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  #26  
Old 01-03-2015, 07:03 PM
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NO, he didn't directly ask her to do something illegal with the money. That, however, doesn't preclude the fact that she's being given money that was illegally obtained by someone else, and could be involved in legal proceedings (even if eventually found not to be knowingly involved in the illegal way the money was obtained).

The general pattern is that somebody's scamming or smuggling inside, sending the gains out for whatever reason. You know it happens. She doesn't know if it happened in this instance. And that makes it right for her to question what she's being involved in.
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  #27  
Old 01-03-2015, 07:30 PM
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Originally Posted by xolady View Post
He didn't ask her to do anything illegal. Really it doesn't matter what the money is for he didn't say and really we're adults who know's maybe a friend went to vegas and hit it big! But doesn't have a j-pay account or can't get one. But that isn't any of our place to say its illegal!!!!
I don't understand someone broke in prison and someone on the outside spending the money someone else sent. Let him keep it then, because really he doesn't have that much and is not in any position to pay anyone bills. To me, the person accepting seems very petty, as they should have a way to make money, because they are on the outside and not be relying on someone in jail to pay any kind of bills. He's the one destitute and poor unless he went in rich and kept what he made-seriously-that's just my opinion. Doing favors even if for food and then sending someone else money really isn't looked on by the prison as legitimate. There is a reason that inmates are not allowed to handle money.
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Old 01-03-2015, 07:36 PM
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I'm surprised anyone is defending this, there are red flags galore.

- "Money Coming your Way"
- This whole plan that's obviously trying to avoid some kind of prison control
- changing the subject when pressed.

If it really is coming from his mom, ask her, and she should be the one giving you the money. But I don't think it's legit, it doesn't pass the sniff test - and the penalties for you and your kids are harsh, VERY harsh
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  #29  
Old 01-03-2015, 07:47 PM
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I see everyones point on this right now. Really there is no right or wrong answer at this point until you get more information.
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  #30  
Old 01-03-2015, 08:10 PM
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I'm 99.9999% sure it's not coming from his mom or family. I'll update as I know more.
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Old 01-03-2015, 08:14 PM
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Originally Posted by rutledjw View Post
I'm surprised anyone is defending this, there are red flags galore.

- "Money Coming your Way"
- This whole plan that's obviously trying to avoid some kind of prison control
- changing the subject when pressed.

If it really is coming from his mom, ask her, and she should be the one giving you the money. But I don't think it's legit, it doesn't pass the sniff test - and the penalties for you and your kids are harsh, VERY harsh
OP already stated its not his mom she doesn't know who. Regardless its not illegal for her to receive money and put it on his account. Having been in this position many times its not a big deal. Like I also stated unless its a fraudulent check, there shouldn't be any problem. It could be coming from anyone she doesn't know, and her man was probably being cryptic for a good reason. Not to involve her in anything. JMO
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  #32  
Old 01-03-2015, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by nimuay View Post
NO, he didn't directly ask her to do something illegal with the money. That, however, doesn't preclude the fact that she's being given money that was illegally obtained by someone else, and could be involved in legal proceedings (even if eventually found not to be knowingly involved in the illegal way the money was obtained).

The general pattern is that somebody's scamming or smuggling inside, sending the gains out for whatever reason. You know it happens. She doesn't know if it happened in this instance. And that makes it right for her to question what she's being involved in.
How do you know the money was illegally obtained? Unless I missed something, the op'er has no clue where the money is coming from. I can understand her wanting to question it, but for everyone to automatically say what he's doing is illegal is silly.

And op'er, just because he didn't want to talk about it on the phone doesn't mean he's doing something illegal. There are MANY things my man and I don't talk about on the phone or in letters and save for visits simply because we don't want DOC all up in our business. And we're not doing anything illegal.

You stated that he wrote you a letter explaining, so just wait until you get his letter and proceed from there.
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  #33  
Old 01-03-2015, 08:58 PM
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Miss A, you're correct. I misworded that - left out an 'if' - If she's being given money...

Problem is, she doesn't know. It put her spidey senses a-tingling. That needs investigation, not blithe acceptance.
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  #34  
Old 01-03-2015, 09:02 PM
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Isn't that money laundering?
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:10 PM
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Isn't that money laundering?
LMAO!!! I don't think this is money laundering. Generally money laundering is making dirty money appear clean. And usually on a much bigger scale then $450.
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  #36  
Old 01-03-2015, 09:53 PM
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You must having a feeling something's not right or my guess is you wouldn't have posted about it.
But mine, his family sends me money to give him for the most part. I am like the monopoly banker it's just easier for them this way and I don't mind. There is nothing illegal about it. At thanks giving when the entire family was there they took up a collection and sent it to me so it can be doled out accordingly. And he does give me money if a family member puts money on his books he will keep part of it and send me the rest from his account. He spends little on comisary he would rather have calls and visits. Plus I know he tells me he lives off the land it's cheaper, where they swap out and what not.
He doesn't involve me in shady money, but we were playing cards today and he tried to make up some prison rules lol
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  #37  
Old 01-03-2015, 11:32 PM
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Good to know it's possible that there is a legit situation going on. Its just scary because if it's not then its a major dealbreaker, No way I would be with someone who would throw me in a situation like that. He's in hot water no matter what for "informing" me instead of asking me & giving someone my address. Not to mention giving me hardly any details making me think the worst. Right now I'm trying to chill until I get his letter. He'll know I'm feeling funny but I don't want to talk about it on the phones.
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  #38  
Old 01-04-2015, 12:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yourself View Post
worse, if it's illegal, you could wind up with a felony record, doing time, and losing custody of your child while in prison, and dealing with Child Protective Services after prison.

Not sure if $300 is felony level in FL, or what, but I wouldn't be game for any of it.
Ummmm last time I checked, yourself is correct, the op can absolutely get introuble if what an inmate is doing is illegal so it does matter why and where the money is coming from. You can't just play the ignorance card, things don't work that way. She should absolutely question it and be concerned and the fact that he can't say what it is from on the calls is a good indication that it's not kosher. If it can't be said to be in a letter or call I don't want any part in it for my sake and his. And yeah giving out your address without asking you first is not right either, it's not only you but you do have a child.
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  #39  
Old 01-04-2015, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted by nimuay View Post
Dakini, she doesn't think his mom is supplying the money. So it's coming from someone unknown. Which so often means that outside people are paying for some sort of illegality on the inside. She's right to question the legalities.
I guess I misread that part.
Understanding that now...
The only thing that strikes me as a big deal about this is the unknown source.

I agree. If he can't/won't say where it's coming from on a recorded line, that kinda says a lot.

But there are lots of legit situations in which money could be moved.
Maybe this isn't one of them. :-/
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  #40  
Old 01-04-2015, 09:59 PM
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I have read the comments from a few people on here that seem to think receiving money from an unknown source and putting it on your friend's account is no big deal. if not, then why doesn't the unknown source put the money on your friends account and let him give you the 150? The prisons have computer programs that track and monitor offender deposits and withdrawals, as well as other programs used in gathering evidence of illegal transactions.

I don't mean to sound like the voice of doom, but I am truly concerned about you. If my incarcerated son asked me to do what your friend is asking, I would say no. There could be consequences for you if this happened to be part of a prison investigation. Why risk it?
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  #41  
Old 01-04-2015, 10:08 PM
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If there isn't anything fishy going on neither you or him should have any problem talking about it on the phone.
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  #42  
Old 01-04-2015, 10:21 PM
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He explained how it's legit... also apologized & called it off immediately.
However, I know he's deeply offended that I didn't trust him and even kept questioning him. He's been in over ten years and I know a man's word is all he really has so I get why he's upset.
Guess we both just realized that I don't fully trust him, what's love without trust right?? I do love him like crazy but I can't just turn off my brain...
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  #43  
Old 01-04-2015, 10:50 PM
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Just my two cents, you have every right to any questions you might have, especially in this type of situation. If he didn't want to explain right away, then he shouldn't have asked you to do this for him. When he realized you were "iffy" about it, then he should have explained or called it off right then. What else would anyone have thought if the person is "dodging" valid questions?

Don't beat yourself up over this too much ... He needs to empathize with you & understand that this is NEW to you.

Should you have trusted him? Yes. Should he have answered your questions? Yes. There are many "what ifs" here, not only on your part. Trust is a huge part of love but so is honesty & understanding.

Work it out... love will prevail.. somehow it always does...

Good luck
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  #44  
Old 01-05-2015, 05:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mausi31 View Post
He explained how it's legit... also apologized & called it off immediately.
However, I know he's deeply offended that I didn't trust him and even kept questioning him. He's been in over ten years and I know a man's word is all he really has so I get why he's upset.
Guess we both just realized that I don't fully trust him, what's love without trust right?? I do love him like crazy but I can't just turn off my brain...
I meant what i said when i said don't jump to conclusions. However, nowhere in the "love manual" does it say a woman should turn her brain off. (Too many do with men in or out of prison), and it just isn't smart. This is a prison situation. I don't think you did a thing wrong by being extra careful. I would have been the same way. Glad things worked out,though i don't quite understand why if it was legit, why it couldn't be discussed on the phone?? I mean if it was legit then you don't get in trouble over legit things,right? In any event, i'm glad things worked out for you.
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Old 01-05-2015, 06:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Mausi31 View Post
Good to know it's possible that there is a legit situation going on. Its just scary because if it's not then its a major dealbreaker, No way I would be with someone who would throw me in a situation like that. He's in hot water no matter what for "informing" me instead of asking me & giving someone my address. Not to mention giving me hardly any details making me think the worst. Right now I'm trying to chill until I get his letter. He'll know I'm feeling funny but I don't want to talk about it on the phones.
Just my opinion, but giving someone you don't know your address without asking you shows any lack of trust you might have is well justified.
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  #46  
Old 01-05-2015, 07:16 AM
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xolady: Also if someone owes restitution or a lot for medical they will have another inmate get the money so they can get commissary. Not strictly kosher, but its done all the time.
"Not strickly kosher." As in against DOC policy? As in loss of Good Time / Loss of Privileges / Hole Time etc if caught? Yes to all those questions, which is "illegal" in the eyes of the DOC. Anyone on the outside who is caught participating in "not strictly kosher" could lose calls and visits for the duration of their loved one's bid.


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jeswannabhiswyf: he sold his flat screen TV to his celly. His celly didn't have the money but his girlfriend did. She sent me the money for the TV.
I'm sure this varies state to state. In ky an inmate cannot give away his TV, much less sell it and have the money sent from one girlfriend to the other. The inmate has to take their TV with them when released. I know....I have 2 Same consequences as above.

To the op: I'm glad (for your sake) that the deal was called off. However, I would ask him why the hell he's giving out your home address to strangers and without your permission.
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  #47  
Old 01-12-2015, 11:31 AM
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Honestly? sounds like he is gaslighting you. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being upset in that situation. and him trying to conince you otherwise is bs.
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  #48  
Old 01-12-2015, 03:12 PM
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Also if it was really legit why would he call it off. If it was legit, he should've explained on the phone right off the bat and you don't EVER give out your LO's personal information to unknown people. And now he's just playing the guilt card on you. My bf just recently asked for a favor for a friend inmate, nothing illegal whatsoever about it. I helped him out some but I stopped at a certain point because I did not feel comfortable continuing on. He was upset but I explained why I did not feel comfortable going further and that he may not agree, shit, he doesn't have to agree but he does need to respect my decision and not be a baby about it either. I do everything for him so long as it is legal and for me to say no, it means I have just cause. Respect and trust are a 2-way street and if you don't have communication how can you expect the trust to ever be there! And no matter what you don't push your partner into something they do not feel comfortable about, respect for you should always come first, not greed for money or anything else.
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Old 01-12-2015, 05:38 PM
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Also if it was really legit why would he call it off. If it was legit, he should've explained on the phone right off the bat and you don't EVER give out your LO's personal information to unknown people. And now he's just playing the guilt card on you. My bf just recently asked for a favor for a friend inmate, nothing illegal whatsoever about it. I helped him out some but I stopped at a certain point because I did not feel comfortable continuing on. He was upset but I explained why I did not feel comfortable going further and that he may not agree, shit, he doesn't have to agree but he does need to respect my decision and not be a baby about it either. I do everything for him so long as it is legal and for me to say no, it means I have just cause. Respect and trust are a 2-way street and if you don't have communication how can you expect the trust to ever be there! And no matter what you don't push your partner into something they do not feel comfortable about, respect for you should always come first, not greed for money or anything else.
He called it off for the same reason YOUR boyfriend didn't push YOU to go any further with what he wanted you to do for him.
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Old 01-12-2015, 09:57 PM
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He called it off for the same reason YOUR boyfriend didn't push YOU to go any further with what he wanted you to do for him.
I'm not really understanding what you are trying to say here. And you don't know if he did or not, I never stated that. It's irrelevant.
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