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  #51  
Old 01-23-2019, 12:24 PM
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I'd say right now my guy has what we called in high school "senioritis" lol he is just focused on coming home! I'm nervous, anxious and excited. I have no idea how our future will play out so I'm just taking it one day at a time. Thank god I'm in therapy already so I have a safe space to process all of this, good or bad. Hoping for the best but not living in denial of the possibility this goes sour.
Ha! Senioritis, I haven't heard that in a while but I can totally identify.

We're doing well, but his frustration is finally rearing its head. We've been waiting for the Board to assign him a parole hearing date for...drumroll...two years and nine months! Even as I type that, it sounds insane. And they can justify it because they have some super secret formula for clearing their backlog of hearings. I've literally ground my teeth down over this and our Family Visit (or lack there of) situation. So we're trying to prop each other up. The other day he said, "I'm just sick of being in prison." Six+ years together he's never said that and I'm sure it's not the first time he's felt it. So my heart broke a little.

Let's hope time scoots along a little quicker-- for all of our sakes.
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Old 01-23-2019, 01:54 PM
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"I'm just sick of being in prison."
I can imagine that hurt to hear. I hope you get your parole hearing in 2 years/That would be amazing.
My husband says the same and my heart breaks for him. He says I am paying for the crime I committed when I was just little boy but I left that crazy kid behind a long time ago. I want the chance to live life.
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Old 01-23-2019, 01:54 PM
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Ha! Senioritis, I haven't heard that in a while but I can totally identify.

We're doing well, but his frustration is finally rearing its head. We've been waiting for the Board to assign him a parole hearing date for...drumroll...two years and nine months! Even as I type that, it sounds insane. And they can justify it because they have some super secret formula for clearing their backlog of hearings. I've literally ground my teeth down over this and our Family Visit (or lack there of) situation. So we're trying to prop each other up. The other day he said, "I'm just sick of being in prison." Six+ years together he's never said that and I'm sure it's not the first time he's felt it. So my heart broke a little.

Let's hope time scoots along a little quicker-- for all of our sakes.
Yes let's hope so!

I literally just got off the phone with him a few minutes ago and he basically said the very same thing, he is sick of being in prison, and I know I'm sick of having him in there! The waiting is hard and it's definitely aggravating him. Really didn't help that the unit manager told him he should already have a halfway house date.....but we are still waiting. Patience is most definitely a virtue....
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Old 01-23-2019, 01:56 PM
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I hope you get your parole hearing in 2 years/That would be amazing.
He was eligible in 2016. We're pressing three years for them just to get him on the schedule. They have to have it done by Dec 2021, so yes...if it's not done in two years? Oh my. I have no idea what sort of strength we'll need.
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Old 01-23-2019, 02:08 PM
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He was eligible in 2016. We're pressing three years for them just to get him on the schedule. They have to have it done by Dec 2021, so yes...if it's not done in two years? Oh my. I have no idea what sort of strength we'll need.
My friend was also eligible in 2016 and he is still waiting. That is shocking. They really need to get this sorted. There are so many reasons to clear the backlog. To bring families together and reduce over crowding. Its so unacceptable on every level.
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Old 01-23-2019, 06:07 PM
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My friend was also eligible in 2016 and he is still waiting. That is shocking. They really need to get this sorted. There are so many reasons to clear the backlog. To bring families together and reduce over crowding. Its so unacceptable on every level.
It really is. The only thing close to an explanation that we've received was a total slap in the face-- they are scheduling those they believe are parole-ready first. ??? Based on what? That was never answered. So we try to console ourselves by saying the longer he stays in, the more programs he has under his belt and the more 'parole ready' he'll be. I just hope it's not another two years. We've agreed to a six month halfway house after release. So even if he's up next, which would be July '19, I wouldn't see him home any sooner than Jan 2020. *deep breath*
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Old 01-24-2019, 01:47 PM
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Wow, I just got the best phone call ever! I'm in shock I think, I hope this is real life! My guys case manager told him he is going to the Halfway House on January 30!!!!! That is less than a week away!
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Old 01-24-2019, 02:01 PM
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Wow, I just got the best phone call ever! I'm in shock I think, I hope this is real life! My guys case manager told him he is going to the Halfway House on January 30!!!!! That is less than a week away!
That is amazing news,so happy for you both.
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Old 01-24-2019, 02:04 PM
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It really is. The only thing close to an explanation that we've received was a total slap in the face-- they are scheduling those they believe are parole-ready first. ??? Based on what? That was never answered. So we try to console ourselves by saying the longer he stays in, the more programs he has under his belt and the more 'parole ready' he'll be. I just hope it's not another two years. We've agreed to a six month halfway house after release. So even if he's up next, which would be July '19, I wouldn't see him home any sooner than Jan 2020. *deep breath*
Goodness what a slap in the face, how do they know who is parole ready? Lets hope they get their act together.They are not providing value for inmates, families communities and tax payers.

Likewise my friend has been parole ready for years. No write ups, has done all the programs ,is a mentor to young prisoners, runs art classes and yet he clearly isnt parole ready either.Its all a joke.
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Old 01-26-2019, 02:58 AM
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Beyond excited for your lolo21216 - I can only imagine how you must feel right now with only a few days to go until you can pick him up and put your arms around him

Beyond pissed about your situation with your husband's parole situation, Mia... That is just so, so unfair and completely random; there should be a proper system for it without mistreating some and favouring others with no logical grounds. Argh

I don't really have any good news.... I am struggling with my own situation with my job; it's Saturday morning here and I am waiting for a call from work because there is a situation on-going that I will need to handle today and/or also tomorrow. I ended up in a place with my new job where they expect you to work 24/7 without compensation (I'm not going to agree to this forever, just working through a plan right now but still, it exhausts me). It's also the dead of winter here right now, the forecast says it will be around -25C in the next couple of days...That's approx. -13F.

I also just learned online that my fiancé was denied for parole and had to give him the news when he called me. We both "knew" this would happen but I suppose you always "secretly" hold on to hope...so of course it's disappointing. He went very quiet and I could tell it was a blow, I think one of the biggest reasons is that he realises now that he might not see his dad ever again (he's old and in bad health). As sad as I am about all this too, I hope that this is his rock bottom in terms of getting his life in order after this bid. Hard lessons are there to be learned from and maybe this is a lesson he needs.

Hope y'all are having a lovely weekend
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Old 01-26-2019, 06:14 AM
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I can barely concentrate on anything else right now LOL

This Wednesday I'll be the most excited person at the airport! Due to him getting moved so far away I haven't been able to see him in person in over 2 years, I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about hugging him.


I'm sorry for those that got bad news and I'm praying you get good news soon, don't worry I will not take my good news for granted, gonna cherish it!
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Old 01-26-2019, 06:28 AM
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Sari so sorry to hear your fiancee didnt make parole. I know what you mean even though you are 99% sure its a no that 1% still says it will be ok and that a miracle will happen. I hope you dont have to wait too long for your home coming.
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Old 01-26-2019, 09:15 AM
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Beyond excited for your lolo21216 - I can only imagine how you must feel right now with only a few days to go until you can pick him up and put your arms around him

Beyond pissed about your situation with your husband's parole situation, Mia... That is just so, so unfair and completely random; there should be a proper system for it without mistreating some and favouring others with no logical grounds. Argh

I don't really have any good news.... I am struggling with my own situation with my job; it's Saturday morning here and I am waiting for a call from work because there is a situation on-going that I will need to handle today and/or also tomorrow. I ended up in a place with my new job where they expect you to work 24/7 without compensation (I'm not going to agree to this forever, just working through a plan right now but still, it exhausts me). It's also the dead of winter here right now, the forecast says it will be around -25C in the next couple of days...That's approx. -13F.

I also just learned online that my fiancé was denied for parole and had to give him the news when he called me. We both "knew" this would happen but I suppose you always "secretly" hold on to hope...so of course it's disappointing. He went very quiet and I could tell it was a blow, I think one of the biggest reasons is that he realises now that he might not see his dad ever again (he's old and in bad health). As sad as I am about all this too, I hope that this is his rock bottom in terms of getting his life in order after this bid. Hard lessons are there to be learned from and maybe this is a lesson he needs.

Hope y'all are having a lovely weekend
I'm really sorry to hear all of it. Work, Parole, the whole shit... it's crazy and I feel for you
I'm not even going to write more about my guy, it has gotten a bit better but I feel I'm moving away or my guard is up a lot more... whatever... The last answer to my question if I should come and visit in the spring was "if I'm still alive"....
I'm doing what's good for me and take one day at a time which you should do as well.
Hugs darling!
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Old 01-26-2019, 10:50 AM
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I'm really sorry to hear all of it. Work, Parole, the whole shit... it's crazy and I feel for you
I'm not even going to write more about my guy, it has gotten a bit better but I feel I'm moving away or my guard is up a lot more... whatever... The last answer to my question if I should come and visit in the spring was "if I'm still alive"....
I'm doing what's good for me and take one day at a time which you should do as well.
Hugs darling!
Mizzy I am sorry to hear that things arent good for you guys right now. I hope things improve. It sounds like your guy is on a real downer and that is impacting on you and your relationship.
I hope he can move forward.
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Old 01-26-2019, 01:17 PM
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So much to respond to!



lolo-- I would be a complete mess if I were you! You sound fairly composed and I hope all goes smooth as butter for you on the day. I love homecoming stories!



Sari-- I want to kidnap you and bring you down here for a bit. I mean, there's work here but it's washing clothes and checking other people's medication, and it kinda runs 24/7 and the pay is sucky...BUT...we have sun. Lol The parole thing is just so hard. Like everyone has said, you want to be realistic but it's human to have hope. It's imperative, actually. Hang in there on all fronts.


Mizzy-- has he talked to a counselor there? I mean as in a mental health person. It sounds like depression has really gripped him this time. It's understandable that given our limited abilities to be there for them that as they withdraw, so do we. I would be the same. I'm sorry this is happening and I keep praying his circumstances change so he might feel hopeful again.
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Old 01-26-2019, 03:18 PM
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lolo definately make sure you come back and tell us all your home coming story.
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:36 AM
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Don’t be fooled, under the composure is a lot of crazy, LOL!

With 3 days left to go, sleeping has been near impossible, a lot on my mind and too much excitement to sleep. My stomach is in the worlds largest knot! Although that might be from stress eating chocolate.

My guy said he has actually been sleeping well! He is also very excited. Said he got a haircut yesterday I told him to enjoy the Arizona warmth while he can!

I do think it helped that this really got sprung on me only a few days ago so I haven’t had long to think about it. We had just about accepted that he wouldn’t be getting any HWH time so this came as a pleasant surprise, with very short notice! Luckily I had gotten everything he needed for the halfway house early so I’m not running around like a mad woman. I feel as prepared as I can be! I decided how I’m gonna do my hair and what I’m gonna wear.

Honestly I think I’m most worried about driving to the airport, hah! All the logistics of that always amps up my anxiety! But I’m just gonna leave my house early so I don’t panic in a rush. I’d rather spend some time at the airport waiting then running late, I’m already gonna be nervous! But more than that I’m so eager and excited to see him after over 2 years of not getting to and also to hug him, to hug him for real, with no officer telling us to hurry up!! It’s just so crazy, back in 2015 when I first wrote him I could not have predicted we would be here today but I sure was hoping we would make it!

Right now I’m keeping myself busy and trying to stay calm. Yesterday I went shopping with my mom to get a gift for my cousins baby shower which is in 2 weeks then I went out for dinner with one of my very best friends who I’ve known for over 25 years! Today, since we are actually having nice weather here in New Jersey I’m going to take my dog for a long walk and then hopefully later get lost in reading a book. Tomorrow is my guys birthday, the 9th and last one he will spend in prison, so hopefully we will talk on the phone a bunch. Then on Tuesday I have a session with my therapist which I’m happy about since it will help ease my anxiety a bit. Then Wednesday afternoon I’ll be headed to the philly airport to get my man and bring him to the halfway house which is in southern jersey.

So yeah that’s the update for now, I’ll be sure to keep you all posted! Thank you for all the support, it means a lot to me!
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:53 AM
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Sari-- I want to kidnap you and bring you down here for a bit. I mean, there's work here but it's washing clothes and checking other people's medication, and it kinda runs 24/7 and the pay is sucky...BUT...we have sun.
Thanks hon, oh I would fly over in a flash if I could! We had a sunny day today here too, I got my work situation over at 1pm and after that I headed out for a long walk. this picture is from my island and the view is to the frozen sea. Lots of people out and about and walking on the ice as well (I stay out from there!)

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Old 01-27-2019, 08:54 AM
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Aww, lolo - you guys are soooo cute
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Old 01-27-2019, 09:20 AM
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Lolo you guys look so cute together, so happy for your both. I can imagine your excitement , just enjoy it and make sure you check in with us when you can.

Sari what a beautiful picture,I love the snow but its a pain when you have to anywhere, we are expecting heavy snow here tuesday and wednesday. We have it cold though -3 with a wind chill of -10.
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Old 01-27-2019, 10:05 AM
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Sari what a beautiful picture,I love the snow but its a pain when you have to go anywhere, we are expecting heavy snow here tuesday and wednesday. We have it cold though -3 with a wind chill of -10.
Yeah....honestly, I hate winter with passion - but being into photography I must say you can take some amazing pictures when there's snow & it's cold enough that the trees have that frozen look, and when the sky changes its color. We have -16 today and with added wind they say it feels like -22. Supposed to be colder tomorrow & Tuesday, luckily I'm working from home both days so can stay indoors
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Old 01-27-2019, 01:12 PM
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Lolo you guys are adorable!!!! ��
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Old 01-27-2019, 10:53 PM
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miamac miamac is offline
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Love the photos! I'll 3rd(?) that Lolo and man are super cute together! Sari, that looks beautiful...and cold. I can visit but I can't stay.
I had a visit today. We've been having a low headcount for some reason and that always lends itself to a more relaxed environment. We also have staff that are pretty low key at the moment and it's amazing how much that changes the mood. We sat "with" two other couples and had so many laughs it was ridiculous. I told them about restaurants and bars posting signs in the ladies room that tell you how to order a special drink if you feel you are on an unsafe date and the staff will help you get out or call the police for you. The guys decided to start a support group for men with wives who were mean during visitation. They decided their code drink was a "Fuzzy Bear, on the rocks". LOL If one of them uttered the name, it meant the other two were to step in and rescue them. Goofballs. But honestly it's what I love most about hubs-- he has a good sense of humor and likes to laugh.

On the way home, I decided to get out a do a mini-hike. Like, super mini. It was getting dark and I had entirely the wrong shoes on. But this is my drive...around 5:30pm today.



And for our international folks-- this is the same desert that you hear about in the news where the migrant caravans are coming through. The "wall" is about a 15 minute drive from here. Do you see all those drugs and violent criminals wandering around in my photos? Yeah...me neither.

Last edited by miamac; 01-27-2019 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 01-28-2019, 12:04 AM
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Thanks for the photos, Arizona is beautiful! I can’t wait to take my own in a few months!!
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Old 01-28-2019, 02:55 AM
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Shelby67 Shelby67 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miamac View Post
Love the photos! I'll 3rd(?) that Lolo and man are super cute together! Sari, that looks beautiful...and cold. I can visit but I can't stay.
I had a visit today. We've been having a low headcount for some reason and that always lends itself to a more relaxed environment. We also have staff that are pretty low key at the moment and it's amazing how much that changes the mood. We sat "with" two other couples and had so many laughs it was ridiculous. I told them about restaurants and bars posting signs in the ladies room that tell you how to order a special drink if you feel you are on an unsafe date and the staff will help you get out or call the police for you. The guys decided to start a support group for men with wives who were mean during visitation. They decided their code drink was a "Fuzzy Bear, on the rocks". LOL If one of them uttered the name, it meant the other two were to step in and rescue them. Goofballs. But honestly it's what I love most about hubs-- he has a good sense of humor and likes to laugh.

On the way home, I decided to get out a do a mini-hike. Like, super mini. It was getting dark and I had entirely the wrong shoes on. But this is my drive...around 5:30pm today.



And for our international folks-- this is the same desert that you hear about in the news where the migrant caravans are coming through. The "wall" is about a 15 minute drive from here. Do you see all those drugs and violent criminals wandering around in my photos? Yeah...me neither.
Those photos look great. I will be there on Thursday to see my guy. I chatted with him on the phone today, its hard to tell who is more excited. I can't sleep, stress eating like there is no tomorrow, but I just want to get there and see him!
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