Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

hismess · #1 07-07-2012, 05:52 AM

well its been 2 weeks since we last spoke and its getting better. i still have moments when it bothers me, but their short moments. i ran into a few friends a few days ago, and they said they spoke to him. that they heard it was a pretty bad break up. i was like really? whatever! but of course, i held my head up and just smiled and acted like it didn't bother me. but it was hurting inside. but i moved on from it.
now i stay busy with my life, and my kids, and work and still waiting on that house!
the adjustment really isn't that hard. i think its due to him not being here for so long, so i'm use to being alone and doing it all myself. he wasn't here physically before, so theres no getting use to him physically being gone now. i still have my cell phone glued to my hand though. so use to taking it evrywhere with me, that the habit is hard to break. lol. enjoying the free time of not staulking the mailman now, or looking for things to print off line to send him, or the weekly trip to the post office every saturday morning.
i'm going to burn his stuff tonight, have my bestie coming over and we're gonna drink a few cold one's and burn it. i'm feeling ok with that and its time to let it go.
so over all, its going okay. i'm strong willed and independant, so i know it'll get better as time goes on.

La Divina · #2 07-07-2012, 06:37 AM

Awww im so happy for u! Not seeing him def does help the process and if u ever feel down is OK u will have great days n bad ones in the process of letting go but u will see time flies n soon he will start being just a memory ..telling u this from.experience ..it does get better

wish u all da luck in the world...

InmateLover67 · #3 07-07-2012, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hismess

well its been 2 weeks since we last spoke and its getting better. i still have moments when it bothers me, but their short moments. i ran into a few friends a few days ago, and they said they spoke to him. that they heard it was a pretty bad break up. i was like really? whatever! but of course, i held my head up and just smiled and acted like it didn't bother me. but it was hurting inside. but i moved on from it.
now i stay busy with my life, and my kids, and work and still waiting on that house!
the adjustment really isn't that hard. i think its due to him not being here for so long, so i'm use to being alone and doing it all myself. he wasn't here physically before, so theres no getting use to him physically being gone now. i still have my cell phone glued to my hand though. so use to taking it evrywhere with me, that the habit is hard to break. lol. enjoying the free time of not staulking the mailman now, or looking for things to print off line to send him, or the weekly trip to the post office every saturday morning.
i'm going to burn his stuff tonight, have my bestie coming over and we're gonna drink a few cold one's and burn it. i'm feeling ok with that and its time to let it go.
so over all, its going okay. i'm strong willed and independant, so i know it'll get better as time goes on.

Good for you for getting on with your life. I am sure it is hard at times, but the less contact you have with him, the more healing that will take place for you.

Stay strong and enjoy yourself and have a blast buring his shit!

Peace~

*#1AndOnly* · #4 07-08-2012, 01:26 AM

I'm glad to see you are hanging in there. Just remeber to take it 1 day at a time and it is ok to have down days. I completelt understand and appreciate though that him being gone has helped ease the transition a little. Sometimes blessings come in disguise.

hismess · #5 07-08-2012, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by #1AndOnly

I'm glad to see you are hanging in there. Just remeber to take it 1 day at a time and it is ok to have down days. I completelt understand and appreciate though that him being gone has helped ease the transition a little. Sometimes blessings come in disguise.

your right. a blessing in disguise! i believe the not seeing each other is what helps the most. he's on a 9 month post release and can't leave his county till thats done. i'm hoping to be in my house by then. even though he knows where the house is, i don't think he'll show up.
i take my days one at a time and go with the flow.

hismess · #6 07-08-2012, 06:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InmateLover67

Good for you for getting on with your life. I am sure it is hard at times, but the less contact you have with him, the more healing that will take place for you.

Stay strong and enjoy yourself and have a blast buring his shit!

Peace~

girl i love your posts!!! thank you. i didn't burn his shit last night. got busy with my bestie helping her. but today is the day. gonna do it later tonight. no contact is good. his son lives down the road from me, and i get the feeling he'll gonna move in this neighborhood when his post release is up. so i'm hoping to be out of here before then.

hismess · #7 07-08-2012, 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Divina

Awww im so happy for u! Not seeing him def does help the process and if u ever feel down is OK u will have great days n bad ones in the process of letting go but u will see time flies n soon he will start being just a memory ..telling u this from.experience ..it does get better

wish u all da luck in the world...

thanks girl! i know as time passes it'll get easier. right now, i'm focusing on my house and what i have to do when i get it. starting to think of decorating idea's for it. think i'm going with a beach theme. lol. today is a good day!

hismess · #8 07-16-2012, 04:33 PM

well i went off on friday night and burned all his crap! it made one hell of a fire! i cried a bit, but tried to think of all that happened and kept telling myself i'm better then this!
then over the weekend i found out that my so called ex bestie, who is apart of the click, the b*tch that told him everything...was down at his momma's house the day he came home, and they "hooked up" that day! so her lil comment months ago, about when she got her hands on him alone, came true!!! ON HIS FIRST DAY HOME!!!!
he's been in my neighborhood a lot cuz his son is here and so is she! so he's been at her house alot!
i'm so ready to get out of here! the house i've been waiting for isn't ready and it may be months cuz the guy renting it is talking about staying in it. so i said screw it! a friend of mine has an apartment for rent and he really wants my daughter n me in it, so i'm gonna talk to him about it. if we can agree on rent and all, i'm gonna save up as much as i can and get us out of this neighborhood by end of august!!! screw it!
i felt like i've reached my breaking point over the weekend! time for me to start being a b*tch and do for my baby girl and myself! she starts her senior year in a few weeks and we're talking about her joining the military. i gotta spend as much time with her NOW as i can.
i have don't have many friends, can count them all on one hand. but i don't care. they are true friends, family to me! i want out of this neighborhood, cuz i know i'll run into her, him n everyone else soon enough. and i don't want to do that!

Purplegirl1008 · #9 07-16-2012, 05:32 PM

He hooked up with her on his first day home? Wow what a piece of shit!

hismess · #10 07-16-2012, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purplegirl1008

He hooked up with her on his first day home? Wow what a piece of shit!

YUP!!!!! that he did!!! they have been friends all their lives, so they kept in contact while he was locked down. but the past year, comments were made by her and we got into it, and i ended our friendship. he knew this!!!
but yup...i wasn't allowed to be there the day he came home, but she was! so now he's in my neighborhood all the time. i'm trying to get out of it.
since he's back running with the 'click' again of so called friends, he'll end up violating his parole and end up going back. if he does, he better not write me! cuz if he does, he'll get one sheet of paper from me saying...
"you better write to someone who cares!!! go back to her and the click!!!"

La Divina · #11 07-16-2012, 07:57 PM

Wow ur story is a bit familiar to mines but girl theres no better way to get them mad then to be an act happy im seriousss!!

Purplegirl1008 · #12 07-16-2012, 09:56 PM

OMG GIRL THAT'S MAJORLY F'ED UP! I am a very even tempered person but if some other biatch was allowed to see my babe his first day out n not me I'd flip! Luckily he and I have talked about it and I told him I'd try not to be too selfish in sharing him! We are gonna go to his family's for a bit n then I'm kidnapping him. Ur post just made me super angry right there with you!

hismess · #13 07-17-2012, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purplegirl1008

OMG GIRL THAT'S MAJORLY F'ED UP! I am a very even tempered person but if some other biatch was allowed to see my babe his first day out n not me I'd flip! Luckily he and I have talked about it and I told him I'd try not to be too selfish in sharing him! We are gonna go to his family's for a bit n then I'm kidnapping him. Ur post just made me super angry right there with you!

We agreed it would only be his family & kids there. Turns out it was everyone there!!! I'm done!

Babydoll818 · #14 07-17-2012, 07:51 PM

I hope you're doing okay. I admire your strength & courage.

juss me6 · #15 07-17-2012, 08:05 PM

Wow girl keep your head up. That is as low as they come. And that girl super low. I hate females. I hope you pull through this and count your blessings atleast you saw early he didn't want to change =(

hismess · #16 07-28-2012, 02:37 PM

Thank you everyone! I'm still doing better each day. I still have moments that get me. He drives by my house sometimes but it don't bother me any more. Found out he's with some girl. Also he's still staying with his mom and they are fighting so he needs to get his own place. Also he's not working. Wow! He kept telling me he had a job waiting for him. Turns out to be another lie he told. Not my problem. I'm still focusing on getting a new place to live and taking care of me!

hismess · #17 08-19-2012, 07:22 AM

Well its been about 2 months now, and things are going great! Still waiting on the house, but its due to landlord putting a new roof and all on it. It'll happen, just have to be patient.
The kids and I are doing wonderful! Work is work, that won't ever change. But I'm back to doing what I enjoy and not having a cell phone super glued to my hand 24/7! That took some time to get use too! lol.
As for him, word has it, he's still messing with my exbest friend. He's still always in my neighborhood, but lucky, haven't seen each other at all! He does or did have a lil staulker girlfriend. For what I've heard, he dumped her after only about a month and she's threatening to call his PO and report on what he's REALLY doing! Seems as though he's back on drugs, and she's threatening to tell the PO everything if he dumps her. He's on parole for 5 yrs, and back with our "click" of friends, so its only a matter of time before he's back on the hard drugs (crack) and back to his old ways again. He's still looking for a job and is having major problems at his mom's house, so he can't stay there much longer.
Even though I feel bad for him, karma is coming around. I'm so thankful things happened the way they did. So now I'm still focusing on me and mine and doing whats best for me!

LOVEPINK86 · #18 08-19-2012, 11:51 AM

Wow your ex sounds like mine lol...he is a drug addict, goes in and out of jail on parole violations too. Although mine can't keep is di*k in his pants so he has 3 kids by 3 girls, and is a deadbeat Dad, except when one of the girls brings the 2 month old baby to visit him in county. Just freaking disgusting!

Anyway I too admire your strength!!

I'm sorry you are having to deal with all the drama. It seems as though guys like this love drama and girls fighting over them. I hope you get a new place soon!!

hismess · #19 08-19-2012, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOVEPINK86

Wow your ex sounds like mine lol...he is a drug addict, goes in and out of jail on parole violations too. Although mine can't keep is di*k in his pants so he has 3 kids by 3 girls, and is a deadbeat Dad, except when one of the girls brings the 2 month old baby to visit him in county. Just freaking disgusting!

Anyway I too admire your strength!!

I'm sorry you are having to deal with all the drama. It seems as though guys like this love drama and girls fighting over them. I hope you get a new place soon!!

thanks! yea, i'm staying clear of him and everyone else that hangs with him. mine has 4 kids, 3 momma's and word has it there's another kid out there of his! i thank god above everyday for bringing it all to light when he did.
you stay strong too! we're amazing women! don't ever forget that! or let a man take that from you!

LOVEPINK86 · #20 08-19-2012, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hismess

thanks! yea, i'm staying clear of him and everyone else that hangs with him. mine has 4 kids, 3 momma's and word has it there's another kid out there of his! i thank god above everyday for bringing it all to light when he did.
you stay strong too! we're amazing women! don't ever forget that! or let a man take that from you!

Wow! What's so sad is the kids involved

they are so innocent and never asked to be neglected. These irresponsibe and deadbeat men should all be sterilized!! I'm sure my ex will end up with another 4-5 by the time he's 50. I'm sure there are a few out there he doesn't know about.

Yes we are amazing and deserve so much more! I am still struggling a little bit to not have contact with him, but I am trying to stay strong. Praying helps a lot too!

hismess · #21 08-19-2012, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOVEPINK86

Wow! What's so sad is the kids involved

they are so innocent and never asked to be neglected. These irresponsibe and deadbeat men should all be sterilized!! I'm sure my ex will end up with another 4-5 by the time he's 50. I'm sure there are a few out there he doesn't know about.

Yes we are amazing and deserve so much more! I am still struggling a little bit to not have contact with him, but I am trying to stay strong. Praying helps a lot too!

Stay strong & pray everyday hun! It does get better. I'm just glad I didn't get to see him on his first day home cuz then it would be harder on me. Actually I haven't seen him at all!!!

pisces317 · #22 08-20-2012, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hismess

Well its been about 2 months now, and things are going great! Still waiting on the house, but its due to landlord putting a new roof and all on it. It'll happen, just have to be patient.
The kids and I are doing wonderful! Work is work, that won't ever change. But I'm back to doing what I enjoy and not having a cell phone super glued to my hand 24/7! That took some time to get use too! lol.
As for him, word has it, he's still messing with my exbest friend. He's still always in my neighborhood, but lucky, haven't seen each other at all! He does or did have a lil staulker girlfriend. For what I've heard, he dumped her after only about a month and she's threatening to call his PO and report on what he's REALLY doing! Seems as though he's back on drugs, and she's threatening to tell the PO everything if he dumps her. He's on parole for 5 yrs, and back with our "click" of friends, so its only a matter of time before he's back on the hard drugs (crack) and back to his old ways again. He's still looking for a job and is having major problems at his mom's house, so he can't stay there much longer.
Even though I feel bad for him, karma is coming around. I'm so thankful things happened the way they did. So now I'm still focusing on me and mine and doing whats best for me!

whoever is telling you all this should have a degree in journalism cause you seem to know all his business and it maybe your way of holding on for just alil while,i did the same thing and its not healthy cause when the nasty stuff started coming out i was super hurt,i learn the best way to let go is letting go of the concern for what he did,eat or involved himself with,it hurts but when the partner has another agenda and where no longer a part of it then where just a distraction its time to move on.i hope that you understand this isnt about you this guy has commitment issues excepting drugs and abusing his body,good luck and remember him not being the one just means the ONE is still outside/inside dont close your heart cause this guy didnt appreciate you

hismess · #23 08-21-2012, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pisces317

whoever is telling you all this should have a degree in journalism cause you seem to know all his business and it maybe your way of holding on for just alil while,i did the same thing and its not healthy cause when the nasty stuff started coming out i was super hurt,i learn the best way to let go is letting go of the concern for what he did,eat or involved himself with,it hurts but when the partner has another agenda and where no longer a part of it then where just a distraction its time to move on.i hope that you understand this isnt about you this guy has commitment issues excepting drugs and abusing his body,good luck and remember him not being the one just means the ONE is still outside/inside dont close your heart cause this guy didnt appreciate you

thank you. i don't care whats going on with him. it just comes up in conversation for a minute and then i change the subject. plus i stil live in the area that he hangs out in and i'm still friends with a small few people here. so its only natural for us both to hear about what the other is doing. i think its rather amusing in a way. to hear what he may or may not be doing and its the complete opposite of all the lies he told me while he was inside. its been nothing but a huge eye opener!!! one that i am thankful for. i imagine he's heard crap about me as well. small area...talk spreads like crazy!
as for me, it don't bother me. actually i can sit bak and laugh a bit over it. it is what it is. i have no hard feelings for him, i wish him the best in whatever he does in life. i make it a point to tell people that because i'm not scorned by it. i've been down this road before and knew what could happen at the end, and yet i still choose to stay. i'm not bitter by it at all.
my life is improving daily and i'm happy.