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  #1  
Old 09-28-2019, 05:35 PM
hopefuldad hopefuldad is offline
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Default In shock

Its been 6 mos since my 20 year old son did the most out of nowhere horrendous thing. He is in county waiting on what's to come. It was so shocking , he had so many hope's and dreams and is such a good kid. I'm so scared and worried for him. I'm putting all my trust in God. Just having a rough time today. Glad I found this site. Just reading that I'm not alone and are here for each other takes some stress off. I'm slow at this but will learn to navigate this site better over time. Thank you guys for being here.
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Old 09-28-2019, 05:57 PM
MsFish MsFish is offline
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Welcome. I'm sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, but glad you found us. One day at a time...
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Old 09-28-2019, 06:10 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
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Welcome to Prison Talk. I'm sorry for what you are facing, You will find much nonjudgmental support here from folks, some of whom who have dealt with similar nightmares. Stay strong and take care of yourself so you can continue to support your son.
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Old 09-28-2019, 07:01 PM
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I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Hopefully things go as good as possible for your son. Stay strong. Best of luck.
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Old 09-28-2019, 09:01 PM
ChaseJames ChaseJames is offline
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I'm terribly sorry for what you're experiencing right now OP, I am 24 years old and the effect my few years of incarceration had on my parents certainly opened my eyes to a lot of things. I sincerely wish you the best in this part of your life and hope for the best.
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Old 09-28-2019, 09:38 PM
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Hi hopefuldad, Welcome to PTO You're in the toughest part of the journey - The Not Knowing. Once you get on the other side of sentencing and you know what you're dealing with you'll be able to adjust (somewhat) and get into a routine. I will tell you that this journey doesn't get any easier, but you will get stronger. Promise.
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Old 09-28-2019, 10:43 PM
studebaker71 studebaker71 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hopefuldad View Post
Its been 6 mos since my 20 year old son did the most out of nowhere horrendous thing. He is in county waiting on what's to come. It was so shocking , he had so many hope's and dreams and is such a good kid. I'm so scared and worried for him. I'm putting all my trust in God. Just having a rough time today. Glad I found this site. Just reading that I'm not alone and are here for each other takes some stress off. I'm slow at this but will learn to navigate this site better over time. Thank you guys for being here.
Know that we are a group that help each other navigate these waters. You are ok with us and just let us know what you need and the group can give you the best advice.
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Old 09-29-2019, 07:43 AM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
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Hi there and welcome. Sorry you had the occasion to join us but glad you did!
Our son had one night of chaos that has now cost him 6 years and we still have 16 months to go. I say "we" because the effect it has had on our entire family has been huge. Our son was older, 28 when he did what he did. Most of all the fallout for our grandson will have the longest lasting effect. At our last visit, our son soberly told his son that by the time he gets out, he will have been incarcerated for half of his son's lifetime, ages 7-14. Thats the saddest part of our ordeal.

Sorry for the rambling. For now, just support your son as you can - letters, visits if possible.

We did hire a private lawyer to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars because our son was accused of a violent crime and it was in a very small rural county where we didn't know anybody. We also paid off his restitution, tickets and child support so that when he comes home it will be at least with a clean financial slate.
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Old 09-29-2019, 08:12 AM
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Hi Hopefuldad. Welcome to PTO. I am sorry you've found yourself in this situation, but so glad you found us. No parent ever wants to find themselves in your position, but sometimes they do.
You seem to be navigating these boards pretty well. Have you also looked around in the Colorado forum?
Welcome to PTO. You are not alone.
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Old 09-29-2019, 08:22 AM
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Welcome.
It was very comforting to me to find this site. I was so lost, alone and afraid. Unsure of what to do (tho it was my husband who is the person Im talking about)
But for the grace of God, my kids have managed to stay out of prison. A few close calls but so far, so good. Jail was hard enough with them for me to handle.


Again, Welcome but glad you found us.
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  #11  
Old 09-29-2019, 10:08 AM
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All of us here have lost a LO to prison. Wives/husbands/kids/friends. We're all together here. Welcome.
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  #12  
Old 09-29-2019, 10:16 AM
GaReform GaReform is offline
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You will find great support here. It's so hard to be a parent & realize there are just some things we can't fix or make better. It was so much easier when they were little & we could help them with things. Now we have to be a source of strength & support, praying for the day this can be in the past. I have learned that sometimes trying to protect our young kids isn't the best thing we can do. We need to keep them safe but teach them that the world holds dangers as well as joys & how to deal with that. Our lessons are usually kinder than the ones the world will hit them with. Preparing them is our greatest gift.
For now, love your son & take care of yourself. It takes a toll on the loved ones as much as the one who's charged.
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  #13  
Old 09-29-2019, 07:16 PM
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Welcome hopefuldad. Iím very sorry for all that youíre going through with your son. I am glad, though, that you found PTO and the parentís forum early on. My son was incarcerated for two years before I discovered this site and I was absolutely lost and frightened. As youíve already discovered, knowing that I wasnít alone was the biggest relief of all and, thanks to the wonderful, supportive parents and the CA forum, I soon learned how to navigate through the years ahead.

As was suggested before, please visit the CO forum as well. I learned all about visiting, sending mail and packages, etc. through the CA forum. Everyone was so helpful and it made everything so much easier.

I definitely agree that the beginning is the hardest time of all. Not that any of it is easy, but fear of the unknown can be excruciating. I hope that your sonís case moves along at a decent pace and that he receives a fair sentence. Please let us know how it's going.
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  #14  
Old 10-09-2019, 09:35 PM
MommaMurk MommaMurk is offline
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Welcome. I joined in 2014 but have never posted until today. I have a son that has been in and out since 2008 when he was 15 and in my world, it feels like no one understands the toll this takes on me.
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  #15  
Old 10-09-2019, 11:10 PM
Meami1 Meami1 is offline
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Welcome to PTO. Itís a very helpful place especially when your world has been turned upside down. Good luck on this journey, and weíre all here for support. Like mamamurk said, no one that isnít going through it knows how stressful it is. Mamamurk, I hope you begin to post more. It can be therapeutic to know youíre not alone!
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