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  #26  
Old 07-09-2018, 08:54 AM
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Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
What's done is done....learn from it, do what you can to correct it and accept the final outcome. That's about the best any one of us could do.

I do have a question though: you stated that you were a block before the facility when you stopped at the roadblock. On prison grounds or off?
That's absolutely correct. I have learned a great deal from this in an instant. And yes, it was on the prison grounds. I think it's called a complex..there is a prison, a camp and a penitentiary all on the grounds. So there's a long hill that you drive up to get to whichever one you're going to and several different buildings. When I said a block away, I meant that was about how far away from the camp that the roadblock was set up.
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Old 07-09-2018, 08:58 AM
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Look, we're a little jaded here because we've already done or read all the dumb stuff that people don't think about as problems. You're just the current one on the hot seat.

Ever go down a road you've been over a hundred times and suddenly there's a registration check, and they pull you over? It's always a possibility, and one that needs to be taken into account. It's legit for them to set up, and it's legit for them to pull you over to the side of the road. With a prison facility it works exactly the same way.
I appreciate you being candid without being insulting..there's a difference. There is a way to speak to someone without insulting them or making them feel badly and this is the way, along with the others whose comments I clicked 'Thanks" on. I appreciate you all.
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  #28  
Old 07-09-2018, 09:04 AM
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I think she gets it. She messed up, whether it was because of stupidity or just because she didn’t think. She acknowledges she messed up and has taken responsibility for it. I get why people are concerned for the woman who drove her there but that’s between them and if she isn’t upset it obviously isn’t a huge deal to her. I don’t see her acting the victim. She knows it was wrong because her visits were suspended.

I don’t know if there is anything you can do to get your visits back other than waiting. No matter the reason, it was illegal for you to be in possession of those items and I don’t think they will reverse their decision. It may even make it worse if you try to challenge the decision. It’s a tough lesson to learn. Acceptance in this instance is your best course of action.
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  #29  
Old 07-09-2018, 09:15 AM
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I think she gets it. She messed up, whether it was because of stupidity or just because she didnít think. She acknowledges she messed up and has taken responsibility for it. I get why people are concerned for the woman who drove her there but thatís between them and if she isnít upset it obviously isnít a huge deal to her. I donít see her acting the victim. She knows it was wrong because her visits were suspended.

I donít know if there is anything you can do to get your visits back other than waiting. No matter the reason, it was illegal for you to be in possession of those items and I donít think they will reverse their decision. It may even make it worse if you try to challenge the decision. Itís a tough lesson to learn. Acceptance in this instance is your best course of action.
Right..my plan is to write to the warden, not expecting anything good but hoping, with accountability and honesty. That's all I can do and whatever will be, will be. I am glad I asked so that I will not be surprised if nothing comes of it. I am praying it can at least be shortened to 6 months or something, but I will expect nothing. Thanks
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  #30  
Old 07-09-2018, 10:24 AM
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Listen... I believe you know you screwed up and I believe you'll will accept your fate of your one year suspension. Visits are awesome and so important to all involved.
On my way home from work I was actually thinking about it and I got the feeling that we as the "outmate" are just this "pissed" because one mistake of another person "ruins" it for a lot of us. Because of "mistakes" like that we all get somehow into "trouble"...
That's just being very negative. I hope you'll get my drift.
We all make mistakes, we are all human beings and no robots.
So let's look ahead and try not to repeat our mistakes. We all have to have some empathy for the stupid stuff one does every once in a while.
My personal advice to you: have a caffein drink instead of weed
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  #31  
Old 07-09-2018, 10:25 AM
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The one thing Ive learned thru the whole process of my hubs incarceration/and parole..
Even if it was not a problem before, it could be if it even sorta looks like something its not.
So maybe one time an outfit is ok to wear to visits, does not mean they cant make you change or deny your visit the next time you wear it.
Follow every single rule. Even if its stupid, or you think its stupid.
This! This past Saturday I wore a shirt that I have wore at least 3 times to visits (and I have another one but in a different color that I have wore many times)....and I had to go change. The kicker for me was when the thing in the control room told the dorm sarg that I was "disrespectful" to her. No, I just made the statement that I had wore that shirt before and asked where I could go to change. Of course the dorm sarge told my husband, who informed her that if I was indeed being disrespectful that she would know it because my visit would not be happening.....and, the dorm sarg has seen me in there before and knows that is not me.

Point being....they make up the rules as they go along and it all depends on their mood on that day as to what is allowed and what isnt. WE, as visitors, just have to be as prepared as we can....which is why I clean my vehicle out before each trip (188 miles one way), take at least 2 changes of clothing (even though I never spend the night), and keep ALL medication (even though I do not take it in) in the original, labeled bottles.
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  #32  
Old 07-09-2018, 10:32 AM
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Actually, the point of me posting was to see if there was anything I could do or if anyone had any advice. Again (but you guys will keep saying it), I would never bring anything on the grounds again. If I sound like I'm trying to play victim, not my intention. My intention of saying how it all went down was to try to give u guys an understanding of why it happened this way. One person said I should've known better..how is that compassion? I'm no expert with this system. We couldn't even visit the entire time he was in the federal facility that was 9.5 hours away..so no, I'm no expert..we went there once in a year. And I still had my pepper spray on my keychain. Left in my vehicle. But anyway, no need to keep saying it. Some of you pretend like you're not attacking me when indeed you are. I have just been stricken from visits for an entire year and all you can say (paraphrasing) is that I should've known better. Thanks a lot for that. He has two years left. We'll just get by with this visit ban as we have been getting by with barely seeing him in the past two years. I appreciate those who did not make me feel like an idiot. Have a good day everyone.
I wasn't trying to be mean but who would think that it would be ok to bring drugs onto prison grounds. I even knew that before my husband ever went to prison. You and your vehicle are subject to being searched at any time and visits can be terminated for any reason. I hope you can get things worked out but just know it probably won't.
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Old 07-09-2018, 10:55 AM
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This! This past Saturday I wore a shirt that I have wore at least 3 times to visits (and I have another one but in a different color that I have wore many times)....and I had to go change. The kicker for me was when the thing in the control room told the dorm sarg that I was "disrespectful" to her. No, I just made the statement that I had wore that shirt before and asked where I could go to change. Of course the dorm sarge told my husband, who informed her that if I was indeed being disrespectful that she would know it because my visit would not be happening.....and, the dorm sarg has seen me in there before and knows that is not me.

Point being....they make up the rules as they go along and it all depends on their mood on that day as to what is allowed and what isnt. WE, as visitors, just have to be as prepared as we can....which is why I clean my vehicle out before each trip (188 miles one way), take at least 2 changes of clothing (even though I never spend the night), and keep ALL medication (even though I do not take it in) in the original, labeled bottles.
This is it exactly! Happened on my 3rd visit... always adhere to the rules, even didn't wear my Adidas sneakers with the metal cap but still... they complained about my clothes for all 3 visits. So aggravating and it really upset me. And I didn't do anything wrong but that time I obviously did....
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Old 07-09-2018, 11:26 AM
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This is it exactly! Happened on my 3rd visit... always adhere to the rules, even didn't wear my Adidas sneakers with the metal cap but still... they complained about my clothes for all 3 visits. So aggravating and it really upset me. And I didn't do anything wrong but that time I obviously did....
I know.....its always our fault. lol By the time he made it to the visitor's park, I was pissed....and he knew it. He took up for me by telling the dorm sarg a couple of things (which she agreed with) 1. wife does not dress provocatively. 2. she wont do anything to jepordize our visits. And 3. If I was disrespectful she would have already been notified that my visit wasnt going to happen (I have a temper unfortunately). lol

I just keep reminding myself that we have 23 more months of this crap and then they can kiss my big toe. And, I am in the process of researching exactly how to work for the inmates to get reform. The bottom line is that inmates are verbally and mentally abused (sometimes physically too). That just isnt right.
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Old 07-09-2018, 12:09 PM
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I said that I messed up. I said that I have a plan to help the woman. I'm mentioning how it happened for an understanding of why it happened only. I'll stop talking now.
Do you not understand that “why” it happened is because you failed to follow the rules? “I had no reason to believe I would get caught” is not a valid mitigating circumstance. You seem to think that this statement will somehow sway the warden. It won’t. That’s what people are trying to tell you.

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  #36  
Old 07-09-2018, 12:47 PM
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Right..my plan is to write to the warden, not expecting anything good but hoping, with accountability and honesty. That's all I can do and whatever will be, will be. I am glad I asked so that I will not be surprised if nothing comes of it. I am praying it can at least be shortened to 6 months or something, but I will expect nothing. Thanks
Unfortunately I donít think you get the seriousness of it. I was feeling bad because everyone was jumping on you but ^^^^ this shows you arenít getting you brought DRUGS on the property...on FEDERAL property. If it was just the pepper spray Iíd say ďsure, write the warden, it couldnít hurtĒ. BUT, I honestly donít think you should write them asking for a shorter ban. In fact, as I said in my earlier post, it may just hurt you more (meaning a longer ban) if they feel you arenít getting the seriousness of what you did. A half of a joint may not seem like a big deal on the street but when you are caught with drugs on Federal property...a prison no less, then the severity of it goes up 100 times. Think before you act. Something you didnít do before you got in this mess.
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Old 07-09-2018, 01:57 PM
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Sorry to hear about your troubles, and how it has impacted your children. If you decide to appeal to the warden, the best approach, as others have suggested, is to accept full responsibility and respectfully ask whether the length of the suspension can be reduced. This approach would reflect that you accept that the suspension is justified. In the meantime, if a relative can take the children for visits, this would lessen the fallout. Best of luck!
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Old 07-09-2018, 02:51 PM
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Me asking for a reduction has nothing to do with not understanding the seriousness of what I did. Me writing the warden is because I'm going to at least try. Same idea as getting character letters written to a judge before a person's sentencing (after they've pled guilty) in my opinion. I won't not try. Smh. I never ever said that what I did was not wrong and I never ever said that I was going to tell the warden that I didn't think they would check the vehicle. When did I ever say that???? Goodness

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Old 07-09-2018, 02:58 PM
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Listen... I believe you know you screwed up and I believe you'll will accept your fate of your one year suspension. Visits are awesome and so important to all involved.
On my way home from work I was actually thinking about it and I got the feeling that we as the "outmate" are just this "pissed" because one mistake of another person "ruins" it for a lot of us. Because of "mistakes" like that we all get somehow into "trouble"...
That's just being very negative. I hope you'll get my drift.


We all make mistakes, we are all human beings and no robots.
So let's look ahead and try not to repeat our mistakes. We all have to have some empathy for the stupid stuff one does every once in a while.
My personal advice to you: have a caffein drink instead of weed
I understand that point of view. And the weed was to help me fall asleep, not stay awake
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Old 07-09-2018, 03:45 PM
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I understand that point of view. And the weed was to help me fall asleep, not stay awake

Iím so confused.

If you arenít tired enough to fall asleep, why do you need to fall asleep? Sorry... haha thatís just been bugging me.
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Old 07-09-2018, 03:59 PM
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I understand that point of view. And the weed was to help me fall asleep, not stay awake
Next time you need something to help fall asleep, maybe just take something legal, like melatonin which is over the counter or get ambien from your doctor. Where were you going to smoke this weed to help you sleep though? In this other womanís car? I have to say, I have always been willing to help those less fortunate than me and offer rides if needed but this post has really made me think twice about that. I would never be ok with someone bringing weed in my car under any circumstance!

My husband just told me a story yesterday about an inmate who smoked an joint before he went to bed and put the remainder of it in his pocket. Then the next day had a visitor and never removed the joint. Got a hot for it when they found it on his way to visiting. Just careless but again, goes back to the point that this isnít just a stupid mistake, this is an illegal activity and for things like this, this is exactly why our husbands and loved ones are locked up. You should be happy they only took away your visiting privileges as opposed to arresting you for drug possession.

It is not a simple mistake you made. Itís a big mistake with consequences. The consequences however could have been much worse. But as I said before, contact an atty and have them write a letter on your behalf to the warden because trust me, they will do a much better job at making a case for you for a lower suspension of visiting than you are making for yourself.
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  #42  
Old 07-09-2018, 05:53 PM
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Next time you need something to help fall asleep, maybe just take something legal, like melatonin which is over the counter or get ambien from your doctor. Where were you going to smoke this weed to help you sleep though? In this other womanís car? I have to say, I have always been willing to help those less fortunate than me and offer rides if needed but this post has really made me think twice about that. I would never be ok with someone bringing weed in my car under any circumstance!

My husband just told me a story yesterday about an inmate who smoked an joint before he went to bed and put the remainder of it in his pocket. Then the next day had a visitor and never removed the joint. Got a hot for it when they found it on his way to visiting. Just careless but again, goes back to the point that this isnít just a stupid mistake, this is an illegal activity and for things like this, this is exactly why our husbands and loved ones are locked up. You should be happy they only took away your visiting privileges as opposed to arresting you for drug possession.

It is not a simple mistake you made. Itís a big mistake with consequences. The consequences however could have been much worse. But as I said before, contact an atty and have them write a letter on your behalf to the warden because trust me, they will do a much better job at making a case for you for a lower suspension of visiting than you are making for yourself.
Well I'd smoked it right before she picked me up. I put it in my cigarette box because that's a habit of mine. I just wasn't thinking. I had no intention of smoking it during the trip. It was definitely a mistake.
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Old 07-09-2018, 05:55 PM
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Iím so confused.

If you arenít tired enough to fall asleep, why do you need to fall asleep? Sorry... haha thatís just been bugging me.
Lol. Further up I explained that it's very hard for me to fall asleep in a car no matter how tired I am. But I knew I would if I smoked. We left at 4am and I hadn't slept at all..I would not have slept if I was not inebriated some way. I knew this for a fact.
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Old 07-09-2018, 06:58 PM
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I'm gonna make one last comment for this thread and then I think I'll be done with it. I've received as much help as I think I'll get. Thanks for that everyone. I am no longer gonna explain myself to you guys. I don't even know you lol. I think I made the mistake of even starting to do so. I pray you all have peace in this journey. Maybe step a little off the high horse. Just a little..maybe make ur judgements from a low horse lol..Peace.
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Old 07-10-2018, 05:36 AM
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Rtlyn18, Im glad you at least felt we helped you in some way. And sorry you felt *attacked*

But remember someone ELSE could come along and see this post and not repeat your mistake.
that was how I learned when this journey started for me. I read as many posts as I could about visiting, what to send and not send in the mail to an imate, what NOT to wear.......
It helped me out a LOT.
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Old 07-10-2018, 06:52 AM
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Your experience is definitely a warning for everyone. Knowing that roadblock checkpoints are possible isn't something that many folks would be aware of. Some prisons even run drug dogs around the visitor's parked cars.
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Old 07-10-2018, 08:35 AM
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You asked if anyone has experience. I do. I am in Texas though so I don't know if my experience applies, but I will share. I knew my husband before he got locked up through a friend as teenagers. We didn't know each other well. I began working on the unit and saw him. I didn't list him on my application because we werent talking (he wasnt my husband). I only worked there for 2 months. After I quit I wrote him and began visiting him. I didn't know about the 2 year rule. Guards saw me, said hi, didn't think anything of it. My ex found out and called the prison. We lost visits for 2 years. In Texas, you have to write to the Directors Review Committee in Austin to appeal. You can file an appeal every six months. I will tell you though if you are in Texas, a year is a slap on the wrist. TDCJ can restrict visitation indefinitely. He got a case for establishing a relationship with a guard, bringing contraband. It was alleged I was involved. I wasn't. TDCJ attempted to black mail me, they said if I would testify against the officer then....Well I couldn't help them because I really don't know anything. They took our visits- we have regular back, but no contact for over four years. I consulted an attorney then and about visits. I turned the investigator in, he was removed from the case, I recorded everything. But this could be indefinite and there isnt anything you can do. I am sorry you are going through this. You have to learn from the experience and accept the consequences.
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  #48  
Old 07-10-2018, 05:18 PM
Kimimi Kimimi is offline
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I guess the way you guys speak to me is what bothers me. I appreciate the things that you've told me that are helpful, but some of it also feels like an attack. Of course I will never bring anything on the grounds again. If you look at it from MY POV and my past experiences, maybe you can see why I did not think the vehicle would be searched. It has been 22 months of my husband being in jail/prison. In those 22 months, nothing like this has ever happened (car search). I have had the same pepper spray (which no one seems to be focused on..only the weed) on my key chain every time I've visited the 3 different facilities he's been at. Never have I had an issue. I know that this low camp didn't search me at all on the last visit and even allowed me to bring my entire purse, with the key chain and my cigarettes in the purse. That is my POV. But I suppose it doesn't matter to you guys. All that matters is that I was foolish for bringing it on the grounds, right? Although I've brought them on every grounds, every time in the past 22 months and didn't even think of it as a problem and was totally clueless. I didn't even know vehicle searches existed. But that's fine. I guess it feels good to know more than someone and scold them because you do. I never intended to do anything that would hurt the woman because I didn't know about this procedure of searching the vehicle. Anyone who told me anything about trying to overturn the decision, thanks. I've read many threads in these forums and normally people are sympathetic and compassionate when someone is going through something like this, but not for me, huh? I am dumb. Point blank. Thanks you guys, for making me feel like crap.
That really sucks and Iím sure it is nothing you ever would have wanted to happen for you, the lady or toir children. Iím sure you were excited and if you had smoked the joint and are anything like me it makes you a little forgetful lol It probably seems like people are being rude because everybody gets in here and says the same thing over and over. I heard you say you were sorry and take responsibility. This was not a malicious action it was a mistake and an opportunity to just start paying more attention and thinking things through more. Itís gonna be a tough year hang in here sometimes these tough times are an opportunity to learn a lifeís lesson. I also commend your courage to share this story so others, maybe newcomers can learn from it. I live in a legal state and many people have it in their purses and cars here because itís totally ok.
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Old 07-10-2018, 10:52 PM
rockchalk1 rockchalk1 is online now
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Your experience is definitely a warning for everyone. Knowing that roadblock checkpoints are possible isn't something that many folks would be aware of. Some prisons even run drug dogs around the visitor's parked cars.
This is a good point, as well as a good reminder that when we fill out the visitor form, we are giving them permission to search us.

At my husband's camp they now have a standing order to strip search all the inmates after visiting due to the huge number of drug incidents they are having in the camp. My husband could care less about the searching, but they have yet to find anything on anyone. Why they can't figure out that the stuff is not coming in from visiting, but is being thrown in over the fence or somewhere else, is beyond me. A guy smacked his head yesterday after passing out from smoking K2 and was bleeding all over. When the CO found him the guy claims he was punched by an inmate. So what did they do? Made every inmate take their shirts off to look for bruises and/or scratches in evidence of a fight. Smh. The ridiculous gets more ridiculous. Do they really believe that's what happened? Why not take the guy to the SHU and not release him until he owns up to WHO "hit" him and see what he says? Why not put cameras in the bathroom or hallway outside the bathrooms?

Can dogs not sniff K2? Is it odorless? Can it not be picked up in a piss test or blood test? As I've said in prior posts, I know nothing about drug stuff/crimes, but this place has essentially been on lockdown and/or recall because of it and the guys who do nothing are being punished and nothing is getting resolved. Any psychologist knows that negative reinforcement doesn't work. Not sure why they don't try some sort of positive reinforcement, because they most certainly know which inmates are exemplary inmates and might be willing to talk in exchange for something else.

It's only a matter of time before a guy has an OD that kills him and then someone will sue and then they will do something! These guys need a rehab program, not prison, and even in many cases, RDAP does shit.
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