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Old 07-18-2015, 05:14 AM
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maytayah maytayah is offline
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Originally Posted by sarahas View Post
Would he just keep repeating this pattern, even if he meets someone new? I keep thinking some girl who comes along and is perfect for him will change him or something.
It may be the case that he will change if absolutely the perfect girl for him turns up. Some people don't commit because they are looking for their minds idea of perfection. Unfortunately this perfection rarely exists in reality.

Others don't commit as they enjoy the thrill and excitement of the initial getting to know you phase of the relationship. Once the stable day to day commitment kicks in they are bored and want to move on,

It is far more likely in your case that this mans inability to form lasting stable adult relationships is down to his upbringing and his reliance on alcohol.

You cant fix him and you cant make him settle down if he doesnt want to and isn't capable of doing so.

You are still very invested in this broken relationship and you need to get some support to let go and move on with your own life.
Analysing everything he has said and done and all that has been and could have been will not give you the answers you want.
The only way for you to get through this is get some support and help to stop pining for this man who cannot be what you want him to be.
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
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Old 07-18-2015, 09:46 AM
RBASa RBASa is offline
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Thank you, I posted this for support, which im getting. It helps, and there's always a comfort to hear other people's view as they are outsiders looking in. I thought it was me, that I did or didn't do something, I know he is very broken. I'm getting past it, but it takes me time. There's no contact and I'm moving forward with my life.

Last edited by RBASa; 07-18-2015 at 10:04 AM.. Reason: Wanted to add more
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Old 07-20-2015, 09:48 AM
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Lots of great advice and support here. I hope that you are able to see the value in all of the experiences others have gone through. I think the main point is that no one wants to see you get hurt! I know it's hard when communication stops, that happened to me once with a guy I thought was pretty awesome. I still don't know what happened because I never heard from him again. But I let it go and knew that wasn't part of God's plan for my life. Now I am married to the man of my dreams, who always responds to my texts and calls. He treats me like a queen and still opens my car door for me 18 years later. Just know that the right person is out there - bless you!

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Old 07-20-2015, 10:10 AM
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Looking back I see the troubles and issues he has and it would have been lot to go through. Tons of good advice, thank you to everyone! I need to learn to not settle and put up with bad behavior. I kinda kept thinking that I would be different for him, I would be the one who changes him...not the case.
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