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  #1  
Old 04-15-2018, 12:59 PM
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Default Relocation: Anyone thinking of moving when their LO comes home?

Anyone thinking of moving when their LO comes home?
I finally talked Chump Chump into San Diego so I can go to San Diego State. He wanted to stay in the Bay Area which is where I am from but I really want to start fresh when he comes home.
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Old 04-15-2018, 01:16 PM
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Anyone thinking of moving when their LO comes home?
I finally talked Chump Chump into San Diego so I can go to San Diego State. He wanted to stay in the Bay Area which is where I am from but I really want to start fresh when he comes home.
If your ChumpChump is on parole you do understand that he just can no up and move and all is good. He will need to ask for a transfer from the bay area county of residence or commitment before he can move. If he has expired all of his time and no parole this matter would be between the two of you to work out.
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Old 04-15-2018, 01:18 PM
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I am well aware and heís not from the Bay Area heís from Bakersfield. It was a general question about where someoneís LO wants to live not about him having to get approved for a transfer. Thanks tho
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Old 04-15-2018, 01:25 PM
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Yes. When my husband and I met, I lived in Oregon. He is from San Bernardino County and returning there would be a bad idea on so many levels. I knew I wanted to move to a warmer climate and taking into consideration he only knows SB, I chose an area that would be new to us both. I bought a home in Arizona, but on the border. It means I can still visit while he's inside, be relatively close while he's doing his halfway house thing and if they don't approve his IC, we'll be able to reside close to one another until he's able to (finally) come home.

But he's been inside 16'ish years, so even going back 'home' would be starting over for him, so the decision to go someplace new was maybe a little easier for him than a short-timer who would be going back to a familiar place.
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Old 04-15-2018, 01:29 PM
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Yes. When my husband and I met, I lived in Oregon. He is from San Bernardino County and returning there would be a bad idea on so many levels. I knew I wanted to move to a warmer climate and taking into consideration he only knows SB, I chose an area that would be new to us both. I bought a home in Arizona, but on the border. It means I can still visit while he's inside, be relatively close while he's doing his halfway house thing and if they don't approve his IC, we'll be able to reside close to one another until he's able to (finally) come home.

But he's been inside 16'ish years, so even going back 'home' would be starting over for him, so the decision to go someplace new was maybe a little easier for him than a short-timer who would be going back to a familiar place.


I hope it works out in your favor. I donít want him going back to Bakersfield. It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I am trying to get everything ready so we can try to get him to San Diego. If not Iíll be a few hours away from him still but fingers crossed 🤞🏽
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Old 04-15-2018, 01:55 PM
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Not immediately, but that is the bigger plan.
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Old 04-15-2018, 04:30 PM
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I am well aware and heís not from the Bay Area heís from Bakersfield. It was a general question about where someoneís LO wants to live not about him having to get approved for a transfer. Thanks tho

Where he wants to live and where he can live is still up to his controlling county. Moving to a new environment is fine, but the person has to make personal changes also if they want to succeed at being free.
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Old 04-15-2018, 04:33 PM
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We are moving to a different state I hope. I'm tired of Michigan. It all depends on what our daughter is doing at that time.
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Old 04-15-2018, 05:55 PM
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Where he wants to live and where he can live is still up to his controlling county. Moving to a new environment is fine, but the person has to make personal changes also if they want to succeed at being free.


Thank you Debbie downer once again that was not the intent of my post
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Old 04-15-2018, 06:13 PM
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We are moving to a different state I hope. I'm tired of Michigan. It all depends on what our daughter is doing at that time.


Where do you have in mind? Some where warm?
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Old 04-15-2018, 07:33 PM
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Love....we wish to move eventually too. No more Indiana and never again Mississippi. We were talking Florida. I want warmer weather but not terribly high cost of living.
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Old 04-15-2018, 07:40 PM
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Thank you Debbie downer once again that was not the intent of my post



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Old 04-15-2018, 07:42 PM
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Love....we wish to move eventually too. No more Indiana and never again Mississippi. We were talking Florida. I want warmer weather but not terribly high cost of living.


Then no California lol the cost is crazy and itís not worth it
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Old 04-15-2018, 07:46 PM
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Where do you have in mind? Some where warm?
We've talked about a few places. Maybe North Carolina but really not sure yet. Definitely not somewhere warm. I hate the heat. But I really don't care where we go as long as I'm with him I'll be happy.
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Old 04-15-2018, 07:47 PM
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Then no California lol the cost is crazy and it’s not worth it
Girl no. I'm scared of Cali just on the laws alone. Lol. We are good. I do wanna visit Cali at least to experience it. If you had to pick a city there where's the prettiest place?
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Old 04-15-2018, 07:50 PM
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Girl no. I'm scared of Cali just on the laws alone. Lol. We are good. I do wanna visit Cali at least to experience it. If you had to pick a city there where's the prettiest place?


San Diego is beautiful. Every time I go I never want to leave
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Old 04-15-2018, 07:53 PM
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San Diego is beautiful. Every time I go I never want to leave
I will look it up. I wonder if SD is multi cultured like Washington DC is. I went out to DC and I enjoyed the diversity.
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Old 04-15-2018, 08:07 PM
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Love....we wish to move eventually too. No more Indiana and never again Mississippi. We were talking Florida. I want warmer weather but not terribly high cost of living.
Florida has a lot of HOAs, which could be a problem when having to be a approved for buying a home. I have looked at many different states to see where we might want to eventually.
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Old 04-15-2018, 08:45 PM
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Florida has a lot of HOAs, which could be a problem when having to be a approved for buying a home. I have looked at many different states to see where we might want to eventually.
What's HOA?
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Old 04-15-2018, 08:46 PM
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What's HOA?
Home owners association.
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Old 04-15-2018, 08:57 PM
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Thank you. Most houses in neighborhoods have that. We would have to get a house outside of one.
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Old 04-15-2018, 09:14 PM
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I will look it up. I wonder if SD is multi cultured like Washington DC is. I went out to DC and I enjoyed the diversity.


Everywhere I have been to in California is multicultural. There are some areas in central Ca that arenít but northern and Southern California are a melting pot of different cultures
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Old 04-16-2018, 03:13 AM
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For either one of us it would mean one has to move to the other one's country...
No discussions yet and I believe he has to come home first before anything is discussed and/or decided.

Since I've lived in the US before I wouldn't really mind doing it again but I have a great job and great salary here which I will not be able to get in North Carolina... That state is so flipping rural (no offense please).
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Old 04-16-2018, 07:08 AM
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LOL this whole thread is funny because honestly until you move you really have no idea how things will be. Florida has turned into a giant cesspool of the scum of the earth!! Some area's are cheaper to live then say NY but not where anyone would want to live. My husband and I had planned on moving to Alabama and starting over here well he died and I moved anyway. Very hard decision to start over when your middle aged, but I who had grown up in a different Florida couldn't afford to live there any more. Where I was from Broward County (FT. Laud.) the average rental for a 1 bdrm apt is $1200. a month that's not even close to the beach!! Average pay for store clerk or receptionist is $8-10. an hour. Public assistance is an average of 5 year waiting list. So before you decide to relocate check out a place very well. See what same charges your loved on has in the new place would be. Florida all felons must register, the laws are extremely narrow minded there and you can end up in a whole new disaster. I knew where I was moving and it brought on so many new challenges that I wasn't prepared for. Thankfully I've gotten thru most with keeping a cool head and just keeping at it until I found a workable doable situation.
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Old 04-16-2018, 07:11 AM
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Not trying to be a *debbie downer* but......if this question was just one of those....If wishes were horses type post then.....
I'd want to be exactly where I am. With hub. Close to where we both grew up, and lived and loved our whole lives.
There are other areas of CA that I'd be interested in at some point but not yet.

Patrick is right however. If he's going to be on supervision he will go where he's told to go. Unless he applies for a transfer of supervision to someplace else, and is approved. Not really being a downer, just keeping it honest.

edit: Florida, NY, and Texas are not on my list at all! lol.
1200 a month? That would get you a closet here.
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