Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > LGBTQ+ People in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

LGBTQ+ People in Prison For anyone that has a same sex partner, family member, friend or Pen Pal in prison that is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Pansexual, or Omnisexual

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 06-27-2020, 05:46 PM
spouseof spouseof is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: FL, USA
Posts: 2
Thanks: 8
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Cool LGBT Wife of an Inmate

What if you had a wife who went to prison and you found out she had a prison family and possibly had sex even oral. Is this because of the stress of prison and losing everything or a true cheating situation? Trying to be fair and understanding ...
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to spouseof For This Useful Post:
WaitingWilkes (07-03-2020)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 06-27-2020, 05:57 PM
Girl22472 Girl22472 is offline
Moderator
 

Join Date: May 2018
Location: Indiana
Posts: 866
Thanks: 656
Thanked 916 Times in 465 Posts
Default

Only you can decide it if's a "true" cheating situation. Your feelings about it matter and the communication between the two of you discussing it is the only thing that can resolve it.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Girl22472 For This Useful Post:
maytayah (06-28-2020), She'sMyAngel (06-28-2020), spouseof (06-28-2020)
  #3  
Old 06-27-2020, 09:54 PM
She'sMyAngel She'sMyAngel is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 184
Thanks: 600
Thanked 180 Times in 83 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl22472 View Post
Only you can decide it if's a "true" cheating situation. Your feelings about it matter and the communication between the two of you discussing it is the only thing that can resolve it.
This, absolutely. Also, it may be worth considering that it's very common (in my experience) for women in prison to have 'family' groups. Often there is also a maternal/sisterly bond, companionship and group protection.

The sexual component is something that you will need to discuss and come to your own conclusions on. But please don't feel you are alone in this, there are many here who will connect with your experience. Good luck.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to She'sMyAngel For This Useful Post:
maytayah (06-28-2020), patchouli (06-28-2020), spouseof (06-28-2020), WaitingWilkes (07-03-2020)
  #4  
Old 07-02-2020, 02:44 PM
spouseof spouseof is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: FL, USA
Posts: 2
Thanks: 8
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by She'sMyAngel View Post
This, absolutely. Also, it may be worth considering that it's very common (in my experience) for women in prison to have 'family' groups. Often there is also a maternal/sisterly bond, companionship and group protection.

The sexual component is something that you will need to discuss and come to your own conclusions on. But please don't feel you are alone in this, there are many here who will connect with your experience. Good luck.

I hate to sound snobbish and sanctimonious but we are both from families that are so far right it often made us both insane. I can't even believe she could do this to us, and that sex was so more important to her than loyalty. I was on the outside and was loyal, she is true boy butch and said she was harassed every day by 1400 women all flashing her and saying sexual stuff that she could never be loyal. I was not in the same situation, but I had the freedom to be with someone in a romantic situation and I didn't.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-02-2020, 03:05 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
Site Moderator
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 30,568
Thanks: 49,478
Thanked 23,844 Times in 13,686 Posts
Default

Life is full of opportunities to "stray", so prison isn't unique. She decided to cheat, and is attempting to justify her actions to both you and her. It isn't that much different than if you had decided to be with someone else rather than saying no.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to fbopnomore For This Useful Post:
She'sMyAngel (07-02-2020), spouseof (07-02-2020)
  #6  
Old 07-02-2020, 03:25 PM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Panama City, Panama
Posts: 4,566
Thanks: 4,649
Thanked 5,362 Times in 2,218 Posts
Default

I'm pretty stupid when it comes to prison life and things "they do" but as a girlfriend of a prisoner I think I would not be happy in a situation like this. I have heard about "gay for the stay" but this is a not enough explanation/excuse for me. That's just me though... I understand everyone has their needs and stuff... so do you I guess... but prison is not a "joker" to do what you want.
Maybe it's something they "need" to do to be "accepted" but I'd be pissed to be honest.
Having someone you love (and even married to) going to prison and then behaving like that would be a double-betrayel in my book.
But that's just me... I don't know the dynamics of your relationship and what you might have discussed beforehand but I would not like that and probably get out of that kind of relationship.
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to MizzyMuffling For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (07-02-2020), safran (07-02-2020), She'sMyAngel (07-04-2020), spouseof (07-02-2020), Taliba00 (07-06-2020)
  #7  
Old 07-02-2020, 04:05 PM
Born's Avatar
Born Born is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: N/A
Posts: 720
Thanks: 375
Thanked 542 Times in 345 Posts
Default

Personally, i would second what Mizzy said. A marriage or relationship breaker for me would be the cheating spouse kind. That's one thing that i would not tolerate nor subject myself to, nor would i do it to someone else.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Born For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (07-02-2020), She'sMyAngel (07-02-2020), spouseof (07-02-2020), Taliba00 (07-06-2020)
  #8  
Old 07-02-2020, 11:18 PM
She'sMyAngel She'sMyAngel is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 184
Thanks: 600
Thanked 180 Times in 83 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born View Post
Personally, i would second what Mizzy said. A marriage or relationship breaker for me would be the cheating spouse kind. That's one thing that i would not tolerate nor subject myself to, nor would i do it to someone else.
Absolutely. For the record OP, I'm a soft butch and my partner is femme - I don't actually think makes a difference at all in how we treat the people we love. For my partner and I activity outside our relationship is a dealbreaker. I was just making the point that in a womens prison 'family' has many different connotations. You'll find this topic a not so unusual at PTO, the Husbands and Boyfriends forum is chock with excellent advice that's just as relevant. Best of luck
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to She'sMyAngel For This Useful Post:
spouseof (07-05-2020)
  #9  
Old 07-04-2020, 01:50 PM
NewAttitude's Avatar
NewAttitude NewAttitude is offline
Formerly Mike'sbabyboy
 

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: New Jersy
Posts: 1,675
Thanks: 2,076
Thanked 1,254 Times in 675 Posts
Default

I know things happen in jail. I trust my guy no matter where we are. Our relationship us built on trust, respect and honesty. If someone is gonna cheat, either in prison or out in the streets...they won't tell. Not saying it's ok to cheat in any way. I just know I would not be able to deal with knowing that. Since this pandemic and being in a state that's been on serios lock down, I get the need to have social contact. I've been her all by myself. I wanted to socialize too but having sex with someone else was never a thought. It may be a bit different because we are guys. But I don't think so....����
__________________

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to NewAttitude For This Useful Post:
spouseof (07-05-2020)
  #10  
Old 07-04-2020, 09:24 PM
Visitor611 Visitor611 is offline
Until the end
 

Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Oregon
Posts: 302
Thanks: 233
Thanked 527 Times in 210 Posts
Default

One of these days, people will stop giving excuses for shit behavior. Cheating is a sign of a weakness and a clear indication your relationship is going into the tubes of ruin. There is... limited choices in prison. If they cheat on the inside, and you buy excuses of prison or loneliness or lack of physical contact, bet the farm you'll be a fifth wheel when they come home.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Visitor611 For This Useful Post:
MizzyMuffling (07-05-2020), spouseof (07-05-2020), Taliba00 (07-06-2020)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
An inmate says the administration at Stafford Creek is LGBT friendly Minor activist Washington General Prison Talk, News, Introductions & Chit Chat 2 12-23-2016 01:14 PM
LGBT in Ireland - I am crying Macushla PTO Lounge 6 05-28-2015 05:45 AM
BOP to include LGBT Reps for diversity Zelda50 Federal System News, Events and Legal Issues 0 05-04-2012 10:46 AM
Some basic facts about being LGBT in prison tranniegurl LGBTQ+ People in Prison 6 09-05-2006 12:47 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:09 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2019 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics