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  #1  
Old 11-21-2018, 06:36 PM
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Default Not so festive

I've respectfully shared with others that this time of year I'm not very festive. Rather than bring the mood down, I kind of isolate myself whenever the conversation of Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas shopping, and so forth begins.

One year I decorated and it did help but once I took them down...life's realities returned. So rather than "put on a happy face" because it's "Tis the season", I'm going on as it's all just another day.
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Old 11-21-2018, 10:26 PM
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Between the holidays and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), many people get some level of depression this time of year. I don't really "get into" the holidays much either and am pretty darned glad when Christmas is over.

Keep your chin up, the New Year will be here before we know it
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Old 11-22-2018, 07:10 AM
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Im wondering if things will change for me once I retire.
Christmas is a nightmare that starts in Oct (usually)
Christmas music always sets my bitch switch on. (side effect of work I think when we were forced to listen to it day after day after day before the holiday. Pure torture)


I suppose I should do a tree this yr but have no clue where to put one. Plus Ive not put up a tree since we got the dog. You do know many ornaments are shaped like balls, right?

Could be a disaster. lol
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Old 11-22-2018, 07:39 AM
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Im wondering if things will change for me once I retire.
Christmas is a nightmare that starts in Oct (usually)
Christmas music always sets my bitch switch on. (side effect of work I think when we were forced to listen to it day after day after day before the holiday. Pure torture)


I suppose I should do a tree this yr but have no clue where to put one. Plus Ive not put up a tree since we got the dog. You do know many ornaments are shaped like balls, right?

Could be a disaster. lol
Oddly enough a former coworker of mine would love to start playing Christmas music as early as November 1st. It would help but this past Tuesday night, a new coworker was streaming it on the computer and I had to keep walking away.

Several years ago, I thought I was suffering from SAD but I realized I was grieving so many losses, it never was that obvious to me.

I'm crossing out the days until 2019, thank goodness I don't have to work NYE but knowing the holidays will drift away, makes it easier to keep moving forward.
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Old 11-22-2018, 07:59 AM
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I think its perfectly ok to not decorate, celebrate etc.
If you're not feeling it, it makes it seem silly if you try. (or at least it does for me)
Since hub is now out, I do TRY to seem involved.
When he was in prison, I did not do alot. Then I could secretly be smug when I'd hear about having to clean up after the holidays.....put the tree up, decoration etc.
One good thing is if you dont decorate, you dont have to clean up.
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Old 11-22-2018, 08:17 AM
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The holidays are a lot like facebook and I suppose other social media. People put on a "happy" face and make everything look like it is terrific. That can make others feel as if their situation is even worse than it really is. Everyone has flaws and things in their lives that are not wonderful. I know I put up a tree to make it easier for my daughter and granddaughter. Not sure if I will bother this year now that they live in another state.

I think we can let the expectations of what others think we should or shouldn't do affect us too much. We need to be aware of what we personally need... and remember how that affects our family if we have children and grandchildren that are close. I will do whatever I can t make their day easier if I can.
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Old 11-22-2018, 09:39 AM
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This year feels a little easier. I have younger kids, so for them I push through it.

I spoke to him this morning and he is making all the most of today. He can get a real food package, so they have been up since early this morning cooking. He is in a good mood and that helps a lot.

I just remind myself to make the most of each day and find the small joys.

At the end of the day, we all have to do what makes us feel the best. If not celebrating helps then it is what you do. If you change your mind, then you do. Your life. Your feelings
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Old 11-22-2018, 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 View Post
At the end of the day, we all have to do what makes us feel the best. If not celebrating helps then it is what you do. If you change your mind, then you do. Your life. Your feelings
That's a good mindset. I don't feel festive with my life disrupted. I haven't really celebrated holidays for many years, that has been a conscious decision that far pre-dates this prison episode. There are always options and ways to celebrate if you want to regardless of circumstance. But I don't celebrate and tend not to think about it much.

Except those specific 3 days - Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years - that feel awkward when not being a part of it. Those are the days I feel the need to just "get through". All the time before and after, no worries.
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Old 11-22-2018, 10:38 AM
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If it's any consolation, I don't have great fondness for the holidays either, and it's been like that for years. Thankfully I'm leaving for work shortly. My husband is visiting his mother in the nursing home. Can hardly wait until the holidays are over.
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Old 11-22-2018, 12:31 PM
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Well this year is particularly bad for me. I'm really missing my fiancé this morning, even though he's already called. But this is also the first holiday season after my grandson and my father passed, so I can't say i'm feeling any kind of holiday spirit this year at all.
I am going to dinner with a friend, she's making me, mostly because my fiancé doesn't want me to stay home alone (which is really what i'd rather do), but i'll push through it and fall apart later I guess.
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Old 11-22-2018, 01:47 PM
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To be honest I am the female ELF ,I drive everyone mad with my Christmas obsession.I am counting the days until my trees goes up in each room.I am heading to Colorado in early December when I get back its Christmas full force in our house.
I have to try and contain myself as I am driving my loved one insane singing Christmas music etc and I have to remember how he is feeling locked up.
So I apologise on behalf of all us Christmas enthusiasts. We sometimes dont realise how annoying we can be.
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Old 11-24-2018, 04:37 AM
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I just can’t do the Holidays, I’m glad hubs could care less. I will just be glad when they are all over
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Old 11-24-2018, 09:18 AM
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Haven't really celebrated Christmas or any other holidays in over a decade. Not necessarily by choice but due to family deaths & estrangement so there's really no one to celebrate with. I'm so used to it though that it doesn't really bother me anymore...I might buy chocolate for myself for Christmas and put up some lights for brightening the darkness but that's it. I was lucky to have plenty of wonderful holidays when I was a child/younger and my mom was still alive, so I cherish those memories.

I've just recently started in a new job though and I'm kind of apprehensive about the questions that will start coming up closer to Christmas about what everyone is planning on doing.....it always seems to be a shock to new people to hear that I never have any plans/company for the holidays. Almost makes me wonder if I should just say I'm spending xmas with my friends or something so that people won't look at me all weird

My LO says he's like a kid when it comes to holidays, getting excited over Christmas (when free) We've never spent any together, being MWI...but if we ever have that chance in the future, I'd imagine I would love it too with someone special.
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Old 11-24-2018, 04:55 PM
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To be honest I am the female ELF ,I drive everyone mad with my Christmas obsession.I am counting the days until my trees goes up in each room.I am heading to Colorado in early December when I get back its Christmas full force in our house.
I have to try and contain myself as I am driving my loved one insane singing Christmas music etc and I have to remember how he is feeling locked up.
So I apologise on behalf of all us Christmas enthusiasts. We sometimes dont realise how annoying we can be.
No apologies, that spirit brings peace to many who need to see the joy of the holidays in you.

This morning, that joy made me smile. The store was playing carols and there was this young man dancing through the aisle singing along Seeing that made me smile and before I knew it, I was singing along, too.
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