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Old 07-22-2019, 12:52 AM
Lillyth980 Lillyth980 is offline
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Default Boyfriend is on parole. I have questions!

My boyfriend is currently on parole and I have a few questions I would love answers to, please help!
We would like to transfer him from Oregon to Kansas but he has no immediate family here, and we are not married just yet. Could we get legally married here in Kansas and attempt his transfer? And if so, how long would the process be? What woukd the process be?
Secondly, if he were to attempt to abscond, what would the possible consequences be? What would it be if he absconded and registered in another state (sex offense, lvl 1)?
Third, what would the consequences be if we were to get legally married even though our relationship was denied in the beginning? It was denied indefinitely and I personally find that inhumane to keep two people who love each other apart, especially since we are both consenting adults and I am not a victim of anything.
I am really just confused, lost, and broken as to what to do and how to go about his parole. Honestly, all we want is to just be together and he won't mind what he has to do or how long he has to handle his parole for. We just simply want to be together but unfortunately, we cannot be... We love each other deeply and everything right now has been extremely exhausting and difficult. Any answers and/or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.
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Old 07-22-2019, 06:00 AM
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Welcome to Prison Talk. A parole transfer to Kansas would require an Interstate Parole Compact approval. Absconding when caught (not if, when) is likely to return him to prison, possibly with new charges too.
https://www.interstatecompact.org/
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Old 07-22-2019, 06:31 AM
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Quote:
Could we get legally married here in Kansas and attempt his transfer? And if so, how long would the process be? What woukd the process be?
Secondly, if he were to attempt to abscond, what would the possible consequences be? What would it be if he absconded and registered in another state (sex offense, lvl 1)?
Third, what would the consequences be if we were to get legally married even though our relationship was denied in the beginning? It was denied indefinitely and I personally find that inhumane to keep two people who love each other apart, especially since we are both consenting adults and I am not a victim of anything.
I am really just confused, lost, and broken as to what to do and how to go about his parole. Honestly, all we want is to just be together and he won't mind what he has to do or how long he has to handle his parole for. We just simply want to be together but unfortunately, we cannot be... We love each other deeply and everything right now has been extremely exhausting and difficult. Any answers and/or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.
I'd like to clarify that in Oregon, sex offenses fall under Measure 11 - which means that, unless he was sentenced prior to 1 April 1995, he is not technically on parole, he's on post-release supervision. He does not owe the state any more time. That also means that any violation is automatically a new offense.

1. To get married in KS, he would have to get permission from his PO to visit KS AND to marry you. Without this permission, he would be in violation and could end up back in prison with new charges.

Since marriages are accepted at the federal level, why not come to Oregon and get married here? No reason you have to do anything more than take a 5 day vacation, come out, marry at the courthouse, be done with it. At least then you're married.

2. Then you can attempt to get an interstate compact to get him transferred to KS. This may not be a good thing for him - Oregon is pretty easy to live in as a sex offender (as these things go). But it could be done if he wants to move somewhere more difficult to get by. If he absconds while still under supervision, it is a new crime and he will be charged and sentenced with a new crime and go back to prison. If he were to abscond then register in a different state, he would be more easily caught absconding. I strongly urge the two of you to not go that route. It will be more headache and more heartache AND you may be seen as complicit and since it would be an interstate crime, you would be complicit at the federal level which means that when the dust settled, he'd be in prison on Oregon and you'd be in a federal prison somewhere. Really a bad idea.

3) Did his PO deny your ability to marry? Who denied "the relationship" and in what manner was it denied? Were you claiming spousal rights when he wasn't your spouse or did his PO say he wasn't allowed to marry you or that he wasn't allowed to marry at all or that he wasn't allowed to live with someone with underage children still living at home? I'd need more information to give a reasonable reply to this question.

Short answer: if his PO said "[former inmate] and Lillyth are not allowed to marry or cohabitate or be in a conjugal relationship", then there is no getting around that. If you do violate what the PO has written down (check with your loved one to see what's in writing), then he goes back to prison if he gets caught.

Out of curiousity, why can't you move to Oregon? That would simplify a lot of things for him/you/your future.
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Old 08-08-2019, 10:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillyth980 View Post
My boyfriend is currently on parole and I have a few questions I would love answers to, please help!
We would like to transfer him from Oregon to Kansas but he has no immediate family here, and we are not married just yet. Could we get legally married here in Kansas and attempt his transfer? And if so, how long would the process be? What woukd the process be?
Secondly, if he were to attempt to abscond, what would the possible consequences be? What would it be if he absconded and registered in another state (sex offense, lvl 1)?
Third, what would the consequences be if we were to get legally married even though our relationship was denied in the beginning? It was denied indefinitely and I personally find that inhumane to keep two people who love each other apart, especially since we are both consenting adults and I am not a victim of anything.
I am really just confused, lost, and broken as to what to do and how to go about his parole. Honestly, all we want is to just be together and he won't mind what he has to do or how long he has to handle his parole for. We just simply want to be together but unfortunately, we cannot be... We love each other deeply and everything right now has been extremely exhausting and difficult. Any answers and/or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.
I dont think abscoding is a good idea.
I have a question how could they deny your relationship? Is that really possible for them to do?
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Old 08-09-2019, 05:11 AM
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PO's do have the right to deny a relationship - to include not allowing a parent to live with their under-18 child, not allowing a spouse to live with their spouse, not allowing a person to date other people etc.

They can also deny living accommodations, internet usage, and what a person needs to do/say when applying for a job. They can rule out certain types of work and they can send a person back to prison if the person does not follow the rules the PO has written down.

It's simply a different kind of prison, with the rules being set by one person and often seeming arbitrary.
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