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View Poll Results: Different Religions...Does it matter?
Yes 65 56.52%
No 32 27.83%
It doesn't matter...one of us will convert if we need to. 5 4.35%
I don't know...I never really thought about it. 1 0.87%
Maybe 12 10.43%
Voters: 115. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 08-15-2008, 01:31 PM
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Default Different Religions...Does it Matter?

Ladies: I thought long and hard before I decided to post this. But I'm curious. My guy & I are two different religions, both Christians but still different, but now that he is giving himself to God more I often wonder how that will affect us when he gets out. He is Baptist. I am Catholic.

So here are my questions:
Are you both the same religion or different?

If you are different religions:
Do you ever wonder how that will affect you both when he gets out?
Would you convert?
Would he?
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:39 PM
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This is always a good topic. As i had mentioned a while ago me and Boo are total opposite ends of the religous spectrum. He was raised Jehova Witness, but he aint been in a Kingdom Hall since he was a child and I was rasied Baptist but now have converted to an African based religion (non-mainstream).
I sent him books to read but its better to be in the mix practicing because books are always one mans interpretation. His love for me has opned him up to other forms of worship but as far as either of us converting I dont see that as a need. He has become very spiritual but is not into structered religion any more and tho my religion has structure its very individual.
It might depend onthe two religions. Like if he was Muslim that would be cause for a conversion,,no way around it in my eyes (and yes I was Muslim for a few years as well).
Not sure if there is need for concern between baptist and catholic however I know nothing about being catholic.
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:45 PM
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We are the same religion (Muslim). And yes it would be a problem if we weren't. I don't believe there will be a major difference in our household, other then him maybe being a bit harder on us (the children and I) than he is now. As a Muslimah I couldn't be with him if he wasn't Muslim.

I think this is a very interesting topic too!
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:57 PM
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Thank you for this topic! We were just discussing this the other week at visiting, to me it would make a difference, I believe you should be the same religion, i think it would be hard if you weren't, to many different beliefs. That doesn't mean that in a Christian relationship there isn't different beliefs, but i think if you can come to an aggreance (sp?) on what you two believe in then it will work, I personally couldn't have a relationship where there were two different religions. I am a Christian, my man and i were raised in the same church together. Now we are relearning our faith and religion it has been good for us to discuss religion!
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Old 08-15-2008, 02:00 PM
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This is definitely an issue, for me, and my love, right now, and probably always will be. I am studying to become a Jehovahs witness and the only thing tht has prolonged my baptism is the issues I had with separating myself from him in a relationship and our desires to get married..one day. So here we stand, because he believes in God, considers himself to practice the lifestyle of a Rasta in some aspects, and is totally supportive of me in whatever i choose to do. I thought this was great, but apparently it wasn't good enough. Since we met, i've been praying that what i was learning he would take to as well, and though he has in some ways, I don't see him converting right now, but I can't put myself on hold for him to. So, i'm going ahead, and still pray pray pray for him to have a pleasing heart that Jehovah can use. And continually send him literature. hehe. I guess to some people it is or isn't a big deal, i just wish it wasn't an issue. but now that i'm in a religion that has sound grounding, i see the importance of it. I guess the prison situation is what complicates it, because its a part of life that no one sees, so they don't see my committment to it as much, or that importance put into that life. ahhhhhh.
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Old 08-15-2008, 02:13 PM
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We are both Muslim. If we were not of the same religion I would have never got involved. I dated Muslim men even before I converted, it was just something about them that I have always been attracted too. My 1st husband 10 years ago was Muslim also.
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Old 08-15-2008, 02:46 PM
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Very interesting thread.
I'm a Buddhist, and husband is a Christian, albeit one who doesn't go to church nor try to force his beliefs on others. We get along just great and have much respect for what each others' faith brings to the table.
He worships in his way, privately, and shows his devotion and love for his God in the respectful and loving way he treats other people. He was burned by his church and lost faith for a while. Now he's found a way to make a connection with his God on his own.
For me, Buddhism is a way of life, a philosophy; it doesn't require worship of or faith in some unseen being in the sky. Instead, it forces me to open my eyes to the oneness of us all. It helps to remind me to keep compassion and respect at the forefront of my thoughts and actions.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:02 PM
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Like in Wobabi's situation...my man was raised as a Witness. His mother converted their family when he and his siblings were young children from Catholicism. I'm a non-denominational Christian (I subscribe to bits and pieces of a lot of religions and use my own eyes and mind to read and interpret scripture for myself. I don't need a particular denomination to associate myself with so I can be boxed in with "group think" principles). Accordingly, (obviously), my man and I have had issues surrounding this with his family (his mom) and their beliefs (and knowing that there is absolutely NO WAY that I am converting to be a JW)...but we talked about it in depth and I gave him my opinion on this.

He said his parents were "concerned" about our relationship/future marriage because they feared I would try to stop him from believing according to the JW doctrines...if he wanted to go back to being a fully practicing Witness upon his release (which is their hope). Well, that couldn't be further from the truth. While I don't subscribe to all of the things that faith preaches, I respect another person's right to embrace it for their lives.

I believe FULLLLLLLYYYYYY that a person's relationship with their Creator (or whatever being or mystifying power they choose to believe in) is PERSONAL! It's a relationship that shouldn't have anything to do with me as long as both people are SIMILARLY yoked. It is my belief that if you believe in something larger or more omnipotent than yourself...then, technically, we are all believing in the same entity...only we call Him (or "Her" for some folks) by different names and interpret The Word in a way that fits most like what we want to believe exists.

We've discussed the issue of medical issues that may occur during our marriage and we will write it all down before our wedding so it is understod before we enter into our union that we will respect each others beliefs when it comes to blood products/medical intervention or final arrangements in the event of one another's passing. I love him so much, and I care to honor and respect the things he believes will happen to his soul if he taints his lifeblood. I am willing to let him go if the only way he can stay here with me is to get a blood transfusion. It's really as simple as that. Similarly, he is to love, honor and respect me and my wishes enough to allow for a transfusion if it will save my life. He is not to refuse it for ME beause of his beliefs just as I won't allow it for HIM to agree with mine.

I believe that if I want to light candles and confess my sins in a booth, or sit cross legged and chant, or pray towards Mecca many times a day, or any of the other multitudes of things people do to Honor their God...my man should not feel like I need to talk to, communicate with, honor, or worship my Creator the EXACT SAME WAY he does. My relationship with God is about me...my soul...my salvation...and my afterlife just like my man's relationship with Jehovah God is about his soul, etc. He has to be true to himself and I think when couples want to force the other person to think/do/worship the same exact way as they do, when they don't naturally, is what brings about some anger and hostility in some unions. I know I would be extra pissed DAILY if he tried to forcefeed the JW faith on me and I know he'd be pissed if I tried to make his beliefs seem wrong or trivial. Why can't he believe what he wants to without that being a reflection on me and vice versa?

How can anybody be wrong in what they believe when nobody's been returned to the earth after a long death with proof, videos, pictures, soil/cloud/fire samples or whatnot to say, "This is the answer to what happens after we all die." Really...no matter what we think, NO ONE, unieqivocally knows what happens when this life is over. We can only speculate on the options by using context clues in whatever "manual" our religion dictates we study and follow. We just have decided to pick a religious order that feels like the right answer...which I think is everyone's right.

I don't give anyone any literature and I don't take anyone's literature. I think folks should live a life that may make others want to discover their faith system by example and not by forcefeeding books, pamphlets, flyers and all that other stuff down other people's throats (not a blow to JW's...because there are more churches that do the same thing: Mormons/Latter Day Saints, etc.). I think if you want to have a close and fulfilling relationship with your Creator, you have to seek Him on your own. You shouldn't be lead. You should take all the tomes of spirituality and study them all. You should do that WITH YOURSELF and WITHOUT ANYONE ELSE'S influence.

If he and I were to have children, honestly, I'd want for us to raise them to go to both places of worship and make their own decisions, eventually. I would agree if they went with one or the other of the religions his/her parents followed or maybe found another one they were empassioned about...as long as it was based in a belief system. While I agree that people have the right to NOT believe in a "God"...that is not an option for my offspring. Again, my whole thing is this is a relationship that is personal.

I'm pretty sure I don't think a person who believes in something should be with a person who believes in nothing....but when both people believe in some being of power that is over their life and over the universe...they should be able to peacefully coincide without necessarily subscribing to the exact same direct religion. A family that prays together stays together...they just don't have to pray to the same "NAME" as long as they are both putting a higher being of soverignty, peace, love, and respect over their home, relationship, family, and marriage...what could go wrong?

Sorry, y'all know I am long-winded, but I definitely had to get all that out.

Have a great night.
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Old 08-16-2008, 08:02 AM
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Well said JG's Baby Girl.
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Old 08-19-2008, 07:31 PM
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Wow! I'm happy I found this.

I've put the marriage on hold until we get this settled.

Background:

My love was born to a Seventh-Day Adventist mother and a Rastafarian father. He was raised praciticing as a Christian Rastafarian.

I was born to a Christian family...some Baptists, some non-denominational, some Rastafarians. I was raised in a Baptist Church, then I was raised to be a Christian Rastafarian. As a young woman, I converted to Islam, and then back to Christianity---Adventist.

I left the Rasta 'church' I was attending some years back, but have since began that walk again...this time with my focus also on Jesus Christ...not just God. My love, my fiancee', definitely believes in God, and will praise Him when I bring up Jesus, but he's been influenced recently by a 'branch' of the Rastafari lifestyle that doesnt believe Jesus is the King of Kings. They believe that Haile Selassie from Ethiopia was God as a man on earth.

My fiancee won't call Selassie God, but he still feels connected to those that do.

I am praying that God reveals the answer to the question. I know He's placed us together, and I know that one day we will get married---what I dont know about is the 'in between time.' I don't want to marry someone that I am not equally yoked up with.

Any thoughts?
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Old 08-24-2008, 07:34 PM
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Default Same background different denominations

We are both Pentecostal. He has been in the Assembly of God Pentecostal Church and I was raised United Pentecostal. We both have the same beliefs, the same worship and prayer practices. We both have a relationship with our Heavenly Father and we do not put our faith in the "religion" but more so in the RELATIONSHIP. People can say what they want to....there is a special bond in marriages and couples that believe the same, worship the same, pray the same, and that keep their relationship with God priority over the relationship they have with each other. I have found that for the first time in my life staying within the confines of my spiritual beliefs has proven that there is strength in our relationship with each other as well as our relationship with God.
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Old 08-25-2008, 05:23 AM
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I've been praying about this particular subject, and I think I found my answer:

Both my fiance and I have a relationship with God the Father and while our walks aren't identical, we both serve Him to achieve the same goal. It's important as we continue to develop our relationship.

I wouldn't call us too "religious" because I think that takes away from the RELATIONSHIP (thank you Frontlinelady!)...

So, when I first answered MAYBE, I was thinking along the lines of...."Well, he and I aren't EXACTLY the same in our walk..." But since then God has revealed some things.

I know Im rambling, but these thoughts have been in my head for a few days now....
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Old 08-25-2008, 05:31 AM
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My hubby and I have had this conversation a thousand times during our years together. He is Muslim and I am Christian. Yes, I know that this subject has been debated forever. We have been able to maintain spirituality in our marriage because of mutual respect for one another's beliefs. I think this has been esy too because he is still there and I am out here.

We have now started to revisit the conversation more intensely because he will be home in 6 months so we need to figure out what spirituality looks like in our marriage out here in the real world.
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Old 08-25-2008, 07:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frontlinelady View Post
We are both Pentecostal. He has been in the Assembly of God Pentecostal Church and I was raised United Pentecostal. We both have the same beliefs, the same worship and prayer practices. We both have a relationship with our Heavenly Father and we do not put our faith in the "religion" but more so in the RELATIONSHIP. People can say what they want to....there is a special bond in marriages and couples that believe the same, worship the same, pray the same, and that keep their relationship with God priority over the relationship they have with each other. I have found that for the first time in my life staying within the confines of my spiritual beliefs has proven that there is strength in our relationship with each other as well as our relationship with God.
I 100% agree with you on that. This is an issue for me.

I, myself, am in a Pentecostal church, while he is Muslim. Religion...wait, let me rephrase that....a RELATIONSHIP with God was never an interest to him prior to his incarceration. Isn't that how it always seems to go in most cases? But, hey, if incarceration is what it takes for God to FINALLY get your attention, then I'm all for it. The true test of an inmates faith/relationship will come when those doors open and he is back out in society. Will he continue to build that relationship, or will he turn loose of his relationship with God and backslide?

Since his incarceration, my Hadi first "tried" Christianity, didn't agree with certain gospels, thought the Bible was contradictory(I don't agree), and chose Islam. A HUGE deciding factor is that Hadi was born into the Muslim faith.(he just never paid it no mind, until now) His father is Muslim, as well as many other family members.

So, because of his choice, and mine....we don't believe the same, worship the same, pray the same. I don't like that. I want us to come together in agreement and do all of those things....TOGETHER. The Bible says...how can two come together unless they agree.
I do not want to be unequally yolked and in constant disagreement with my mate. Especially when I don't have to be. There are enough issues to deal with in a relationship and the way I wan't to battle those issues is in our SHARED faith.

So....I am at a crossroads. I am letting go and letting God.
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Old 08-25-2008, 04:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jlzkmm View Post
Ladies: I thought long and hard before I decided to post this. But I'm curious. My guy & I are two different religions, both Christians but still different, but now that he is giving himself to God more I often wonder how that will affect us when he gets out. He is Baptist. I am Catholic.

So here are my questions:
Are you both the same religion or different?

If you are different religions:
Do you ever wonder how that will affect you both when he gets out?
Would you convert?
Would he?
My husband and I are of the same faith, bible believing Christians. I guess if I were in your shoes, being baptist and Catholic would be too different for me. I mean, solely because of the fact that Christians believe in placing full faith on what Christ did on the cross (shedding blood for the remission of our sins) for salvation. Catholics are taught that forgiveness is obtained via penance and are taught they have to work for grace. Grace is given to me by simply trusting in Christ. I don't think my husband and I could've been together if he were of a different faith. Especially if he were something like Muslim and I'm Christian. My faith teaches that one is hell bound if he/she does not accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. Muslim's don't believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God but that he was a simple prophet. That is wayyy too big a difference. If Jesus Christ was not the sinless son of God born of a virgin, he couldn't die for me on the cross. And if you don't believe that Jesus died for the remission of sins, as I said, my faith teaches (the bible teaches) that your eternity rests in Hell. It'd be too hard for me to bear knowing my husband is going to Hell and I wouldn't see him in Heaven. That's what comforts me when people die that I know were saved, seeing them again. If we differ in that one area, I couldn't do it. Thankfully, I don't have to.
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Old 09-01-2008, 03:09 PM
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Default The crossroads

Letting go and letting God is hard to do sometimes but I agree with you sister! You brought up some awesome points in this post!
I believe this post will help many who have these questions...but the important thing to remember is: IT IS ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD and WE HAVE STOP LOOKING AT THE RITUALISTIC NATURE OF RELIGION!
I am fortunate to have someone that has been taught and practiced the same religion as I have...yes, but if he were Baptist or Catholic or something different as far as the ritual goes but he had a strong relationship with God...I believe that the marriage would be blessed...it would be more challenging I am sure. For as many challenges as life presents I am glad it is not our beliefs that is one of them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss_A View Post
I 100% agree with you on that. This is an issue for me.

I, myself, am in a Pentecostal church, while he is Muslim. Religion...wait, let me rephrase that....a RELATIONSHIP with God was never an interest to him prior to his incarceration. Isn't that how it always seems to go in most cases? But, hey, if incarceration is what it takes for God to FINALLY get your attention, then I'm all for it. The true test of an inmates faith/relationship will come when those doors open and he is back out in society. Will he continue to build that relationship, or will he turn loose of his relationship with God and backslide?

Since his incarceration, my Hadi first "tried" Christianity, didn't agree with certain gospels, thought the Bible was contradictory(I don't agree), and chose Islam. A HUGE deciding factor is that Hadi was born into the Muslim faith.(he just never paid it no mind, until now) His father is Muslim, as well as many other family members.

So, because of his choice, and mine....we don't believe the same, worship the same, pray the same. I don't like that. I want us to come together in agreement and do all of those things....TOGETHER. The Bible says...how can two come together unless they agree.
I do not want to be unequally yolked and in constant disagreement with my mate. Especially when I don't have to be. There are enough issues to deal with in a relationship and the way I wan't to battle those issues is in our SHARED faith.

So....I am at a crossroads. I am letting go and letting God.
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Old 09-04-2008, 10:32 AM
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I think it makes things easier when you both are part of the same religion. My husband is Muslim and I was christian ( I guess you would say ). I wasnt raised in a church and didnt attend much in my life, but after he asked me to learn about it then if I didnt want to be muslim that was fine, we would work it out... Meaning, we would have differences but they could always be resolved. After learning about islam for a few years I felt a connection and surprised him by a surprise visit and announcing that I had done the shahada. It was the best decision. Even if we were not able to make it in the marriage I would stay with Islam. And, divorce isnt an option so good thing we like and love each other so much!!!
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:29 PM
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My fiance is Muslim and I am Christian. We have already discussed our views and standpoints and have both agreed that religion is one's own choice to serve God how they see fit. Afterall, he can't pay for my sins and I can't pay for his. I am very comfortable with our arrangement.
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jlzkmm View Post
Ladies: I thought long and hard before I decided to post this. But I'm curious. My guy & I are two different religions, both Christians but still different, but now that he is giving himself to God more I often wonder how that will affect us when he gets out. He is Baptist. I am Catholic.

So here are my questions:
Are you both the same religion or different?

If you are different religions:
Do you ever wonder how that will affect you both when he gets out?
Would you convert?
Would he?
I was born Christian and raised in a southern baptist family all my life until I was around 22 I started studying Islam. The funny thing is Tony had told me 3 years before that he was Muslim I blew my lid and I was furious because there was no way I was going to go away from God and Jesus Christ because I just knew I would be damned to hell. He never asked me to convert he just asked that I respected that he was Muslim and asked that I not have pork in our house and no alchcol and I agreed because those were small things and were not that major to me. I was afraid to have children and him wanting to no be baptized. But needless to say after 2 years of study and thought I became Muslim on Oct 12 2001 unknown to him he was one of the last people I told because my converting to Islam had nothing to do with him.
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:56 PM
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It is important to me being with and in a relationship a christian as myself.But the thing is you don't choose who you fall in love with no matter what their beliefs are.

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Old 04-17-2009, 07:31 PM
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we are the same religion, he converted...

i personally would have a difficult time being with someone who wasn't of the same religion as me. and now i'm very happy that we made the choice and settled this issue long ago because his faith and strength has really helped us out so much, thank God we're praying the same prayer...

i think if people are truly able to have a relationship while maintaining different religions, then it's ok...but i also believe that those who are devoted to their religion will eventually encounter issues with a mate of a different belief system. but again, i believe this depends on how devoted the parties are to their religions.

just my opinion!
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Old 04-19-2009, 12:52 AM
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i don't think it needs to be a problem. when i got married i was basically an atheist and my girl was/is Catholic. when i went to prison i was looking for some direction in my life and I became a Christian (but non-denominational).

I respect my wife's faith and she respects mine and was even happy that I was able to find God and peace in my heart. love and mutual respect for one another is the key.
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Old 05-24-2009, 06:52 PM
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We are different but most of the smae beliefs i told him that this wont work because of this i didnt know that we wernt the same when we got together i assumed he was a christain, so i tryed to break it off but he didnt want to so i asked him what will we teach our kids he said i can teach them what i like but in the end they have the choice. Lol as long as he doesnt try to force his beliefs on me then we will be cool..
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Old 05-24-2009, 06:56 PM
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I personally think it does matter because for us believing the same has been a huge blessing.
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Old 05-26-2009, 06:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jlzkmm View Post
Ladies: I thought long and hard before I decided to post this. But I'm curious. My guy & I are two different religions, both Christians but still different, but now that he is giving himself to God more I often wonder how that will affect us when he gets out. He is Baptist. I am Catholic.

So here are my questions:
Are you both the same religion or different?

If you are different religions:
Do you ever wonder how that will affect you both when he gets out?
Would you convert?
Would he?
We are different religions right now. He is baptist I am pentecostal. He told me when he gets out he will come to my church and try it out and maybe convert. I personally wouldn't convert unless he showed me something that was in the bible that my church was doing wrong. He said there is only one thing he doesn't believe in that my church does and we will debate on it and then see who is going to which church. I told him it mattered that we believed different because when we have kids we wouldnt have a united front. We need to both believe the same things in order to grow. Granted we pray together and lift one another up with scripture now. Hope that helped
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