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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 12-23-2009, 09:10 AM
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Default If it was possible to turn back time would you go back to before he went to prison?

Setting here right now remembering how life was prior to the introduction to prison in your life, would you go back to the way it was?

Some men were really sick, some were into crimes and some ran the street and so on. We have a long list here on this site as to why we were dealt the prison card. Some men have grown and changed from the experience while others have not.

Knowing the reason your man is in prison and knowing how he was acting prior to arrest and knowing how he is today would you turn back time if possible and go back to your old life?

I would not. As much as I have hated the entire prison ordeal I hated the way he was prior to prison worse. I would not take back the struggles, spiritual and personal growth that I have been blessed with nor would I change how he has become. Prison has been a life changing event not for the bad over here in these back woods. Although I am faced with having no money at all after the 1st of the yr and still having no job the things I have seen both in him, my self and the Lord have all been worth the ride.
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  #2  
Old 12-23-2009, 10:23 AM
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Good question, My answer would have to be NO because I know that prison has taught him alot, he relizes now whats important to him and whats not important, I mean when he first went back to jail for drugs and his mom bailed him out he did excellent for the 5 months before he got sent to prison, everything was great but I still think this experience has opened his eyes and mine 100%, I only wish he could have gotten a shorter sentence but what can you do at least it's all most over.....
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  #3  
Old 12-23-2009, 10:50 AM
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This is a tough one for me. My man was on the run (not for any new crime, just wasn't reporting for parole for a previous bid). So life was great but also hard at the same time cause he always had to look over his shoulder. So when he finally gor picked up...honestly I was RELIEVED. Cause he has been outt he streets for over 3 years...now when he comes home (jan 2010!) he can live a normal life and not always be with the hat down low so to speak. So no, I don't wish it was like it was before prison. As crazy as this sounds, jail was a good thing. Now he and WE have a new start.
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Old 12-23-2009, 01:24 PM
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I went into our situation with my eyes wide open. He asked me to make sure that this was what I really wanted. I took the time to think about it long and hard and jumped in. I don't regret my decision at all. My life has been full of love even with him gone and we have grown through it all. In my situation, this was a first offense so I wasn't dealing with drama prior to him getting in trouble but our relationship has become emotionally stronger.
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  #5  
Old 12-23-2009, 01:56 PM
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as much as i hate to say this, i would NOT go back to when he was free. he was acting like an idiot and not treating his relationship right. prison has made him grow up so much and im so thankful for that!
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Old 12-23-2009, 03:18 PM
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I would LOVE to go back. He had never been in jail or been involved in crime period and this was a freak thing. The year we were together was the BEST in my life...I can't wait to have it back. I know this is our one and only time through this since it was a fluke to begin with.

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  #7  
Old 12-23-2009, 03:30 PM
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NO! As much fun as we had before he went in, I wouldnt want it to be the way it was.

Before he went in, EVERY other weekend we were partying (well he was every weekend, but whatever)- If he were still out, doing what we did, I KNOW we wouldnt have been together. One of us probably would have ended up dead OR we would have split (we both started getting big heads) >shrugs< - this has brought us closer, we now know what is most important in our lives. I KNOW when he gets out we will NOT end up like we were before. THANK GOD!
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  #8  
Old 12-23-2009, 03:32 PM
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No I wouldn't want to go back since the last 2 years have been awful wondering when he would be arrested again, OD, get killed, everything. Only way is if I knew know what would happen and I could change it before it got so bad.

This nearly destroyed our marriage but now it is only getting stronger and better. He agrees 100% percent with me that prison was the only thing that was going to stop him from destroying himself, us and our family.

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  #9  
Old 12-23-2009, 03:47 PM
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This is a hard one for me, because he was not running around, doing drugs, or acting crazy, before he went in. He was already trying to improve his life and was on the straight and narrow besides not reporting to his probation officer, b/c he had to leave the county to support his child.
This experience HAS made us a lot closer, and alot more open. It definitely opened my eyes as to just exactly how much he means to me, and what a good man i've finally found. If we could go back though, I guess ultimately I would want to, because having him in my life is everything I've ever wanted, and he really did treat me like his queen both before and during prison
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Old 12-23-2009, 05:07 PM
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yes and no. i wish we could go back and relive the year that we had our apartment in arizona. those were the best days of my life.
but i have grown up and learned alot from all of this, and i have a feeling the future will be good
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  #11  
Old 12-23-2009, 06:24 PM
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i would not wanna go back to before he was in prison because he was on the run from a probation violation, so this trip to prison is the only way we could move forward with our life.
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Old 12-23-2009, 09:35 PM
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If it were possible, absolutely! I would give anything to have our lives back.
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Old 12-23-2009, 10:24 PM
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Mine wasn't running the streets, nor was he engaging in any crimes. If I could have kept him out of prison, by all means, yes I would have. Prison didn't do all that much for him except to point out that there is rampant racism in prison, and that he was in fact, wrong for trusting Texas's system of (cough) justice. If he hadn't been so willing to trust his probation officer, and listen to his so called "friend", he wouldn't have done a day inside.
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  #14  
Old 12-23-2009, 10:40 PM
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Oh my GOD this is such a good question.Based on the fact that I've been racking my brain thinking about this ever since the day he got locked up.Truthfully,I don't know if I'd try and change anything because it all seems like this was the best thing for both me and my sweetie,but I also wish that he was here to be apart of our son's first year;but then there's also the thought of.What if he never got locked up and we were still out there doing what we were doing and that had an adverse affect on our child's first milestones?Not to mention our relationship.So part of me says yes,I would have not jumped out of the van.Causing him to go looking for me.Which in return got the police locking him up for something bogus that he didn't even do.The other side says that this was meant to happen.So I truly need to embrace this experience as a blessing from GOD because I was able to take this time and really get my priorities straight and understood how precious life,famiy,working hard and being self-sufficient meant to me.
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Old 12-23-2009, 10:43 PM
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Absolutely! If I had of been there that night this all happened, it wouldnt have happened. He wouldnt have made those same choices and we wouldnt be here where we are now today. Not to say that we havent learnt some valuable lessons from this expierence, coz we have. But he wasnt on drugs or on a bad path when he was out. It was only that ONE night that stuffed everything up so yeah, I'd take it back if I could.
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:24 PM
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I would go back and change some things. I think prison has taught him a lot but we were having a lot of problems before he got arrested and I was talking to a lawyer about getting our marriage anulled. So that is one thing that I would change. It's sad that it took him getting arrested for us to figure out our relationship.
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:30 PM
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No I would not..... We were seperated for about 6months and now it has helped him change and accept me back in his life after seeing all the changes I made in my life and we are hopeing all will finally work out and be back together for good ....and that is after already spending 10yrs together
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Old 12-24-2009, 09:27 PM
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I would say No because now that he is in jail he is starting to see everything he was missing n he is also maturing which is a plus b/c before he was acting like a lil boy!!
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Old 12-24-2009, 09:36 PM
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no. i would rather go thru this whole thing all over again than have things go back to the way they were before. not that they were always bad, but if your boyfriend was on drugs you know what i mean. some days were good, some were bad, & you never knew when something bad would happen. i have a whole new boyfriend now in comparison to how he was before. this changed him so much for the better, & i wouldn't trade it for anything.
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Old 12-25-2009, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiny xo View Post
no. i would rather go thru this whole thing all over again than have things go back to the way they were before. not that they were always bad, but if your boyfriend was on drugs you know what i mean. some days were good, some were bad, & you never knew when something bad would happen. i have a whole new boyfriend now in comparison to how he was before. this changed him so much for the better, & i wouldn't trade it for anything.
oh i know exactly what you mean tiny. i have a husband that was on drugs which is what led me to start this thread. my husband was 2 people trapped in one body a good loving caring gentle husband when clean then demon spawn when high. your rockin n rolling fine having the best day ever then out of no where comes the high man and stole the happiness. i do totally understand what you ment.
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  #21  
Old 12-25-2009, 01:57 PM
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If I could I would. There are sooo many things I wish I would have done differently before he was arrested... If only we could see the big picture huh...
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Old 12-25-2009, 02:29 PM
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i wouldnt my man is finally learning how to love and trust he was hurting a lot before he went in thinking no one cared or that i would leave if any of his past came up(which it did) he would smile at me sadly when i would say i would but i dont think he ever believed me till now even with all this hell ive never seen him so content and happy before he smiles more and he begun to open up and trust me more ... the more days that go by a little bit more of him realies hey... she...s he stil hasent let is this wat real love is like? wow i AM loved she still with me!i wouldnt ever beable to give him up as werid as it sounds a large part of me lives to see him give me that one smile that makes everything turn right in the world this has been stressful but good for our relationship
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Old 12-25-2009, 02:35 PM
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Heck yeah! Turning back time would make me a lot younger!
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Old 12-25-2009, 04:46 PM
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I have thought about this a million times and even though we have both changed and grown over the years, the people we were before weren't worse they were just different. We grew in totally different and yet complimentary ways so we're still great together now, but we always have been. His crime was a terrible case of 'wrong place wrong time' and a one time fluke that has cost both of us 15 years. I would go back to the last time I saw him right before it happened and just tell him for us to stay in that car and just GO and never look back. No matter his mistake, losing 15 years is something I would always take back.
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  #25  
Old 12-25-2009, 04:49 PM
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While I would have liked for him to stay out of trouble, as tempting as this is, I'd have to say no.
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