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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 01-03-2017, 02:45 PM
PatientLove PatientLove is offline
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Arrow Reality Check But Lovingly!!

Hey Ladies (& Gents),

I have just entered the realm of being with an inmate. Another 25 months that go which I don't feel is long compared to a lot of other couples but I'm anxious as hell. I don't want to create a fairytale in my head then be confronted with a nightmare when he gets home. He has always been pretty good at letting me know how much he values me and wants me which is great and a reason why I want to keep him around. Basically I started this forum to get some stories about how others deal with the anticipation, emotional duress and celibacy. When things are going wrong on the outside world I just want his presence to help get me through but unfortunately our calls and visits are limited. I am very open with him and vice versa, initially he old me if I chose to sleep with someone else just not to fall in love and don't tell him about it, fast forward a year and he's telling me I should respect our relationship and wait for him to come home, I'm 27 btw. I haven't slept with anyone else since he left but it crosses my mind (sorry I'm human). I kind of just want to be his support, accept calls, visit when I can and live my life normally until he gets home but I don't want to jeopardize what we could potentially be (husband and wife) but potential is not a guarantee. I also tell him that his whole lifestyle must change if we are going to be together and prison can never be apart of his life again because it's unfair to me. I honestly do see a future with him but the reality is life is hard and struggle is a part of life. He has to adjust to the struggle without going back to crime and humble himself to build from the bottom. I hope this is his last bid and it changes his mindset because I want to live out my thirties living and loving not being monitored by COs when I try to touch my man. Ladies who have got through this, how did you manage and what is your relationship like now that he is home? I'm going to be anticipating this day for a long time.
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Old 01-06-2017, 11:59 PM
Silenus Silenus is offline
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I've read enough on here to not judge how someone copes while their LO is incarcerated no matter how long or short the time is.

Re celibacy: if you fantasize at times I don't blame you. If a little fantasizing helps keep your goal of being celibate then by all means go for it.

You're right potential is no guarantee. I see it as dating anyone else that's on the outside. There is no guarantee you'll marry that person in any amount of time. If you haven't already communicate if either of you wants marriage in their future. Then go from there.

As far as not going back to crime as you stated then draw some real boundaries for yourself. Drawing boundaries will keep your relationship as well as yourself healthy. If there is something you will absolutely not stand for then stand by that. If your boundaries by allowing certain behavior to continue then you're not doing yourself any good at that point.
Also there is area of the forum that talks about what happens when their LO comes home you might want to check out.
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