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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #51  
Old 12-26-2005, 03:33 PM
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sorry your going through this but your not alone !!
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  #52  
Old 12-26-2005, 07:55 PM
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I am so sorry but everything happens for a reason.....God has a plan for you!!
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  #53  
Old 01-31-2006, 07:11 PM
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hey all, I just want to let everyone know that I am hanging in there. He has been coming around alot as if trying to rekindle. I can't trust him right now. The woman he is with lives with him and his sister. So yes, he was cheating while inside. I have just gotten to the point where I am not crying day in and out so I am doing okay. It is definitely getting better. Thanks for all the kind words, support and prayers. I really needed it. I appreciate you all. Thanks again.
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  #54  
Old 01-31-2006, 07:31 PM
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Sweetie,
Just make sure you look after yourself first! You are number one!

Maybe all isn't well with the other lady and he is realising that the grass isn't always greener and all that....

Just put yourself first and keep your heart well guarded until you are sure that it is safe to give it to someone.

Rach xx
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  #55  
Old 01-31-2006, 11:45 PM
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I just cannot believe that he would do this to you, but that's okay it will never work out for him. You cannot bite the hand that feeds you and expect anything good to come from it. You will survive because you are a strong woman. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  #56  
Old 02-01-2006, 02:10 PM
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I don't know I think you are so much stronger than I am. Did you two get married inside or did you get married out here? Either way, I think he's a really evil man to sit there and make you do time with him for 10 years and then come home not even tell you and then tell you to sign papers. I think I would've truly murdered him. I think I'd be doing life or even getting the death penalty if that ever happened to me. I'm sorry ma. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
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  #57  
Old 03-28-2006, 08:04 PM
preciousjewel preciousjewel is offline
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Thank you all so much. Yeah their relationship is not working. He said it was "just something to do" since he knew he wanted "his freedom" and knew he couldn't do that with me. I am doing a lot better. He tries to come over here all the time and wants a key to my house. He said he doesn't want me to be with anyone that he wants me to be patient with him. I wouldnt trust him. I hate what he done to me and the kids. Thanks again for all of the support.
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  #58  
Old 03-28-2006, 08:17 PM
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You keep staying strong sister and try and steer clear of him so you don't get weak and end up falling in bed with him. I did that game with an ex before and it just hurt worse the next time he dogged me. I can't believe this joker played all these games and with your heart like that. We are here for you and feel your pain for sure.
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  #59  
Old 03-28-2006, 08:53 PM
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I am also very sorry to hear this, but I do have a question for you babe. WHY?
Does the sister play a role in this or has something or anything has happend for him act this way? what a shame and I am really sorry and hope you are probley better off.
Good luck to you! Jeannie
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  #60  
Old 03-28-2006, 09:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciousjewel
You all remember the thread that it has been over for almost three months. I hate what he is doing to our family.
Preciousjewel,

I have not read the "thread that it has been over for almost 3 months." However, if I were you I would NOT sign any papers he presents to you. I would recieve these so-called papers from him, but not sign them until YOUR attorney has looked them over thoroughly and added an addendum to them that looks out for you and your family's best interest. Don't make it easy for him!! Especially after he has been so callous in his action against you and your family. I have two words for you . . . ALIMONY AND CHILD SUPPORT. I know you are probably hurt by his actions right now, but just remember those 2 words (in blue above) while you might be shedding a tear or two, dry your eyes and take back your power he seems to be playing with. He is playing games with your heart, mind, spirit and the well-being of your family. Now that's something I would get really mad about and check into MY LEGAL OPTIONS in the matter.

Take care and remember TO PUT YOU FIRST, along with your family.

Jala
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Last edited by Jala; 03-28-2006 at 09:26 PM..
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  #61  
Old 04-10-2006, 08:41 PM
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Thanks Jala and all that posted. I am still very angry at him. He has been doing things that he has never done. I just found out that he hit the other female and that is something he has never done before. He is also doing a lot of drinking. I think he is back out there. Oh well, that is no concern of mine. Our divorce will be final on the 15th. This is hard. He actually went through with it. He has been trippin and coming over here saying he don't want me with no one and that he just wants me to be patient with him. He throws a few I love yous and I miss yous etc. He has gotten buckwild. Anyway, I am doing ok - this week and last week were realllllll tough as he actually went to court. He lied to me about the court date and lied in the papers to get the divorce - plus he was sneaky in the fact that he gave a wrong address for me with all of this so I wouldn't get the paperwork. I only found out because I called the courthouse and they told me. I will find out what I need to do to deal with that. Thanks for all the support guys, I love you all. I really appreciate it and need it right now.
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  #62  
Old 04-10-2006, 08:44 PM
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Be careful if he is drinking and getting violent okay!!!
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  #63  
Old 04-11-2006, 05:59 AM
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From reading your most recent post it seems to me that in his state of mind and condition, he does not care about anyone but HIMSELF. It sounds like he has a lot of issues he needs to deal with for HIMSELF. And it seems to me that any one in his life right now is going to feel the brunt of him not facing himself first, and then deciding to get the help it sounds to me that he needs. I understand that it's hard to move on from a man that you love. But right now, it seems to me that is the most healthest decision you can make and do for YOURSELF. Abusers only know how the abuse, but that is not your fault. They need help. Don't let him take HIS mess out on you or your family. You and your family deserve better. You might find that the more you focus on you and your family's well being, the more he will fade out of the picture. Preciousjewel, don't enable him to stay unhealthy with you and your family. Take care of you and your family FIRST. I have faith that you will be just fine and I've learned that there is always sunny days ahead, after one goes through, but survives the storm.

Jala
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Last edited by Jala; 04-11-2006 at 06:01 AM..
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  #64  
Old 06-12-2006, 05:21 PM
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Thanks Jala, that was very much appreciated as all of the replies were. Yeah I am just now cutting communication with him. It is difficult because of the amount of time we have been together. He thinks I am doing this because of a man but that is so not true. I don't even entertain his accusations anymore. He gets angry when he thinks I am with someone (I can't understand that when he is with someone) but nevertheless I am moving on with my life. I moved to MD for him. I am relocating to the FL area so if any of you guys are there please send me a message. We will need all the friends we can get at the time we move. Love you all.
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  #65  
Old 06-25-2006, 07:45 PM
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Good luck sweetheart
You are in my prayers and thougts.
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  #66  
Old 08-25-2006, 08:44 PM
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Update: Thanks all. I moved to FL!!! I love it here. It was difficult to leave because of all the history but I know it was the right decision for me and my family. My ex got remarried and kept blowing up my phone on his honeymoon (he didn't know that I know that he is married). He still tries to keep in contact and tell me that he loves me and wants me. I don't entertain his conversation anymore. It's over. It hurts but I am finally deciding to let him go. He feels like I am still and always will be his wife and his property. Yeah right! He doesn't want to let me go but he has to because I won't let him keep me as a cushion anymore. I am doing better. Thanks everyone. I am now doing somethings for me. I thank God for the beginning of the healing of all the things he put me through. I love you guys! I will stay in touch. Be blessed.
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  #67  
Old 08-25-2006, 10:26 PM
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Wow! {I'm speechless} It's good to read you're doing well.
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  #68  
Old 08-26-2006, 08:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciousjewel
Update: Thanks all. I moved to FL!!! I love it here. It was difficult to leave because of all the history but I know it was the right decision for me and my family. My ex got remarried and kept blowing up my phone on his honeymoon (he didn't know that I know that he is married). He still tries to keep in contact and tell me that he loves me and wants me. I don't entertain his conversation anymore. It's over. It hurts but I am finally deciding to let him go. He feels like I am still and always will be his wife and his property. Yeah right! He doesn't want to let me go but he has to because I won't let him keep me as a cushion anymore. I am doing better. Thanks everyone. I am now doing somethings for me. I thank God for the beginning of the healing of all the things he put me through. I love you guys! I will stay in touch. Be blessed.
Good for you preciousjewel and your family! Yes it may hurt for a while but time and determination heals all. Yes, God is good and (I feel) the healing process for you and your family is going to be just fine. I wish you strength, love, happiness and peace of mind in God's grace. Take good care of you and your family and keep on doing SOMETHINGS FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

Jala
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  #69  
Old 08-26-2006, 11:50 AM
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Preciousjewel-
How are your children adjusting? I am glad to read you are doing well. Enjoy your new territory (or is this where you are originally from before relocating to Maryland) and new beginnings. You have had quite an experience, but God has carried you. He will continue to be that constant in your life FOR ALWAYS. Good luck to you and your family.
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  #70  
Old 08-26-2006, 01:37 PM
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im also would feel the same way u do if my man did this and we were married but seeing i am single now i dont have this problem but i do wish u the very best and wish u luck in his change of ways!! Keep us posted!!
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  #71  
Old 08-26-2006, 01:47 PM
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glad this had a happy ending !! a new beginning for you and the kid's !!
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  #72  
Old 08-26-2006, 03:19 PM
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Hi precious. I'm new here and new to your story, but I did go back and read it all. First, I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that. Second, I'm glad you're getting past it. Third, I'm so proud of you for continuing your relationship with God. So many times we allow the enemy to ruin our relationship with him. Keep up the good work and I will add you to my prayers.
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  #73  
Old 08-26-2006, 04:02 PM
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F__k Him Girl!
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  #74  
Old 08-26-2006, 06:40 PM
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god bless you and your family i am sure it was very hard and hurtful the letting go process i am happy for you that your healing within and i wish you a life of love and happiness,you have a fresh new begining,letting go can be a very hard thing to do,never look back the only thing a bad man can do is keep a good one away!your ex seems very confused just look at how hes treating the one hes with now sneaking behind her back calling you all on their honeymoon,says alot about the person he is,you deserve the best and never settle for anything less than that!
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  #75  
Old 08-26-2006, 07:23 PM
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awwww...thanks everyone! You made a sista get all teary eyed! It is nice to see and have all of this support. Yes it is still very painful because I never thought it would be me/us. We always had a good relationship even until the end. Lorna, the children are adjusting well. It is still very painful for them also. We are all going through a process but I know we will be just fine very soon. I love Miami. I have had some guys ask me out but I haven't gone anywhere. It is difficult just to get up and go out with someone after a history with someone else for so long. Plus it is not fair to get started with someone else when I haven't even fully gotten the pain of the other out of my system yet. This week has been a tough week. I am not sure why. I felt a lot of anger like when we first split. I appreciate you all looking out for me and giving me words of encouragement. I come on here sometimes. I needed the extra support this week. I felt a lot of anger and hurt this week. Thanks again you all.
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