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Loving a Long-term Sentenced Offender For those whose loved one is serving 10+ years.

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  #1  
Old 01-16-2018, 03:39 PM
Nancia79 Nancia79 is offline
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My son has been moved from county today to the prison where they do intake. Iím walking around today and working trying to keep my mind off of what is going on with him. Iím on my lunch at home right now and wondering where he is, what heís thinking, when heíll call. He turns 20 in a few weeks. I really appreciate this site as it feels like the world just doesnít understand, but how could they if they havenít gone through it? Iím staying positive. Heís excited to finally leave county. Heís been in there almost a year. 14 more to go. No good tone on these Measure 11 robbery crimes. I feel like Iím doing the time right there with him. Gosh this hurts. Heís my baby boy. You never think when youíre changing their diapers, reaching them to walk, holding their chubby little hands that someday they are going to be surrounded by a bunch of men convicts in the penitentiary and be a convict themselves. He loved Scooby Doo. He thought he was Spider-Man. He was such a great big brother. Maybe Iím losing it right now. I donít know. This hurts so bad. I need to hold it together and get back to work. Heís going to be okay. Iím a prayer warrior. I write gratitude lists every morning and pray and that helps tremendously. Iím going to make sure he gets a tv, shoes and headphones with a radio just as soon as heís allowed to. Iíll send him in magazines, letters, photos and answer every call. Iíll see him as soon as heís allowed and off intake. Weíre going to get through this. Thank you for listening.
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Old 01-16-2018, 04:16 PM
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One day at a time, mom.
Most people do find the shift from county to their home prison of some comfort. They can develop a more stable routine, get into programs or employment. The fact that he's excited about the move is a good sign.
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Iíll send him in magazines, letters, photos and answer every call. Iíll see him as soon as heís allowed and off intake. Weíre going to get through this. Thank you for listening.
I know it's early and your desire to be there for him is strong. I would caution you to pace yourself and encourage him to develop support systems outside of you. Pen pals, religious services, social activities in the prison like sports. 14 years is a long time and you're correct, in a way you're doing this right along with him. You need as much care as he does.

I hope you're able to hear from him soon.
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:14 PM
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Myson89 Myson89 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nancia79 View Post
My son has been moved from county today to the prison where they do intake. Iím walking around today and working trying to keep my mind off of what is going on with him. Iím on my lunch at home right now and wondering where he is, what heís thinking, when heíll call. He turns 20 in a few weeks. I really appreciate this site as it feels like the world just doesnít understand, but how could they if they havenít gone through it? Iím staying positive. Heís excited to finally leave county. Heís been in there almost a year. 14 more to go. No good tone on these Measure 11 robbery crimes. I feel like Iím doing the time right there with him. Gosh this hurts. Heís my baby boy. You never think when youíre changing their diapers, reaching them to walk, holding their chubby little hands that someday they are going to be surrounded by a bunch of men convicts in the penitentiary and be a convict themselves. He loved Scooby Doo. He thought he was Spider-Man. He was such a great big brother. Maybe Iím losing it right now. I donít know. This hurts so bad. I need to hold it together and get back to work. Heís going to be okay. Iím a prayer warrior. I write gratitude lists every morning and pray and that helps tremendously. Iím going to make sure he gets a tv, shoes and headphones with a radio just as soon as heís allowed to. Iíll send him in magazines, letters, photos and answer every call. Iíll see him as soon as heís allowed and off intake. Weíre going to get through this. Thank you for listening.
My prayers are with you and your son.I will never ever forget the day they took my 18 year old son from county to prison to serve 14 years.But trust me when I say that at your first visit you will have some sort of peace because you will be able to hug him and touch him.
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Old 01-16-2018, 06:03 PM
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County jails are usually the worst time in any sentence, so hopefully he will be more comfortable in intake, but even more so once he arrives at his home prison. Communicating with him should improve too.

He needs your love and support more now than ever, so stay strong and take care of yourself.
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Old 01-16-2018, 07:07 PM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
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Believe me I get where you are coming from.

My youngest son, a very wanted and cherished child was sentenced to 8.5 years 4+ years ago. That day will forever be etched in my mind.

It gets easier, not easy, never easy, but it gets easier. I hope that makes sense.

I'm so very sorry you are going thru this.
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Old 01-17-2018, 10:29 AM
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Thinking of you Nancia

I find it truly impressing that you are writing a gratitude list every day - that alone tells me you are going to get through this, no matter what! I am not a mother myself so I can only imagine what you are going through. Sending you strength.
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