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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

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  #1  
Old 11-07-2017, 09:55 AM
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Red face How did you tell your MWI that you had feelings for him/her?

I have been writing to J for the past 8 months (found him on WriteAPrisoner) and for the last 2 and a half months of that, we've been talking on the phone as well. We had a strong connection from the beginning, but it started out completely platonic. It was not my intention to become involved with him in any way other than friends, but as soon as we started talking on the phone I was screwed! He just understands me, makes me laugh... blah blah he's perfect basically.

Unfortunately he is all the way in Alaska and I'm in England in the UK, so we haven't been able to meet yet, but I'm planning to visit either 2018 or 2019. I am in contact with his parents who are amazing - they put money on my phone account so he can call me, and they always tell me they are so grateful that J has me in his life. J has never so much as asked me to relay a message to his Mom for him, let alone asked for money or anything like that, so based on that and the fact that his parents know about me, I truly trust him and believe that our friendship is genuine (aka I'm not being used/played).

SO I get the impression that he has feelings for me too as recently he told me that he has written me a letter telling me how he feels about me because he believes life is too short not to tell people what you want to tell them. HOWEVER it hasn't arrived! And he sent it 3 weeks ago nearly. (We always have issues with our mail due to the distance - a lot of times our letters just don't reach each other at all). So I'm going crazy over here wondering what it says and if it will even get here. He refuses to tell me what it says over the phone, he is insisting I have to wait and read what the letter says. But I'm not sure I can hold my feelings in for much longer and will probably blurt something out soon.

So I'm curious to know other people's experiences when crossing the threshold from pen-pals to something more. Who said it first? What did you say? Did it affect things? My main worry is that I'll say something and he won't feel the same, then our bond will be ruined/changed.

Let me know your experiences! And I'd also appreciate any advice on my situation if you have any!

Melissa
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  #2  
Old 11-07-2017, 10:57 AM
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Iím in the same situation, Iíd say wait until his letters arrive! I know itís difficult looking forward to something but this time I think you should wait

Iíve never met my WMI either and Iím moving to the UK next year so Iím also looking for a way to visit him before I move over there.

I wish you the best though! Good luck! Let us know
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Old 11-07-2017, 11:26 AM
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We both hinted at it then I decided to tell him. He must have thought the same thing as I letters crossed mid-Atlantic. I think life is too short to waste time hinting but take it day by day. I'm also in the UK and you can make it work. We are married now and hopefully I will be moving to the States in the next couple of years but we make it work for us.
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Old 11-07-2017, 11:56 AM
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Iím in the same situation, Iíd say wait until his letters arrive! I know itís difficult looking forward to something but this time I think you should wait

Iíve never met my WMI either and Iím moving to the UK next year so Iím also looking for a way to visit him before I move over there.

I wish you the best though! Good luck! Let us know
I'm trying real hard! Problem is that sometimes his letters just never arrive at all. So I can only wait so long before it becomes apparent that I'm just never going to get the letter.

What is bringing you to the UK? I'm going the opposite way across the pond and moving to Canada next year
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Old 11-07-2017, 11:58 AM
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We both hinted at it then I decided to tell him. He must have thought the same thing as I letters crossed mid-Atlantic. I think life is too short to waste time hinting but take it day by day. I'm also in the UK and you can make it work. We are married now and hopefully I will be moving to the States in the next couple of years but we make it work for us.
Yeah I agree, life is too short! I'll be talking to him tonight hopefully, so I'll just ask him and see if I can get anything out of him!

I'm moving to Canada next year hopefully so although I'll still be far away from Alaska, I'll be closer so that should help too

Do you go and visit often?
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Old 11-07-2017, 02:34 PM
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Yeah I agree, life is too short! I'll be talking to him tonight hopefully, so I'll just ask him and see if I can get anything out of him!

I'm moving to Canada next year hopefully so although I'll still be far away from Alaska, I'll be closer so that should help too

Do you go and visit often?
Let us know how it goes
I was going twice a year but the visa process is costly so it's save save save at the moment. You will be closer to him than you are now so it will be easier to visit. The first visit is so special it makes it all real if that makes sense.
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Old 11-07-2017, 02:52 PM
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Let us know how it goes
I was going twice a year but the visa process is costly so it's save save save at the moment. You will be closer to him than you are now so it will be easier to visit. The first visit is so special it makes it all real if that makes sense.
I will

Yes, when I'm living in Canada the flight will cost around £350 instead of the £1,000+ it would cost me from England! So much more manageable. I'm hoping I'll be able to visit a few times a year (if all goes well of course).

I'm super nervous about the first visit, even just thinking about it makes my stomach twist into so many knots! I love reading people's first visit stories - what was yours like?
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Old 11-07-2017, 03:40 PM
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I complimentec him many times, his looks, personality and all, in a way he could guess I was having the hots for him. He flirted back a little, jokingly first. At some point we were talking about feelings in general and people we love, and I was just like : "You know I love you right ?" And was like "Duh ^^ You've not been exactly subtle about that."
Ever since then at least half of every letter I write is a love letter
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Old 11-07-2017, 03:48 PM
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I complimentec him many times, his looks, personality and all, in a way he could guess I was having the hots for him. He flirted back a little, jokingly first. At some point we were talking about feelings in general and people we love, and I was just like : "You know I love you right ?" And was like "Duh ^^ You've not been exactly subtle about that."
Ever since then at least half of every letter I write is a love letter
That's so sweet! I see you're from Germany, have you visited in person yet?

Your comments have made me think that actually he probably knows that I like him because I've mentioned several times that he's good looking... haha. He said that he brags about me but some people think I'm a catfish! Which I took as a weird kind of compliment haha.
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Old 11-07-2017, 03:53 PM
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[quote=melissa323;7676868]I will

Yes, when I'm living in Canada the flight will cost around £350 instead of the £1,000+ it would cost me from England! So much more manageable. I'm hoping I'll be able to visit a few times a year (if all goes well of course).

I'm super nervous about the first visit, even just thinking about it makes my stomach twist into so many knots! I love reading people's first visit stories - what was yours like?[/QUOTE
I was a nervous wreck before my first visit. I couldn't sleep for weeks before i flew over - you know "what if we don't have any chemistry face to face" "what if he doesn't like me face to face"! On the morning I went to visit him I felt sick but as soon as we saw each other it just confirmed what we already knew. It was so good being able to hold his hand and just see his face instead of hearing his voice. But afterwards it felt real and it was worth all the nerves.
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Old 11-07-2017, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by melissa323 View Post
I have been writing to J for the past 8 months (found him on WriteAPrisoner) and for the last 2 and a half months of that, we've been talking on the phone as well. We had a strong connection from the beginning, but it started out completely platonic. It was not my intention to become involved with him in any way other than friends, but as soon as we started talking on the phone I was screwed! He just understands me, makes me laugh... blah blah he's perfect basically.

Unfortunately he is all the way in Alaska and I'm in England in the UK, so we haven't been able to meet yet, but I'm planning to visit either 2018 or 2019. I am in contact with his parents who are amazing - they put money on my phone account so he can call me, and they always tell me they are so grateful that J has me in his life. J has never so much as asked me to relay a message to his Mom for him, let alone asked for money or anything like that, so based on that and the fact that his parents know about me, I truly trust him and believe that our friendship is genuine (aka I'm not being used/played).

SO I get the impression that he has feelings for me too as recently he told me that he has written me a letter telling me how he feels about me because he believes life is too short not to tell people what you want to tell them. HOWEVER it hasn't arrived! And he sent it 3 weeks ago nearly. (We always have issues with our mail due to the distance - a lot of times our letters just don't reach each other at all). So I'm going crazy over here wondering what it says and if it will even get here. He refuses to tell me what it says over the phone, he is insisting I have to wait and read what the letter says. But I'm not sure I can hold my feelings in for much longer and will probably blurt something out soon.

So I'm curious to know other people's experiences when crossing the threshold from pen-pals to something more. Who said it first? What did you say? Did it affect things? My main worry is that I'll say something and he won't feel the same, then our bond will be ruined/changed.

Let me know your experiences! And I'd also appreciate any advice on my situation if you have any!

Melissa
x
Funny! I'm writing with a J to found him also on writeaprisoner
Him and I have been writing for a little over a year now.
I'm from the Netherlands he is from Texas.

We didn't say the words yet, but I feel there is something more there.
In his last letter he wrote me asking if i believe in faith, If I believe it was meant to be meeting each other, and i do believe that.

I didn't wrote to any other guy ever, I saw his picture on the website and it took me about 2 weeks to write my first letter to him,
I couldn't get him off my mind from the moment I saw his profile.
we clicked we have so many things in common it's just weird.

He didn't ask me for any money, always respectful very kind so
I'm gonna keep my eye on this post I'm curious too
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Old 11-07-2017, 04:01 PM
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[quote=judiwoo;7676905]
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I will

Yes, when I'm living in Canada the flight will cost around £350 instead of the £1,000+ it would cost me from England! So much more manageable. I'm hoping I'll be able to visit a few times a year (if all goes well of course).

I'm super nervous about the first visit, even just thinking about it makes my stomach twist into so many knots! I love reading people's first visit stories - what was yours like?[/QUOTE
I was a nervous wreck before my first visit. I couldn't sleep for weeks before i flew over - you know "what if we don't have any chemistry face to face" "what if he doesn't like me face to face"! On the morning I went to visit him I felt sick but as soon as we saw each other it just confirmed what we already knew. It was so good being able to hold his hand and just see his face instead of hearing his voice. But afterwards it felt real and it was worth all the nerves.
I can only imagine!! I bet it's such a good feeling to have everything confirmed before your eyes. But also so sad when you leave I bet?

The rules in J's prison are so strict that we will only be allowed a "brief embrace" at the beginning and end of the visit. No other physical contact is allowed and our chairs even have to be placed a certain distance apart! So until he is free, I will never be able to hold his hand or kiss him - so that sucks. He says that when we meet, he is going to hug me tight for as long as he can but I have advised him probs not a good idea as I don't want to get our visits terminated by pissing off a CO!!
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Old 11-07-2017, 04:07 PM
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Funny! I'm writing with a J to found him also on writeaprisoner
Him and I have been writing for a little over a year now.
I'm from the Netherlands he is from Texas.

We didn't say the words yet, but I feel there is something more there.
In his last letter he wrote me asking if i believe in faith, If I believe it was meant to be meeting each other, and i do believe that.

I didn't wrote to any other guy ever, I saw his picture on the website and it took me about 2 weeks to write my first letter to him,
I couldn't get him off my mind from the moment I saw his profile.
we clicked we have so many things in common it's just weird.

He didn't ask me for any money, always respectful very kind so
I'm gonna keep my eye on this post I'm curious too
I 100% believe that things happen for a reason too. Just think of the thousands of people you could've picked on writeaprisoner! But it was him that you chose, and look what a good choice it was.

Do you guys talk on the phone or just write?
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Old 11-07-2017, 04:29 PM
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I 100% believe that things happen for a reason too. Just think of the thousands of people you could've picked on writeaprisoner! But it was him that you chose, and look what a good choice it was.

Do you guys talk on the phone or just write?

We can't talk over the phone
In Texas they are not allowed to call overseas :
We write a lotttt, he shared everything with me answered all my questions, his sister contacted me telling me how crazy J is about me and she invited me to come over to see him next year He will be released next year after 12 years in so let's see what the future holds

I hope you will get your letter soon! That's just to much to handle but I have a feeling this letter will tell you that he's crazy about you too!
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Old 11-07-2017, 09:36 PM
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I just wrote "I have feelings for you". Was all I could manage to get out.
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Old 11-08-2017, 06:25 PM
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We can't talk over the phone
In Texas they are not allowed to call overseas :
We write a lotttt, he shared everything with me answered all my questions, his sister contacted me telling me how crazy J is about me and she invited me to come over to see him next year He will be released next year after 12 years in so let's see what the future holds

I hope you will get your letter soon! That's just to much to handle but I have a feeling this letter will tell you that he's crazy about you too!
That's so annoying that you aren't able to talk on the phone!! Maybe worth emailing the prison though. J's prison didn't accommodate calls to Europe until I emailed the warden saying it's unfair that I can't speak to him just because I'm in the UK and because of that they changed their phone settings so that he was able to call me. So you never know!

It's so exciting that he will be released next year! I've got at least another 10 years to go before J is a free man

FYI about the letter situation - I just talked to him this evening and he said the letter came back to him because the postal staff didn't put enough postage on it so he sent it again on Monday. Still won't tell me what's in it!!
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Old 11-09-2017, 06:40 AM
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That's so annoying that you aren't able to talk on the phone!! Maybe worth emailing the prison though. J's prison didn't accommodate calls to Europe until I emailed the warden saying it's unfair that I can't speak to him just because I'm in the UK and because of that they changed their phone settings so that he was able to call me. So you never know!

It's so exciting that he will be released next year! I've got at least another 10 years to go before J is a free man

FYI about the letter situation - I just talked to him this evening and he said the letter came back to him because the postal staff didn't put enough postage on it so he sent it again on Monday. Still won't tell me what's in it!!
In Texas they don't make exceptions haha I tried but they are not having it with the phone calls
Yes I'm really excited!! I can't wait to see him finally.
10 years that's something else
ahhh that's nerve wrecking isn't it waiting for this letter I can totally imagine
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Old 11-09-2017, 07:04 AM
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I 100% believe that things happen for a reason too. Just think of the thousands of people you could've picked on writeaprisoner! But it was him that you chose, and look what a good choice it was.

Do you guys talk on the phone or just write?
Just think of dozens womens that will reply to a ad if he is good looking...In my experience people need to make a investigation first,find facebook of famely , check if he is on social media etc... i found out he had a gf and he was talking on phone with another one at list.He told me he recived dozens of letters aniway...So dont be naif and lie to yourself that it is Desteny and things happen for a reason.Make your home work first.
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Old 11-09-2017, 01:51 PM
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Just think of dozens womens that will reply to a ad if he is good looking...In my experience people need to make a investigation first,find facebook of famely , check if he is on social media etc... i found out he had a gf and he was talking on phone with another one at list.He told me he recived dozens of letters aniway...So dont be naif and lie to yourself that it is Desteny and things happen for a reason.Make your home work first.
Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that things didn't end well for you. That must've been a really awful thing to go through & shouldn't happen to anyone!

I totally agree with what you're saying - that's why I did do my research. Like I mentioned earlier in the thread, I am in touch with his parents and they know all about me so that reassures me a lot.

J and I aren't in a relationship at the moment, it's just edging towards the 'confessing feelings' stage, so at this point if he has other pen pals then that's not really anything I can be mad about! Though he tells me all the time that he would feel like he was "pen-pal cheating" on me if he wrote to anyone else. I could be totally wrong of course, but at this point I don't have any reason to believe that he's being untruthful.
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Old 11-09-2017, 01:53 PM
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In Texas they don't make exceptions haha I tried but they are not having it with the phone calls
Yes I'm really excited!! I can't wait to see him finally.
10 years that's something else
ahhh that's nerve wrecking isn't it waiting for this letter I can totally imagine
That's annoying, but at least you'll get to see him in person soon!

Yep 10 years is waaaay too long, and it'll be probably be longer - that's only if his appeals go through which he doesn't think is very likely. Realistically we're looking at another 22 years. I try not to think too much about that bit.

Yeah waiting for the letter is legit torture!! I've never wanted to know what's written on a piece of paper more in my life! Him being so mysterious about it doesn't help hahah.
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Old 11-09-2017, 05:32 PM
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Just think of dozens womens that will reply to a ad if he is good looking...In my experience people need to make a investigation first,find facebook of famely , check if he is on social media etc... i found out he had a gf and he was talking on phone with another one at list.He told me he recived dozens of letters aniway...So dont be naif and lie to yourself that it is Desteny and things happen for a reason.Make your home work first.
Who said i didn't do my homework? And I'm anything but naif believe me
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Old 03-24-2018, 04:40 AM
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Just thought I'd come back and update this thread as I always like when others do the same - love an update!

It's now been a year since we first started writing. We have been officially together for 2 and a half months and could not be happier it just keeps getting better & better. Everything has worked out how it was supposed to and I already can't imagine life without him.

RiRi878 do you have an update? Have you got your visit planned yet?! Tell all
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Old 03-24-2018, 10:08 AM
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Just thought I'd come back and update this thread as I always like when others do the same - love an update!

It's now been a year since we first started writing. We have been officially together for 2 and a half months and could not be happier it just keeps getting better & better. Everything has worked out how it was supposed to and I already can't imagine life without him.

RiRi878 do you have an update? Have you got your visit planned yet?! Tell all

I'm so happy for you Melissa, what a coincidence! J and I made it official last month he's getting out in a couple of months, so I've booked a ticket to spend some time with him we've made so many plans and I'm looking forward to all of them! Wish you all the happiness in the world
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Old 03-24-2018, 10:35 AM
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Thinking back I don't know that one of each other told the other first. We both came to that level and we just went with it. It felt right. We have always been friends and I honestly didn't anticipate a relationship from him but as we went more and more with the flow I caught myself not fighting it. I'm glad i didn't.
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Old 03-24-2018, 12:57 PM
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I met my man through "Meet-a-inmate". So far it's the best choice.. Having just wrote him of my devotion..and him telling me how much he needs me.
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