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Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in Prison For anyone that has a same sex partner, family member, friend or Pen Pal in prison that is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered.

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Old 04-07-2019, 07:24 AM
LyricTHEGREAT LyricTHEGREAT is offline
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Default What to do .. girlfriend sentenced

I found this site by accident but I'm happy I did. I am 25 years old and my girlfriend is 19 years old. She was just sentenced to 15 years in prison. I don't really know how much time she will actually do before she's eligible to come home.(do you guys have any idea? 4 maybe?) I've always beat my trials so ive never been to prison. We are both very attractive people and we've had lil trust issues in the past. We already have issues and she's only just got sentenced 5 days ago. I told her that I was talking to a new girl. I'm very honest with her. She says that speaks volumes about my character blah blah blah ect. . I know that she's a very attractive girl and she's been with ppl before she was sentenced to prison. She was in the parish awaiting trial for a year already and fucked bitches. I'm in love with her and want to marry her and I know she feels the same. How do I go about all of this? We are young and a bit extra lol. I take care of her I just feel we will grow apart IDKY.. this is very hard for me... how do I reassure her that I'm loyal or can i... just someone give advice
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Old 04-07-2019, 08:26 AM
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Welcome to Prison Talk. Be sure to check the Louisiana prison forum to try to find out how much of her 15 year sentence she will have to serve.
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=145

and here is a link to the DOC's frequently asked questions
https://doc.louisiana.gov/frequently-asked-questions
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Old 04-07-2019, 08:33 AM
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Hi welcome to PTO. I am sorry to hear that your girlfriend is serving a long sentence. I am not sure how long she will serve but its sounds like it will be a substantial amount of time.

You have a lot of thinking to do, will you support her as a friend or as a partner.If you stay as partners can you be faithful for such a long period of time considering you are so young.

Would an open relationship work for you both? What if you want a family?

the important thing is to be honest and not to make promises you cant keep. Take it one day at a time.

Good luck to you both.
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Old 04-09-2019, 11:15 AM
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There's a lot of youth at play here.


Honestly, given that it sounds like she's getting her's where she can and you're talking to people, for this thing to survive I think you're both going to have to be on the same page about extracurriculars, so to speak.


Ultimately only you know what's best for you, but I guess what I'd be worried about here is on two fronts.


1.) Youth. I'm going to emphasize it. Youth youth youth youth youth. I know at 25 you feel a lot more mature and love is hot and passionate and all that. But I know at 37, I'm not into what I was into at 25. At 28, I was into Dee. At 37, I look at my 28 year old self and just kind of shake my head and go "dude....you missed all the red flags." I'm not discouraging your relationship. I am asking you to bear in mind that life changes, and it's going to change in the 15 years (assuming max-out) that she'll be down. Even if your estimate of 4 is right, it's going to change. (I don't know what the current situation is with Louisiana sentencing law, I just know I watched that reality show about Angola and was left with the impression that guys get 30 years for looking at someone wrong in Louisiana...which is probably nowhere near the truth, but damn, it felt that way.) Just...there's a maturing process within all of us, love changes, and oftentimes what we want changes.


2.) You stated you "beat all your trials." I had a chuckle. Congratulations. I'm in no way judging either one of you, but this is what I do know...when you have two people who are both involved in criminal activity, often times that's a recipe for long-term disaster. My ex-, from what I'm learning, dates nothing but drug dealers and identity thieves right now. How do you think that's working out for her at age 38? I'll give you a hint: her family talks to me. They don't talk to her. And on the rare occasions where her and I are getting along and maintain a friendship (long story) the story I get from her is "yeah, that was a mistake...."


So....I'm not discouraging you from doing the time. I will say if you do the time with her, you're going to need to develop patience and thick skin not just in terms of dealing with her but with dealing with the Department of Corrections and their rules and restrictions.


Also, make sure that in the context of your own life that you're focusing on you. She's doing time. Don't let that stop you from elements of your life that have nothing to do with sex, romance and relationships. Go to school. Get a degree. Or do some sort of vocational training. Pick up hobbies. I'm not just saying this to lecture, I'm saying this because you'll go stir-crazy just waiting. When Dee was in, the easiest two years of the five? Those were the two years when I was working on an MBA. Because I was constantly busy, constantly focused on things that were improving my life and not on her stress.


You've got a long road ahead of you, you've got odds stacked against you, and it sounds like you're both headed, realistically, for this to be an "open relationship." I have no idea if substance use/abuse is involved for either of you, but if it is, that's going to make things even harder.


I wish you luck with whatever you choose. If you do decide to stick this ride out with her, I hope it goes well. I just hope that you're looking at this from all angles and not just from the standpoint of you're both hot and young and feeling "in love" now (again, not my place to judge if love is real or not. Please understand, at 37, I've lived a good amount of life and been in love a few times. It's different at 37 than it was at 25 and definitely different than it was at 19.)


-Eric
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