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Old 11-18-2020, 03:51 AM
silversprings silversprings is offline
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Default I snooped... do I confront him?

Hi everyone.

I hope everyone and there LO’s are staying safe through these difficult times!

Basically me and my partner have been together for around 5 years. My partner has always been quite sexual and even though he’s incarcerated we had a good ‘sex life’ and had phone sex and naughty letters often etc. We’ve been ‘intimate’ about 2 times this year. I feel every time I try get in the mood he’s just distracted. Most of our phonecalls he’s talking to the guys around him or watching the tv and half assed talking to me. I hadn’t sent any photos (sexual or otherwise) for months and he hadn’t even noticed. He never asked for them or mentioned them. There’s no compliments or flirting. No talk of our romance or future or feelings anymore. I felt like a friend and the spark was gone. I started to wonder if I wasn’t attractive enough anymore etc. I asked him and he kept telling me he’s attracted to me as ever, but his actions said otherwise.

So his cousin who recently got out asked me to tell him he send him some photos and he got all excited and hollering etc I was like why are you reacting this way? He said it was ‘bro code’. And I outright asked if it was pictures of other females and he said no.

Cut a long story short, the same cousin couldn’t set up emails properly and I logged in (under his account as he told me the password) to see why it wasn’t working and I seen a message from my loved one saying thanks for the photos of the ‘hoes’ and that he can’t wait to sleep with lots of ‘hoes’ when he comes home.

Of course I’m crushed. I haven’t spoken to him in 2 days and I know it was wrong of me to snoop and I feel terrible. How do I tell him what I saw? I don’t know what to do!!!

Sorry it’s so long

Last edited by silversprings; 11-18-2020 at 04:04 AM..
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Old 11-18-2020, 04:48 AM
RaeLR RaeLR is offline
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You now know what he's all about. Why stick around?
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Old 11-18-2020, 05:01 AM
silversprings silversprings is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RaeLR View Post
You now know what he's all about. Why stick around?
I wonít be staying around thatís for sure. I just donít know if we should have a final conversation about what Iíve seen for some closure
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Old 11-18-2020, 05:49 AM
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Sarianna Sarianna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silversprings View Post
I wonít be staying around thatís for sure. I just donít know if we should have a final conversation about what Iíve seen for some closure
Sweetheart, coming from someone who wasted 5+ years with someone in an American prison (I'm in Europe myself too).... there is no 'closure' with this kind of person. The longer you remain in touch, the better chances you give him to lure you back in, and it will still end in heartache. He's shown you who he is, time for you to move on. It hurts, but it will hurt even more in the long run if you stick around. Been there, done that.

Be strong, move on and take care of YOU.
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Old 11-18-2020, 11:14 AM
Anna7 Anna7 is offline
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I agree, sometimes it’s best to leave things unsaid with this type, and just go. He will feel busted and might be inclined to say some very nasty things to you which you will then have in your mind to remember afterward ... you won’t be able to unhear them. And such a conversation will mean nothing to him, and make no difference in the outcome of the relationship. If you just go, it will be more than enough.
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Old 11-18-2020, 12:41 PM
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His actions tell you all you need to know. He has been distant and disinterested. He has appeared to lose interest in any intimacy with you and he has made clear his intentions on release.
He is not even trying to work on making your relationship work. Go before he can waste anymore of your time. Good luck
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Old 11-18-2020, 01:30 PM
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Fuck closure, just tell him you're not one of his hoe's and you're done and then block him. Life's too short.
I don't believe in closure whatever that means. You have to feel good about yourself & your choices and he's not a good choice.
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Old 11-18-2020, 06:51 PM
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He doesn't deserve to know anything. Only do it if you need to. Ignore/block his calls. Confronting him won't help unless you just feel the need to tell him off.
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