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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: How much do you send your MWI monthly?
$1 - $49.99 51 14.25%
$50.00 - $99.99 92 25.70%
$100 - $150 69 19.27%
I'm ballin' and I send more 42 11.73%
I don't send money 104 29.05%
Voters: 358. You may not vote on this poll

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  #101  
Old 12-22-2016, 10:17 PM
jjolly310 jjolly310 is offline
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I try to put $75 dollars a month in. His family also puts money in through JPAY. I also pay the phone bills, which are crazy high. He asked me one time for money, and he was ashamed to ask. So I don't feel like I'm being used. I want to make him as comfortable as possible while he is in there.
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  #102  
Old 01-29-2017, 05:41 PM
Faith123 Faith123 is offline
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We aren't MWI but I send 50 to 80 a month for phone calls and every other month 120 to 200 for family visits. Ohhh and 80 to 100 for canteen once in a while😩😩😩 Ohh visits cost 50 to 60 too every two weeks.....
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  #103  
Old 03-22-2017, 07:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pray4u View Post
I've been helping a friend who is incarcerated in Georgia

for several years. I've invested a lot of time and money.

Over $40K
and countless hours. 1,000's of hours!!!

He said I've become his best friend. I thought he was a friend so I was willing to do what I could to help him BUT lately, for months I've been telling him I cant help him financially because I am drowning in debt and had to take on another job to pay off my debt... i'm working 70+ hours a week to stay above water but he keeps asking for more money. I understand he needs the help but i am at my whits end and feel due to his inconsiderate attitude towards my debt... that he probably wasn't a real friend at all. I write him, encourage him, type all his legal briefs, pay filing fees, put money on his books etc and you know what he did for my birthday?? He sent a piece of paper AFTER MY BIRTHDAY... (HE KNOWS WHEN MY BIRTHDAY IS) that the paper he sent late, said HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.. that's it! For Christmas I sent him holiday package, put money on his books etc... he didn't even send me a Christmas card. I feel like such a fool for ever helping him in the first place. He gives nothing and expects so much.

Last week I told him I was hurt. I asked how that made him feel and he said "indifferent".

I also asked him if i was in the same situation as he was, would he help me as much as I have helped him and he said NO.

What the hell! And he said.. at least I am being honest!
I don't understand why I care about him
.
i am terribly hurt and need the strength to walk away and not look back.
---
um.ok, after i've read tonight some old/new post, i wanted to see if any 1 return here to say they cut a joker/user/bum like this off.

I pray to GOD you are ok out there and you're happier without this leech/mooch/no good man in your life. Seriously. I am the type who would cut his azz off and plaster his name all over the internet,to warn others,and move on with a smile and my fat $bank growing each day and good life i have.I wouldn't even care, because he was using you,even if you were not able to fee/see it.This is 1 of the saddest/wore stories and post that i've seen here,and i am sad for you. I feel hurt for you just reading him saying, "NO." (and other things i've read) this is just sad. I pray you're away from this man, even as a friend,and you're right chica. NO FRIEND is this way in life. I do not know one. He was using you/abusing you IMHO even as a "friend" and he is nefarious and will not be blessed either way. JMHO on that. But, you're a true friend...

You shall be blessed by the lord above. God bless.

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Last edited by a.rare.love; 03-22-2017 at 08:04 PM..
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  #104  
Old 03-23-2017, 12:29 PM
shaunac shaunac is offline
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I don't send money as we are fairly young in this relationship (six months in) and I want him to like me for ME, not my money.

Having said that, I pay for calls. Each call costs $1.50ish and we talk several times each week.

Five days ago we had our first visit. The first of many, I hope. It is a 900 mile round trip and costs $300.
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  #105  
Old 04-10-2017, 12:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shaunac View Post
I don't send money as we are fairly young in this relationship (six months in) and I want him to like me for ME, not my money.

Having said that, I pay for calls. Each call costs $1.50ish and we talk several times each week.

Five days ago we had our first visit. The first of many, I hope. It is a 900 mile round trip and costs $300.
I am in the same boat. We are going into our 2nd year and I have never once sent him money and he has never asked. He's actually sent me $10 checks a few times to help with the phone bills :] We were joking around one day and I asked him what he would prefer: money on his books or phone calls and visits. He didn't hesitate with an answer on that one! I live in Florida and he is in upstate New York so a weekend visit pretty much costs the same as a mini-vacay. But those 2 days are so fun for us and we need them more than anything! When I do visit, we ball out together LOL! We pig out on the vending machines, take all the pictures we want and I will go shopping up there for a food package rather than spend $60 shipping one. Overall, we are content with the conditions we are given and time spent on the phone or during visits mean wwayyyy more to the both of us then some cash for his books.
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  #106  
Old 04-16-2017, 01:34 AM
sweetnsassy69 sweetnsassy69 is offline
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140 dollars in a year but i do tak money and purchase books mags.etc.
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  #107  
Old 06-01-2017, 03:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vanelli View Post
I am in the same boat. We are going into our 2nd year and I have never once sent him money and he has never asked. He's actually sent me $10 checks a few times to help with the phone bills :] We were joking around one day and I asked him what he would prefer: money on his books or phone calls and visits. He didn't hesitate with an answer on that one! I live in Florida and he is in upstate New York so a weekend visit pretty much costs the same as a mini-vacay. But those 2 days are so fun for us and we need them more than anything! When I do visit, we ball out together LOL! We pig out on the vending machines, take all the pictures we want and I will go shopping up there for a food package rather than spend $60 shipping one. Overall, we are content with the conditions we are given and time spent on the phone or during visits mean wwayyyy more to the both of us then some cash for his books.
---

aw so sweet chica.

Gots to make the best out of the current situation we are all in, that's for sure. So glad you're doin just that.He send u cash even when he do not have much demonstrate,
a "true man."JMHO

I like that. Mine has done that too,when he can and has NADA,really.Nothing but a few bucks,if he is able to get working in the prison i.e.,drawing(s)usually and
he can truly draw,and write a poem for others. On his commissary log he send me prove that is how he get cash at times,and send me 1/2 so that is good your guy
send you at times even if just five or ten bucks,show me he is a real honorable true man imo.

Hugs -n- Blessings to you and i am glad you are able, to at least go see him/spend such "quality time" with him.
Some can't.so the fone become one's lifeline.
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  #108  
Old 06-07-2017, 03:13 PM
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$ tight for me as he knows but when I can I try to send a lil $10 month to help with corrilinks
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  #109  
Old 07-04-2017, 02:28 PM
Karenkmt Karenkmt is offline
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Mine doesn't want or need anything from me. I've had to send him some without telling him for his bday cause if I had told him he would've told me not too. I am a single mother of 4 and so he said he doesn't want to take anything from me but he knows I am here for him if ever he truly needs. I love that man till death and would do jus about anything for him. He also knows about my past relationship and I guess he wants to show me that all he wants me for is me! It will make a year that we met on sept.10th and we still haven't met but I have noooooo doubt that he's my forever. He's definitely one of the best things to ever happen to me. I'm going visit him for the first time in less than 2 weeks on July. 16th! I can not wait!
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  #110  
Old 07-13-2017, 09:26 AM
Shawty2017 Shawty2017 is offline
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I spend nothing he shows me he is a man and committed and focused on just me and being truthful and by providing for his wife and congrats u get to see him soon i got another month wait before I get to see him again but im sure youll never forget your first visit and hopefully its a contact visit
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  #111  
Old 07-13-2017, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by jessitlv View Post
I hate talking about sending him money because some people act like it's a bad thing but... I send my man $120 a month on a schedule because I can afford it. He's in a supermax and they don't have jobs, plus the whole prison is solitary confinement so he can't gamble or hustle. I want him to be comfortable and he can't be on the $5 a month the state gives him. We're in a relationship and sometimes the scales are unbalanced. I've got his back just like I know he'll have mine one day very soon. Also he pays for our phone time through canteen so the money I send goes for that. Oh and he has NEVER asked me to send him money, I do it because I want to
Same I send mine 150$ a month
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  #112  
Old 07-13-2017, 08:08 PM
Curt'swife8 Curt'swife8 is offline
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I send about $60 a month to help with his pre-paid calls and Corrlinks. His mother has always sent $100 a month.
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  #113  
Old 07-14-2017, 07:19 AM
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It wasn't a regularly deducted thing. Every few months he would let me know that he didn't have any money in trust, and I would send a few hundred dollars. It wasn't often, and he really made the amount sent work for him, so I never minded doing it.
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  #114  
Old 07-14-2017, 02:15 PM
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He said unless I win the lottery he won't accept any money from me, no matter what.
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  #115  
Old 07-14-2017, 02:23 PM
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I send about $60 a month to help with his pre-paid calls and Corrlinks. His mother has always sent $100 a month.
Just wanted to clarify... I didn't meet him while he was incarcerated and he is my husband. I just thought the person seeking this information was trying to determine a fair amount that her/his LO might need.
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  #116  
Old 08-12-2017, 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Crazychick12 View Post
$ tight for me as he knows but when I can I try to send a lil $10 month to help with corrilinks

oh for sure. chica. that's fine, when it is a real-true friendship/relationship i see no problemas with it at all. when it is true-real.

The signs are always there, to show us if it's real,and when it is not. I know $ can blurry the lines a bit at times, for some,but not all and i think this is fine.

Some men yes are experts at the prison manipulation game, (real good)but you just have to watch all red flags(some see them/some don't)
and i hope it work out for both of you! Hugs and blessings your way tonight.
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  #117  
Old 08-12-2017, 08:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanjoBee View Post
It wasn't a regularly deducted thing. Every few months he would let me know that he didn't have any money in trust, and I would send a few hundred dollars.

It wasn't often, and he really made the amount sent work for him, so I never minded doing it
.
That is nice. I feel if a guy "keep asking/each day and or "wait for 1 week or 2 to go by,then say,

"Baby i am broke, account is down to zero, and i feel bad asking, "BUT....>>>"i am broke< i am not eating< i am losing weight is a bunch of bull sh_t"NOT FOR ALL but some."

I think if he asking each day or week for cash he is either:

1.)Paying or hustlin'or doing a bunch of "other things" that he really dont' want his lady to know.) #BECAREFUL because, this does happen everyone.


2.)Spending it on crap he really don't need,and can live without.

I feel a man can stretch forty/fifty bucks out within 1 to thirty days, if he try. I really do. My relatives did! Cousin and 1 of my older brother when they did time long time ago.
BUT i feel if we women have a dollar or few bucks i.e,. 20 bucks extra why not (Only if again we are able to)as i know mine would do it for me so this is why i would do it,again ONLY if and when i want to,not because he has asked me..."
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  #118  
Old 01-03-2018, 10:11 PM
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I do nothing for him he refuses for me to he works he takes care of us from inside me and our family which includes my kids from preious marriage and i know wheb he has n dont and if i take from him n he needed it i make sure he gets it back n he gets madd but i explain to him im ur wife n u take care of us so i take care of u cause your being a leader and provider for our family so its only right for me as ur wife to have ur back and follow and do for you like you do us
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  #119  
Old 01-14-2018, 05:36 AM
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Last month as an early Christmas gift I sent him $160. He was so grateful. And he was so happy. Doing that made me happy and to see him happy as well. He sent me a card as a way to say how much he appreciated it. Put a smile on my face. That was the first time I sent him in that much since we started writing to each other.
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  #120  
Old 01-15-2018, 12:43 AM
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I have three people I consider friends, not romantic relationships. I send them the same amount each month, about the same time of the month, and I let them know that "sending more" happens on their birthday, Christmas, and in one person's case, her daughter's birthday. I've always been responsible and disciplined about money, and I tell them all that regardless of how much or how little they have, they should be able to manage it to last for what they need it for. I also pay for phone calls/emails/video visits. I send an amount that's comfortable for me, because I don't want to ever feel someday like I was used, if that were to ever happen. I have a few other people I correspond with randomly for other reasons, and I occasionally throw them somewhere between $20 and $40.
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  #121  
Old 01-15-2018, 06:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pray4u View Post
I've been helping a friend who is incarcerated in Georgia for several years. I've invested a lot of time and money. Over $40K and countless hours. 1,000's of hours!!! He said I've become his best friend. I thought he was a friend so I was willing to do what I could to help him BUT lately, for months I've been telling him I cant help him financially because I am drowning in debt and had to take on another job to pay off my debt... i'm working 70+ hours a week to stay above water but he keeps asking for more money. I understand he needs the help but i am at my whits end and feel due to his inconsiderate attitude towards my debt... that he probably wasn't a real friend at all. I write him, encourage him, type all his legal briefs, pay filing fees, put money on his books etc and you know what he did for my birthday?? He sent a piece of paper AFTER MY BIRTHDAY... (HE KNOWS WHEN MY BIRTHDAY IS) that the paper he sent late, said HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.. that's it! For Christmas I sent him holiday package, put money on his books etc... he didn't even send me a Christmas card. I feel like such a fool for ever helping him in the first place. He gives nothing and expects so much. Last week I told him I was hurt. I asked how that made him feel and he said "indifferent". I also asked him if i was in the same situation as he was, would he help me as much as I have helped him and he said NO. What the hell! And he said.. at least I am being honest! I don't understand why I care about him. i am terribly hurt and need the strength to walk away and not look back.
Another example that money can't buy love. I hope you dumped him and moved on, paying off your dept, finishing school and if there's money left you're spending it on YOURSELF!

What an ass... he used you big time. Just watch some of the prison documentaries, they don't need much besides for phone and commissary - all the other stuff is going to hustling (to describe it midly).

P.S. my boyfriend gets $100 per month for calls, that's it. He works and has an uncle that takes care of him as well (new sneakers, commissary, etc.). So that's my limit and he knows it. Don't forget the airfares, hotels, rental cars twice a year...
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  #122  
Old 01-22-2018, 04:08 PM
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I put money on my phone, enough for a call a day. And visits.. For my gas, and our food.
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  #123  
Old 01-30-2018, 11:44 AM
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I don't send any money. He pays for the phone calls (3 to 4 a day $1.50 a piece) and sends me money when he is able to
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  #124  
Old 01-31-2018, 04:54 AM
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Send what you can afford, he'll be grateful and if you can't afford it , then dont. You have to live on the outside rent, food, utilities, car note, insurance etc.... he gets that free
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  #125  
Old 02-01-2018, 03:31 AM
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My MWI taught me a good lesson. We got married a year after we started writing. He was always asking me for money and at the time I had a good job so it was okay. The phone bill was always over $300 a month (close to $20 a call in 2002-2003). Plus visits 5 hours drive each way and the vending machine money and packages. Then I threatened to divorce him because he never wrote...said he had nothing to say. Well, he went in the hole and went cold turkey on a few things. That's where all my money had been going! But he got off it all and wanted to start sending me money! I refused because I knew what he had to do to get it. I got laid off so I was hurting for money. I didn't send him anymore money or packages, I just paid the phone bill. I waited for him 7 years. We we're great for three years when he got out and then he went back to his old ways and we got a divorce. That was 4 years ago. He is now back in prison and we are writing again. I send him packages and phone money. That's what I would do for a friend so I will do it for him. Oh, we are getting remarried as soon as we can. He has 3 more years. Do what you can afford and won't feel used for.
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