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  #51  
Old 05-28-2008, 03:57 PM
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Default Too Real To Me

I know that I can relate to this as well as most all of us here. God Bless you! Beautifully written!!
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  #52  
Old 10-27-2008, 07:45 PM
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beautiful, just beautiful!
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  #53  
Old 11-02-2008, 11:58 PM
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beautiful
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Waiting for the day my love can come home
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  #54  
Old 12-11-2008, 03:37 PM
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All i could say is wowwww!!! It's a real good poem and i loved it so much!!! I think i feel a tear haha!!!
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  #55  
Old 12-11-2008, 04:44 PM
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wow, this is a great poem!!!
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  #56  
Old 12-23-2008, 12:16 AM
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this is one of the most beautiful poems i have ever read... funny as you read it... you cant help but tear up and smile.. cuz you know YOUR strong enough
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DNT wORRY yOUR not ALoNE babY THOse DAYs are GOne I PROmISE yOU IT wiLL GET better, COrAZOn My COrazON
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  #57  
Old 12-31-2008, 01:41 PM
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that was very well written and so true
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He's HOME!!!! And what a ride it's been

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  #58  
Old 04-07-2009, 12:58 AM
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great great words
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  #59  
Old 04-07-2009, 01:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moniqueSC View Post
I’m Struggling Too!

Today is a bad day. I wish I could say that I've never had one
before, but bad days consume my life. I have no escape from them.
Today is a day when I wonder… Where is the support for me
in-this-struggle?"

When a man asks a woman to wait for him while
he's in prison, does he realize what an incredible emotional
sacrifice it is? Does he realize the pain and never-ending
loneliness that attaches itself to her heart and soul? Does he
realize that yes; we are in this struggle too?

When I made this choice to do this bid with my man I didn't know
what it would mean to consciously hand over the control and
happiness of my life…not to my man, but to an institution. From
the very beginning, my man told me that I had the power in the
relationship because I was the one who was free.

How am I free? What power do I have?

I buy my clothes according to what is
acceptable for visits. At anytime, I can go anywhere my heart
desires, but my heart's desire is trapped within that prison
compound. So, where am I going? I stalk the mailman and won't
leave the house until he comes, waiting for a white envelope with
that familiar handwriting that has taken the place of hugs and
kisses. I check the phone several times a day to make sure it's
working, waiting to hear it ring and see "unavailable" appear on the
caller ID, a sight that has taken the place of the sound of my
doorbell or his car horn.

I set my watch to the clocks in the
prison. I schedule my bedtime around "Count." No, I don't have any
power. The phone company has the power. The prison and the guards
have all the power. Today, I feel helpless and out of control.
Today surely is a bad day, and yes, I am struggling too.


Today, like most of my bad days that pass, I see a little bit of
my life that has slipped away; another memory not made, another
dream that doesn't come true. Another day my son wont know
what its like to have a father in his life, One more day my family is separated.
One more day I'm without a real home. I am so often standing on the
line between sanity and insanity, I have to keep telling
myself, "He's real, this is real, our love is real, and the end will
come."

Today when he called I had to fight off the urge to beg him
to come home to me. "Please come home. If you really loved me,
you'd find a way." Today I blame him for keeping us apart. Today I
am so very angry with him. Today is definitely a bad day, and yes,
I am struggling too.


A good day can turn bad in the blink of an eye, a tick of the
clock, or a beat of my heart. I am on an emotional roller coaster
that changes course without warning or consideration for my mental
state. It never asks permission. Attacks of lonelyness, despair,
confusion, and frustration hit me and consume me from the bottom of
my feet to the top of my head and every crevice of my body in
between. Some bad days I want to curl up in my bed and sleep.
Sleep the days away. Some bad days I can't sleep or even eat.
Sometimes I have to make my heart beat and my lungs take in oxygen.
Suicide is never a thought, but dying from loneliness is always a
possibility.


Today I have no answers that make sense to me for the thousands
of questions running through my head. My mind is cluttered with
doubts and confusion and this makes my heart heavy with guilt and
shame. How could I question the one real joy I have in my life?
There are so many people who are lonely, without love and passion in
their lives, so as difficult as this ordeal is, I know that what he
and I share is the most precious of all gifts.

But today, I can't
remember all the unconditional love, support, and non-judgment that
my man has bestowed upon me. Today I can't remember that my man is
the only one who really understands and accepts me, and the good and
the bad. Today, I can't remember all the desire and passion that my
man has brought out of me. Today, I can't remember that he plays no
games, tells no lies, and wears our love like a badge of honor.
Today, is obviously a bad day, and yes, I am struggling too!


While I wouldn't change one second, erase one tear, or forget
heartache, I can truly understand why a woman would choose not to
wait. The reality is that I am in prison too…I am also doing time
and the only thing I am guilty of is being in love with my man.


For every one of us who stands by our man, that can endure the
bad days and savor the good, there are many who can't. Many just
don't even try. To the men whose women have chosen to move on, you
must always remember that there are always two sides to every
story. Your women might not tell you what's in their hearts, but if
you listen hard enough you can hear them. You can hear their
confusion and their fear pleading with you to understand, to
forgive, to accept, and to remember…


Not every woman is strong enough to endure the bad days that the
struggle brings. Thank God, I'm strong enough!
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  #60  
Old 04-07-2009, 01:52 PM
lind08 lind08 is offline
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Unbelievable! I was at the computer sobbing. You have spoken for many women with these words. You have said what many of us think but don't speak. I have printed this and am sending a copy in my husbands next letter. Thank You , Thank You.
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