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  #51  
Old 01-13-2015, 07:24 AM
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Im saying you are pointing out the fact that "he called it off" saying, oh yeah, why would he do that if it was legit... but then in the next breath you are saying that it's all about respect... well, he respected her by calling off something she was not comfortable doing.

Does that make better sense?
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  #52  
Old 01-13-2015, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Dakini View Post
Im saying you are pointing out the fact that "he called it off" saying, oh yeah, why would he do that if it was legit... but then in the next breath you are saying that it's all about respect... well, he respected her by calling off something she was not comfortable doing.

Does that make better sense?
Yes, I understand what you are saying but MY issue with that is that he did not call it off until some time had passed and quite a few conversations had occurred about the OP not being comfortable about it. To me, and again, only my opinion, he called it off due to the amount of questions and the headache it was becoming not out of respect. And if he did respect her, he wouldn't had played the trust card on her to make her feel badly. He let it go on to long and should have respected her the moment she had her doubts/questions about it. At that point, for me it just all seems too shady.
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  #53  
Old 01-13-2015, 09:12 AM
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Yes, I understand what you are saying but MY issue with that is that he did not call it off until some time had passed and quite a few conversations had occurred about the OP not being comfortable about it. To me, and again, only my opinion, he called it off due to the amount of questions and the headache it was becoming not out of respect. And if he did respect her, he wouldn't had played the trust card on her to make her feel badly. He let it go on to long and should have respected her the moment she had her doubts/questions about it. At that point, for me it just all seems too shady.
I think you paid better attention to the situation than I did. I see what you are saying. I admittedly miss some stuff on threads when Im on my phone and a lot of times Im reading in the middle of the night...
I totally see what you are saying now.
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  #54  
Old 01-13-2015, 09:12 AM
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He's not "deeply offended" that you didn't trust him. He called it off because you got nervous about it and he was afraid you would mess up the transaction.

Someone said "Gaslighting" and that's exactly what his "deeply offended" routine is all about. He made YOU feel bad when he was the one being shady. And now you feel guilty about not trusting him so the next time he asks you to do something, you'll do it so you don't appear to be not trusting him. Ha. He's a classic.

I also noticed how you (the OP) said he explained how it was legitimate, but you didn't make us privy to that conversation. Kinda makes me wonder what his story was, and I suspect you know it's BS so you are not going to tell us so we can't tear it apart.
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  #55  
Old 01-13-2015, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Dakini View Post
I think you paid better attention to the situation than I did. I see what you are saying. I admittedly miss some stuff on threads when Im on my phone and a lot of times Im reading in the middle of the night...
I totally see what you are saying now.
lol....I'm shocked I paid that much attention, I was doing work at the same time.
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Old 01-13-2015, 10:59 PM
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I know I'm late to the party, but I just wanted to put this out there as a PSA of sorts for those whose loved ones are either former or current gang members. In many states, assisting in such a transaction could be sufficient to indict and convict on a charge of associating with a gang/aiding a gang, etc. Prosecutors often include wives, girlfriends, sisters, and other family members in their large-scale gang indictments, regardless of whether that person was actually involved in the gang or even knew about the nature of the transaction. Moreover, gang experts are given immense latitude in forming their opinions, and often define gang activity as broadly as possible. This means that almost any monetary transaction, legitimate or not, is transformed into a crime committed for the benefit of the gang. I personally have seen this happen to multiple women and it's quite tragic.

Be safe, ladies! And when your loved one asks you to do something that seems fishy, remember that prosecutors will never give you the same benefit of the doubt that you're giving your man.

Last edited by btwcm; 01-13-2015 at 11:03 PM..
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  #57  
Old 01-18-2015, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Dakini View Post
Wow, you are all jumping on the not legit bandwagon pretty fast here.

He wants to pay her back for phone money. That's perfectly legit.

He might not want his mom to put money on his books but rather send a MO because he has restitution to pay.

My guy sends me money for phone and expenses related to our relationship like travel. It's not illegal nor illegitimate to send someone money.

Y'all seriously need to chill. You can't take a situation about which you know almost nothing and determine what is going on to be illegal.

I don't think there is anything weird about a guy taking money his mom WANTS TO give him and applying some of it toward paying back a friend, either.

Sometimes I feel like people around here are looking for everyone to be a scumbag user.
And Ms. Dakini Nails it as usual! I agree with the "people looking for everyone to be a scumbag" People seem to have allll the answers when it comes to someone elses issues/problems. But when it comes to looking at your own self, issues..whole different Ballgame.

I don't have enough info to give a reasonable opinion about the $$. Communicate Communicate Communicate!! Best advice I have.
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  #58  
Old 01-22-2015, 11:21 PM
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I don't know if anyone has mentioned this yet but be careful what you say on the phone because it is being recorded. Even if it is Legit just the conversation of money orders, cashing checks, sending money, your confusion, ect. can make the prison take notice and put him on their radar. If you can visit him then that is the best time to talk about this issue because you can talk freely. But I know a lot of ladies aren't in the position to visit a lot. My husband used to be across the state so I could only visit maybe every two months so if on the phone I felt he was trying to tell me something but being vague it was so frustrating. Now that he has been transferred about 20 minutes away he'll just tell me on the phone that he'll explain in visit. It has for sure cut down on silly fights because we misunderstood each other. Good-Luck
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  #59  
Old 01-22-2015, 11:57 PM
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Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
"Not strickly kosher." As in against DOC policy? As in loss of Good Time / Loss of Privileges / Hole Time etc if caught? Yes to all those questions, which is "illegal" in the eyes of the DOC. Anyone on the outside who is caught participating in "not strictly kosher" could lose calls and visits for the duration of their loved one's bid.


I'm sure this varies state to state. In ky an inmate cannot give away his TV, much less sell it and have the money sent from one girlfriend to the other. The inmate has to take their TV with them when released. I know....I have 2 Same consequences as above.

To the op: I'm glad (for your sake) that the deal was called off. However, I would ask him why the hell he's giving out your home address to strangers and without your permission.
In Oregon an inmate is allowed to "Donate" their TV to someone who does not have one when they are being released. My husband got a new bigger TV when they came out so he wanted to give his old one to his friend who didn't have one but wasn't allowed so he just sent it home to me. Now it's in our closet with a bunch of other random stuff. But I'm sure a lot of these "Donations" from released inmates are being paid for by a LO on the streets. My husband's other friend got a "donated" TV and the guys girlfriend sent I think $50 to the guy who gave it to him. But considering how the DOC makes so much money off of selling things to inmates, marking things up sometimes 300% then I say more power to them in this certain circumstance. The inmates pay I think about $300 dollars for a 13 inch TV that on the streets would be maybe $50. Yes I know technically it's wrong but at least the guy now has a TV and it didn't take his entire paycheck from the last five months or so.
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Old 01-26-2015, 02:11 AM
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You must having a feeling something's not right or my guess is you wouldn't have posted about it.
But mine, his family sends me money to give him for the most part. I am like the monopoly banker it's just easier for them this way and I don't mind. There is nothing illegal about it. At thanks giving when the entire family was there they took up a collection and sent it to me so it can be doled out accordingly. And he does give me money if a family member puts money on his books he will keep part of it and send me the rest from his account. He spends little on comisary he would rather have calls and visits. Plus I know he tells me he lives off the land it's cheaper, where they swap out and what not.
He doesn't involve me in shady money, but we were playing cards today and he tried to make up some prison rules lol
Wait, they can legitimately send money OUT to loved ones? (I'm speaking of the Georgia prison system).
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  #61  
Old 01-26-2015, 08:21 AM
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I hope you can find the answers about a GA inmate being allowed to send money home. Some prisons/jails will issue checks against the balance in the prisoner's account (federal prisons for sure), but the answer will depend on the rules of the prison/jail where they are.
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