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Old 06-08-2006, 05:48 AM
Fyre Fyre is offline
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Wink He's going to a halfway house, Alabama, I live in NY

Hi everyone,
He and I have known one another for 12 years, and I met him through a spiritual group we both belong to, when he was inside. He's been in for 21 years and is being released to a halfway house in Dec, in Alabama. He's from there originally, and his mom is very ill, and he feels he must be there for her just now. I understand that, because he's been away from her for so long, and due to her poor health, had very few visits with him, his father passed when he was inside.
I love him, and we have been through much, including me dating other people for a period of time, which I felt was something I needed to do. However, I love him, and there is no one like him.
I am going through all these feelings. He says and has always said that he wants us to have a life together, a normal life where we share the day to day things. I want this, too. However, my life is at the moment firmly based in my home state/city of New York. I have a decent job here that it took me awhile to get, I'm completing a degree, and will be able to sit for an exam so I will be able to hopefully earn more wherever I go.
He gets out in December. A part of me feels guilty for not wanting to go down there and set up house for us. However, the practical parto f me is saying to wait and see what happens. I, after all, have a job and place to live here, and a way to support myself, activities and interests. I have also had to have surgery a couple years ago, and at this point, don't want to move til I'm assured there is a good doctor/hospital center I can link up with 'just in case' (I wound up having my mitral valve need repair and had to have heart surgery despite being otherwise very healthy...it was totally unexpected!)
We have been talking, as often as possible. He has never wavered in planning for us, and wanting us to be together. He says his plan is to when he is in the halfway house, to start looking around for a place for us to live, and of course, finding a job. He's an accomplished cook/chef, so I don't believe that will be a problem for him. However, I know that having a 'record' can be hard.
I'm wondering about my feelings, and my anxiety. I have faith and confidence in him, and in us. We have more in common than not. We've been thorugh stuff, and yes, I have visited him, though not for awhile now, with him being in another state.
I am 47, he's 41, so we are both not 'kids'.
Any comforting words of advice, or suggestions?
Thank you to all and all the best to each and every one of you.

Smiles and warmth,
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Old 06-08-2006, 08:37 PM
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Manzanita Manzanita is offline
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what a beautiful touching story this is. I cannot tell you what to do, you should follow your heart I think! I think it will all work itself out. What is meant to be really will be, cliche but true! When you are ready you will know. Don't feel guilty either, Congrats on this! I wish you the best!!
I no longer work for PTO and do not have updated information to share
please go to the NY Forum for help from current staff and members!
Good Luck to you!
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Old 04-12-2007, 02:11 AM
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You sound very level headed and out of the post I have read I have a feeling this one will work. God Bless and be patient.
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