My son was denied AGAIN

[xanthra]

BIG hugs to you Jose's mom!!!!! Chocolate is my drug of choice as well. Seven years? No wonder you are frustrated. My son is in 2 of a 12 and I am hoping for parole next summer....guess that is wishful thinking.

I can so relate to you. We punish ourselves by overeating or stuff our feelings by doing that. We are stronger than that and need to eat healthy. We can do this together.

[chelle104]

Originally Posted by Jose's mom

I don't even know where to begin, only to say that I'm trying really hard to understand. I know that a lot of you have been through the same pain I'm feeling but I just don't understand. What more do they want?? The day after mother's day, I finally heard from my son (he always sends a card) to say he had been moved. Last year when he got his Associates Degree he put in a request to transfer to the University in Houston, it had been on a roller ride, first he was told no, then he was told yes you will be moved in a week so have your bag packed & then about two months ago was told no "you won't be moving because there is no grant money". So that was that, we thought well maybe your going to be paroled this time and it would be a waste of money for them if they moved you. So here we are Monday, HIM: they brought me paperwork explaining how "loan money" would pay for me to continue my education & how I would need to pay it back once I was released. I asked about my pending parole decision and I was told they would let me know where ever I was. ME: My gut told me they all ready knew he was denied but I didn't say anything to him. I called Houston and as they have done before so non-chalant, I was told he was denied. I send him a JPay because I wanted to be the one to let him know before he got the actual paperwork which he still doesn't have as of today. It has taken week for me to post this & in the process I have put on another 5 pounds. I know I can't afford to put on ANY more weight but I just feel so helpless. I mean what the heck are we/he suppose to do? To add to the injury he is now 5 hours away & I'm 12 miles short for the "special visit" The light note would be that he now has a TV that he shares with his cellie & he was very happy about that. He does not know when he will start class only that some of the men have been on the list for months. So not only did he get moved with the presumption that he would start the summer semester he now has had to start all over in this unit. With that said, he has worked hard over the course of the last 7 years to make sure he never had any cases & went from working as a porter to the commissary store and had been working in the infirmary for over a year & now he is in the fields (I know he is strong & healthy) thank God for that but I just don't get it. I had managed to walk/jog a mile for the first time in years and kept telling myself "this is it"! But when I called & found out he was denied again I went numb. Even with the unwelcome news & reverting to my poor eating habits for comfort I know I can't continue this path. I've gained 60 pounds in less than 8 years and it has to stop. I just can't keep turning to food for comfort, it doesn't work!! To be honest for a long time I have convinced myself that because I started my life so early it was OK to gain a few pounds after all I can look back on my pictures and be happy that I never struggled with my weight before this life changing experience? But 10 pounds has become 60 & even though I know how I got here I'm having a hard time getting out. I keep thinking I'm stronger than this food addiction but another day goes by with poor eating & no exercise. I had decided not turn away from this site in my darkest hour because I have to hold myself accountable but when it came down to it there I was again eating till I can't fit anything else in my mouth. I know I/him have been truly blessed in so many ways but at this moment it hurts so bad I just feel sick & this time around food is not helping the pain. There just has to be something else I can do. Will all my tears and pain I truly thank you so much for reading and ALL your support

I'm so sorry for all you're going through! I truly am! My son will be going up for parole in January 2013. For his early release date of July 2013. I am scared for him! I too have put on weight since he went to Prison. He is in Michigan at the Central Michigan Correctional Facility. I want him home so bad it tares me apart. I didn't even think, that maybe I put the weight on because of him being in Prison. But it makes sense, now that you said that. I have never been a foody, but yes, food brings me much comfort at this time! Let's email each other and help each other through this. What do you think the chances are for my Son to get out at his first hearing? Hugs to you! Chelle104

[Jose's mom]

Originally Posted by chelle104

I'm so sorry for all you're going through! I truly am! My son will be going up for parole in January 2013. For his early release date of July 2013. I am scared for him! I too have put on weight since he went to Prison. He is in Michigan at the Central Michigan Correctional Facility. I want him home so bad it tares me apart. I didn't even think, that maybe I put the weight on because of him being in Prison. But it makes sense, now that you said that. I have never been a foody, but yes, food brings me much comfort at this time! Let's email each other and help each other through this. What do you think the chances are for my Son to get out at his first hearing? Hugs to you! Chelle104

Thank you for your kind words! I took this one really hard, we were so this was it and when we were shut down it was so hard. I cried and ate and cried and ate until I was sick. I had to really shake myself off and tie up my boot straps and decide food was not more powerful than me.

I can't tell you what his chances are with out knowing what he went in for and what kind of past he had before he went in. Also each state is different. When you get a chance if you haven't visit the prison/parole forum it may help you. I really didn't get any one who could tell me anything I didn't already know but it may be different in your case.

Feel free to message me with your info and I'll be glad to keep in touch with you via email or even phone. We can pull each other up! Please take care of yourself!!

[Jose's mom]

Originally Posted by chelle104

I'm so sorry for all you're going through! I truly am! My son will be going up for parole in January 2013. For his early release date of July 2013. I am scared for him! I too have put on weight since he went to Prison. He is in Michigan at the Central Michigan Correctional Facility. I want him home so bad it tares me apart. I didn't even think, that maybe I put the weight on because of him being in Prison. But it makes sense, now that you said that. I have never been a foody, but yes, food brings me much comfort at this time! Let's email each other and help each other through this. What do you think the chances are for my Son to get out at his first hearing? Hugs to you! Chelle104

Thank you soo much for your kind words! Yes, I took this one really hard, I cried and ate and cried and ate again and again. I had to pull myself out and decide that food was not stronger than me. I have always been a strong women but these repeted let down's have put a knew spin on things.

I really can't tell you what his chances are without knowing what he went in for and what his record was prior to going in. When you get a chance visit the parole/probation forum and see if it can help you. I couldn't get any one who could tell me any more than what I ready knew but it may different for you.

I would love to connect with you so please feel free to message me so we can keep each other up either by email or even by phone!

Take good care of yourself!!

Barb

[KamisSister]

We got an denial this week too. One year offset. That is one hard email to write. Kami did the same thing was doing well at another unit working inside, in a faith dorm then got moved, and sent right back to the fields. Now the denial. They had her scheduled for the changes class so she was sure it would be a yes too.

[kevinmom]

Wow! Congrats to you that your son earned a degree while there! Such an awesome blessing! That's great your son looks at all the little things to be grateful for. Yeah I know it is so hard. I'm sorry he was denied again. Lots of hugs and prayers to you and your family.