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Remembering Those That Passed While In Prison This forum is for all those - family, friends, spouses, wives, husbands, significant others, brothers, sisters, parents, and children - who lost a loved one or friend while incarcerated.

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Old 05-13-2019, 04:13 AM
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Default He's gone.

I found our abourmt 2am that Mr
B passed away. I know things weren't good, but damn. I wasn't fully ready for this. I now he had been bad for a while but just like that, boom, I'm a widow. No matter what had happened, I loved him. I'm crushed.
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Old 05-13-2019, 04:39 AM
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I'm so so sorry.
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Old 05-13-2019, 04:42 AM
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I'm so so sorry.
Thank you. What do you do when you can't be mad at them anymore, cause they're not here for you to be mad at?
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Old 05-13-2019, 04:46 AM
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Beat a pillow. Scream. Cry. Get it out.

He was a broken man. You could not save him. He loved you and you loved him. You learned from him and him you.

As time goes on the anger will fade, and you will be able to forgive.
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Old 05-13-2019, 04:46 AM
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Originally Posted by IzzyLouWho View Post
I found our abourmt 2am that Mr
B passed away. I know things weren't good, but damn. I wasn't fully ready for this. I now he had been bad for a while but just like that, boom, I'm a widow. No matter what had happened, I loved him. I'm crushed.
Wow... I'm floored. My condolences!
Did you have contact with him since you guys separated? I might've missed some posts but what happened? (I hope I'm not too nosy).
Hugs to you
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Old 05-13-2019, 04:56 AM
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Wow... I'm floored.

Did you have contact with him since you guys separated? I might've missed some posts but what happened? (I hope I'm not too nosy).

Hugs to you
We just talked Friday... The same conversation as ever.. You leftover me for your whore... I didn't leave you for her... I left because you cheated... I cheated because you did.... I never cheated... I cheated because you did... I knew in my bones.... He wanted to make things right. I told him he should have stayed away from whores...

I didn't post all those convos... He was in kidney failure. But would never admit he did anything wrong.
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:03 AM
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We just talked Friday... The same conversation as ever.. You leftover me for your whore... I didn't leave you for her... I left because you cheated... I cheated because you did.... I never cheated... I cheated because you did... I knew in my bones.... He wanted to make things right. I told him he should have stayed away from whores...

I didn't post all those convos... He was in kidney failure. But would never admit he did anything wrong.
Good grief! Sounds uplifting
Still, I'm sorry. For what you had to go through those last years.
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:16 AM
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So very sorry!
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:26 AM
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My heart goes out to you Izzy.

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What do you do when you can't be mad at them anymore, cause they're not here for you to be mad at?
I'm still mad at my Dad at times. I still have "conversations" (out loud) with "him". It helps me to say things out loud instead of keeping them bottled up. I doubt he can hear me now anymore than he could hear what I was saying when he was alive, but it still helps.

You have a lot of unresolved issues between the two of you, with no way to resolve them now. One thing that helps me at times is to ask "If he were still alive, would the issue have had a possibility of being resolved?" Most of the time, the answer is no. And if it couldn't be resolved in life, there's no way it can be resolved now. So I work on accepting that a lack of resolution is sometimes a resolution by itself.

Doesn't make it hurt less, though. Much much support from me.
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:37 AM
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My heart goes out to you Izzy.



I'm still mad at my Dad at times. I still have "conversations" (out loud) with "him". It helps me to say things out loud instead of keeping them bottled up. I doubt he can hear me now anymore than he could hear what I was saying when he was alive, but it still helps.

You have a lot of unresolved issues between the two of you, with no way to resolve them now. One thing that helps me at times is to ask "If he were still alive, would the issue have had a possibility of being resolved?" Most of the time, the answer is no. And if it couldn't be resolved in life, there's no way it can be resolved now. So I work on accepting that a lack of resolution is sometimes a resolution by itself.

Doesn't make it hurt less, though. Much much support from me.
Thanks Ginger. It couldnt be resolve in live... It couldn't be resolved with alcohol. I'm just very sad. There was no happy ending with this. Boyfriends Mom said that I'm going to feel every emotion emaginable... I don't think I have enough Fireball for that...
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Old 05-13-2019, 07:50 AM
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I'm sorry for your loss!! The way that things has been left so incomplete, that should of been complete and wasn't. The what ifs will be there and the thoughts will be there as well. It does get easier as time moves forward! As days become weeks, months and years. But it doesn't fully go away and you'll have your moments from time to time. You'll go through all sorts of emotions during this time. But what you can do is what has been mention to you already. To beat a pillow, scream out loud, talk out load. You get it out however way you must to release what your feeling without holding it in and bottling it up! Grieve and the more you get it out the better you'll slowly start to feel. Just because he's no longer here on this earth physically doesn't mean he isn't here on this earth spiritually. So when your screaming, talking out loud, beating up a pillow/etc. Just know he's there spiritually he's seeing it and listening, the only thing he can't do is respond back to you the way you'll want him to. I'm praying that you'll heal and that you'll be able to get peace in all of this as well. I'm sorry for your loss once again.
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Old 05-13-2019, 08:14 AM
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Again, Im sorry for your loss.
Those unresolved issues will remain that way or at least the only way I see to resolve them lies with you.
Sometimes you just have to let things go. You will probably still be angry for a while, and sad as well. But in the end the only one hurting now is gonna be you.
I hope you are able to heal from all the hurt sooner rather than later.


(((((Izzy))))
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Old 05-13-2019, 09:07 AM
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I'm sorry for your loss.
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Old 05-13-2019, 10:27 AM
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Oh, Izzy. I'm so very sorry. He picked a tough road and you were a good friend and wife to him. My condolences to you and his loved ones.
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Old 05-13-2019, 10:37 AM
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My sincere sympathy.
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Old 05-13-2019, 10:46 AM
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Verry sorry for your loss
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Old 05-13-2019, 10:00 PM
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I'm so sorry he passed away, and that the 2 of you just couldn't resolve your differences



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Old 05-14-2019, 09:52 AM
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Default He's gone.

So sorry to hear he has gone. The sudden nature of his passing has left unanswered questions.

I lost a much loved partner many years ago we didnít get chance to say goodbye either. Whether you were together or not you donít just stop loving someone. You did a lot for him you were a loving wife. Itís time for him to rest and for you to reflect and move on. It will take time the grieving process can be long and painful but you will be ok. Just get as much support as you can.

Take time to care for you.

M x
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Old 05-14-2019, 11:50 AM
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So sorry to hear he has gone. The sudden nature of his passing has left unanswered questions.

I lost a much loved partner many years ago we didnít get chance to say goodbye either. Whether you were together or not you donít just stop loving someone. You did a lot for him you were a loving wife. Itís time for him to rest and for you to reflect and move on. It will take time the grieving process can be long and painful but you will be ok. Just get as much support as you can.

Take time to care for you.

M x
I think he did say goodbye to me... He told me when I talked to him Friday... "listen, you silly woman, you are the only woman I have ever loved, the only woman I love, and the only woman I ever will love." I loved him, but I didn't trust him. I'm having a really hard time with this.
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Old 05-14-2019, 12:11 PM
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Of course you are having a hard time you are in shock and you have lost someone you cared for. It must be very upsetting and painful. Just take it Day by day. Donít be hard on yourself give yourself time to be sad and time to cry.
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Old 05-15-2019, 06:05 AM
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I loved my Dad dearly, didn't trust him as far as I could throw him. He died 5 years ago this September.

I still struggle sometimes (especially on "anniversary" dates like his birthday or Christmas or Father's Day). But it does get easier with time.

Grieving is a process you have to get through, not one you get over or past.
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Old 05-16-2019, 12:24 AM
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So very sorry for your loss
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Old 05-20-2019, 02:18 PM
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I'm very sorry! I lost a love while we were odds also. Heartbreaking to say the least. Hugs!
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Old 05-21-2019, 02:40 AM
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It wasn't a prison relationship, but I am a widow from a less than stellar relationship too. I'm here to listen, or to try to advise, whatever you wish. Just send me a PM. I get it.
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