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Mndseay · #1 07-13-2012, 07:15 PM

Do inmates get anything, out of being married? My mwi and I have been talking about marriage and he is wanting to get married now he doesnt want to wait until he gets out which will more than likely be 6 or 7 yrs from now. Im just curious if there is any privlages he or i will get from it.

Btw ive never been married or engaged before (im still waiting on an official proposal) and i've always dreamed ofa actual wedding.

HardHeadedWoman · #2 07-13-2012, 07:28 PM

Not sure which state your in but some states have conjugal visits but you have to be married. Conjugals are where you and he get to spend a night or 2 together. That would pretty much be the only benefit he would get.

My personal opinion being that you have always wanted your dream wedding and im pretty sure you didnt grow up dreaming of a prison wedding lol, I would wait until he came home since he does have a release date. When he came home you can take some time to really plan your dream wedding together. It would also give him time to adjust back into the free world.

prison relationships are hard but coming back into the free world is no picnic either. Allow him some time to show you he has changed for the better so you dont have to walk this road again.

Live your dream. If you dont then it will always just be a dream when you have the choice to make it come true or not. Your honeymoon will be alot better out here than going home alone after your vows. Consider his time as a long engagement lol

Mndseay · #3 07-14-2012, 11:16 AM

Anyone else???

LisasTX · #4 07-14-2012, 11:24 AM

Yea the only thing I can think of is conjugal visits and maybe being able to discuss his legal things with a lawyer. If eligible for parole he can parole to your house.
I also have that dream wedding and my LO would not take that from me, he would rather wait til he is released. What if you decide that you don't wanna be faithful that long, then you really don't have a choice. We would probably do a simple engagement. UNLESS, he promises to have a legit ceremony when he is released. That would be okay.

4_U_2_Envie · #5 07-15-2012, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mndseay

Do inmates get anything, out of being married? My mwi and I have been talking about marriage and he is wanting to get married now he doesnt want to wait until he gets out which will more than likely be 6 or 7 yrs from now. Im just curious if there is any privlages he or i will get from it.

Btw ive never been married or engaged before (im still waiting on an official proposal) and i've always dreamed ofa actual wedding.

Not really unless the state you live in has conjungal visits and he is eligible. he would have to find out from his counselor on the procdeure. other than that there aint really any other privileges to being married to an imate other than you love him and want to. well if you guys to decide to you can always renew your vows when he gets home. good luck

**Patty** · #6 07-15-2012, 04:57 PM

Isn't the love and companionship of a lifelong mate the privilege we all seek in marriage?

Mndseay · #7 07-15-2012, 06:20 PM

@patty yes it is im just wanting the wedding i've dreamed of. We have different ideals of this as well but made a comprimise.
@everyone else, thanks for ur input

ilovecoffee · #8 07-15-2012, 06:56 PM

My babe asked me to marry him. I said yes. He wants to get married while he is in. He wants certain family members to be there while they are still here on earth. And he says that he just cant wait till he gets out. Ultimately it is my choice, and I havent decided yet. As far as I know we wont get nothing no perks of being married, WELL! Except for some new bling hahaha!

DzWifey08 · #9 07-15-2012, 08:33 PM

Call me old fashioned but I have always dreamed of my wedding! Mine asked me after his bid started...we set our date..booked our honeymoon...bought the dress and BOOM!!! Blindsided with some bs charges that was supposed to be dropped! Now Im 40 pounds lighter and have 23 more months to go!! He wouldnt marry me in prison if he had to! We dont want to remember it that way!!

DREAM0208 · #10 07-15-2012, 09:05 PM

Thats something that only you can decide... .Even if you got married while he was in prison you can always still have your wedding when he comes home. i got married while my husband was and still is in there. And Im still not giving up my dream wedding. When he comes home within the 1st I will still have my dream wedding.. well renewal of our vowels...

irishcanuk · #11 07-28-2012, 12:31 PM

Never mind the advantages what about the disadvantages to marrying a convict. Check out whether you will be considered liable for his debts, any restitution he may have to pay, civil liabilities, back taxes/loans etc.? Check out what the implications are for marrying someone with a criminal conviction ie, housing, employment, child custody, financial, personal, professional etc...... In an ideal world none of this would matter, but that's not reality. To be forwarned is to be forearmed so you are better to find out before you make any decision about getting married.

mridgeman · #12 07-28-2012, 03:11 PM

Please wait and have that perfect wedding. He needs to get back on his feet and get a job so he can buy you the ring you deserve and then he needs to give you that ring in a special way like all women want. Dont give up those dreams.

Mndseay · #13 07-29-2012, 12:36 PM

Thanksladies!!!

mridgeman · #14 07-29-2012, 01:13 PM

Let us know what you decide. I think you were looking for people to tell you to go ahead and do it and i dont think you are sure about it. You know love doesn't go away so wait until he gets out gets a job which is number one on his list of things to do. He can't get married and have no way of supporting you and I am old fashioned but I still think men should be able to support their own families. Even if you have a great job that will just make things even better. You want a nice place to live too. Has he given any thought to these things? Maybe you should talk to him about these things. Money is not the most important thing but you want someone who wants to try and make things as easy on both of you as he can. Now put that together with your wedding dreams and you have a wonderful life to look forward to.
I wish you the best. I know you already know what you should do just from the few posts you have written here. you deserve the best and do not settle for less.

Lotus4him · #15 07-29-2012, 09:01 PM

There are no more benefits to getting married to an inmate then just being his pen pal. It doesnt shorten his time and depending on where he is located, if conjugal visits are available or not. If FED-no conjugal visits are allowed at all. If you choose to do it it should because you love him and he loves you and you desire to spend the rest of your lives together despite the situation. Every girl/woman dreams of having a wedding rather it be big or small but all it is for is to show and profess your love before an audience which you can do at any time; initial I do's or renewal I do's. We all look at everything differently and do things differently so take our opinions and think long and hard before you make a choice based on your feelings. your desires, your dreams.
My bestie and I have known each other for two years and have decided to marry in November. We love each other and decided to do it now because we are not getting any younger but also decided together that we would do a big wedding when he comes home in 4 years because we both desire that and I can use the time to save up for my extravagant dress lol and he promised to continue acquiring skills so that he could hopefully find work fast support us and pay for the rest of the wedding-hes already become a certified electrician so hes proving to be a man of his word...best wishes hun