Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Parents with Children in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Parents with Children in Prison For the parents of prisoners

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-24-2008, 07:23 AM
sherry d sherry d is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: lakewood ohio
Posts: 2
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
Unhappy please help- Son and daughter both incarcerated

hey i need some help dealing with my son and daughter being in a federal prison .my son has been in for 10 months and my daughter for 3 months .does it get any easier ? i feel like im dying from a broken heart thay moved my daughter 800 miles away and my son 400 hundred so i dont get to see them alot .i feel like im in mourning even though i know they are still alive this is horrible . i would really like someone to tell me how to make it easier if anyone knows how .thank you so much
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sherry d For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 04-24-2008, 07:29 AM
mojaveeamazon's Avatar
mojaveeamazon mojaveeamazon is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: south australia
Posts: 88
Thanks: 5
Thanked 43 Times in 28 Posts
Default

Hi Sherry
All I can recommend is to make friends on here, and talk to the people here what i've seen and read they really care and many have loved ones who are also locked away. Secondly write letters and send cards you'll feel better knowing your family is getting your love through mail and cards, very important. Wishing you all the best Amazon
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to mojaveeamazon For This Useful Post:
sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #3  
Old 04-24-2008, 08:40 AM
1_Georgia_Peach's Avatar
1_Georgia_Peach 1_Georgia_Peach is offline
Josh's Mom
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lilburn Georgia
Posts: 104
Thanks: 5
Thanked 67 Times in 20 Posts
Default

Sherry D, I'm so sorry for the ordeal you are going through. I lost my oldest son in '99' due to an accident and my youngest son has been incarcerated since '98'. I too felt the same way, as if they had BOTH died. It took me about 2 years to get through the rough spot and I even went to visit with a counselor for about 6 months that helped me tremendously. My advice is to focus on the positive things and be supportive of your children. I know it is hard to focus on the positive when there is so much negative to the situation at hand. The folks here at PTO are a great bunch and can help you to feel better at times, just knowing there are other people out there in your shoes. Good Luck!
__________________
Peach



Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to 1_Georgia_Peach For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #4  
Old 04-24-2008, 08:54 AM
Leenie46's Avatar
Leenie46 Leenie46 is offline
Never giving up
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 654
Thanks: 576
Thanked 1,128 Times in 350 Posts
Default

Sherry - welcome to PTO - you have come to the right place for compassion, understanding, loads of help and fellowship.

I know the distance from your children has to be hard. My son is only 2 hours away but I still cant go as often as I would like.

Write them as much as you can and maybe check into cheap but good phone services like vonage or similar services so you can talk with your children. After two years of paying around $9 a call, I have switched to vonage and prepaid CBS. My calls are now down to 2.12 a call. I know phone bills are just another added expense, it worth it to me to hear that voice.

This site to me is a god-send. I really dont think I would of have made if it wasnt for everyone here. I am drawn to the computer at all hours just to seek the love and companionship that is freely given here.

I hope to see you often on here and send my prayers to you so you can have some peace with what is happening with your children.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Leenie46 For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #5  
Old 04-24-2008, 09:29 AM
MotherJ's Avatar
MotherJ MotherJ is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Shennandoah Valley, VA USA
Posts: 2,680
Thanks: 6,877
Thanked 8,449 Times in 2,182 Posts
Default

Dear Sherry, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. There isn't any easy way to get through this. My 19 year old son is serving a 43 year sentence. I didn't think I could survive the grief much less find happiness living with that. Each person has to find what works best for them. First, I prayed and would recite Psalms 23 to try to keep the negative thoughts and pictures out of my head. I saw my doctor and was prescribed medication for depression. I don't suggest this, but if you can't function for extended periods of time it might help. G. Peach is right in suggesting you focus on positive things. Make yourself get out and do something that brings some enjoyment to you. Most importantly, don't feel guilty about enjoying yourself. It is important to your kids for you to be strong and healthy. My son had such guilt over how his mistakes had ruined my life. Once I let him know that I was determined to help myself he felt so much better. PTO has made the greatest difference in my life. Here I found such understanding and support. I have become much stronger by being supported and encouraged through my bad times. These parents can be very goofy at times and give me such laughs and raise my spirits. There is also a weath of information to be gained. We are a nonjudgemental family here and will give you a safe, warm place to find your way. God bless you and your children.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MotherJ For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #6  
Old 04-24-2008, 10:55 AM
jancy's Avatar
jancy jancy is offline
Bars cannot keep out God
 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 8,223
Thanks: 9,158
Thanked 22,970 Times in 6,338 Posts
Default

sherry
hi with a hug!
it has to hurt to have your dreams smashed like that. I hate knowing other people have their kids over for sunday dinner and take trips together and I am stuck with Tony in prison. ugh.

but it is his life. he chose the actions he took to get him there. Not me.

sad as it is, I remove myself from responsibility for him. I do write once or twice a month now, and send him 20 a month, that is all. He calls me weekly and I pay for that and allow him to call more if his son is with me.

we cannot live their sentence. we deserve to live and breathe too. after all, we were good parents and would have done anything to prevent this.
be good to yourself. do what you can for your kids, not what you cant.

stick around and read up and you will feel less alone.
__________________
God bless us every one


Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jancy For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #7  
Old 04-24-2008, 11:37 AM
jeffsue1999's Avatar
jeffsue1999 jeffsue1999 is offline
Danielsmom
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,780
Thanks: 922
Thanked 1,011 Times in 471 Posts
Default

Sherry I am so sorry you have to go through having to children in prison. I know that it helps to stay busy also this website is a great help. I find this parents website is the best for me. Since my son is now a registered sex offender I tried the LASO site, but found the parents site much more comforting and postive. Not to offend anyone, but mothers are mother no matter what the crime of our children so no offense to the LASO site I am just a mother first and above all else. My son did ask that if my and my parents could alternate days of mailing that way he gets some mail everyday. Although I think that now that he is at his facility things will move along quicker. This may sound crazy but I figure with the economy the way it is if he has to mess up and be locked up might as well be now. So I hope that you find your nitch and what makes you comfortable to survive this crisis. Oh I take an antidepressant and that helps me alot. My family was very concerned about me going off and getting my self into trouble because I was so angry. So I am doing good, not in jail, still mad, but not willing to screw up my life over it.
__________________
He is my son, I will always love him and will never turn my back on him.

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jeffsue1999 For This Useful Post:
flymom (04-25-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #8  
Old 04-24-2008, 12:30 PM
judean07's Avatar
judean07 judean07 is offline
“Just know that I am here
 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: California
Posts: 1,921
Thanks: 6,821
Thanked 4,434 Times in 1,268 Posts
Default

I am so sorry for your pain. We are all in the same boat, so we have each other to type to and support each other. If not for this site I would of went over the edge. It has been the best. There are days that all I do is sit here and read posts. No one knows how it feels unless they have walked in my shoes and the ladies here have. On the days when i can't do it any more I start typing and on the days that I feel like I will be ok I start typing to help others. That has been the very best thing for me is to help others and by doing that it has helped me more than I ever thought possible.
So just keep coming back and join us. Give it to GOD and to your new friends and we will all get thought this together.
__________________




"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." ~ Margaret Mead ~
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to judean07 For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #9  
Old 04-24-2008, 12:50 PM
d'gal d'gal is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Yavapai County, AZ
Posts: 6,235
Thanks: 349
Thanked 121 Times in 33 Posts
Default

sherry hello and welcome. I am so sorry for your pain. and to have both kids in prison and far from you. I know it is hard for you, especially in the beginning. but though it doesn't necessarily get better it does get easier. all of us here know and understand what you are going thru and we are here for you. we offer you listening ears, support, prayer.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to d'gal For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #10  
Old 04-24-2008, 03:21 PM
wendy tyler's Avatar
wendy tyler wendy tyler is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: QUERETARO, MEXICO
Posts: 3,807
Thanks: 11,238
Thanked 5,986 Times in 2,051 Posts
Default

Welcome Sherrie, it does get easier with the help of friends here. There are those that have gone before us and guide the way.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to wendy tyler For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #11  
Old 04-24-2008, 03:29 PM
perque's Avatar
perque perque is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Washington USA
Posts: 758
Thanks: 137
Thanked 622 Times in 264 Posts
Default

sherry
__________________
"Ask a question and you're a fool for three minutes; do not ask a question and you're a fool for the rest of your life."
-Chinese Proverb
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to perque For This Useful Post:
sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #12  
Old 04-24-2008, 03:32 PM
reggie42 reggie42 is offline
Account Closed
 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: One Nation~Under God~AMEN
Posts: 6,458
Thanks: 8,008
Thanked 7,103 Times in 2,851 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sherry d View Post
hey i need some help dealing with my son and daughter being in a federal prison .my son has been in for 10 months and my daughter for 3 months .does it get any easier ? i feel like im dying from a broken heart thay moved my daughter 800 miles away and my son 400 hundred so i dont get to see them alot .i feel like im in mourning even though i know they are still alive this is horrible . i would really like someone to tell me how to make it easier if anyone knows how .thank you so much
Hi Sherry, I am so sorry we have to meet like this. And very sorry you are going through this. It really is mourning, you are grieving a loss, even though they are alive, it is still a loss. I know it hurts so much. My son is in TX and I live in GA so I understand about the distance. Makes it even worse. I can't say it ever does get easier or better. Honestly speaking, I grieve as much as I did when he first went in. Some days are however less emotional than others, so I guess in a way, some days are easier to deal with. Write them often, it will make you feel better and it will lift their spirits as well. Know that the Lord is taking care of them, and He will give you all the strength to get through this. Take it one day at a time, and if that's too much, then one minute at a time. Know we are here for you to lean on, and to listen. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-24-2008, 03:53 PM
Judeca's Avatar
Judeca Judeca is offline
2008Tea Party-CA Co-Chair
 

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 3,257
Thanks: 3,396
Thanked 2,531 Times in 797 Posts
Default

Hi Sherry, I know what you're saying when you feel as if you are in mourning. It's never easy, but it will get easier. You picked a great place when you came to PTO, you'll find nothing but support here, it's been a life saver for all of us.
__________________
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run
over if you just sit there....
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Judeca For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #14  
Old 04-24-2008, 03:54 PM
dobbs13669 dobbs13669 is offline
diane
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: ogdensburg ny
Posts: 48
Thanks: 2
Thanked 73 Times in 17 Posts
Default

sherrie, welcome to pto, I have two sons in prison, and sometimes I feel like my heart is getting ripped from my chest, The girls here helped me alot, sometimes I just read the posts its good to know that there are other people that feel the same way I do, and they do know. I usually cry when i read there posts and thats good for me to. I write to my boys everyother day. and I go see them as offten as I can. I went to the doctor last week and got on a antidepressent. and just go thru day knowing that my boys are safe, abut I miss them so much. sorry i can't give you any better advice.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to dobbs13669 For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008), wendy tyler (04-24-2008)
  #15  
Old 04-24-2008, 03:56 PM
BlessTheInmates's Avatar
BlessTheInmates BlessTheInmates is offline
Miss us?
 

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: usa
Posts: 3,607
Thanks: 1,801
Thanked 2,705 Times in 1,131 Posts
Default

Welcome Sherry. Everybody has written such wonderful words here for you. Remember to save this as your favorite place when you're feeling you need some of the best friends imaginable.

Love and Blessings to You and Your Kids and your Family.
__________________
Quote:
Stop by to say Hi!
Don't Stretch the Mama!
member of the rubber band mama club
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BlessTheInmates For This Useful Post:
sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #16  
Old 04-24-2008, 05:16 PM
tigrldy tigrldy is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Indianapolis IN
Posts: 2,729
Thanks: 3
Thanked 1,062 Times in 512 Posts
Default

Sherry, this is a grieving process. I think we've all given into those tears. For awhile I didn't want to go anywhere in case I missed a phone call. I was lucky that I was never as far away as you are so visiting was easier. It is true what they say about time being a great healer. It never gets easy, but it does get easier and you learn to embrace the small things and not take them for granted.

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tigrldy For This Useful Post:
MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #17  
Old 04-24-2008, 05:32 PM
wendy tyler's Avatar
wendy tyler wendy tyler is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: QUERETARO, MEXICO
Posts: 3,807
Thanks: 11,238
Thanked 5,986 Times in 2,051 Posts
Default

Just wondering if Sherrie was feeling at home yet. We are all there Sherrie!
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to wendy tyler For This Useful Post:
sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #18  
Old 04-24-2008, 08:47 PM
Judeca's Avatar
Judeca Judeca is offline
2008Tea Party-CA Co-Chair
 

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 3,257
Thanks: 3,396
Thanked 2,531 Times in 797 Posts
Default

dobbs13669 - I am so sorry. Most of us are dealing with one child in prison - I can only imagine the pain you are going through.
__________________
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run
over if you just sit there....
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 04-24-2008, 09:11 PM
mahkenna's Avatar
mahkenna mahkenna is offline
London
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: California, USA
Posts: 573
Thanks: 1,036
Thanked 1,240 Times in 396 Posts
Default Welcome!

Sherry, I am so sorry that you have lost your children to the prison system. I know you must be devastated. We all know your pain and share your heartbreak.

I am glad you found us, it will help you to hear how everyone else is coping. There are so many wonderful people on this site. You will gain new friends, wisdom, support, and information that will help you and your family.

We are all here for you and pray that you will find peace and comfort here.
God Bless,
Mak
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to mahkenna For This Useful Post:
sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #20  
Old 04-25-2008, 02:39 PM
sassiegrammy sassiegrammy is offline
Account Closed
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A PLACE IN HELL
Posts: 5,073
Thanks: 10,669
Thanked 5,783 Times in 2,380 Posts
Default

Sherry,I see my sisters have all COME with LOVE and and SAY what we all FEEL!!I PERSONALLY COULD NOT MAKE IT THRU A DAY NOW WITHOUT THEM!!
I DO SO HOPE YOU WILL COME OFTEN!! WE AREN'T A BAD BUNCH...THERE IS ALMOST ALWAYS SOMEONE HERE 24/7...TO TALK TO !!WE LISTEN WITH OUR HEARTS AS WELL AS EARS AND EYES!!, TO LEAN ON!! WE HAVE A WIDE VARIETY OF SHOULDERS ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!!(testers welcome) TO CRY TO,OR CRY WITH..IF YOU WANT TO LAUGH WELL I THINK I HEARD ONE OF MY SISTERS USE THE WORD GOOFY....HMM I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHO'S GOOFYALL KIDDING ASIDE...YOU WILL FIND...THAT,,WE WILL CRY WITH YOU WHEN YOU CRY,WE WILL PRAY WITH YOU AND WE WILL PRAY FOR YOU,WE WILL LOVE YOU FOR YOU,WE DON'T JUDGE(not our job)
please don't tell my sisters that I SAID THEY GIVE THE BESTBUT THEY DO!!THE BEST THING HERE IS BEING HERE WITH PEOPLE THAT TRULY CARE!! AND HELP GOD TO HELP CARRY YOU WHEN YOU ARE TOO WEAK AND THINK YOU CAN'T!!
PLEASE KNOW WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!DAY OR NITE!!YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME TO PM ME IF YOU NEED TO TALK
LOVE AND HUGS
SASSIE
LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
FROM YOUR NEW FAMILY
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 04-25-2008, 02:45 PM
justadeb's Avatar
justadeb justadeb is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: south
Posts: 2,800
Thanks: 2,509
Thanked 5,498 Times in 1,923 Posts
Default

sherry come out come out where ever you are...
__________________

Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward. ~Soren Kierkegaard

Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 04-25-2008, 03:51 PM
sassiegrammy sassiegrammy is offline
Account Closed
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A PLACE IN HELL
Posts: 5,073
Thanks: 10,669
Thanked 5,783 Times in 2,380 Posts
Default

DEB, YOU ARE ONE AWESOME SISTER JUST LIKE TO TO TRY TO MAKE THE NEW SISTER FEEL WANTED THE REST OF OUR SISTERS ARE TOO!! BUT U R THE ONLY ONE TO COME OUT PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK.....
LOVE YOU SIS...................SHERRY I ADVISE YOU TO LET DEB FIND YOU SHE CAN BE RELENTLESS SOMETIMES...
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 04-25-2008, 06:43 PM
flymom flymom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Mass, USA
Posts: 598
Thanks: 475
Thanked 1,269 Times in 341 Posts
Default

Welcome,
I am sorry we had to "meet" like this! You are grieving, we all have done our share of grieving, and that process isn't always linear....
I have had days when all I could handle was 1 minute, literally, just 1 minute! I couldn't fanthom getting through an entire day!
My son is in for 12 years, not his first time, he went to lock up as a young teen. It still hurts, but I'm dealing with it, what choice do we have???
Lean on your good friends for support, you will find who they are, I guarantee it!
Come back here often, these ladies are wonderful and full of wisdom!
Lord BLess, and don't forget to add your "kids" to our prayer list!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to flymom For This Useful Post:
Judeca (04-26-2008), MDF1965 (05-01-2008), sassiegrammy (04-25-2008)
  #24  
Old 04-28-2008, 06:18 PM
Tag's mom Tag's mom is offline
christian49
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ohio, US
Posts: 59
Thanks: 41
Thanked 122 Times in 37 Posts
Default

My son has been in prison for almost 6 years. It is hard. God has helped me tremendously. I felt that He let us down at first. He let my innocent son get convicted. He let us go through 2 trials. But, He didn't abandon us. He holds us close and loves us through this. Keep your faith, hold His hand and don't let go.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Tag's mom For This Useful Post:
wendy tyler (04-28-2008)
  #25  
Old 05-01-2008, 11:37 AM
MDF1965's Avatar
MDF1965 MDF1965 is offline
Mary
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 1,861
Thanks: 6,001
Thanked 3,753 Times in 1,035 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sherry d View Post
hey i need some help dealing with my son and daughter being in a federal prison .my son has been in for 10 months and my daughter for 3 months .does it get any easier ? i feel like im dying from a broken heart thay moved my daughter 800 miles away and my son 400 hundred so i dont get to see them alot .i feel like im in mourning even though i know they are still alive this is horrible . i would really like someone to tell me how to make it easier if anyone knows how .thank you so much

Sherry, how are you doing? I'm hoping this note finds you feeling a little better and that you're heart is healing. The grieving and mourning as if they're dead I think is a common one among us. We each go through this in our own style and it takes each of us an undetermined amount of time to get from step A to step B. Heck! I flip back and forth all the time.

But I wondered how you're doing, Sherry. We care!

Love,
Mary
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MDF1965 For This Useful Post:
wendy tyler (05-02-2008)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I Am A Mother Whose Son Is In Prison davidsmominva Parents with Children in Prison 247 02-03-2009 05:50 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:14 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics