Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Are you riding with your man or are you cheating?
Being loyal to your man 2,849 96.64%
Cheating on your man 99 3.36%
Voters: 2948. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #951  
Old 04-08-2019, 03:29 PM
Panda70 Panda70 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 101
Thanks: 3
Thanked 43 Times in 29 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by noeliz4life View Post
i read this line and so can relate i had to reply...
i wish i could go back to when i was 'happy' back before i knew him and could go about my day just fine. now it is a constant battle to fight off the heartache from missing him. and it is exhausting!
Yes it is very exhausting. I wish this never happened i want the nightmare to be over. I have bad dreams at least 3 times a week not knowing what goes on behind the walls. He say's he is fine and in with a good group of guy's but i still worry. That's what love is.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #952  
Old 05-01-2019, 02:04 PM
onedayatatime89 onedayatatime89 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 86
Thanks: 68
Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by QPunky7408 View Post
Well I didnt answer the question cause my option isnt there but its not cheating cause I am riding with him all the way. I do more than lots of people and more for him than anyone else has done for him. I am caring for him, writing, visiting, loving, mentally, emotionally taking care of him but physically he isnt taking care of me and we have an agreement if I get that feeling I am free to do what I want safely (as to not catch anything or get pregnant) and not to get emotionally attached. I am one of those girls who can do that, most can not but I can. So I am not cheating and just cause I may have my occassional fling or what-have-u I am no less riding with him than anyone else. Everyone has their own situations whether their man is locked up or not. Some people have open marriages/relationships and they work just as well for that couple. To each there own but If you choose to stay celibate more power to ya and you should make that clear to anyone who would try to hook u up with the next man. If he does another bid I am backing out. Also my personal opinion if a man gets himself locked up they hae no right (unless maybe they are married) to say you cant be with anyone while I am in prison for X amount of years because I couldnt do the right thing and stay out of trouble so now we both must "pay for" what I did. If he wants to move on that easily maybe he doesnt love you as much to move on to a new chick just cause she says she is "waiting" for him. Why is waiting not having sex. I am still waiting for him. Just my POV.
funny how all you women always make all these promises also, it's a two sided fence. Making al these promises like your gonna wait for us, be faithful, nobody compares to you, blah blah blah then we get a couple years and your panties wanna drop. Disgusting, and yes, we expect you to wait and be faithful simple as that or else dont make false promises.
Reply With Quote
  #953  
Old 05-02-2019, 05:06 AM
kellydavid410's Avatar
kellydavid410 kellydavid410 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Greece
Posts: 460
Thanks: 316
Thanked 112 Times in 79 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by onedayatatime89 View Post
funny how all you women always make all these promises also, it's a two sided fence. Making al these promises like your gonna wait for us, be faithful, nobody compares to you, blah blah blah then we get a couple years and your panties wanna drop. Disgusting, and yes, we expect you to wait and be faithful simple as that or else dont make false promises.
This was a bit harsh. Everybody has their own opinion and their own view of things. I personally am riding with my man. It's not only women who make promises. Men do too. It's everyone's own right to deal with relationships as they see suited for themselves. Relationships are based on honesty, love and communication from both sides. It seems that you have had a bad experience and I'm sorry for that but what you are say does not apply to all women or all men
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to kellydavid410 For This Useful Post:
KatyCain12 (07-07-2019), Kyliie (05-02-2019)
  #954  
Old 05-02-2019, 11:19 AM
Sarianna's Avatar
Sarianna Sarianna is offline
Embrace Your Wild ⭐️
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Swinging from the chandelier
Posts: 3,316
Thanks: 16,723
Thanked 4,695 Times in 2,050 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by onedayatatime89 View Post
funny how all you women always make all these promises also, it's a two sided fence. Making al these promises like your gonna wait for us, be faithful, nobody compares to you, blah blah blah then we get a couple years and your panties wanna drop. Disgusting, and yes, we expect you to wait and be faithful simple as that or else dont make false promises.
Hi there - it seems you are reading through this thread and responding to posts from years ago.... you can, of course, do that - but as those people have not logged in for ages, maybe we could just try and keep this thread a bit more on the positive side

For example, what's your own take on this poll? Your older posts indicate it is/was your son who was incarcerated - now it appears you are speaking from your own experience...?
__________________


Last edited by Sarianna; 05-02-2019 at 11:41 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sarianna For This Useful Post:
jadah (05-02-2019), missingdee (05-02-2019), patchouli (05-03-2019)
  #955  
Old 05-02-2019, 11:34 AM
Kyliie's Avatar
Kyliie Kyliie is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: From France but Living in Mexico
Posts: 24
Thanks: 74
Thanked 22 Times in 13 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by onedayatatime89 View Post
funny how all you women always make all these promises also, it's a two sided fence. Making al these promises like your gonna wait for us, be faithful, nobody compares to you, blah blah blah then we get a couple years and your panties wanna drop. Disgusting, and yes, we expect you to wait and be faithful simple as that or else dont make false promises.
I was thinking about writing something to show how I see it from my point of view but finally nahhhhh because it's always the same S**** having to explain why and how and how long and for what
If my man wasn't in Prison do I have to always explain all my choices ???
Sharing experience and opinion without any judgment that's fine but you look like you have kinda bad opinion about "US"
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kyliie For This Useful Post:
kellydavid410 (05-02-2019), missingdee (05-02-2019)
  #956  
Old 05-02-2019, 11:39 AM
Kyliie's Avatar
Kyliie Kyliie is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: From France but Living in Mexico
Posts: 24
Thanks: 74
Thanked 22 Times in 13 Posts
Default

This song explain my point of view

"We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride
We ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride
We ride
Even when it don't go right, even when the shit goes left
Even when my arms can't fight we ride

Get somebody that gon' ride for you
Even when I lose my breath
Who gon' die for you
Even if I hurt myself
Who gon' cry for you
Even if it means my life, we ride

Look I don't trust nobody like I trust you
I know you'll never hurt me 'cause it will hurt you
Everybody turn they back on me but you
And when I did time you was doing time too
Looking back at it, Hell what we went through
It's like I prayed for an angel and he sent you
They used to say you was a fool 'cause you loved me
Now look at them they lie them I wish it was me
But tell me can you hold me down in the bad weather
'Cause anyone can hold it down through the fair weather
That's why the rock so big 'cause when you wave at 'em
I want them hoes to run and hide like you sprayed at 'em

We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride
We ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride
We ride
Even when it don't go right, even when the shit goes left
Even when my arms can't fight we ride

Get somebody that gon' ride for you
Even when I lose my breath
Who gon' die for you
Even if I hurt myself
Who gon' cry for you
Even if it means my life, we ride

It's me and my ride or die, that's my right hand
Got me thinking damn who gon' be my best man
Build a house for 10 mil on your own land
And showed your best friend how to build her own brand
Have you ever seen a street nigga slow dance
In a white tux with a live band playing
It's like the new Gucci talking to the old Gucci
Gotta have 20 M's to see what I'm saying
Who'd ever think I'd get this far, I was just trappin'
Who ever thought I'd get this rich when I started rapping
This make a street nigga stand up and start clapping
I never thought I'f feel this way but then God happened

We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride
We ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride, we ride, we ride
We ride
We ride
Even when it don't go right, even when the shit goes left
Even when my arms can't fight we ride

Get somebody that gon' ride for you
Even when I lose my breath
Who gon' die for you
Even if I hurt myself
Who gon' cry for you
Even if it means my life, we ride

We ride

Songwriters: Leonardo Underwood / Marcella Christina Araica / Nathaniel Hills / Radric Delantic Davis / Rico Love

We Ride lyrics Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Reservoir Media Management Inc
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kyliie For This Useful Post:
jadah (05-02-2019), kellydavid410 (05-02-2019), missingdee (05-02-2019)
  #957  
Old 05-02-2019, 11:51 AM
missingdee's Avatar
missingdee missingdee is offline
Site Moderator

PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Metro Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 3,382
Thanks: 3,848
Thanked 5,954 Times in 2,248 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by onedayatatime89 View Post
funny how all you women always make all these promises also, it's a two sided fence. Making al these promises like your gonna wait for us, be faithful, nobody compares to you, blah blah blah then we get a couple years and your panties wanna drop. Disgusting, and yes, we expect you to wait and be faithful simple as that or else dont make false promises.

First off, it's not just the women who ride. We may be fewer in number, but some of us men "ride" too. I rode 5+ years.



Second, let me speak in defense of these women, because there are some damn good women on this forum. There is no "tough guy" remedy to being the outmate. You can't just "suck it up" and not feel the emotion, and if you do, it's just gonna kill you from inside slowly with stress.


You're right, it is a two-sided fence. You want to know what it's like to be on the other side of the fence? We don't get your daily structure. We don't get your restrictions. What we do get is strange requests that would probably not exist in the outside world. Some of us get exploited for money. Some of us get exploited to bring drugs into prisons or get involved in the contraband game in other ways. Some of us wind up fighting YOUR fights FOR YOU because we have access to resources and people out here that you either can't reach, or it would take so much longer so as to diminish your hope.


You think that people enter into relationships with people in prison (or decide to "ride out" a term like I did) lightly? Sure, there may be naive among us, but we're not dating a bunch of Eagle Scouts in the case of the women who are riding or Rhodes Scholars in the event of men (well, mine maybe is the equivalent in manipulation and criminality.....and then again, maybe she's just a mentally ill drug addict who's constantly swimming upstream.)


No, you as the inmate don't get to sit here and judge. And while you might not be an inmate right now, I've read enough to know you've been on that side of the fence. Yeah, I get that it sucks in there. I absolutely get that. But from an outsider perspective? I think you all lose the view of what it takes to survive out here. I think you forget what our needs are out here. I had to sit my girl down at a visit and say "this is how much I make every month. These are my bills. This is why I can't just give you unlimited money." Didn't make it about accusations regarding drugs or anything like that. Just "here's my budget. Here's what I can reasonably afford to give you every month. Please bear in mind that I've got two kids and this is taking from my ability to do things with them too."


You posted in another forum that you've got 15 years that you're facing right now. You know who didn't make the choices that put them in that position? The woman/women you are/may become involved with.


I don't know you from Adam and might have this completely wrong, but when I read, as an outsider, someone saying "I'm facing 15 years, this is my third felony," I start losing sympathy. What that tells me is that you might not have learned anything from the first two felonies. And now you're sitting here complaining about the riders?


Gain some perspective. And understand. I might not know most of these women. And I am not a woman. But I get their story because I sat there riding for five years, and then I sat there watching my relationship go from happily-ever-after to what-a-disaster over the span of two years. Because apparently 5 years didn't change her mind, her perspective, her sense of entitlement or her priorities either in the end.


Think long and hard. Because if this is your attitude, if how you're coming across in your text is an accurate depiction of how you feel, then you're not going to get a lot of sympathy around here from the people who are "riding." If someone's coming to these forums, odds are they are hurt, they are confused, they are looking for answers, and they're trying to get through the process and they're here to feel some sense of "normal." We are here to support and encourage. We are not here to put down. But what I read in your post, to be completely honest, comes across as disrespectful to people who are legitimately trying to get through this time. If you're going to dish that on them, then I hope you're willing to listen and respect the struggle on this side of the walls as well when our loved ones are away.



And.....Ladies? Let it be known, I may not agree with all of you all the time, I may even shake my head sometimes when I read things here, but I am proud of each and every one of you not only for your commitment to your men, but to your commitment to yourselves recognizing that you need the support and coming here to get it.


-Eric
__________________
Missing Dee. Finding Serenity.



"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."
-Thomas Jefferson
Reply With Quote
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to missingdee For This Useful Post:
100%Hiz (06-08-2019), BearsLadyBear (05-06-2019), jadah (05-02-2019), jessesgirl1111 (06-09-2019), kellydavid410 (05-02-2019), keywii (05-02-2019), Kyliie (05-02-2019), Matt'sAngel (06-20-2019), maytayah (05-02-2019), miamac (05-14-2019), patchouli (05-03-2019), reg8 (07-15-2019), Taliba00 (06-09-2019)
  #958  
Old 05-02-2019, 06:02 PM
Panda70 Panda70 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 101
Thanks: 3
Thanked 43 Times in 29 Posts
Default

Even if my fiance is in prison for a year or year and a half i love him with all my heart and soul I have never been happier than i am with him. I have never felt like i do. And i have been married and divorced and that wasn't what i feel now. So i'm sticking and standing beside him and waiting for him
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Panda70 For This Useful Post:
kellydavid410 (05-03-2019)
  #959  
Old 05-02-2019, 10:21 PM
keywii's Avatar
keywii keywii is offline
Strength Keeps Me Going
 

Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: On A Rocket
Posts: 348
Thanks: 285
Thanked 349 Times in 192 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by onedayatatime89 View Post
funny how all you women always make all these promises also, it's a two sided fence. Making al these promises like your gonna wait for us, be faithful, nobody compares to you, blah blah blah then we get a couple years and your panties wanna drop. Disgusting, and yes, we expect you to wait and be faithful simple as that or else dont make false promises.
"All You Women!!!"

All women aren't the same... you cant just place every woman in the same category. I get it...it's some that give promises and doesn't keep them. But you got some that does give promises and keeps them. You cant judge all women over some bad apples you've came across to experience. It's some guys that does the same make promises and doesn't keep them... just like it's some guys that make promises and keeps them. I've met men on both sides that keeps promises/that doesn't keep promises. But I'll never place every guy in the same category. Just because of my experiences that's judgemental point, blank, period. If you feel that women drop panties when their man get a couple years... well sherlock Holmes men drop them boxers as well when their woman get a couple years. It works both ways not one. Not all women like that...just like not all men like that.

I know I made promises to my man that I'm going to ride and wait for him. I did just that I'm a 1 woman man and that's the way it is with me! Just like he made promises to me...I take his word he's a 1 man woman. If he cant keep his promises he's not making them and that goes for me as well. If I say I'm holding him down I'm holding him down. I respect myself enough to NOT give my goodies to no other man. He knows what kind of woman I am so he has no worries when it comes to me. I choose to stay riding for him and being faithful to only him. 1% of women and men can't do that but the other 99.9% can.

This riding and being faithful lifestyle isn't fit for everyone when their love one is incarcerated. If it isn't for you don't get yourself involved into it...that simple! Most think they're able to handle it but realize it's too much...its others that can handle it regardless how much it is they'll stick it out.

Also, my man didn't expect me to wait he didn't put that pressure on me like that it was up to me to decide. Which I'd decided to wait for him...he didn't even want a relationship until he was released. But I went ahead with it and I don't regret I'm riding for my babe. He knew I was a rider when we was just friends. He got what he wanted and I got what I needed the best thing ever to happen since slice wheat bread.

Last edited by keywii; 05-02-2019 at 10:25 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to keywii For This Useful Post:
kellydavid410 (05-03-2019), Kyliie (05-02-2019), missingdee (05-03-2019)
  #960  
Old 05-03-2019, 10:30 AM
Matt'sAngel Matt'sAngel is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: TN-To far away from the love of my life
Posts: 30
Thanks: 6
Thanked 19 Times in 14 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by noeliz4life View Post
i read this line and so can relate i had to reply...
i wish i could go back to when i was 'happy' back before i knew him and could go about my day just fine. now it is a constant battle to fight off the heartache from missing him. and it is exhausting!
Yes, I know this feeling all too well. It is almost as if I'm mourning him. Be strong, this won't last forever but a day without him sure can feel like a lifetime.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Matt'sAngel For This Useful Post:
Sarianna (05-04-2019)
  #961  
Old 05-04-2019, 04:41 AM
Panda70 Panda70 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 101
Thanks: 3
Thanked 43 Times in 29 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by keywii View Post
"All You Women!!!"

All women aren't the same... you cant just place every woman in the same category. I get it...it's some that give promises and doesn't keep them. But you got some that does give promises and keeps them. You cant judge all women over some bad apples you've came across to experience. It's some guys that does the same make promises and doesn't keep them... just like it's some guys that make promises and keeps them. I've met men on both sides that keeps promises/that doesn't keep promises. But I'll never place every guy in the same category. Just because of my experiences that's judgemental point, blank, period. If you feel that women drop panties when their man get a couple years... well sherlock Holmes men drop them boxers as well when their woman get a couple years. It works both ways not one. Not all women like that...just like not all men like that.

I know I made promises to my man that I'm going to ride and wait for him. I did just that I'm a 1 woman man and that's the way it is with me! Just like he made promises to me...I take his word he's a 1 man woman. If he cant keep his promises he's not making them and that goes for me as well. If I say I'm holding him down I'm holding him down. I respect myself enough to NOT give my goodies to no other man. He knows what kind of woman I am so he has no worries when it comes to me. I choose to stay riding for him and being faithful to only him. 1% of women and men can't do that but the other 99.9% can.

This riding and being faithful lifestyle isn't fit for everyone when their love one is incarcerated. If it isn't for you don't get yourself involved into it...that simple! Most think they're able to handle it but realize it's too much...its others that can handle it regardless how much it is they'll stick it out.

Also, my man didn't expect me to wait he didn't put that pressure on me like that it was up to me to decide. Which I'd decided to wait for him...he didn't even want a relationship until he was released. But I went ahead with it and I don't regret I'm riding for my babe. He knew I was a rider when we was just friends. He got what he wanted and I got what I needed the best thing ever to happen since slice wheat bread.
I agree with your post 💯 my fiance didn't want to hurt me by having me wait for him. I love him and I'm sticking by him. I get I love you phone calls two visits a week and a letter when he has time in between classes and group meetings and he has been working out to. Just trying to keep busy to make the time go faster. It seems to be working he has been in for 4 months he told me last week that he should be out in May of next year. I'm keeping my fingers crossed . And he knows I won't go find pleasure anywhere else while he is in there I'm a one man women 💯. I was cheated on years ago so I know how it feels to be hurt.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Panda70 For This Useful Post:
keywii (05-04-2019)
  #962  
Old 05-04-2019, 09:49 PM
Ricoluv29 Ricoluv29 is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Arizona
Posts: 178
Thanks: 110
Thanked 107 Times in 68 Posts
Default

Loyalty.
A word seen on the endings of most letters.
In county he used to say "Whats the word of the day?" And it was always loyalty. I thought it was silly but now I've put it in my letters. That's what its been about since day one and will always remain that way.

The day he got sentenced the first thing he said on that call was "Are you okay with that?" And I said "I don't have much of a choice."
Because there's no way in hell Id give up a man like him. It's rare to find someone who you can just simply love. It's rare just for me to even like sharing my space with another human.

Loyalty until the end.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ricoluv29 For This Useful Post:
kellydavid410 (05-05-2019), Kyliie (05-05-2019)
  #963  
Old 05-06-2019, 04:06 AM
Panda70 Panda70 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 101
Thanks: 3
Thanked 43 Times in 29 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricoluv29 View Post
Loyalty.
A word seen on the endings of most letters.
In county he used to say "Whats the word of the day?" And it was always loyalty. I thought it was silly but now I've put it in my letters. That's what its been about since day one and will always remain that way.

The day he got sentenced the first thing he said on that call was "Are you okay with that?" And I said "I don't have much of a choice."
Because there's no way in hell Id give up a man like him. It's rare to find someone who you can just simply love. It's rare just for me to even like sharing my space with another human.

Loyalty until the end.
I love him so much. Some morning I rollover and feel to find my bed empty on the other side. I catch myself yelling at him when I'm painting a room even though he isn't around me. I have never felt like this before. Everything will be alright. Now I keep saying I love you I told him he would probably get sick of it after hearing it all the time he said nope. I asked him if his other ex wife's said it to him he said nope. Well I guess they didn't love him like I do they just wanted his money.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Panda70 For This Useful Post:
kellydavid410 (05-08-2019), Kyliie (05-06-2019), Ricoluv29 (05-06-2019)
  #964  
Old 05-14-2019, 03:30 PM
miamac's Avatar
miamac miamac is online now
Site Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: ORnativeAZresCAtied
Posts: 11,069
Thanks: 14,900
Thanked 21,959 Times in 7,792 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricoluv29 View Post
Loyalty until the end.
Same word that landed my man in prison. Same word that kept me in an abusive relationship. I get it, but I don't use it. Loyalty to me means no hard lines and I definitely have them, as does he. I will love him to the day I die but we know that the future is only written by God. If we're meant to be together, we will be. If not, we'll honor the promise we made to each other to be loving to the end even as we move apart.

Loyalty works when things are healthy, but I've seen too many people lay down their sanity for loyalty. Slippery slope.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to miamac For This Useful Post:
keywii (05-14-2019), Kyliie (05-14-2019), Sarianna (05-15-2019)
  #965  
Old 06-08-2019, 07:09 PM
100%Hiz 100%Hiz is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: California
Posts: 471
Thanks: 105
Thanked 36 Times in 21 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by missingdee View Post
First off, it's not just the women who ride. We may be fewer in number, but some of us men "ride" too. I rode 5+ years.



Second, let me speak in defense of these women, because there are some damn good women on this forum. There is no "tough guy" remedy to being the outmate. You can't just "suck it up" and not feel the emotion, and if you do, it's just gonna kill you from inside slowly with stress.


You're right, it is a two-sided fence. You want to know what it's like to be on the other side of the fence? We don't get your daily structure. We don't get your restrictions. What we do get is strange requests that would probably not exist in the outside world. Some of us get exploited for money. Some of us get exploited to bring drugs into prisons or get involved in the contraband game in other ways. Some of us wind up fighting YOUR fights FOR YOU because we have access to resources and people out here that you either can't reach, or it would take so much longer so as to diminish your hope.


You think that people enter into relationships with people in prison (or decide to "ride out" a term like I did) lightly? Sure, there may be naive among us, but we're not dating a bunch of Eagle Scouts in the case of the women who are riding or Rhodes Scholars in the event of men (well, mine maybe is the equivalent in manipulation and criminality.....and then again, maybe she's just a mentally ill drug addict who's constantly swimming upstream.)


No, you as the inmate don't get to sit here and judge. And while you might not be an inmate right now, I've read enough to know you've been on that side of the fence. Yeah, I get that it sucks in there. I absolutely get that. But from an outsider perspective? I think you all lose the view of what it takes to survive out here. I think you forget what our needs are out here. I had to sit my girl down at a visit and say "this is how much I make every month. These are my bills. This is why I can't just give you unlimited money." Didn't make it about accusations regarding drugs or anything like that. Just "here's my budget. Here's what I can reasonably afford to give you every month. Please bear in mind that I've got two kids and this is taking from my ability to do things with them too."


You posted in another forum that you've got 15 years that you're facing right now. You know who didn't make the choices that put them in that position? The woman/women you are/may become involved with.


I don't know you from Adam and might have this completely wrong, but when I read, as an outsider, someone saying "I'm facing 15 years, this is my third felony," I start losing sympathy. What that tells me is that you might not have learned anything from the first two felonies. And now you're sitting here complaining about the riders?


Gain some perspective. And understand. I might not know most of these women. And I am not a woman. But I get their story because I sat there riding for five years, and then I sat there watching my relationship go from happily-ever-after to what-a-disaster over the span of two years. Because apparently 5 years didn't change her mind, her perspective, her sense of entitlement or her priorities either in the end.


Think long and hard. Because if this is your attitude, if how you're coming across in your text is an accurate depiction of how you feel, then you're not going to get a lot of sympathy around here from the people who are "riding." If someone's coming to these forums, odds are they are hurt, they are confused, they are looking for answers, and they're trying to get through the process and they're here to feel some sense of "normal." We are here to support and encourage. We are not here to put down. But what I read in your post, to be completely honest, comes across as disrespectful to people who are legitimately trying to get through this time. If you're going to dish that on them, then I hope you're willing to listen and respect the struggle on this side of the walls as well when our loved ones are away.



And.....Ladies? Let it be known, I may not agree with all of you all the time, I may even shake my head sometimes when I read things here, but I am proud of each and every one of you not only for your commitment to your men, but to your commitment to yourselves recognizing that you need the support and coming here to get it.


-Eric
So very well said and I agree with you.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to 100%Hiz For This Useful Post:
jessesgirl1111 (06-09-2019)
  #966  
Old 06-08-2019, 08:23 PM
Panda70 Panda70 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 101
Thanks: 3
Thanked 43 Times in 29 Posts
Default

My fiance told me and his mom that there is a guy in his pod that has no one on the outside to visit or have a place to go when he gets out in two weeks. He is a older guy and is going to a nursing home when a bed is open. Now that is sad. My fiance told me that they say he is lucky to have me out here. I told him that he wasn't the only one in prison that I am also. I have to change the way I dress and wait for his calls and have 3 1\2 hours to visit a week. And a 3 second hug so 12 seconds in all for the both visits. I will be glad when he is home
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #967  
Old 06-19-2019, 06:07 PM
Chrisismylove1 Chrisismylove1 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Lisle,illinois
Posts: 1
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

I’ll be the first face he sees when he becomes free... I can’t pay for his mistakes and he absolutely doesn’t want me to be unhappy or lonely. I’m there for whatever he needs but he can’t take care of mine. I do what needs to be done. We are good with that.. he’s a gentleman with common sense.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Chrisismylove1 For This Useful Post:
ricagem (07-10-2019)
  #968  
Old 06-19-2019, 08:23 PM
Amandainohio Amandainohio is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 105
Thanks: 23
Thanked 34 Times in 25 Posts
Default

100% riding with my boyfriend, nothing going to change my mind on waiting for him to come home
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #969  
Old 06-20-2019, 12:51 AM
WeAreSoulMates WeAreSoulMates is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Colorado
Posts: 6
Thanks: 0
Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts
Default

100% riding with my boyfriend, he is my soulmate and I have been madly in love with him. He is 100 for me so I am 100 for him, there is no other way to be. Communication has to be clear. We both know each others limits, however breaking his heart would be breaking my own heart and that wouldn't work out. We have an extremely long ride he has been convicted for second degree murder and the judge gave him the max sentence, he has already been in for 10 years with 38 years to go. Who knows what the future holds we are working with an attorney to get his sentence changed, but either way I am here with him until my last breath.
Reply With Quote
  #970  
Old 06-21-2019, 07:45 AM
MrsDClermont MrsDClermont is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Arizona
Posts: 20
Thanks: 13
Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts
Default

I was so proud of myself the way I held him down. Not ever wanting or thinking about another man bc I knew the caliber of man in which I had. I recently messed that up. I had a weak moment got super wasted and had a one night stand. I told him and my heart is broken and no one to blame but myself. Thanks to everyone who ever commented and engaged in conversation with me. I wish you and your loves nothing but the absolute best.
Reply With Quote
  #971  
Old 07-03-2019, 04:15 PM
Panda70 Panda70 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 101
Thanks: 3
Thanked 43 Times in 29 Posts
Default

I could never have a one night stand. The 28 of next month will be our 1 year together half of it with him in prison and I will be the first one he sees when he walks through that door to come home. I made a promise that I would visit every visit and I have from day one haven't missed one of them. In August I always go home for a mud run and that falls on a Saturday a day a visit falls on and he is telling me to go but I feel I'm breaking a promise to him.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #972  
Old 07-04-2019, 10:33 PM
MrsDClermont MrsDClermont is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Arizona
Posts: 20
Thanks: 13
Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts
Default

Never say never lol Id say that all the time. Then that happened .
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MrsDClermont For This Useful Post:
WeepingWillow (07-10-2019)
  #973  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:04 AM
Meg_fos89's Avatar
Meg_fos89 Meg_fos89 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Illinois
Posts: 35
Thanks: 0
Thanked 9 Times in 5 Posts
Default I dont see a reason to cheat while your other half is in prison.

My thoughts are be straight. If you cant hang, dont pretend to. There are somany times i feel like this whole situation is so overwhelming for me. But honestly I have no idea how my husband really feels. I have never been in prison and I do know forsure that I dont want to be.
If i couldnt wait though I would just tell my husband straight. Cant do it if you want to try again when your out fine but for now im gonna do me.


However if you want to stay with your guy then stay with him. My husband and I have always been ride or die, push that bitch tell the wheels fall off then drag it through the 🏜. I will admit this past year has been very rough. But i will never cheat on my husband. Id just tell him strait i cant do it anymore. Its better to be honest. Then cheat and being dishonest. You just hurt yourself and you person when you do it that way. Whats the point anyways? Their in prison their as low as hurt, disconnecred and alone as almost anyone can be in our society now days. Why would cheat? Just walk away he cant chase you.
Reply With Quote
  #974  
Old 07-10-2019, 09:30 AM
Meg_fos89's Avatar
Meg_fos89 Meg_fos89 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Illinois
Posts: 35
Thanks: 0
Thanked 9 Times in 5 Posts
Default Dont get down on yourself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsDClermont View Post
I was so proud of myself the way I held him down. Not ever wanting or thinking about another man bc I knew the caliber of man in which I had. I recently messed that up. I had a weak moment got super wasted and had a one night stand. I told him and my heart is broken and no one to blame but myself. Thanks to everyone who ever commented and engaged in conversation with me. I wish you and your loves nothing but the absolute best.
A drunken week moment is defferent I feel. I dont know you but girl you are human, and humans make mistakes. Getting drunk and being horney is part of our gentic make up as humans.
Though that is a cheat, its not what i consider truly cheating....making the clear brain choice to go out and have a one night stand is different.


Say sorry, of course and when you do go out drinking again go to a lesbian club, have a good girlfriend with you that will stear you away from temping hot guys. Or dont get so drunk, my friend use to tell me drink when ypur happy to make yourself happier. Dont drink when you down, just takes you lower.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Meg_fos89 For This Useful Post:
MrsDClermont (07-12-2019)
  #975  
Old 07-10-2019, 01:18 PM
Meg_fos89's Avatar
Meg_fos89 Meg_fos89 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Illinois
Posts: 35
Thanks: 0
Thanked 9 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by onedayatatime89 View Post
funny how all you women always make all these promises also, it's a two sided fence. Making al these promises like your gonna wait for us, be faithful, nobody compares to you, blah blah blah then we get a couple years and your panties wanna drop. Disgusting, and yes, we expect you to wait and be faithful simple as that or else dont make false promises.
You sound pretty angry. The only promise I made to my husband whom Ive been married to for a long, time is that he will forsure have my foot up his ass when he gets out.

I have needs and i can only speak for my husband when i say he was not thinking of anyone but himself when he went and got him self roled. Any man or woman who leaves their partner who they also made promises to out here in this funky world by themself over some stupid choice that not only ruined their life but the life of their partner should not demand any promise.

If a woman wants to spend 100's of dollars on commissary, and phone calls from jail or prison then she should. However she does not have to... Thats a gift, if she wants to spend her two days off a week going to a prison in the middle of no where allowing her self to be search and viloted then she should. Again thats a gift. No where in my vows did I say i pay your way through prison, have myself subjected to searchs and giving up all my weekends to fly 1000 miles to see your ass on prison. I am lucky to have a job that i can afford to do those things.... In 2months ive spent damn 1000 dollars on commissary.


Having a spouse who is in jail is not cheap or easy! So you need to calm down with your " all you wemon"
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Meg_fos89 For This Useful Post:
kellydavid410 (07-12-2019)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:06 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics