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  #26  
Old 01-23-2018, 01:38 PM
stepsonscrewdup stepsonscrewdup is offline
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Originally Posted by miamac View Post
It makes my heart sad that this is the type of fear people live in. And how lucky are we all that background checks only show what we've been convicted of. It would be a terrible and lonely world if it showed the whole picture.
It's not me living in fear, it's basic prevention to keep my kids and I safer.

I'm not hiring a sex offender as a babysitter, or letting someone with a lifelong history of drug conventions as a roommate, or letting a new friend who turns out to be a serial killer come to dinner with my kids, or hiring an employee with a ID theft or fraud conviction as my accountant. Background checking the people regularly involved in my life tells me these things.

Background checks tell part of the story, as does getting to know them. The 'how' and the 'when' of their background check count.
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  #27  
Old 01-23-2018, 01:50 PM
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I was watching some true crime story out of the UK and (bear with me...) the friend of a woman suspected that the friend's husband wasn't who he said he was and she asked her "computer smart" son to try to look up any info on him. Mind you, they didn't suspect any violent crime, just that he may be using a false ID.

The man was from the US and when the son (probably Googled) his name, he was who he said he was but it did turn out he had spent some time in prison. The son's response to finding this info was, "I couldn't believe it. The state he lived in had his entire record up for the world to see!".

There are parts of the world where it's viewed as invasive and shocking to assume that a person's past is any of our business. I'm probably an outlier as a US resident, but in my heart that's more my leaning. I do understand why people do it, but it's not for me.
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  #28  
Old 01-23-2018, 02:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepsonscrewdup View Post
I'm not hiring a sex offender as a babysitter, or letting someone with a lifelong history of drug conventions as a roommate, or letting a new friend who turns out to be a serial killer come to dinner with my kids, or hiring an employee with a ID theft or fraud conviction as my accountant. Background checking the people regularly involved in my life tells me these things.
Just a friendly reminder - we have members in this community who are parents, children and other family members to sex offenders, drug addicts and all kinds of felons under the sky. Please bear in mind that these people are reading these boards too and are here for support. I understand you are just explaining your reasoning behind your habit of doing background checks, but perhaps it is not necessary to go into such detail - thank you
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  #29  
Old 02-06-2018, 05:34 AM
olivertwist olivertwist is offline
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Personally, I haven't run a background check on my inmate, but you all encouraged me to perform it.
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  #30  
Old 02-06-2018, 09:07 AM
xolady xolady is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tdj View Post
What do you use to check their background? What program?
I don't use a program generally I ask certain questions like where they live how long and then look them up under state county records google. I also have a friend who will do lexis/nexis I think that's what it's called if needed. Also I have quite a few family and friends in who are in law enforcement. With my husbands background and mine I think my family would run them anyway if I got involved with anyone again. But I generally know what to do I can do a pretty good back ground on someone I did payroll for a huge Insurance brokerage, so I have the human resources back ground, plus I worked in property management. You'd be really surprised what pops up on some of the seemingly nicest people!!!
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  #31  
Old 02-06-2018, 10:22 AM
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I wouldn't say I did a background check but in NC if you look up their inmate information on the DOC website it tells you everything they have ever been charged with and every infraction they have gotten in prison but I'm not against doing a background check not that it would make me not be with someone or be someone's friend.
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  #32  
Old 02-06-2018, 10:31 AM
GaReform GaReform is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepsonscrewdup View Post
I background check EVERYONE I let regularly into my life, and always will.

I background check:
- friends I let visit my house/come over for dinner regularly - long-term friends
- employees I hire
- contractors I hire personally and let inside my house (obviously can't background check the cable guy... but I don't have cable anyway)
- people I date (before the first date)
- people I let be my roommate (they get rental/etc. checks too)
- people I pen pal with

If it's a long-term relationship of any sort (friend, pen pal, someone I date, etc.), I pull EVERYTHING I can. I use public records to find a list of previous cities, and look up court records for them in each city as well as PACER. I google their names and social media. Sure, not everything shows up, but it's a good hint at who they are and what they do. You'd be surprised at the sorts of records that people have. I new friend who was an almost elderly gentleman had a charge related to children.

If I chose to pen pal with an inmate, of course I'd background check as much as I could. They could do the same and check me. If their charges were violent or related to children especially, I would likely use a nickname of my first name, not mention my spouse/kids names (or career type, company name, kid's schools or college names) and use only nicknames, not mention specific schedules (kids and I go to baseball every Friday night), and use a po box one city away from where my actual house is. Much of that I would do in general. We're complete strangers who don't know each other at all, have never met, and it's good to be careful. Oh, and they're a long-time inmate... so that's a good reason for a little caution in general. I'm very careful about what people I let in my life, as people can easily ruin a person's reputation, if not life. I still would be friends or pen pals with someone with a record, of course, depending on the level of violence of their charges, and judge each potential relationship carefully. I'm cautious, and always will be.

I understand being cautious but to do background checks on your friends? I have never done one on anyone & never had a problem. The problems I have had have been from people that would have had a clean background.

My son lost several job offers & got stood up on dates after being googled. He would be honest if he got the chance but no one ever wanted to hear the details. Before the search he was the perfect person for the job or date but one keystroke changed everything. People only focus on the sensational results. They don't read his blogs or see any of his positive accomplishments that might give them a different view of him. Once they see arrested, that's all it takes to be rejected.

I understand protecting yourself from danger but the danger you don't see is just as powerful as the one you do. In fact, most people with convictions want to stay away from trouble more than you do.
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  #33  
Old 02-08-2018, 08:26 PM
char_hart80 char_hart80 is offline
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I still did, even though he also showed me all the papers her had on everything and it all matched up, I just felt compelled to even though he was straight up honest with me, with papers and all.
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  #34  
Old 02-08-2018, 09:22 PM
Daddysgal Daddysgal is offline
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What is a good online site to do an inexpensive background check?
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  #35  
Old 02-12-2018, 02:45 AM
ll1995 ll1995 is offline
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Where are you all seeking at? Because when I google the name of my LO I can't find anything at all... And I did research like a FBI...
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