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  #1  
Old 02-17-2019, 02:55 PM
jeannbean64 jeannbean64 is offline
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Default Son always asking for 200.00.

Hello. My son is in a Federal High Security prison. He has been asking for $200.00 for another inmate's books. Always has some kind of reason that never makes sense. He is an addict and was selling at one time.
I don't have peace about putting any amount on an inmates books.
Has anyone else had this experience with your LO?
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Old 02-17-2019, 03:10 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is online now
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Dont do it. He owes a debt. Most likely for drugs. You can get in trouble for it as well. It is a con.
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Old 02-17-2019, 03:13 PM
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Hi there, tell your son no you will not put money on other inmates books.You are probably paying for drugs or a drugs debt.
I know its so hard but you cant enable your son. If you want to support him tell him you will give him an amount you can afford and on his books only.
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Old 02-17-2019, 03:14 PM
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Thank you for your reply. I have a concern it is a debt. Are drugs given before payment is made? What happens if the debt isnt paid or paid in a timely manner?
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Old 02-17-2019, 03:28 PM
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Hi ,yes drugs are given and the inmate is then in debt for the drugs they have had.The amount owed increases the longer they dont pay. Results can be the inmate is beaten or they need to go into protective custody.
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Old 02-17-2019, 04:40 PM
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I moved your question to the Parents with Children in prison forum.

The first problem with putting money on another prisoner's books to pay a debt, or for drugs, alcohol, gambling debts, or some other contraband is it's a violation of the bop's conduct rules. If discovered, your Son and the other guy will be in big trouble, and you may lose your ability to stay in contact with him in the future.

The reason I specified those possible reasons is they are the only ones I encountered in federal prison for sending money to someone else at an inmate's request. The other way prisoners pay for drugs is to have someone outside send payments to someone else who is not locked up.
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Old 02-19-2019, 05:54 AM
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Putting money on another inmate's books is done for a few different reasons.

Usually it just boils down to a debt that has to be paid. Most likely it's drugs. Sure they will give him a free sample to get him hooked and before he knows it, he owes hundreds. Besides drugs it can be a gambling debt. I have seen quite a few inmates go into protective custody due to drugs or gambling. We have a running joke among the COs that there is always a uptick after a big game like the superbowl or the NBA finals of inmates "checking in" because they bet badly.

Finally it can be just plain old "protection" money, or extortion.

Failure on your part can result in two things. Him checking himself into SHU for his safety or getting a beat down by the inmate he owes money too and ending up in SHU in protective custody.

As a parent he has placed you in a very tight spot. Do you continue to enable him by sending this other inmate money, keeping him safe? But if you do that you can get in trouble and it will continue to enable his disruptive behavior of drugs or gambling. Or do you say no and risk his personal safety?

His best action is of course to "check-in" to protective custody and hopefully get clean if it is drugs and to get away from the debt collector.
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Old 02-20-2019, 05:19 AM
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Thanks for your reply!
I did not put money on an inmate's books or his.
He cut off communication with me because I didn't, after calling me a snake in the grass along with some other color things.
Yes, it is hard as a parent knowing he could be in danger. He has caused as much stress and anxiety behind bars as he did before going in.

Tough love stinks!
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Old 02-20-2019, 05:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeannbean64 View Post
Thanks for your reply!
I did not put money on an inmate's books or his.
He cut off communication with me because I didn't, after calling me a snake in the grass along with some other color things.
Yes, it is hard as a parent knowing he could be in danger. He has caused as much stress and anxiety behind bars as he did before going in.

Tough love stinks!
Him lashing out at you sounds like typical behavior of someone in the position I described. Money is owed, he needs to work it out himself. He placed himself in this position, he needs to get himself out of it. Hopefully the self disruptive behavior will stop and he can help himself.
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Old 02-20-2019, 02:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeannbean64 View Post
Thanks for your reply!
I did not put money on an inmate's books or his.
He cut off communication with me because I didn't, after calling me a snake in the grass along with some other color things.
Yes, it is hard as a parent knowing he could be in danger. He has caused as much stress and anxiety behind bars as he did before going in.

Tough love stinks!
Tough love does stink but its the only way to help him take responsibility. Things will never change whilst you enable him. He is blaming you for a situation that he has created.
I am sorry you are going through this but stay strong.
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Old 02-23-2019, 09:16 PM
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I have been there. Refusing to give him more money resulted in a beat down when he could no longer manipulate things to stay ahead of the situation. His was a drug debt. But, because he didn't give up during the fight he was forced into, someone else saw potential in him and helped him get his act together and to quit using. Short term results really sucked; long term results - it probably saved his life.

I recognize my son got lucky. It doesn't happen that way every day. But, money now just means he keeps using and bleeding you dry. In the meantime, the anger and vile comments will likely continue. It is part of the addicts behavior. Know in your heart that you are doing what is best for your son, just like you did what was best for him as a child when you didn't let him run into the street
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Old 02-23-2019, 09:28 PM
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Thank you so much for your encouraging words. The guilt of not helping any more is hard but I know it has to be done. I had no idea in the beginning what was going on until recently. The behavior of an addict is so manipulative. I had no idea how much stress this would be. As his mother, it just breaks my heart to see his choices of crime. I'm so glad this forum is here!!
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Old 02-23-2019, 09:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeannbean64 View Post
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. The guilt of not helping any more is hard but I know it has to be done. I had no idea in the beginning what was going on until recently. The behavior of an addict is so manipulative. I had no idea how much stress this would be. As his mother, it just breaks my heart to see his choices of crime. I'm so glad this forum is here!!
I understand the "not knowing what was going on." My son's first use of heroin was in prison. I was totally shocked. I remain angry at all the drugs that are available in prison.
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