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  #1  
Old 06-12-2009, 09:03 PM
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Jesse'sbabygirl Jesse'sbabygirl is offline
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Default What do I do to stop my feelings of anger?

Ok so my fiancee called me today and i realized im so mad at him for leaving me even though it's not his fault for being away so long. I find the littlest things to bitch about....I feel awful for doing this but I know I am really mad at him and I just keep it all inside and try and find something to yell about. Not really yell just nag him. I dont know how to tell him how I feel. He has been in since 2006 so I thought I just understood how to deal with it but I guess reality hit me and now I know that I just buried my feelings so i didnt have to deal with them. Or maybe it's so he didnt have to deal with them. I mean I really dont even cry anymore just once in a while like once a month...does that make me a bad fiancee?? I miss him everyday and I try and find things to occupy my mind so i dont think of him 24/7 but i always do. I just dont know. sorry i had to kinda vent...
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  #2  
Old 06-12-2009, 09:09 PM
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No that doesnt make you a bad fiancee. I actually just had the same today, its not my hubbys fault either but I got so mad I made a huge mess of papers and things on the floor to get rid of my anger and hadta clen it all up which made me even more mad. Than I kept bickering about how pissed off I am that hes not here with me event hoguh its beyond his control. Its just the situation as a whole can become very overwhelming to the point where ur brain just doesnt know what to think about it anymore. trust me i know the feeling and i cant even talk to my baby because its a no contact order in place so that pisses me off even more. Hoep I helped. Does he get out soon?
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Old 06-12-2009, 09:13 PM
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He gets out in 2011....2 years 12 days and 2 months....i wanna tell him i just dont know how to do it with out sounding self centered and sounding like "it's all about me" and i dont care about how you feel. If that makes sense
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Old 06-12-2009, 09:15 PM
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There's nothing wrong with they way you're feeling. But you do need to try to let go of some that anger. Otherwise the more you lash out at him, the more damage to your relationship you're going to do.
Maybe try talking to your fiance (or writing a letter if you'd prefer) explaining the way you feel and try and work through the feelings together. It might help lift some of this burden off your shoulders
We all have our own ways of coping. And if yours is to occupy your time, then great!
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Old 06-12-2009, 09:19 PM
lelbelle0607 lelbelle0607 is offline
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I agree...i try to keep our phone and face to face visits pretty positive. I usually write those types of feeling down...some of them I send to him and some I don't. I find that it helps me. They can't interupt when you write and you can finish what you have to say without the lady coming on to say you have 30 seconds left.
With that said, I think we all feel that way. we have good days and bad days,....this is just a bad spot for you....hope you feel better! (((((Hugs))))
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Old 06-12-2009, 11:25 PM
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You have every right to be angry! The fact that you are supressing it is going to cost YOU in the long run. You need to get it out, one way or another. I have a journal that I wirte in, I write every feeling and thought that I have, trust me it helps. Also, I write to Ray about things, no matter what I am feeling he knows it. I am not mean about it, I try not to be a bitch, but sometimes I am, and he understands it. You have to let it out.
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Old 12-17-2018, 01:29 PM
JGardner10 JGardner10 is offline
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Maybe the question shouldn't be how do I stop my anger, but how do I work through my anger. By reframing the question you give yourself permission to feel the way you feel. Non-judgementally. Experiencing anger is a normal stage of grief, it is ok to feel anger. How we express anger is a choice and we can express it in ways that are harmful to ourselves and to those we love. What I think you are saying is you don't want to express anger to him and it hurt him. That is understandable. Kudos, for talking to us about it. We all need to vent some time. Anger is also part of grief. You lost things related to your relationship with him. Time. Holidays. Whatever you expected. Its ok and healthy to grieve those losses. As we grieve, working through anger, sadness, towards acceptance.
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Old 12-17-2018, 04:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JGardner10 View Post
Maybe the question shouldn't be how do I stop my anger, but how do I work through my anger. By reframing the question you give yourself permission to feel the way you feel. Non-judgementally. Experiencing anger is a normal stage of grief, it is ok to feel anger. How we express anger is a choice and we can express it in ways that are harmful to ourselves and to those we love. What I think you are saying is you don't want to express anger to him and it hurt him. That is understandable. Kudos, for talking to us about it. We all need to vent some time. Anger is also part of grief. You lost things related to your relationship with him. Time. Holidays. Whatever you expected. Its ok and healthy to grieve those losses. As we grieve, working through anger, sadness, towards acceptance.
Thank you for your comments and advice. This thread is 9 years old so its unlikely the OP will answer.
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