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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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  #1  
Old 08-30-2005, 02:44 PM
Mazdagirl23 Mazdagirl23 is offline
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Angry VENT: anyone else dealing with this???

I have posted in a couple different parts of the forum, and then i found this one. my best friend of 5 years just got done spending 6 months in prison for possession of meth... he had a super good attitude while he was in prison and all these plans on how he was going to make his life better... he came home and was only supposed to stay with me and my roommate for a day or two at most, today is the start of the seventh week... he still does not have a job, he has been working as a temp here and there, when he does work, he spends all his money on beer or at the casino, he does help me out a little bit around the house, he takes the garbage out... but most of the time he lays in my bed and doees nothing all day... he gets upset if i do anything except sit at home and he has become very controlling... he has many suicidal thoughts and has recently started calling me names and saying how fake i am and that i only help him out when it is convenient... i am at my wits end ... i dont know how much more i can take... i love him more than i could ever tell him but i cant take it anymore... he tells me that my roommate hates him, when she clearly doesnt, she just wants him to get out of bed and do something with himself... he puts her down all the time, and i am sick of hearing about it... i am tired of hearing how he is just going to go get high but i am really worried about him... he wont take any suggestions i have but tells me that i wont help him... i just dont know what to do anymore and i dont know how much more of this i can take.... please feel free to throw your suggestions out here before i strangle him
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Old 08-30-2005, 03:46 PM
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CONWIFE CONWIFE is offline
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go to an alanon meeting or the equivalent for families of drug users. you will learn that everyone is responsible for their own actions and that you can not do anything to help someone who will not help them selves. put your foot down and do the tough love bit. you may help him alot and you will help yourself in the meantime.
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Old 08-31-2005, 06:10 AM
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Go to all the meetings you can....can't think of the equivalent of Al Anon - for drug abusers. Al Anon saved my life!
Use TOUGH LOVE and kick him out of there. As long as you let him stay, you are only enabling him and he will not change. He must take responsibility for his own actions and isn't doing it. No matter what he says or how much he begs to stay or even if he threatens you, get him out of there now even if it takes a court order to get him out.
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Old 08-31-2005, 11:47 AM
Mazdagirl23 Mazdagirl23 is offline
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thank you for your support... i kicked him out last night, dont know yet if it was a good thing or bad thing, i guess we will see.... he is telling me today that he is going to tell his CCO that he wants to finish his DOSA sentence in jail... he does not want to be out of jail anymore... he told me a few minutes ago that he is saying f*ck it and is going to get high tonight (drug of choice is meth)... i know i cant let him tell me it is my fault... he is making that decision on his own, but it is so hard... it seems like i carried him through the last 2 months, and one day out of my house and he is falling flat on his face... it is frustrating... but anyways, thank you again for the support and letting me vent... i really appreciate it...

i am also glad that you see it the same way me and my roommate do... thanks again!!!
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Old 05-04-2019, 12:30 AM
Marzoniegirl1 Marzoniegirl1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazdagirl23 View Post
I have posted in a couple different parts of the forum, and then i found this one. my best friend of 5 years just got done spending 6 months in prison for possession of meth... he had a super good attitude while he was in prison and all these plans on how he was going to make his life better... he came home and was only supposed to stay with me and my roommate for a day or two at most, today is the start of the seventh week... he still does not have a job, he has been working as a temp here and there, when he does work, he spends all his money on beer or at the casino, he does help me out a little bit around the house, he takes the garbage out... but most of the time he lays in my bed and doees nothing all day... he gets upset if i do anything except sit at home and he has become very controlling... he has many suicidal thoughts and has recently started calling me names and saying how fake i am and that i only help him out when it is convenient... i am at my wits end ... i dont know how much more i can take... i love him more than i could ever tell him but i cant take it anymore... he tells me that my roommate hates him, when she clearly doesnt, she just wants him to get out of bed and do something with himself... he puts her down all the time, and i am sick of hearing about it... i am tired of hearing how he is just going to go get high but i am really worried about him... he wont take any suggestions i have but tells me that i wont help him... i just dont know what to do anymore and i dont know how much more of this i can take.... please feel free to throw your suggestions out here before i strangle him
SHOW HIM THE DOOR! You are enabling him and he will begin using .
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Old 05-04-2019, 01:51 AM
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Sarianna Sarianna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marzoniegirl1 View Post
SHOW HIM THE DOOR! You are enabling him and he will begin using .
Hi there & welcome to Prison Talk

The person you are responding to posted this back in 2005 and has not logged in since, so hopefully she got her situation solved

It is perfectly fine to comment on old threads, so no problem there -- but just a friendly hint to a new member just in case: you can see posting dates on each post and also if you check the member's profile page (by clicking on their username) you'll see a date when they were last active on this website.

Again, no harm in responding to older threads, just wanted to offer friendly advice in case you missed this little detail
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