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  #26  
Old 01-23-2018, 01:38 PM
stepsonscrewdup stepsonscrewdup is offline
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Originally Posted by miamac View Post
It makes my heart sad that this is the type of fear people live in. And how lucky are we all that background checks only show what we've been convicted of. It would be a terrible and lonely world if it showed the whole picture.
It's not me living in fear, it's basic prevention to keep my kids and I safer.

I'm not hiring a sex offender as a babysitter, or letting someone with a lifelong history of drug conventions as a roommate, or letting a new friend who turns out to be a serial killer come to dinner with my kids, or hiring an employee with a ID theft or fraud conviction as my accountant. Background checking the people regularly involved in my life tells me these things.

Background checks tell part of the story, as does getting to know them. The 'how' and the 'when' of their background check count.
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  #27  
Old 01-23-2018, 01:50 PM
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I was watching some true crime story out of the UK and (bear with me...) the friend of a woman suspected that the friend's husband wasn't who he said he was and she asked her "computer smart" son to try to look up any info on him. Mind you, they didn't suspect any violent crime, just that he may be using a false ID.

The man was from the US and when the son (probably Googled) his name, he was who he said he was but it did turn out he had spent some time in prison. The son's response to finding this info was, "I couldn't believe it. The state he lived in had his entire record up for the world to see!".

There are parts of the world where it's viewed as invasive and shocking to assume that a person's past is any of our business. I'm probably an outlier as a US resident, but in my heart that's more my leaning. I do understand why people do it, but it's not for me.
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  #28  
Old 01-23-2018, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by stepsonscrewdup View Post
I'm not hiring a sex offender as a babysitter, or letting someone with a lifelong history of drug conventions as a roommate, or letting a new friend who turns out to be a serial killer come to dinner with my kids, or hiring an employee with a ID theft or fraud conviction as my accountant. Background checking the people regularly involved in my life tells me these things.
Just a friendly reminder - we have members in this community who are parents, children and other family members to sex offenders, drug addicts and all kinds of felons under the sky. Please bear in mind that these people are reading these boards too and are here for support. I understand you are just explaining your reasoning behind your habit of doing background checks, but perhaps it is not necessary to go into such detail - thank you
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  #29  
Old 02-06-2018, 05:34 AM
olivertwist olivertwist is offline
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Personally, I haven't run a background check on my inmate, but you all encouraged me to perform it.
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  #30  
Old 02-06-2018, 09:07 AM
xolady xolady is offline
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Originally Posted by tdj View Post
What do you use to check their background? What program?
I don't use a program generally I ask certain questions like where they live how long and then look them up under state county records google. I also have a friend who will do lexis/nexis I think that's what it's called if needed. Also I have quite a few family and friends in who are in law enforcement. With my husbands background and mine I think my family would run them anyway if I got involved with anyone again. But I generally know what to do I can do a pretty good back ground on someone I did payroll for a huge Insurance brokerage, so I have the human resources back ground, plus I worked in property management. You'd be really surprised what pops up on some of the seemingly nicest people!!!
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  #31  
Old 02-06-2018, 10:22 AM
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I wouldn't say I did a background check but in NC if you look up their inmate information on the DOC website it tells you everything they have ever been charged with and every infraction they have gotten in prison but I'm not against doing a background check not that it would make me not be with someone or be someone's friend.
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  #32  
Old 02-06-2018, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by stepsonscrewdup View Post
I background check EVERYONE I let regularly into my life, and always will.

I background check:
- friends I let visit my house/come over for dinner regularly - long-term friends
- employees I hire
- contractors I hire personally and let inside my house (obviously can't background check the cable guy... but I don't have cable anyway)
- people I date (before the first date)
- people I let be my roommate (they get rental/etc. checks too)
- people I pen pal with

If it's a long-term relationship of any sort (friend, pen pal, someone I date, etc.), I pull EVERYTHING I can. I use public records to find a list of previous cities, and look up court records for them in each city as well as PACER. I google their names and social media. Sure, not everything shows up, but it's a good hint at who they are and what they do. You'd be surprised at the sorts of records that people have. I new friend who was an almost elderly gentleman had a charge related to children.

If I chose to pen pal with an inmate, of course I'd background check as much as I could. They could do the same and check me. If their charges were violent or related to children especially, I would likely use a nickname of my first name, not mention my spouse/kids names (or career type, company name, kid's schools or college names) and use only nicknames, not mention specific schedules (kids and I go to baseball every Friday night), and use a po box one city away from where my actual house is. Much of that I would do in general. We're complete strangers who don't know each other at all, have never met, and it's good to be careful. Oh, and they're a long-time inmate... so that's a good reason for a little caution in general. I'm very careful about what people I let in my life, as people can easily ruin a person's reputation, if not life. I still would be friends or pen pals with someone with a record, of course, depending on the level of violence of their charges, and judge each potential relationship carefully. I'm cautious, and always will be.

I understand being cautious but to do background checks on your friends? I have never done one on anyone & never had a problem. The problems I have had have been from people that would have had a clean background.

My son lost several job offers & got stood up on dates after being googled. He would be honest if he got the chance but no one ever wanted to hear the details. Before the search he was the perfect person for the job or date but one keystroke changed everything. People only focus on the sensational results. They don't read his blogs or see any of his positive accomplishments that might give them a different view of him. Once they see arrested, that's all it takes to be rejected.

I understand protecting yourself from danger but the danger you don't see is just as powerful as the one you do. In fact, most people with convictions want to stay away from trouble more than you do.
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  #33  
Old 02-08-2018, 08:26 PM
char_hart80 char_hart80 is offline
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I still did, even though he also showed me all the papers her had on everything and it all matched up, I just felt compelled to even though he was straight up honest with me, with papers and all.
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  #34  
Old 02-08-2018, 09:22 PM
Daddysgal Daddysgal is offline
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What is a good online site to do an inexpensive background check?
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  #35  
Old 02-12-2018, 02:45 AM
ll1995 ll1995 is offline
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Where are you all seeking at? Because when I google the name of my LO I can't find anything at all... And I did research like a FBI...
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  #36  
Old 02-26-2018, 05:21 PM
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I've googled my man and found out everything. He thinks its funny. I already knew everything i fould out and nothing were a suprise to me. He laughs at me cuz i always tell how i found another mugshot or site where he was mentioned. I didnt do any expensive background check. Just googled and found all the public records.
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  #37  
Old 02-26-2018, 05:29 PM
xolady xolady is offline
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Originally Posted by Lumimarja View Post
I've googled my man and found out everything. He thinks its funny. I already knew everything i fould out and nothing were a suprise to me. He laughs at me cuz i always tell how i found another mugshot or site where he was mentioned. I didnt do any expensive background check. Just googled and found all the public records.
LOL I used to just do it for fun!!! Now it's a way of life.
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  #38  
Old 02-27-2018, 09:39 PM
CenTexLyn CenTexLyn is offline
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Originally Posted by ll1995 View Post
Where are you all seeking at? Because when I google the name of my LO I can't find anything at all... And I did research like a FBI...
Not all agencies put mugshots in the public domain and the reality is that MOST arrests never make the news. Further, some cases are old enough that they predate the popularity of public domain...
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  #39  
Old 03-01-2018, 01:58 AM
stepsonscrewdup stepsonscrewdup is offline
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I understand being cautious but to do background checks on your friends? I have never done one on anyone & never had a problem. The problems I have had have been from people that would have had a clean background.
...

I understand protecting yourself from danger but the danger you don't see is just as powerful as the one you do. In fact, most people with convictions want to stay away from trouble more than you do.
People in general tend to struggle with the same weaknesses, tempted even if not acted on.

People can definitely change, and we all want to stay out of trouble- and avoid our criminal pasts. It's a very hard thing to do, especially if our pasts led us into habits of crimes.

The recidivism rate in the USA is over 76% within 5 years, and 44% for federal ex-prisoners within 5 years. It's very, very hard not to re-offend.

Yes, I have a past myself too. It's (very) hard to stay out of trouble.

I don't use background checking to automatically exclude people I hire/befriend anyone with any sort of criminal past for any sort of relationship with (personal or business).

Background checks tells me what the nature of the crimes are, if it was violent, how recent, and what to be extra careful around them/with them on.

Everyone has their own tolerance levels; personally I could/would not go camping alone with a friend who had a violent criminal past. I might socialize with that person at Habitat for Humanity or in a public place with other friends. I'm just not personally comfortable going camping alone in the mountains with them. I also wouldn't go camping alone in the mountains with someone I know who has extremely violate mood swings with a serious mental illness either. Knowing their past helps me take steps to protect myself and my family from their past and their demons. I look at how they live now and their recent history too, as well as the nature of our relationship. Recency and level of violence matters. I couldn't care less if a 50 year old handyman I hire had a DUI when he was 21 and nothing since. I'll still hire him to be my handyman. He proved he wouldn't reoffend, and a DUI decades ago wouldn't put my family/me at risk if I hire him as a handyman. I wouldn't, however, let anyone with a recent-few-decade DUI ever drive my kids around. Not even if it was their aunt/cousin/grandparent/teacher/etc., and not even for a few days. I wouldn't hire someone with a history of fraud to be my accountant, even if it was a decade ago that they laundered tens of thousands. The nature of our relationship is considered, along with the recency, repeating, and severity of their crimes.

Plenty of people come into your life as "friends" that don't have pure intentions, wanting to use you or even lure you into some business scheme. It's useful to know if my friend has a history of violence, or conning people into money laundering, or DUIs, etc. I might still be friends with the person, of course, but knowing their past is useful and lessens my risk as I can be more careful knowing their history. Our friends know the intimate details of our lives and our family's lives. We bring them into our home, sometimes unattended, or late night when alone. That's risky. Knowing their past helps. If someone has a record of sex offenses with minors, knowing their background helps me know to not bring them around my kids in our home, or leave them alone with my kids. I can better protect myself and my family know a person's history.

People I do business with or befriend probably look me up too-- and would know I have a long history of fairly poor financial decisions and some mental health woes. No one should hire me as an accountant, for example.

Our past experiences aren't a guarantee of our future- or repeating our crimes- but repeat offenses or some offenses make certain relationships with a person risky. I know a ex-con with serious long-term repeat drug offenses and a murder charge. He's a talented handyman. His criminal past doesn't affect him as a handyman. He just isn't going to be ever hired anywhere as a babysitter or pharmacist, he'd never clear background checks for those jobs. People with poor credit like me would mean that I would make a terrible accountant, for example-- just like someone with a violent past is not going to clear the daycare's background check.

Background checks, along with recency, repeat of crimes or not, severity of crimes are all part of the overall consideration-- and what nature our relationship is (friends, neighbors, if I'm hiring someone as my babysitter vs. my handyman, etc.).

I am much less worried about someone with zero criminal history who is 50 years old committing a crime against me than 30 year old person with many years of repeat offenses- such as violent fights and theft of property and repeat breaking and entering charges- since they were 18 committing a crime against me. The 50 year old has never committed a crime; it's simply statistically unlikely that she will start committing crimes now. The 30 year old repeat offender is a much greater risk, as they have the history of repeat offenses. Who would you hire as your housesitter when you're on vacation- the 50 year old who has never committed a crime, or the 30 year old who has continuous charges since he was 18 of breaking and entering/theft of property? Previous crimes = much more statistically risky in this situation. Nature of relationship matters- hiring the 30 year old to mow your lawn/fix your mailbox outside while you're home some people would consider more easily. Nature of crime and the nature of relationship matters.

Like I said, the nature of the relationship (business, personal, what type of business/job I'm hiring for) along with the recency, nature, type, repeat, etc. of crimes matters. A lot.

My family trusts their ex-con friends with open arms, hiring them and trying to help them out. They have had many thousands of dollars worth of things stolen from their home over the years. Just last year an antique silverware set and antique grandfather clock was stolen. They've had to call the cops on several who got drunk and violent on them while staying with them (family offered free rent to ex-cons to try to help them out). They had to call the police as the situation had become unsafe and violent Plenty of their ex-con friends were honest kind and helpful, truly wanting a fresh start and never stealing from them. There were, however, a few bad eggs among the ex-cons they've known who were truly trying to make a fresh start.

I've never had one thing stolen from my house or office by any contractor, employee, babysitter, handyman, house guest, friend, etc. Ever. Not one. I've never been lunged at or had anyone turn violent on me. Ever. Background checks help me decide who to allow into my home and into my life- along with getting to know the person, looking at their recent life/how they live, going with my gut instinct, and taking some precautions.

It's very hard to make a fresh start and stay out of trouble- I would know. Been there, done that, not bought the t-shirt. Takes constant caution and commitment over a lifetime, but thankfully i've kept my nose out of any trouble for well over a decade.

Last edited by stepsonscrewdup; 03-01-2018 at 02:03 AM..
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