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Mitch67 · #26 03-13-2010, 02:14 AM

I would definitely not take my mans last name. Professionally I would want to keep my last name because I am who I am in my business and I have a reputation that could be lost if I go messing with my name. Personally I would want to keep my last name because as someone else wrote that name is mine and I have no intention of just giving it up.

I am a Christian but it isn't a commandment to change my name at marriage so I am cool with not doing it!

timswife4ever · #27 03-13-2010, 10:09 PM

I totally agree with you 100%.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gotta wait

I see now days where women are getting married and not changing their name to his or hypheating their name as Mary Jones-Smith. Whats that about???
My simple opinion is that the bible teaches us that we leave our families to cling to our husbands, basically to become one. When you take your husband to be his wife you take him name too. You are his wife. Thats one of the privigles of becoming his wife.
I don't beleive it is about ownership,,,I beleive it is just ingrained in a man for his wife to have his last name to signify Mr. and Mrs. _________ .

"(He) shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” That's I'm talking about!!!!
Genesis sets the stage for God’s recognition of joining man and woman as one person through the covenant of marriage. In Christian wedding ceremonies, this leaving and cleaving is represented by the unity candle. On the alter are three candles. Two on the outside are lit before the ceremony and the center is left dark. Upon their vows the bride and groom blow out the side candles representing their families. This signifies they are leaving their parents to form a new union represented by the single candle, (one body, one flesh) in the center. Together they light this. When he cleaves (merges with her and brings her unto him) as his wife they become one. To God, the couple is a new being, sacred and beyond separation by anyone but Him. The book of Genesis demonstrates God’s intention that woman is an extension of the man, (his better half some say) created for him. He is not complete until he joins (cleaves) with her. The marriage covenant between man, woman and God solidifies this. The shared last name honors this oneness.

HesMyForever · #28 03-13-2010, 10:15 PM

In Islam, technically we should not change our names because we are not our husband's property; we are our own individuals. The custom of changing the woman's last name stemmed from a time when women were considered their husband's property.

With that said, I plan on changing my name anyways, to his because my last name is that of a step-father that I don't even remember (my mom divorced him when I was a year old), so it has no relevance to me.

mkc'swife · #29 03-15-2010, 02:37 AM

ME PERSONALLY i COULDN'T SEE MYSELF NOT TAKING HIS LAST NAME....THERE IS NO QUESTION ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT I'M TAKING HIS LAST NAME

or-mtwt · #30 03-15-2010, 08:44 AM

I took his last name as I took my ex husband's last name.. I did not want my maiden name back as I had only used it 17 years any way and I was not about to keep the ex's last name after remarrying.

I am paying for it with the new laws for getting a drivers license that discriminates against women as we must have our Birth Cert' along with marriage/divorce to show who we are with another long list of things that I have to have when Men only have to come up with the BC, SS card and two bills/state forms showing where they live.

LovingURM · #31 04-02-2010, 05:11 AM

Im probably going to just hyphenate my last name with his, I'm not all traditional like that :P

Snowbaby62 · #32 04-02-2010, 07:19 AM

We're getting married on April 15th and I will wait to change my last name for a while, then I will hyphenate because I have a young son and it helps with the confusion of different names.

godislove52 · #33 04-02-2010, 07:30 AM

i have been married for 6 years. i still use my maiden name for almost everything. i have said as soon as my husband gets out of that dreadful MDOC and we renew our vows, then i will take his last name. i will not use a hypen either. at the time it just seemed like i wanted to keep my maiden name. but things have a way of changing.........

Nicholas'ladyy · #34 08-25-2012, 01:44 PM

I will take his last name and replace my middle name with my last name.

DJzGirl · #35 12-21-2012, 07:21 PM

This is a fascinating question to me. I assume most of us answering are Americans. But when you look at the world, I think it is more common NOT to take his last name. In many cultures, the women keep their name. I am Muslim. I agree that the orgincal reason for taking his name is bc you belonged to your father and then to your husband. And as mentioned about, in Islam, a wife belongs to herself and her identity does not change. I have lived overseas and the norm in many countries is that the mother has a different last name. i had a friend who was Japanese and Muslim. In Islam the child takes the father's last name and the mother keeps hers. In Japan the child takes the mother's last name, not the dad's. She had a very hard time in Japan getting her kid's passports bc they had their father's last name. Ppl told her your kids will be laughed at and looked upon as strange. It's all relative I guess. In the Middle East where I lived for 10 years, the women always kept their name and the iddea of changing it is strange. Why would I change my name, just bc I am married? is the thinking. Lineage is a big thing there and so if you change your name, your lineage can be lost. it is said the Arab can trace the lineage of a camel back hundreds of years bc they r very big on keeping family lines. lol. As America becomes more diverse, we are seeing different trends. And I think it's great bc this is America. I have no problem with women changing or not changing their name. I just think it is nice when we try to understand the why's of this issue. Alo it is very common for women to get married and then divorced and remarried. SO u might see someone with 2 last names bc one is her ex-husbands and her new husbands. I personally wil hyphenate my maiden name and my fiance's. I want to keep my dad's name AND i want to have my husband's. But I also have 5 kids with my ex. SO it will be confusing. Up until recently I was using my maiden hyphen ex-husband's. So that my kids and I had the same last name. My fiance wants me to have his and is fine with me having mine and is. So yes, all that being said, to each her own. lol.

notyourordinary · #36 12-21-2012, 07:31 PM

Here in spain everyone has two last names, it's a bit confusing to explain, but you get one from your mother and one from your father. When you get married you loose your mothers last name, keep your fathers and gain your husbands (if you want). I'll probably take my husbands if the paper work is easy enough.

DJzGirl · #37 12-21-2012, 07:37 PM

Yes! I love that tradition and think it's very cool. I have a friend who is Mary Smith de Jones. I think that is soo cool. lol. Nice to have a wider world view on the issue.

notyourordinary · #38 12-21-2012, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJzGirl

Yes! I love that tradition and think it's very cool. I have a friend who is Mary Smith de Jones. I think that is soo cool. lol. Nice to have a wider world view on the issue.

I like it, it's a happy balance you keep your maiden name and take your husbands. Only problem with it is the maternal line always looses out. But I guess you can't have everything

.

afirsttimer · #39 12-21-2012, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorraine

Why does it matter what my last name is? We are no more or less married if I take his name or keep my own.

I believed that too until mine asked me to marry him. He asked if I would change my name and I said no, I would hyphenate it due to my profession. He was against it and I didn't understand until he explained his reasoning to me. He said how can we share a marriage if we can't even share a last name? I thought about it for a while and he was right. That was the only thing he asked for in our marriage and when we did it I gave it to him because it was that important to him.

The down side of it is it is a bitch changing it. We have been married for 2 1/2 months and I am still changing things.

The up side is it is very convenient having the same last name. When we were on our honeymoon it made things very difficult for us having two different last names. I had to be there for everything because all the reservations and things were in my maiden name.

I actually love having his last name now but I would never admit it to him because I put up such a fuss in the beginning