Fiance's first time to prison in morgan county, TN. Any advice?

[Daniellemj88]

Hello. I'm new to this website and I needed somewhere to turn for advice from someone who could understand where I'm coming from. My fiance is a first timer to prison and it's really scary. I worry about everything constantly. Like gangs, murders... stuff you see on tv i guess. Other than that I really have no idea what he's really in store for, or me. He has a 4 year sentence, but he's hoping to get into boot camp and get out sooner. He's already served 7 months in knoxville detention center. But this whole thing is just awful and I'm so sad over everything. If anyone has someone in the Morgan County prison who can give me any kind of story that would be great. What are visitations like? I read on the website they are on the weekends, but any other helpful information about it would be good. How are you coping with this time? How long is your family/friend incarcerated?

[rosfriend]

MY OB was at MCCX for a few years.

When I first started writing to him after he was sent to prison I thought the same thing as you, I think...just imagine the TV show 'Lock Up'. But...it's really not like that.

I asked a lot of questions when he was first locked up, and he told me that most of the guys just want to serve their time and get out. They're not looking for trouble to come their way, and not looking to make trouble for anyone else. This, he said, applies especially to the ones who are serving a short sentence. He said few talk about their charges, and don't want to hear about anyone else' charges.

You can visit both days, so long as they don't have too many visitors in a day. If so, they simply ask the first to arrive to leave so that the last to arrive can get in. They will make exceptions for you if you have driven a long way to get there.

The visiting handbook is online at http://www.tn.gov/correction/institu...omulgation.pdf

I would suggest that if you're going to visit you do pay close attention to the dress code as I was told the leave and change at MCCX for having on a shirt that showed my collar bone (that's right, my COLLAR BONE).

You can buy food and drinks while visiting...you will need a $5 bill to purchase a vending card, and then you will need the amount of money that you plan on spending on the vending machines. You cannot purchase the card without a five, so make sure you have one as they won't give you change. I always suggest taking $25.

I hate saying this, but I don't want anyone else to make the same mistake as me...do not take feminine products to the prison. If you need them, you will have to ask the CO that checks you in and you can get them there, but don't bring your own. I had a tampon in my bra and I thought they were going to haul me off to jail for that like I was sneaking something in inside it. So I hope no one else makes that mistake and try to warn everyone about that.

As for it being hard: Well, I didn't know that part of it as my OB and I were only friends for the first three and a half years that he was locked up. We had been together when we were teens, but not as adults.

That being said, it didn't really seem like it was all that hard of a deal to me, except for the aspect of it being hard on him and my sympathy for him.

Once our relationship moved from friends to more than friends it got a whole lot harder for some reason. I guess it's because as friends the whole thing was 'his' problem. Now that we're 'together' it's 'our' problem. I can't completely relate to someone who has been with their man and had them leave to go to prison because that's not my situation.

I'm on the other end of the spectrum, most of the ladies here are waiting for their men to come back home to their lives with them...I'm waiting for mine to get out and start a life with me.

So I'm in a bit of a different boat than most here.

But, I still don't mind helping out where I can. If there's anything else feel free to ask either here, or PM me.

ROS

[Daniellemj88]

Thank you so much for that... I was crying today worrying about him. My sister is also dating a guy in prison (In Georgia), and he was telling her how he seen a guy thrown off the top balcony and people were just walking over his dead body. It scared me to death. And Yes, I was definatly thinking of lock up when he went. I just dont want him to get killed or something like that. He has a 4 year sentence, and has to serve 30%, he's already been in the county jail, 5 months so he will not be in prison very long I hope...
I was told as long as he minds his own business and does not do anything stupid like join a gang or rip anyone off he should be okay... I hope so.
But I really appreciate what you have said. It eases my mind alot. I really can't tell you how worried I am about him.
Thank you for giving me some advice about visitations also. I was planning on just wearing jeans and a tshirt, i'm driving a little over an hour from Knoxville which I guess isn't too bad considering how far some people come.
But thanks again for the reply... Oh i did think of another question if you know, I have an 865 area code #, and i believe morgan county is 423, so do you know of any good phone places to use for calls to not be long distance? Also do you know if the inmates have to use calling cards there as well? Thanks

[rosfriend]

Originally Posted by Daniellemj88

Thank you so much for that... I was crying today worrying about him. My sister is also dating a guy in prison (In Georgia), and he was telling her how he seen a guy thrown off the top balcony and people were just walking over his dead body. It scared me to death. And Yes, I was definatly thinking of lock up when he went. I just dont want him to get killed or something like that. He has a 4 year sentence, and has to serve 30%, he's already been in the county jail, 5 months so he will not be in prison very long I hope...
I was told as long as he minds his own business and does not do anything stupid like join a gang or rip anyone off he should be okay... I hope so.
But I really appreciate what you have said. It eases my mind alot. I really can't tell you how worried I am about him.
Thank you for giving me some advice about visitations also. I was planning on just wearing jeans and a tshirt, i'm driving a little over an hour from Knoxville which I guess isn't too bad considering how far some people come.
But thanks again for the reply... Oh i did think of another question if you know, I have an 865 area code #, and i believe morgan county is 423, so do you know of any good phone places to use for calls to not be long distance? Also do you know if the inmates have to use calling cards there as well? Thanks

MCCX may be in the 423 area code, but it is cheaper calling from the 865 area code. I don't know anything about the cards, I have an account of my own with GTL, and I put money on that account myself. He doesn't use an inmate account.
ROS

[JTJwife]

First.....to keep your phone bills lower....buy a cheap at the local dollar general store. It will have a local number. This is so much cheaper than him calling half way across the state, even with the monthly fee.

When hubby first went to prison, I was so lost. The other half of my world was gone. I took great comfort that I can look around our home and see all the things he brought in and help decorate around here.

Prison is worse than he will tell you. He will not tell you everything. Prison is a violent place. Gangs...well......if he can be left alone by himself he is so much better off. He will have to establish his place in the "pecking order" of the pod he is in. One does not have to be with a gang to get into a jam. Hubby was going to chow one morning and some young punk, thug trying to get into a gang stabbed him in the back. Fortunately for hubby, he is muscular and he was stabbed in the muscle on the side of his back.

Let me see..........last week there was three stabbings where hubby is. He does not know why. It is such a common occurance, he does not blink an eye.

I am not trying to frighten you, but prison is hell on earth. For us and our LO.

Tims wife

[rosfriend]

Tim's wife,

I see what you're saying about things being worse than he will tell her, but my response was based on the experiences of an inmate in annex. Not med or max. Things are very different in annex than in the main prisons. Also, different dependent upon which prison they're at. I have heard some awful bad things about Northwest, and about Brushy when it was still open. And horror stories about the county jails. I've had many friends over the years who were in San Quentin, and that's definitely one place I'd never want to see a loved on go to. So it's all different from place to place.
I also kind of think that it's different from person to person. My OB literally is not scared of anything. He will stand up to anyone, any time, anywhere. He doesn't need to form alliances of any kind because his first little while locked up he stood up to anyone, and made it clear that he was neither a p*ssy or a rat. Earned him a lot of respect, I think.
Not so very long ago he told me that he had some trouble defending a boy who was afraid to take up for himself. But all in all, he says that in the annexes he's been in there is little trouble, they keep their heads down and just try to do their time and get out as quick as possible.
ROS

[Daniellemj88]

Wow... Well thanks for the phone advice, I got it all set up yesterday.i only live an hour and half away so I'm considered extended local so it was cheaper to keep my 865 number. But thanks for all yalls stories (even the bad ones) cuz I know it ain't going to be all wonderful, trust me that's why I worried. But I just found out he has two buddies in there he knew from the streets so he got someone to watch his back. Oh and hes not in med or max... Thanks again