I'm crying and feeling so sorry for my widdle self that I'm eating forbidden chocolate and the worst part of all is that I let myself start listening to sad fn songs.
Don't do that!
The more the numbers go down on my ticker, the farther away it feels.
I'm tired of being the only grown-up in the house!
The cats are fantastic and I love them! But they refuse to take their turns cooking or cleaning. They pretty much expect me to do it all for them! I'm sick of doing literally everything by myself.
They won't even chip in so we can get pizza! Some roommates they are.
Here I am, crying and giving myself the headache from hell, snot running all over the damn place and do they come sit by me? Purrrr for me? Give me a little 'we wuv oo" nudge? No. It scares the boogers out of them when I make weird noises so they're hiding. Thanks guys! Just the kind of emotional support I need right now. I'll remember this next time you're stuck on top of the cabinet in the middle of the night and you meeeeew for me to wake up and save you! [true story]
YOU'RE A CAT! You jumped UP, FFS JUMP DOWN!
I can't even remember the last time that someone came by and randomly gave ME a treat for no good reason other than the fact I'm cute. Nobody comes and massages my head, neck, belly or toes! NO! Kneading on my breasts does not count! Especially when I'm sound asleep and you forget to keep your claws pulled IN.
Where was I? Oh yeah.
I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.
And if you think for one single solitary second, that I'm going to let BOTH of you climb into bed with me tonight and snuggle??
You're absolutely right.
Now I have to go find large quantities of tylenol and kleenex.
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I remember when my dog would annoy the crap out of me by bringing me her toys at the least convenient time (frantically typing a term paper, cleaning out a closet, crying on the floor because it was all just too much...). I wondered how she could have had such terrible timing after knowing me, and my moods, for more than 10 years. Then I would remember this meme that showed a dog with a thought bubble that said "It makes him happy to throw this ball and have me bring it back, I'll bring him the ball" and my little heart would melt.