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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: Would you let your MWI move in with you?
No. Not immediately. 9 28.13%
Yes. We've been together for awhile! 17 53.13%
Yes. But after a few weeks living separate. 2 6.25%
Yes but after a few months living separate. 4 12.50%
Voters: 32. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 08-21-2018, 09:06 AM
MurMur MurMur is offline
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Default Would you let your MWI move in with you?

I was wondering if anyone had experience with having your MWI move in with you or just wait awhile after their released to be able to adjust to your life and their life outside.
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  #2  
Old 08-21-2018, 09:11 AM
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Mine has been in for so long that I want him to make that decision once that option becomes real and I will not expect anything.
Depending on his (parole-)conditions or whatever he might face with regards to restrictions, he has to stay with is family first anyway. But I don't expect to move in with him right away, I'll be visiting and see where we stand once he's released. As I stated a lot already, I'm not sitting on packed boxes.
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  #3  
Old 08-21-2018, 09:44 AM
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He has been locked for so long I'd be worried if he lived alone. He so out of technology and all, I'd like to help him so he can focus on his job and all. So I'd prefer him to live with me.
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  #4  
Old 08-21-2018, 09:50 AM
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Im with the Miz on this one.

I feel like this. He's been in too long and Im not equipped to handle the transition he will go through all by myself. Of course I will be to him what I am now when he comes out.

We talk about this often. I know he needs to enter a halfway house. He believes he doesn't need it. However.. As time gets close to release he now realizes he needs help from those that been in his place and have stayed out of prison. I can't be his everything out here. He has to learn how to crawl then walk on his own.

He knows I will always have his back. And that's comforting to him while going through civilianship

To answer your question Mur. No.. We will wait to move in together. We both want to take it slow

Last edited by BearsLadyBear; 08-21-2018 at 09:54 AM..
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  #5  
Old 08-22-2018, 07:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirin View Post
He has been locked for so long I'd be worried if he lived alone.

He so out of technology and all,


I'd like to help him so he can focus on his job and all. So I'd prefer him to live with me.
aw chica, that's sweet of u love this one.... Kirin... That's nice. I agree to this and i know it has worked for some. ( for me, i know 1 personally who it still is working for a close friend of mine) so i would say (all depends though) a few weeks "out on his own first/and or a couple months et.al.,) but time will tell if i am thinking the same, when he is out, both of us will learn soon enough... or if he has to do time, through plea bargain til' at least end of march/end of winter 201. or get out this year we hope. time will tell... i think this way, LIFE es chica so short too and we know NONE of us are promised a tomorrow, so live your best life, with who you're clearly connected to/loving/wanting/desiring/serious with, committed to and if you're COMFORTABLE with such living arrangement/if it's what you're truly wanting do it...Life is so short for some, and be happy and careful, and enjoy...

Adios... hugs blessings to u tonight, chica, kirin. have yourself a great night chica.adios.
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 08-22-2018 at 07:24 PM..
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Old 08-22-2018, 11:43 PM
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We did move in together about two months after he released. We never met while he was in prison we met the day he got out. He went to a half way house so we could date and her to know each other. I also wanted to see how much motivation he had towards making a life out here first for himself and second with me. I still have a teenage boy in the home and that was a lot to consider too. He works and goes to school and I work as well. We have lived together since December and just recently opened a joint account to save for goals we have together. It’s like any relationship no matter where you meet just take it all slow and watch for the warning signs.
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  #7  
Old 08-26-2018, 07:08 PM
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My love will be home in 2 days and will be moving w.me. Nothing to elaborate on, we.ve been together 5 years and have discussed almost everything under the sun in that time.
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Old 08-27-2018, 06:14 AM
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My MWI wants us to move in together and I'll be honest I'm nervous about it but it's not cause of prison, I've just never lived with someone I was in a romantic relationship with so it's going to be a big change and will take some adjusting. He has basically spent the last decade incarcerated (was in federal for 4 years then out for 1 and has been back in federal since August 2013) so I know he is nervous too, it will be a major transition for the both of us. I've never spent a day with this man outside of prison walls so I know in many ways I do not know him and we need to meet each other on the outside.
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Old 08-27-2018, 07:13 AM
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It's definitely your personal decision but I'd let him not come live with you right away... give him time - give yourself time to adjust to him. Being MWIs is not the same as being in a relationship on the outside. Try it out first, it's your right and you should do that and not commit right away.
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Old 05-12-2019, 11:32 AM
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Had plenty of conversations about living together and planning. He's planning to move to my state to live with me. It's not happening right after he's released..since he'll do his paroling in his state. Which during that time it give us the opportunity to grow on the outside (as we did during incarceration) with our relationship. Also for the both of us to adjust and for him to adjust back into freedom/society. I'm planning to do some traveling to be there with him and help him transition.
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lolo21216 View Post
My MWI wants us to move in together and I'll be honest I'm nervous about it but it's not cause of prison, I've just never lived with someone I was in a romantic relationship with so it's going to be a big change and will take some adjusting. He has basically spent the last decade incarcerated (was in federal for 4 years then out for 1 and has been back in federal since August 2013) so I know he is nervous too, it will be a major transition for the both of us. I've never spent a day with this man outside of prison walls so I know in many ways I do not know him and we need to meet each other on the outside.
oh wow I forgot writing this! Well my MWI is home now and we do NOT live together and it has been a good decision. We are dating and taking it slow getting to know each other in the real world. There is a lot of unknown in this transition and we are waiting at least a year before making any major decisions such as living together. He has a lot to work on and so do I, individually and as a couple. Right now living together wouldn't be good for us but we hope one day it will be!
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Old 05-13-2019, 08:38 AM
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My MWI is hoping to be home in the early or mid part of next year unless her modification works and she can modify out in december ish.....I've told her that I wanted her to move in with me just b/c we've been talking for so long visit, talk, email regularly etc. But she says shes not sure...and I just worry that if shes not living with me in a stable condition that she'll end up relapsing or going back ;(
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:39 AM
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Quote:
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My MWI is hoping to be home in the early or mid part of next year unless her modification works and she can modify out in december ish.....I've told her that I wanted her to move in with me just b/c we've been talking for so long visit, talk, email regularly etc. But she says shes not sure...and I just worry that if shes not living with me in a stable condition that she'll end up relapsing or going back ;(
I understand you want to offer her a stable place to start over but I would think it would benefit her more if she learned to stand on her own two feet, creating a sober life for herself without it having to be dependent on another person and their home? You can still support her and be in a relationship with her while she's building her sober self independently and finding a new, healthy lifestyle with your help...right? I would think the best possible scenario for her would be if she had her own place which would remain a constant regardless of her relationship status, a safe home base if you will....but of course that's just my view I hope it all works out the best way possible
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Old 05-14-2019, 08:16 AM
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I understand you want to offer her a stable place to start over but I would think it would benefit her more if she learned to stand on her own two feet, creating a sober life for herself without it having to be dependent on another person and their home? You can still support her and be in a relationship with her while she's building her sober self independently and finding a new, healthy lifestyle with your help...right? I would think the best possible scenario for her would be if she had her own place which would remain a constant regardless of her relationship status, a safe home base if you will....but of course that's just my view I hope it all works out the best way possible
I agree with that perspective...I guess thats just the fear in me for her to be elsewhere and end up in trouble again or using again But you very well may be right Sarianna thank you for that advice, I'll definitely take it under advisement....we still have at least 6months if not more before we have to even beging to think about that in definite so we'll communicate about it and see where we want to go as the time comes. I def appreciate the outside perspective tho!
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Old 08-19-2019, 12:06 PM
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8 years ago, we both would have said yes with no hesitation. I've been estranged and lots has changed in both of our lives - which is a mix of gold and shit, but we are exactly where we're meant to be and right on time.

No way would he move in with me now after doing 20 years, he's got so much to learn and do out here, it would not be fair for him to do it under a home we share. Sucks, we're married, I want him, all of him, but I know he needs his freedom, which includes me stepping aside.
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Old 08-19-2019, 07:04 PM
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No. He wants to but I told him he needs to get his life together himself first. I will of course be there for him but I think it's important for him to be able to figure out his life before we live together.
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