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  #1  
Old 09-08-2018, 12:17 PM
lucygirl36 lucygirl36 is offline
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Default My Brother Has Been Arrested for Domestic Violence

My brother was arrested this past Labor Day for beating my mother and stepfather. My brother is a long time alcoholic and drug addict. He has been living with my mother, stepfather and grandmother for years since his divorce. His drug abuse escalated into violence against others and Monday was a result of that. He is in South Placer County Jail in Roseville, CA. I am not sure if he was charged with a misdemeanor or felony, but he has been in jail since Monday and will remain until Thursday the 13th for a hearing. My question is, what should we expect? Is it possible he could be released from jail after the 13th. I am looking for any advice or information. My parents are in touch with a victim's advocate, but they are hard to communicate with when it comes to details. I am going to visit my brother tomorrow morning. This is a tragic situation and my hope is that he gets help and goes to rehab after all of this. Any feedback is much appreciated.

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Old 09-08-2018, 03:47 PM
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Expect that he won’t be allowed to go near his victim(s) even if he is released. An order of protection will be in place and any parole/probation/bail will also include the condition that he stays 500-1000 feet away from his victims. He will have to find a different place to live.

You and your family should engage in domestic violence therapy at your local shelter, and should engage in Al Anon for help understanding addiction and support in not enabling an alcoholic/addict. Support is important. Further, no court is going to let him come anywhere near you all unless he engages in counseling and you do, too, separately.

The rest depends on the charge, whether there was any permanent damage, the age of the victim(s) as over a certain age, most states enhance domestic violence charges or the punishment, whether he has the funds for a full defense including immediate detox and rehab, expert witnesses, and the like, or he has a PD and gets a more standard defense.

And, if he has no place to go, don’t expect him to bail out.
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  #3  
Old 09-08-2018, 06:32 PM
lucygirl36 lucygirl36 is offline
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Will mandatory rehab be part of his sentencing. What kind of help is available for him?

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Expect that he won’t be allowed to go near his victim(s) even if he is released. An order of protection will be in place and any parole/probation/bail will also include the condition that he stays 500-1000 feet away from his victims. He will have to find a different place to live.

You and your family should engage in domestic violence therapy at your local shelter, and should engage in Al Anon for help understanding addiction and support in not enabling an alcoholic/addict. Support is important. Further, no court is going to let him come anywhere near you all unless he engages in counseling and you do, too, separately.

The rest depends on the charge, whether there was any permanent damage, the age of the victim(s) as over a certain age, most states enhance domestic violence charges or the punishment, whether he has the funds for a full defense including immediate detox and rehab, expert witnesses, and the like, or he has a PD and gets a more standard defense.

And, if he has no place to go, don’t expect him to bail out.
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Old 09-09-2018, 04:20 AM
xolady xolady is offline
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I'd be more worried about my parents and grandmother. Your brother is right where he belongs. If there is a restraining order in place you might want to back off and stay away from your brother. You might be unknowingly violating the restraining order. I know it's hard when it's your family but you need to get some help in how and what you can do. Sorry your dealing with this I hope and pray your family can get some decent help.
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Old 09-09-2018, 06:29 AM
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If you were not involved or there at the time of this, I dont think you are covered in the restraining order.
Also, I'd not allow him to live with you either.
Im sorry this happened.
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Old 09-09-2018, 08:06 AM
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If you were not involved or there at the time of this, I dont think you are covered in the restraining order.
Also, I'd not allow him to live with you either.
Im sorry this happened.
It can be a violation of a restraining order, contact thru a third party!!! Her being the third party. She needs to find out if she is included and seriously follow the law aside from domestic violence, elder abuse will probably come into this also.
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Old 09-09-2018, 08:14 AM
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True xolady.
As long as she does not pass info from one party to the next she would be ok.
(that would be HARD for me to do)
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Old 09-09-2018, 08:25 AM
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It would be very hard but she needs to stay out of the crossfire!!! Well even innocent sounding questions or answers can be used against you. Also he's going to try to defend himself and generally that means people will use whoever they can to get what they want even if it hurts others!!!

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Old 09-09-2018, 08:55 AM
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Thank you for the thoughts and concerns. My number one concern and priority is that my parents and grandmother are safe and we all pull together as a family to love and support each other. There is a restraining order and a NO contact order for one year for my parents. I was inquiring about rehab for my brother. He needs help and has never been in a situation where he would think about getting it because he has always been high and has not had to suffer any severe consequences when he gets into trouble. He did not have an easy life, he has MS and a father in prison. He has been self medicating since he was 13 years old. I agree he cannot live with any of us and must choose to seek out help, but I wanted to know what was available for him while he is in this vulnerable position. If he doesn't get help after this he is lost to us. I don't have a problem cutting him off but I want to give him one chance. Will the judge mandate rehab?
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Old 09-09-2018, 05:11 PM
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Depending on the actual prison system, treatment may be available to him. If he eventually ends up on either parole or probation, his supervising PO is able to require him to complete things like anger management/drug treatment, etc. under the threat of a return to prison if he doesn't.

As you already know, forced treatments won't help unless the individual decides he truly wants to change. The most important thing is for you and your parents to stay safe, whatever that entails.
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Old 09-09-2018, 05:20 PM
lucygirl36 lucygirl36 is offline
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Thank you. He is not in prison, he is in county jail and he will be charged with two misdemeanors. I would have liked to see him charged with felony assault. He has a pre-trial Thursday so I don't know what his sentencing will be yet. I would like a judge to suggest rehab, but you are right he has to want to go and to admit he has a problem and he is not admitting that at this time. Our father is in Chino and has been since I was 15 and my brother was 13. Our father is in prison for double homicide, he is a paranoid schizophrenic and his illness put him there. Like I said, my brother has not had it easy and has been on drugs since age 13 or younger. It is really sad to see someone ruin their lives and others.
Thank you all for your replies and information and I hear your message loud and clear. I am just hoping for a brighter side to all of this.
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