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  #26  
Old 10-13-2017, 10:53 AM
xolady xolady is offline
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Originally Posted by Nicki73562 View Post
And not every relationship is alike...I wasn't trying to "gain" anything...by putting money on securus, giving him money on his books every week, buying him a book, traveling with special needs kids 2 1/2 hrs every week to see him so he doesn't feel lonely...I think I do my share.
I think above poster meant what purpose does it serve but to stress him out and make him feel insecure about what's out of his control. I never bothered my husband with this kind of stuff. He knew I had my fair share of guy's hitting on me before prison and always would how I dealt with it was by ignoring someone who had so little respect for my relationship. I didn't need my husband to worry and why would I even bother with that crap. I know I'm attractive so I usually took it as a complement when someone hit on me.
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  #27  
Old 10-13-2017, 11:02 AM
Nicki73562 Nicki73562 is offline
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Originally Posted by miamac View Post
Big difference between hitting on and physical contact, now it makes more sense. In this case, I would tell my husband, too, because that could be an assault case and I would need his support.

It's never appropriate to touch someone without their consent. I'm sorry someone crossed a boundary with you on that level.
Thanks, sorry I wasn't more clear
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  #28  
Old 10-13-2017, 11:04 AM
Nicki73562 Nicki73562 is offline
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I think above poster meant what purpose does it serve but to stress him out and make him feel insecure about what's out of his control. I never bothered my husband with this kind of stuff. He knew I had my fair share of guy's hitting on me before prison and always would how I dealt with it was by ignoring someone who had so little respect for my relationship. I didn't need my husband to worry and why would I even bother with that crap. I know I'm attractive so I usually took it as a complement when someone hit on me.
Well this guy touched me. I don't find that flattering...
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  #29  
Old 10-13-2017, 11:31 AM
xolady xolady is offline
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Well this guy touched me. I don't find that flattering...
So now he touched you and we're supposed to know this how? I don't call unwanted physical attention getting hit on, I call it sexual assalt. And I for one would have kicked this dude where he would never lay another hand on me. So don't blame people if your feeding 1/2 a story and your not getting the responses you want.
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  #30  
Old 10-13-2017, 11:42 AM
Chaddersgirl Chaddersgirl is offline
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Did you tell your friend and her hubby that his friend did this too you? Maybe if you let them know, your friend's hubby would do or say something and you can ease your guy's mind a bit knowing that the situation has been addressed. Sorry this happened too you.
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  #31  
Old 10-13-2017, 11:51 AM
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Look, speaking as a guy.....I don't really know his side of course, I'm only getting what you're saying to us here.

But you're basically saying that he wants to know everything...and then he reacts like that to you telling him?

The part about the guy touching you is new information as I read the thread......so I could see where that would rile him up a little.

But let's be real about a few things.

1.) You did exactly what you needed to do to get out of the situation.
2.) While it's good you feel you can share everything, you have to keep in mind that he is in a powerless situation. Getting news like this is going to stress him out. And he is going to react. The part where the other guy physically touched you makes his reaction make more sense to me, and I think that, if that had been knowledge before, other posters would have maybe understood the "why" behind what you told him better. Just saying.
3.) As a guy in sort of the opposite situation, just know that if a guard had touched Dee like that and I knew about it, I would have gone to prison myself for assault and battery. Of course he's stressed. You don't touch another man's woman like that.

So with this added bit of information, I do think it's right you told him, but I also completely understand his reaction to this.

What I think you might want to do at some point is have a conversation with him just to clear the air. Let him express his feelings a little more in-depth on this one, because I'm sure that he's very upset someone else touched you. Also explain to him that while you don't want to encourage any more advances from this other guy, you felt that the best thing for you to do in that situation, for your own safety, was to get away from the situation (which is what my impression was is the case...please correct me if I am wrong.)

Also please keep in mind that a lot of the posters here are speaking from personal experience, sometimes many years, even decades of personal experience, in terms of what they tell their guys (or in my case, girl) and what they don't. None of the initial responses I read looked like they had any intent to insult or tell you that you did wrong, they were just trying to provide feedback and give their own opinions. The thing about posting here...you're going to get a lot of feedback and opinions. But that feedback and those opinions are often built on years of very direct experience. So please take that into consideration when reading what others have to say. Sometimes when you're getting a response that doesn't take into account what you're saying...the best thing to do is look to see if your original post iterated everything you wanted to say and if it seems clear. If not, that might be why you're getting reactions that you're not liking or understanding.

Anyway......those thoughts aside...I hope things calm down. And I hope you don't have to deal with the guy who touched you again. Glad you got out of that situation.

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  #32  
Old 10-13-2017, 12:02 PM
Nicki73562 Nicki73562 is offline
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Originally Posted by Chaddersgirl View Post
Did you tell your friend and her hubby that his friend did this too you? Maybe if you let them know, your friend's hubby would do or say something and you can ease your guy's mind a bit knowing that the situation has been addressed. Sorry this happened too you.
She was there when it happened in her house I I got right up and left. It's ok it's done now.
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  #33  
Old 10-13-2017, 12:11 PM
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This is a public forum, people will have opinions and advice that you may or may not want to hear. So long as it does not violate PTO policy, they have the right to post. However, a thread that devolves into bickering and moves away from the original subject will be closed.

So please, back on topic...
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..still he seems overly concerned...I don't know what to do to make it right or have I done all I could? Anyone else going through something like this?
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