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  #1  
Old 09-10-2006, 08:57 PM
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Default Essex County Middleton , MA Information needed

MY girlfriend is a transvsette and has been sentence for three months for a second time.
Last time she was in Solitary confinement do to her sex status.
he/She is in the jail hospital waiting a cell she is addited to H will she get treatment.

I never been to a jail I am told I cannot visit until she gets a cell.
How do I mail in funds for the canteen and what is the policy
I mailed in a birthday card and enclosed a telephone calling card will she get it. She cannot call my cell telephone it doesn't accept collect calls.

Any information you can give will be helpful
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Old 09-11-2006, 03:51 AM
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Dmc
You can mail a money order ONLY.
are you mailing to framingham or middleton ?
if she / he is addicted to h than maybe she will go to the infimirary for w/ drawel systems there is one at framingham ........... i will not comnent on the quality of care, but i wish you both the best of luck

Inmates can not use calling cards

Welcome to pto........

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Old 09-11-2006, 04:15 PM
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Hi Dmc, I can't add anything to what Donna told you, but I wanted to add my welcome to PTO and to the Mass state Forum. I'm sorry for the rough times you and your friend are going through right now. How are you doing? Please remember that we're here for support (as well as information) any time you need us. Stay strong, and take good care of yourself, SunnyChick
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Old 09-12-2006, 05:56 PM
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Thanks for the information I understand she will not get the calling card.
She has been in the infimirary for a week they tell me it is becasue they are over crowed and I cannot visit until she is out. She is in Middleton, Mass. I do not have a regular telephone so will not get calls I guess and no visits for a while. YOu are helpful already thanks. I want her to clean up the H problem and coontine support when out.
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Old 09-17-2006, 11:37 AM
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Default Dmc123 more advice

She did not get the Birthday Card becasue I enclosed the calling card.
She is addicted to H and will not in roll in the rehab program at Middleton .

I did get to visit her (not he/she transvette) she was someone mean angry at me.
Told me she has no drug problem with H just likes doing it and never das withdrawals. ( she was up to 7 bags a day) and a street worker that as changed over the last 5 months.
Told me during visit I do not miss you as much as you miss me,
Told me during visit I love you as a friend I am not in love with you.
I love you because you are always there for me.
Do not writew me every day.
Do not visit me every day.
I am still your girlfriend and do not cheat on me.
I meet to guys and we are going to hook up for sex whenwe get out.( she was in only 6 days) she has protective custdy how is that handle at Middleton.
We have had a good relationship for amost three years the last 6 months we are very close and she always told me I am in love with you and I never loved anyone like you.
Why has she turned mean?

I wrote her I will notbe around to be there for oyu any longer.
I will not visit
I will not write
We are through
I am tried of all the head games.
I worried for her for over a week I though it be a great loving visit.

Did I go to far I have stopped writing and will nto visit today.

Is there a was to write someone at the jail to encourage her to get in the drug program?

Can she have sex or get drugs in protective custody?
How is protective custody arrangesd she with others?

Can any one help me out I am really sad, Our relations was strong or appeared that way.

Thanks
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Old 09-17-2006, 09:58 PM
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Hi DMC, I'm sorry for the heartache and worry that this situation is causing you. I have hesitated to respond to your Post because I am not an expert and have very little experience working with addicts who are in denial about their substance abuse problems. That being said, there are a few things I can suggest:

Number One, You must take care of yourself and your own needs first or you will be of very little help to anyone else. That includes avoiding abusive situations or conversations that are unnecessarily hurtful.

Number Two, Remember that much of what you are hearing from your friend right now is being filtered through her pain and anger. These could be the drugs or the withdrawal "talking" and may not be a true reflection of her feelings. I know it hurts you all the same, so try to protect yourself from that, and realize that she may simply be acting out of her pain.

Number Three, We have Forums here at PTO that address substance abuse issues. I hope you'll take the time to visit them and to listen to the experiences that others can share. Many of our members have been in situtations that, while not identical, are similar to yours. They may have ideas and advice that come from the hard times they've had with their loved ones.

If your friend is in protective custody, it is highly unlikely that she can gain access to either drugs or sex. Again, I suspect that when she tells you things like that, this is the pain of her withdrawal talking. I think it is probably wise to give your relationship a little space. Right now, she's in no position to be a partner to you, and you do not deserve to listen to the negative nonsense she seems so ready to throw at you.

Again, I am not trained in this field, but my personal opinion is that you need to look out for yourself first. The day may come when she is able to enter an equal partnership with you, but she's not there yet, do you think? I hope this helps a little. Please visit our substance abuse Forums and talk to the good folks there. I wish both you and your friend the best. Please let us know how you're doing. Take care, SunnyChick

Last edited by SunnyChick; 09-17-2006 at 10:01 PM..
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Old 09-18-2006, 07:33 AM
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That was a wonderful suggestion .. sunny EXCELLENT!

dmc good luck , TAKE CARE OF YOU ...
your dealing with a disease that is very powerful, cunning, and baffling

as the alanon's say: DETACH WITH LOVE ... (for now)

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Old 09-20-2006, 12:14 PM
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Thank you for the advice....I did not visit her as planned Sunday and stopped writing. I am going to see her again this week and see if her attitude improves if not "space" will be needed between us for a while.
I did get a 4 page letter from her excited about the letters she got from me and how to set up a account so she can call me on the cell phone. The letter was written before the visit I mention above. She will be out in 3 months and she will have to do drug testing weekly for 9 months. We will see how the visit goes this week. I have never been to a jail and had a friend or girldreind in jail so going has me stressed. Again thank you for all the advice.
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Old 09-21-2006, 05:54 PM
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Hello ALL, Went to visit her today just before we were to be let in to visit a CO came out and ask who was here to see S####. I said, I was, he told me she will not have any visitors today. Did not say why? It was in a crowed room with about 35 people so I just left. Guess she did something wrong. I do miss her I guess you can all tell from my endless notes..thanks.
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Old 09-21-2006, 10:41 PM
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Hi DMC, I'm sorry about your visit. That must have been a disappointment after driving down from N.H. I hope she knows that you tried. It's too bad that the guard didn't have the kindness to speak to you privately to explain what the problem was. I suppose it could have been a disciplinary thing, but if she's still in withdrawal (?), maybe she just wasn't feeling good -- shaky, you know? Or maybe she hadn't slept all night.

Are you writing to her? If so, maybe you can find some cute, upbeat things in enclose in your cards/letters -- anything light and cheerful -- I'm only guessing, but that's what I think I'd want if I were in that situation.

As a final observation (I hope you don't mind a personal note), you "sound" as if you're doing a little better. In your earlier posts, it was easy to tell that you were having a miserable time dealing with all this. You sound much calmer now, as if you're regaining your balance. I hope so, and I'm happy for that. Stress can play havoc with your health, not to mention your peace of mind. Take care of yourself, SunnyChick
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  #11  
Old 09-22-2006, 07:18 PM
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Yes I feel better thank you. But me feelings go back and forth...I had started to write her again I like to do a letter a day it makes me feel as though we are talking as usual. She as not written accept that first 4 page letter. Her major withdrawal should be over it has been three weeks but she had to quite smoking also. I wrote her some funny stuff we did together like making pancakes at 3 in the morning and she likes the story how I asked her to let me kiss her and told her not to move her lips by the time I kiss her 5 minutes passed. I will send a up beat card great idea. I add photo;s to the letter of her ecent vacation with her famaily and of us and I pix of her looking beautiful so she doesn't forget. I did assure her I was not with anyone and not to be concerned. She is out of the jail hospital for about two weeks. Thanks again
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Old 09-23-2006, 12:06 AM
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Hi DMC, It's really late, so if this isn't entirely coherent, that's my excuse. But I'm reading your post and for some reason, your story about the pancakes makes me think of that scene in the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes." You must have seen that movie -- well, I'm picturing you two making pancakes at 3:00 A.M., and I'm thinking of the silly kitchen scene from that movie where Ruth and her friend (I forget the name) get into a food fight. It was very funny.

I'm glad you're doing okay. I try to write to my guy everyday too. Your poor friend -- she had to quit smoking simultaneously. No wonder she's in a foul mood. I quit (for the last time, I hope) about five years ago. I don't tend to have an addictive personality except when it comes to my ciggies. That was so damn difficult, and believe me I was not very pleasant for weeks.

Hope you have a nice weekend. Take care of yourself, SunnyChick
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Old 09-23-2006, 02:04 PM
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Default Green Tomato

Sunny I did see that movie Green Tomato and I loved it saw it on DVD and TV . I honestly do not remember the movie part on pancakes but, I remember we were laughing and running around and we feed each other,
I woke up this morning 4 am for work I'm tired.
I was looking at a picture of her today and felt bad she did this to us.

Is it strange that I do not do any drugs at all, tried pot when a teenager and the girl I love is a H user and I new it a head of time. I do not know what to think of the fact she as not written me again one letter since Sept 8.

She loves to sing so I will mail her lyrics to songs she likes and somethng motivating to mail with it later, But know some rest.

Thanks
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Old 09-26-2006, 11:25 AM
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Hello all,
I went for a visit again this Monday and I waited over 2 hours when they called her name for me to go in I walked up and the CO told me she cannot have visits due to disciplinary reasons. She has only wrote once since she went in Sept 7. For all of 4 days I written her every day. I will be supportive and continue she must be having a hard time or wants to end our relationship. Wish I can talk with her, I cannot receive telephone calls at this time.
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Old 09-29-2006, 01:22 PM
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Red face Her she goes again.

I final got another letter from my girl in jail. In it she told me she wants to be friends. She feels she will be busy with work, job search and probation when she is released. After she made that statemant she asks "alright". She did get into other things about all the hot guys in side and how she thinks one CO likes her. She told me I can write her if I like and she will write back but that is all. She mentioned I lost visits for a long time I got a D-Bards. but she did not tell me what she did wrong and I asked in letters. She has this very hard attitude know she mentions. I did the crime I will do the time" She told me to say hello to a male she told me she thought was attractive and wants me to say hello and tell him after my probation peroid is over I will smoke a joint with him and say hello. She will be drug tested weekly and she is planning to smoke pot already 9 months down the road. She did this before She would say I will do only pot, then I will smoke crack sometimes, then I will do H once a week, then H twice a week, then only a bag a day. We had spoken often of working together to help her get a job and and go to school. she graduated from High school and I college.

The letter was more like a challenges to me to walk away. She told me she does want me to lose my family and other things if we continue to "hang around again" notice we have not been dating and going steady for 3 years we were just hanging around.

I did send her a letter that it is not "alright" that she is my girlfriend and we should not break up because times are tough. And I would write her and continue to be loyal to her and will visit her when she tells me she wants to see me.

The letter was from a very angry mean bitter person. She said in the letter you think you are lonely I am even more lonely. I can see she is having a very diffitcult time. She mentioned in the letter she is in Protective Custody Block with rapist and sexual abusers, she is in there because of her transgender issue.

Is this a normal process one goes through when in jail?
I have reviewed our relationship and I re-read her first letter she says in it
she showed others my picture and told them I was her boyfriend and she signed it Miss you, love you, and I notice when I read it this time in l diffrent light some how she got the impression of her lips on the paper. As to send a kiss.
I am hurt and you can tell I love her. What should I do should I walk away? I can see my post have a continued theme to them and should be a learning process for me also. Thanks ahead if any one can give advice
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Old 10-05-2006, 07:14 PM
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Default OK know

She wrote to tell me she did not mean she wanted to be friends.
She in in love with me and wants me to be her boyfriend and continue to be her support and not give up on her. I continued to write her every day and felt that helped. It appears an ajustment peroid was needed for her.
Thanks for support this is a great site.

Let me ask a guestion> She asked I mail 30.00 dollars to a friends canteen account, She said she doesn't want to use hers and keep the money until she gets out. I do not understand this reasoning. I can place money in her account and she can save the 100.00 in it and use the rest. She told me he cooks for her. I was wondering is it possible she can get drugs from this person even in Protective custody. I am not sending money to another persons account I just will not respond.
Also, she said she lost thirty days of visits becasue a Correction Officer felt a roommate in the prison hospital was sitting to close to her and they may have been doing something. I find this strange. My feelings are she was doing more then sitting this just after only 7 days in the prison. What is your feed back? I guess she could of told me anything like she kick a wall.

Thank you.
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Old 10-13-2006, 08:37 PM
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She is coming home in a couple of weeks over crowed in Middleton... plus she is transgender so they want her out.

She has mailed me a average of 1 letter a week.
She is sorry for the letter she told me we are only friends.
I hope and pray the drug use is over.

I have a long rode ahead of me and I thank you all for support and sharing.

I hope my post shows one the heartache and emotional toll that drugs use cost a love one and of being sentence.

Again Thank you!

Last edited by dmc123; 10-13-2006 at 08:39 PM..
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Old 10-13-2006, 10:38 PM
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Dmc123, Best luck to both of you for a happy and peaceful future. Like you, many of us know a great deal about the suffering that drugs can lead to -- they are not the answer that they seem to be at first. Don't forget that we're here if you ever need to vent -- or to share good news too. Take care of yourself, SunnyChick
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Old 10-20-2006, 08:05 PM
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Did get into visit with her she looked beautiful home Oct 30.
She asked to have a friend go out with us the first night home, she meet in jail but knew before.
Told her no way the person is in for drug use.
Always trying to do drugs, thinks she will beat the system by doing drugs before weekly testing. Of course in her mind just one time like before. I know it is hard for her she is having dreams of doing H and in dreams trying to get away with just doing crack. Drugs are bad bad they will distroy us if we use them or not. I will be there for her it is hard for her and I. I will talk with her again, still a long rode ahead. Keep this link alive and see where this all leads to in the months ahead.

Last edited by dmc123; 10-20-2006 at 08:07 PM..
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Old 10-20-2006, 08:31 PM
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dmc123, It sounds as if there may still be a struggle ahead. I wish I had some advice or encouragement to offer, but it often seems that every case is different. I hope things work out well for you both. Take care, SunnyChick
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Old 10-20-2006, 09:19 PM
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Hi DMC123, Welcome. If your girfriend is in Middleton, it is concered a "house of correction" which is north of the Boston area. My son started off his "time" in the Billerica House of Correstion" when he was only 17yrs. old. It has been a long time since I myself visited these places because my son graduated to the state prisons. But basicly they are the same as for the rules. One is that one never knows if one will ever make it to a visit. the CO can say "no" if they think you are not dressed properly etc.
And if they are in some kind of lock-up, you will not be able to see them and no one tells you why. This has happened a few times to me. It hurts.
As for the attitude from your boyfriend, he is under stressfull circumstanses to say the least. He has to stay in protective custody because of his sex situation and that alone will make him angry.
Try to be patient and to go about your life. When we accept things in the life I find we are in less pain. Thank God he is in for a short time. If your relationship is meant to be, it will continue.
all the advice that you already received from Sunnychick was right on the mark.
The people here are hear for you. Again welcome. May God bless you both.
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Old 11-17-2006, 08:53 PM
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Default Wanted to check back! SAD!

Hello all I wanted to let you all know what as happen since she was released from Middleton. Released Parole Sept 7. call her, meet for an hour was to pick her up at 8 pm to go out have not seen each other in 2 months she was not home when I went to pick her up. WOW! Pretty surer she did some drug. Reason for not being home friend called, I am her boyfriend 2 years and she went to see a pot smoker that she has not talked to in 10 months that never wrote or emailed her.
She is on Parole until Sept 18 the probration starts then, she as to have drug testing randon both the parole officer and Probation officer told her they would not start testing until after Sept 20. Great to tell a herion addict in jail twice for drugs. She decide to do herion again before test, she did it this Monday and I have not seen her since.

It has been a long hard road for me I was by her side wrote every day and visited, she told me the herion be out of her system in 4 days. She doesn't call she broke up with me, Know she can do drugs, go home pretend she was out with friends and her parents are pleased and fooled. She had the family paster drive her to her n/a meeting and that night shots herion.
What is up with Massachusetts drug testing she told me and her family she gets tested weekly, I read the papers she broth home and it is random. I am sad, anger and feel used. It sucks having the parole officers name and number and not doing anything, Her family will not believe me if I tell them she just makes up a story we got in a fight and he wants you both mad at me. I was so angry I almost called the probation officer Monday and she would of had to go back for 9 months. Will she die? From a over dose if I do nothing. Any advice, this is killing me! I feel so alone and helpless to help her. They only way to get her to stop again would be for her to go to jail again. She was in last year for three months got out did herion in two days regular, she last six days this time. She told me just one more time before testing and then I cannot do it again for 9 months.
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Old 11-18-2006, 02:02 PM
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dcm like i have said before you are dealing with a addict who is in the throws of active addiction... nothing can stop until they want to stop.. period... they have to WANT IT... they will steal, lie, cheat, sell their bodies and souls and than ... say i will never do it again, I am sorry that you are in this ... it is very painful I KNOW.. it is not easy kickin heroin .. but she must want it.. to get clean and live in recovery free of drugs..
there are programs.. and help nothing you can do , or probation or family can say will scare an addict..

YOU CAN however take care of YOU by goin to alanon meeting s and go to counseling.. maybe check out an na meeting...good luck you can pm me any time...
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:24 PM
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Dmc, I have heard it said that many addicts have to "hit rock bottom" before they finally realize that they need (and want) to change their lives. I don't know if this is true for everyone, but perhaps your friend has not reached that point yet. Please don't let her drag you down there with her -- either emotionally or in any other way. Take care of yourself or you will be of no help to anyone. You strike me as a very caring and loving person. Don't allow those fine qualities to translate into the characteristics of an "enabler." As hard as it may be, especially since this is someone you care deeply about, you may need to turn your back and walk away. I can't understand why you would allow her to treat you the way she is. This can't be good for either of you. Why don't you try to find something that can fill your time and bring a little joy into your life -- like photography or volunteer work or taking a course -- anything to take your mind off her and to give you a chance to expand your interests and meet new people? In time, you may decide to become re-acquainted with your friend, but right now this doesn't sound healthy to me. I hope I don't sound as if I'm "preaching" at you -- but you really need to take care of yourself, and that includes refusing to allow yourself to be used by another person. I'm so sorry this hasn't worked out better for you, but you certainly can't blame yourself. You tried and you gave it 100%. Now it's time to cut your losses, in my opinion, and put some of that effort into making a happy, fulfilling life for yourself. Take care, SunnyChick
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Old 11-19-2006, 06:08 PM
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Unhappy You are Right

I feel I have become and enabler and she is treating me so bad.

I always have an excuse for her and go along with her lies to not have disagreements when we are together.

I no longer feel she ever loved me.

I have not spoke with her in a few days and she called once I did not answer. She is going out almost every night to clubs and partys and I have found in her address book names of guys and there telephone numbers recently. She has been a very busy girl since she got out of jail last week.

I know I have to stop all contact, I know I have to move on and I realize that sooner then later she will break her probation and be back in for the last 9 months of her sentence.

She is taking me down with her and I have to be strong. People looking from the out side see things as they are. I love a herion addict and she loves herion, and the end rode for her may not be good. I have to regain my self respect and move on. It is scary to be without her, I worry for her. I have alway been there for her.
She still will look me in the face if she saw me today and say "I'am not doing any drugs you think I want to go back to jail". The answer is no she doesn't but she is surer is going to continue to try to beat the testing system. Thank you all for your advice.
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