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  #1  
Old 09-28-2010, 03:22 PM
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Default How should my grandson deal with Homosexual advances?

OK Ladys, I need some input. My grandson said this homesexul man will not leave him alone he is dealing with him and it sounds like its been going own for a few days. He is a big strong Guy my grandson- He can bench press 450 lbs. I told him to tell him there was plenty out there who would give it up! To leave you alone or you will file harassment charges! yea right!!
Anyway i could use some words of wisdom to get him off him Told him I would ask you all! He don't want a confrontation but the Guy want leave him alone, hes trying to push his button and he don't no who he fooling with! My grandson will clean his plow, royally. His strength is unbelievable.
So come own What would you tell your son? To do?
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Old 09-28-2010, 04:08 PM
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Bo, I would tell him to file a sexual harrassment case. I hear they take these things very seriously. I would rather he let "them" handle it themselves than he. He will get an assult case and go in the hole. Tell him to do it TODAY!!!!

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Old 09-28-2010, 04:43 PM
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If this happens one little bit more have him file for a move away from this guy.They will listen .They really hate sexual harrassment.Some people go gay for the stay.But they do it willingly.I'm sorry this is happening.
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Old 09-28-2010, 05:25 PM
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I would definitely tell him to report it. Here is the applicable Alabama statute. As a victim he is entitled to be moved away from this person to a place with an equal amount of freedom as what he currently has (so he won't have to go to the hole to get away from this guy). If he retaliates he will most certainly end up in trouble but, by reporting the problem, he would most certainly be less likely to get in trouble for defendin himself.

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Old 09-28-2010, 05:41 PM
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He is in a Federal in Ga. I told him to file a grievance. Does the same thing apply
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Old 09-28-2010, 06:09 PM
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I just sent him a email I hope he reads his mail before lock down at 10--its 8 there. I told him what all of you said and that he does not have to take this to file a grievance. I don't no how long this has been going on. My grandson want take much. I told him to let the counselor no about this. Don't take it on his self if the Man is not going to leave him alone. Then talk.to authority's. I read the Alabama site you put up nktpt. Thanks My grandson picture is in my profile. He bigger than the picture as its 3 yrs old.
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Old 09-28-2010, 08:38 PM
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Well I saw his picture and one thing is certain: whoever is harrassing this gentleman in a prison environment is going to end up on the wrong side of something. Being a city boy I'm amused by the expression that your grandson will, "clean his plow, royally." But it's very impressive that your grandson is communicating with his grandmom about this instead of just plowing over the individual who is starting trouble with him. And his restraint is admirable too!
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Old 09-28-2010, 08:52 PM
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aba, I had to laugh, That is and old saying from way back--in the early 50's still holds true today!! When 2 men get in a fight 1 is going to get a butt whipping for city boys. ahhhum, his plow cleaned!! That a good ole butt whipping. He is taking care of it the right way. You heard that old saying Don't mess with Texas? Don't mess with Granny!
Thanks for the compliment. He a good young man.
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Old 09-28-2010, 09:35 PM
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Bo's grandson is a nice looking young man. I'm sure he'd be quite attractive to some of the homosexual men he's in prison with, whether they've always been homosexual or developed those tendencies since being in prison. There's alot of that going on in the prisons too. Some men just can't "go without" and will often look to the young, virile looking inmates for someone to fulfill their needs in the absence of their women.
Those guys just looking for a substitute, if you will, are more likely to go after another guy who doesn't appear to be "gay" because they aren't really looking for a relationship, just the sex.
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Old 09-28-2010, 09:49 PM
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I invite you to reconsider your position. While I don't know the OP's grandson I know these types of situations occur. Maybe because of the type of advances inmate "X" is given to the OP's grandson her grandson has labeled him as being a homosexual? It's not a farfetched thought consdering one man is making sexual advances to another.

At any rate I had a male relative who is homosexual experience a similiar situation while serving a prison sentence. Just because my relative was a homosexual male didn't mean he should have been harrassed for sex by anyone in the prison. Sexual harrassment, rape, and other acts that fall in line with it are often not about sex but about power, rage, and control. This is why the person making the advances or demands will forsake others who are more than willing and go after anyone else. They want what they want, when they want it, and who they want it from. Using your logic, why would a rapist choose to rape a woman when there are scores of women who will have sex for free? The grandson's resistance is more than likely a turn on and if the situation is not rectified quickly the end result will not be a favorable one, possibly for either of the parties.

Last edited by Momma Ann; 09-30-2010 at 02:33 PM.. Reason: quote from deleted unsupportive post
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Old 09-28-2010, 10:00 PM
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To the OP, when my relative was confronted with this situation while serving time in a GA state facility I applied the following tactics in order to prevent the situation from escalating into rape and submission.

I had my relative recall dates, times, and places when he was being approached by said perpetrator. I even asked him to recall the exchanges (words you may not want to hear but it's important nevertheless). I then composed a letter once I got off the phone with him. Upon the next call I read the letter to him and had him insert any corrections or additional items he may have forgotten. Once I had the facts and details together in the letter, I forwarded a copy by fax and mail to the warden of the prison. I didn't stop there as I got on the phone and contacted the GA Dept. of Corrections and inquired as to whom I should speak with in order to report the situation and have an expedited resolution. I left no stone unturned as I called field offices, the headquarters downtown and the prison.

Believe me when I tell you that within 48 hours the warden of the prison called me and informed me that he had my relative in his office. I was placed on speaker so I could hear both the warden and my relative. The warden thanked me for informing him and providing written and clear details. He assured me that the perpetrator was being transferred within 48 hours and until that time he was on lock-down, never to have contact with my relative again. After this conversation I attended the next visiting session in order to show my face and let them know I meant business.

I was so passionate about this because the relative was my brother and I was not about to allow him to be taken advantage of. No way, no how! Get on the horn, write letters, and demand this behavior stops immediately. They will listen but you have to make them. I think the FEDS will listen as well. All-in-all they don't like this type of behavior.
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Old 09-29-2010, 08:42 AM
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Thank you Hope, nktpt, Diane, sleepless, aba.
For ajap I am glad you don't no my grandson! This shit happens whether your gay or straight! You no that! I no of one young man (My neighbor son) Who was not a homesexual, went to a state prison and was held down by 5 men and raped by all. This is not a far out story. Its real sad and a Dam shame.
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Old 09-29-2010, 08:55 AM
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I'd tell to defend himself!!! Because as your right this can and does happen all the time. Its a reality that some would love to deny. Sorry I think if he doesn't stand up to this person it will continue.
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Old 09-29-2010, 09:10 AM
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Hope & Love, I agree with you that this isn't a matter of labeling or something that should raise our dear Flipper Flopper's suspicions. These things happen inside and out. There are also times some CO's take advantage of their power and ability to offer things to buy the favors they want. What we are looking at, is someone harrassing another in a way that could prove deadly. I write an inmate who is serving life for killing his cellmate over this. After continued complaints the prison seperated the two but later put them back in the same cell. One advance too many and the pen pal snapped. Rape is rape and harrassment is harrassment regardless of gender or sexual preference. Neither has anything to do with availability or risking wrath of others, but more about control. rage and power, just as Hope & Love said.
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Old 09-29-2010, 09:51 AM
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if he is under any type of harrassment(straight, gay, gang, racial) he should report it. If he has made it clear he is not interested, then he should file a grievance.

I am glad to see this thread has not degenerated into gay-bashing, which of course, we do not allow on PTO.
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Old 09-29-2010, 10:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma Ann View Post
if he is under any type of harrassment(straight, gay, gang, racial) he should report it. If he has made it clear he is not interested, then he should file a grievance.

I am glad to see this thread has not degenerated into gay-bashing, which of course, we do not allow on PTO.

You are dealing with mature adults who always act as such Momma Ann. Thanks for noticing!
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Old 09-29-2010, 10:12 AM
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I don't know what to tell him to do bo but I know my son has been beat down without sexual advances and it is damn scary. My thoughts are with both of you today because I think we all understand the stress when we feel our loved one is in danger. (HUGS) bumble
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Old 09-29-2010, 10:43 AM
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Yep My side his side and the truth! Its been took care of. In a very Mature way by a Man who is not a threat to anyone! Unless hes put to the test. But first he will handle it threw channels. When some people say NO Thy me No. Love you all.
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Old 09-29-2010, 10:56 AM
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Having problems posting today.

I'm not sure I'm getting the point ajap. Why are we remiss in not being too worried about the other side of the story? If someone is feeling harrassed why should we be so suspicious of them and zero in on what's going on in the other person's mind? What are you knowledgeable about that those of us who seem nieve to you don't know? I'm trying to understand.
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Old 09-29-2010, 12:42 PM
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I would'nt mess with your grandson...I saw his picture...But I woulod hate to see him get in any trouble for taking action himself...I guess just doing a grievance and taking notes on the situation would be good.
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Old 09-29-2010, 01:46 PM
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Bo, here's the policy for FBOP: http://www.bop.gov/DataSource/execute/dsPolicyLoc then go to policy # 5324.06. I couldn't figure out how to copy the direct link to you but this will get you there.
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Old 09-30-2010, 10:24 PM
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I hope your grandson is safe and not having to go through this day in and day out with this sexual harassment. I will be praying for him, hugs.
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