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  #1  
Old 03-04-2012, 12:01 AM
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Sad_Eyes Sad_Eyes is offline
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Default Lean In My Love

I wrote this poem many months ago when my boyfriend's brother was in an accident and was in grave condition. It was the first time I heard my bf cry and how he cried regardless of how it would make him look behind bars. I still tear up thinking about that time. It was so difficult for him, but I tried my hardest to be there for him.

Lean In My Love


Your voice was distant, childlike and wavering.
When I answered the phone all you said was hello.
A single, meager, choking word.
Air angrily begging vocal chords to act.
I thought perhaps a child had called me by mistake.
But there it was, the usual twinge of your voice,
but soaked in sadness, despair.
I try to say your name in the gentlest of voices.
I have never seen this side of you.
Fear, anger, and denial have made you like stone.
In this cage, you know the rules very well.
At first I attempt soothing, words of comfort.
I say your name, I reassure.
But as your sobbing grows deeper,
I simply state that I love you,
because anything else would be inadequate.
I do love you, and with every gasp, every choked cry,
your tears continue to fall.
My cheeks begin to sting as well,
single tears misting my eyelids.
I recognize for the first time,
both the depth and the needs of your emotions.
Multi-faceted, multi-dimensional
complete.
My heart becomes laden with pain for the ache you must feel,
for the embarrassment burning your cheeks as the guard stands behind you
probably gloating in what he sees as your moment of weakness.
But your feelings, your misery far outweigh his judgement.
You believe you will lose a part of yourself if he dies.
Your brother, who in your last visit
turned back and placed his hand on the glass in an unusual gesture.
You saw this before the accident, you caught a glimpse
before he even knew what would befall him.
I let silence drift between us,
the only sound,
your soft weeping.
You and I both know you are in a place
where tears are not allowed, and yet you cry anyways,
knowing the full consequences.
That indeed was strength rather than weakness,
but it was also rebellion in the midst of humanity.
I have been here for the good,
but the bad had remained elusive.
Now your vocalization of that deep ache, your pain, your fears,
brings me understanding.
It brings me healing.
You chose or perhaps your mind chose
to present a vulnerability,
a self unhindered, raw,
to the woman who can't even hold your hand,
but who has promised to hold your pain.
I think to myself what trust that must take,
which seals the other half of your heart inside me
like a lit tomb.
I am both sad and content.
I am both selfish and so void
in hopes you will fill me with your worry, your anxiety.
The unbearable that keeps you awake,
the silent screams you murder with your pillow.
I remind you that although not in body, I still stand next to you.
I say I am always with you, that I will be there to hold hope for you
when you are too drained to hold it yourself.
I promise I will place it back in your hands when you are ready.
You do not have to be ready.
I breathe my love through the phone lines.
I have managed to soothe you for the moment.
We hang up, emptiness ringing in my ears.
You continue throughout the days following
to choke back feelings, sobs deep in your chest.
You trust me enough to lower this burden down,
to let just a little bit fly away.
I want to be strong for you.
God knows you have stood helpless,
forgotten behind metal, yet still able
to bear the sound of every single one of my tears.
Day after day after day.
Your brother knows I have a piece of you inside of me.
When I saw him, still, amidst a web of tubes and wires.
Dead breath being breathed for him,
I felt fear for myself.
I felt utter despair for you.
Remaining in a cage while he slips away.
I know that at the crossroads you have often
stood alone.
But here, across lines of communication,
the written word, the steel metal box of the telephone,
You hear my voice in the ink,
through the static and frequencies.
I whisper "you can breathe now,"
that it is ok to breathe now.
I can feel your phantom hand clutching my arm.
You are not alone in this journey.
Lean in my love,
empty your tears,
let them pool in my hands.
I will be your shadow, the blood circulating in your veins. And know this:
although you remain behind bars,
I will welcome you to freedom
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  #2  
Old 03-04-2012, 03:29 AM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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Wow......just wow....that was amazing.....
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Old 03-04-2012, 03:41 AM
NGS_lAdY NGS_lAdY is offline
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Very touching thanks for sharing!!!

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Old 03-05-2012, 12:33 AM
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Thank you ladies! I appreciate your feedback. I know it is super long, but I had to just try and get all those feelings and emotions out! BTW his brother survived!
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Old 03-06-2012, 06:14 PM
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Wow! I really enjoyed reading your poem. It was very touching.
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Old 03-08-2012, 02:13 PM
Inspiration Inspiration is offline
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Sad Eyes that was AWESOME! It did what every good poem should do, it evoked feelings! You captured the very real feelings of inmates, the feelings that they have to hide! Wow! I would like to share this with my lo, I hope you don't mind.

And I am SO glad to hear that his brother survived!

Thank you so much for sharing!
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:09 PM
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Beautiully written! Thanks for sharing...
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