Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Met While Incarcerated
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-01-2019, 05:47 PM
mollysaskia mollysaskia is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: uk
Posts: 3
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Unhappy I think I made MWI mad.

Okay, so me and my "Penpal" have been talking for 6 months now. We have 7 phone calls a day on average and write to each other once a month or so.

We're very close and are comfortable enough to joke around and give each other a hard time.

Today, he talked about being mad at someone, and how much he hates him. I jokingly said "nahhh you don't you always say that but you're all talk!"

He then said something like "it won't be all talk if I go over there! you wouldn't want that" and I said something like "awww did I upset you" in a silly voice. He hung up on me.

I feel so stupid for saying that. It's just how we always joke, but this is the first time I joked about something like this... I sometimes forget where he is and why he's in there cos he seems so reformed.

Anyway, this is the first time I have made him mad and I don't know what to do. Its awful not being able to just call him and talk about it, I have to rely on him calling me first which I worry might not happen.

I've got very attached and now I'm just left feeling helpless. Aghhh!

How do you deal with problems like this?
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 12-01-2019, 06:16 PM
Peacefinder Peacefinder is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 268
Thanks: 107
Thanked 229 Times in 135 Posts
Default

Even if he was mad he shouldn't have hung up on you. It's very juvenile.

Personally if my man ever hung up on me it would be the last time we spoke.

We have had a couple fights. We were both adults about it and dealt with them like adults.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-01-2019, 08:59 PM
kvinna20 kvinna20 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Lost at Sea
Posts: 21
Thanks: 38
Thanked 14 Times in 11 Posts
Default

Hopefully you will hear from him soon with an apology. I wouldn't have thought twice about what you said; it sounds like it touched a nerve with him.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-01-2019, 09:13 PM
Kimimi Kimimi is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: OR USA
Posts: 586
Thanks: 472
Thanked 847 Times in 380 Posts
Default

Six months is still early and also about the time people’s real personalities start coming out in relationships. It could be that he can’t handle his anger or talk through a situation. I wouldn’t to say it’s a deal breaker if it doesn’t continue. If it’s someone he is mad at in the inside that could very well be a serious subject for him right now and it may be consuming his inside life. If he is mad at someone on the outside same thing but not so much in his face. One thing people should understand when In a mwi relationship. They don’t live in a social setting like we do. They are in a high stress, loud, bright light, sometimes life or death environment. Sometimes they are going to act as we would see as irrationally from our perspective. He will probably call and if he doesn’t then he wasn’t all that great anyway.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-02-2019, 12:14 AM
Taliba00's Avatar
Taliba00 Taliba00 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 188
Thanks: 671
Thanked 278 Times in 122 Posts
Default

Banter is tricky even with someone you know well. It's very easy to misjudge a situation with a person you know a short time and only over the phone. I once stepped into a hot mess making a joke about shackles -- just a harmless-seeming (to me) aside that carried a big serious wallop for him. Part of the problem is that we don't live their reality and have no good handle on how things feel on the other side of the fence. Prison social politics is a good example -- it's not equivalent to our social dynamics at all and can (often is) serious business. Not sure what to say about the hang up, and I wouldn't necessarily call it immature. Maybe from where he stood, your comment felt so disrespectful that he didn't see any other way out. I think you'd need to know him much better to have a better understanding.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Taliba00 For This Useful Post:
Kimimi (12-02-2019)
  #6  
Old 12-02-2019, 02:25 AM
AnieLove56 AnieLove56 is offline
His Girl ❤️
 

Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Both In California (Me: North, Him: South)
Posts: 285
Thanks: 50
Thanked 139 Times in 108 Posts
Default

Shortly after T started calling me, he cut the call short one time cuz I believe he got upset. I was at work when he called and I told my then boss I needed to step outside to take the call cuz he's incarcerated and I never know when he's gonna call. She replied cool okay that's fine. Personally, I didn't think anything of it so I told T what she said and he was all there's nothing cool about being in prison then told me they called him for his classes. I legit freaked out and thought I had pissed him off. He called again about 5 hours later and I apologized if I made him upset and he was all no just annoyed so I needed to cool down.

Most likely that could be what he's doing. Yes it's childish to just hang up, but given their situation it's not like he can do much else. He can't go anywhere to blow off steam, he can't exactly start screaming over the phone as it could get him in trouble. I wouldn't worry, it's still early in this whole thing for you guys. He's only got himself and his thoughts inside and that's a scary thing for anyone to deal with.
__________________
You won't see him all over Instagram, or screenshots of conversations, and I don't care if you never know his name. Just know he's there & he's mine.

Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-02-2019, 02:53 AM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is offline
Lil British Site Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 8,838
Thanks: 8,783
Thanked 11,472 Times in 4,758 Posts
Default

Firstly seven calls a day is a lot. Are you paying for all those calls?
If you are I would stop. He sounds very immature putting the phone down is manipulative. He is punishing you rather than talking things through. I would just leave him to his childish behaviour.
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to maytayah For This Useful Post:
4Bobby (12-02-2019), Bobette37 (12-02-2019), nancyginnm (12-02-2019), priceam (12-02-2019)
  #8  
Old 12-02-2019, 01:48 PM
Ricoluv29 Ricoluv29 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Arizona
Posts: 397
Thanks: 186
Thanked 259 Times in 178 Posts
Default

Well, if he decides to call you again you need to let him know how him hanging up the phone was not ok, how it made you feel and if he needed time for himself then he should probably let you know first instead of leaving you in the dark. If he cant apologize and fix the behavior, Id be done.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Ricoluv29 For This Useful Post:
Kimimi (12-03-2019)
  #9  
Old 12-02-2019, 02:56 PM
Visitor611 Visitor611 is online now
Until the end
 

Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Oregon
Posts: 170
Thanks: 142
Thanked 283 Times in 108 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mollysaskia View Post
Okay, so me and my "Penpal" have been talking for 6 months now. We have 7 phone calls a day on average and write to each other once a month or so.

We're very close and are comfortable enough to joke around and give each other a hard time.

Today, he talked about being mad at someone, and how much he hates him. I jokingly said "nahhh you don't you always say that but you're all talk!"

He then said something like "it won't be all talk if I go over there! you wouldn't want that" and I said something like "awww did I upset you" in a silly voice. He hung up on me.

I feel so stupid for saying that. It's just how we always joke, but this is the first time I joked about something like this... I sometimes forget where he is and why he's in there cos he seems so reformed.

Anyway, this is the first time I have made him mad and I don't know what to do. Its awful not being able to just call him and talk about it, I have to rely on him calling me first which I worry might not happen.

I've got very attached and now I'm just left feeling helpless. Aghhh!

How do you deal with problems like this?
Speaking for a man's point. When we are mad, or angry, or upset, the last thing we want is another person to make us feel patronized or mocked. Doubly worse when its someone we know and talk with a lot. Reading that makes me feel like he had a challenge to his a manhood, then add a prison setting, and that's a bad combo. I too would have made a comment if someone said that to me in a silly voice. Not an excuse, but it is what happens to us.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Visitor611 For This Useful Post:
Taliba00 (12-03-2019)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Join me in celebrating a friend made who made parole - YEAH!!! BJWCA Elsa's Inmate Card Projects 10 09-08-2012 06:17 PM
What would u do if your man made a HUGE mistake 2 days before he made parole? msbhaven Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 39 03-07-2009 10:46 AM
Home-made cards made without glue,glitter,stickers.... Jessiegirl813 GPT Phones, Mail, and Visitation Discussions 8 07-27-2005 09:45 AM
made it one more x-mas without my son ken'smom Parents with Children in Prison 9 12-28-2003 09:48 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:56 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics