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  #1  
Old 08-17-2017, 03:00 PM
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Default Boyfriend has Three months

My boyfriend will be home in three months but I actually don't know what to call him boyfriend or friend, due to how he told me we're over and now he's requesting I buy him clothes with the money I saved for him instead of saving it, feels like I'm being used, any advice?
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Old 08-17-2017, 05:59 PM
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If he says you are over, do nothing for him. Yes it is going to hurt. I wouldn't answer calls or write either. If he starts singing a different tune, take it slow. Protect yourself first
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Old 08-17-2017, 06:06 PM
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If he says you are over, do nothing for him. Yes it is going to hurt. I wouldn't answer calls or write either. If he starts singing a different tune, take it slow. Protect yourself first
Can't call due to segregation ,but I understand you! Time to put my foot down!
Sending the last letters tomorrow
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Old 08-17-2017, 07:30 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that. I agree with the above reply. If he is "done with you" show him your done with him. Please take that money and buy yourself a new outfit, go to lunch and get a pedicure! Best wishes to you! Stay strong.
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Old 08-17-2017, 08:07 PM
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But I feel obligated to do it because if I don't I would be a liar, maybe it's the Virgo in me sighs I just don't know anymore
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Old 08-17-2017, 08:15 PM
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But I feel obligated to do it because if I don't I would be a liar, maybe it's the Virgo in me sighs I just don't know anymore
How would you be a liar? Is the money his or yours?
How long have you been together?
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Old 08-17-2017, 08:16 PM
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How would you be a liar? Is the money his or yours?
How long have you been together?
It's the money I saved for him so technically his, and on and off five years
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Old 08-17-2017, 08:17 PM
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Just feel like I can't say one thing and do another
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Old 08-17-2017, 08:28 PM
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I am sorry you are going through this. I have money on the side for mine, but it is money I earned. I have chosen to put it on the side for him, but if he decided to end things with me for whatever reason I am not obligated to give it to him. I didn't make the choice to leave, but I did make a choice to support him and our future. No future. No money.
If he says he's done, then you are also done supporting him financially and emotionally. If he cannot honor his promises to you, you are under no obligation to honor your promises.

I am sure there is more to the story, which is fine. I just don't want you to feel obligated. None is obligated to do anything for another. Take care of yourself first.

Don't touch that money right now unless you need it. Give all this some space. You don't have to make any decisions, but please realize you only do for those who do for you and love you.
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Old 08-17-2017, 08:53 PM
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I am sorry you are going through this. I have money on the side for mine, but it is money I earned. I have chosen to put it on the side for him, but if he decided to end things with me for whatever reason I am not obligated to give it to him. I didn't make the choice to leave, but I did make a choice to support him and our future. No future. No money.
If he says he's done, then you are also done supporting him financially and emotionally. If he cannot honor his promises to you, you are under no obligation to honor your promises.

I am sure there is more to the story, which is fine. I just don't want you to feel obligated. None is obligated to do anything for another. Take care of yourself first.

Don't touch that money right now unless you need it. Give all this some space. You don't have to make any decisions, but please realize you only do for those who do for you and love you.
We broke up back in 2014 our second year because while he was locked up I was every name in the book besides my own at the end of his bid so I cheated on him and broke my celibacy, and last year before he got locked up again (I think he loves prison ) we reconnected and got back together so he says five years like it never happened ,then he renigged and said it's over this bring us here, story all details
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Old 08-17-2017, 08:59 PM
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We broke up back in 2014 our second year because while he was locked up I was every name in the book besides my own at the end of his bid so I cheated on him and broke my celibacy, and last year before he got locked up again (I think he loves prison ) we reconnected and got back together so he says five years like it never happened ,then he renigged and said it's over this bring us here, story all details
Sit on this a few days. Personally, I would do nothing for the moment. It is rude to say we are done, but hey send me clothes.

What happened on the past is the past, but it may not be something he has gotten over, but if I read what you wrote correctly he didn't treat you the way he should have been treating you.

You love him and right now you are heartbroken. But, he has no right to treat you like am ATM machine. He put himself there and that is not on you.

Take this time to look at your relationship as a whole. Right down the good and the bad. Be honest with yourself.
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Old 08-17-2017, 09:13 PM
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Sit on this a few days. Personally, I would do nothing for the moment. It is rude to say we are done, but hey send me clothes.

What happened on the past is the past, but it may not be something he has gotten over, but if I read what you wrote correctly he didn't treat you the way he should have been treating you.

You love him and right now you are heartbroken. But, he has no right to treat you like am ATM machine. He put himself there and that is not on you.

Take this time to look at your relationship as a whole. Right down the good and the bad. Be honest with yourself.
I will try that, thanks for the advice
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Old 08-17-2017, 09:36 PM
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My boyfriend will be home in three months but I actually don't know what to call him boyfriend or friend, due to how he told me we're over and now he's requesting I buy him clothes with the money I saved for him instead of saving it, feels like I'm being used, any advice?
Go with your gut, as it sounds like he is suing you. He doesn't want a relationship but wants you to buy him shit, upon release? Really, I wouldn't give him a damn dime, I would spend it on myself.

With such little information about your relationship, its really hard to give you insight, but sometimes they say shit like that in time of anger or frustration. Does he always act like this, or is it an isolated incident?

Good luck
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Old 08-17-2017, 09:51 PM
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Go with your gut, as it sounds like he is suing you. He doesn't want a relationship but wants you to buy him shit, upon release? Really, I wouldn't give him a damn dime, I would spend it on myself.

With such little information about your relationship, its really hard to give you insight, but sometimes they say shit like that in time of anger or frustration. Does he always act like this, or is it an isolated incident?

Good luck
He's been like that since we started talking again and when we were dating in 2014 , sad situation I really don't understand and I'm not the same way I was then and even then his name calling made me stray back then because I knew I didn't feel loved as he said I was by him
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Old 08-17-2017, 09:52 PM
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I know it doesn't justify me cheating on him but he hurt me beyond what I did to him, now he can't let go but wants me around still
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Old 08-17-2017, 10:57 PM
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No way in hell would I give him any money and no way in hell would I keep taking his calls. He's not even your friend, he's a leech.
If a guy would "somehow" tell me we're done, I'm done. Drop him and move on and use the money on a nice vacation
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Old 08-18-2017, 05:04 AM
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He's been like that since we started talking again and when we were dating in 2014 , sad situation I really don't understand and I'm not the same way I was then and even then his name calling made me stray back then because I knew I didn't feel loved as he said I was by him
This sounds like a toxic codependent relationship. It is time to re-evaluate why you keep gravitating back to him. What does he offer you, besides rejection? You have to believe you deserve better than this and stop lowering your standards. He doesn't deserve someone like yourself.

You probably both made mistakes but rehashing them is not healthy, so, you cheated, either the both of you accept it and move on or walk.
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Old 08-18-2017, 06:10 AM
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This sounds like a toxic codependent relationship. It is time to re-evaluate why you keep gravitating back to him. What does he offer you, besides rejection? You have to believe you deserve better than this and stop lowering your standards. He doesn't deserve someone like yourself.

You probably both made mistakes but rehashing them is not healthy, so, you cheated, either the both of you accept it and move on or walk.
That's what I told him, I told him it was the worst thing I've done and K sincerely apologize I said that over and over again, I have Issues I have to deal with mentally and his blame game and attitude towards it isn't helping me at all
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Old 08-18-2017, 06:26 AM
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Of course it's not and on top he's using this to "blackmail" you. Stop this cycle immediately, deal with your issues and don't take his calls anymore. Move forward and without him.
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Old 08-18-2017, 06:28 AM
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Of course it's not and on top he's using this to "blackmail" you. Stop this cycle immediately, deal with your issues and don't take his calls anymore. Move forward and without him.
It hurts without him ,but I know it hurt more since I'm basically being punished for the past, he's on segregation he can't call
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:25 AM
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It hurts without him ,but I know it hurt more since I'm basically being punished for the past, he's on segregation he can't call
Write him and break it off for good and you'll get past that hurt. He's treating you bad and it's enough. You have got to stop this sick cycle and move on.
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:27 AM
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Write him and break it off for good and you'll get past that hurt. He's treating you bad and it's enough. You have got to stop this sick cycle and move on.
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:28 AM
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Haven't I suffered enough from the first time when I hurt him years ago and went without him, is there anything I can do to change this behavior?
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:32 AM
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Haven't I suffered enough from the first time when I hurt him years ago and went without him, is there anything I can do to change this behavior?
You cannot change him, you only can change yourself and your actions. But if you are willing to make him treat you this badly, that's up to you.
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:34 AM
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You cannot change him, you only can change yourself and your actions. But if you are willing to make him treat you this badly, that's up to you.
I'm not willing to let anyone treat me bad I just went through a lot without him and I know how it feels
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