Marrying my "abuser"

[MrzLozano]

Hey Loyal...

I just joined this forum today and stumbled on your posting. FIRST of all CONGRATS on your marriage. I am married and got married to my husband who is a DV offender. We have been together for over a year nowand we would have been welcoming our first addition to our blended family. We have 5 kids in total 2 are from him and 3 are from me... we have a big family!

Anywho, back to the subject... My husband is actually in custody at the moment and is not scheduled to be released until next year. This is the longest he has done and it is so hard on both of us. Being in a relationship with an abuser is tough as it is...

I just wanted to say something...

I love my husband...period. Everyone told me I was crazy that I was going to marry him ( Married him while he was serving time this time...) but if you love someone, you LOVE that person. And if you are willing to go with your heart because you truly love him, then that doesn't make you crazy! It makes you strong enough to stay and love a person who hurt you and isnt really sure how to love completely. But you are patient enough to love him and hope that he will change...more power to you. Love is a strange thing. It is not easy. It is not simple. But if that is what you want, it's your life and make your decision. I did because I truly love him. I wish you ALL the best and will keep you and your future husband in my prayers that everything will go good for you both...

[verito7981]

Originally Posted by InmateLover67

Yes, it is a place for support, however, having been in more than one abusive relationship, I will NOT support her marrying a man that has put his hands on her, especially if HE has not gotten help for his issues.

This is a public forum and anyone can share their opinions and heart, if it offends, oh well, can't make everyone happy. I will be a debbie downer until she comes back and proves that this man has not abused her in ANY way a year from his release date, or even two years.

People are only sharing because they care and do not want to see her end up hurt, or even dead. Hopefully, she will have positive results, but the statistics prove otherwise. Just sayin!

Peace~

Well the last time my husband and I had any issues was 6yrs ago, his counseling and mine has helped us see we Dan resolve issues without anger and hurting eachother. So it is possible. When he went to prison for 25months it was violating probation for not completing classes. So dnt assume it can't happen because it can.

Sent from my ADR6300 using PrisonTalk

[bumblebee37]

[quote=MrzLozano;6869765]
I am married and got married to my husband who is a DV offender. We have been together for over a year nowand we would have been welcoming our first addition to our blended family. We have 5 kids in total 2 are from him and 3 are from me...

Just out of curiosity, were those DV issue's against you?

[Free Again]

Originally Posted by MrzLozano

Hey Loyal...

I just joined this forum today and stumbled on your posting. FIRST of all CONGRATS on your marriage. I am married and got married to my husband who is a DV offender. We have been together for over a year nowand we would have been welcoming our first addition to our blended family. We have 5 kids in total 2 are from him and 3 are from me... we have a big family!

Anywho, back to the subject... My husband is actually in custody at the moment and is not scheduled to be released until next year. This is the longest he has done and it is so hard on both of us. Being in a relationship with an abuser is tough as it is...

I just wanted to say something...

I love my husband...period. Everyone told me I was crazy that I was going to marry him ( Married him while he was serving time this time...) but if you love someone, you LOVE that person. And if you are willing to go with your heart because you truly love him, then that doesn't make you crazy! It makes you strong enough to stay and love a person who hurt you and isnt really sure how to love completely. But you are patient enough to love him and hope that he will change...more power to you. Love is a strange thing. It is not easy. It is not simple. But if that is what you want, it's your life and make your decision. I did because I truly love him. I wish you ALL the best and will keep you and your future husband in my prayers that everything will go good for you both...

I cannot even wrap my head around this, it makes my heart ache on SOOOO many levels. "Would" have been welcoming a new addition?. what does that mean? My lil girls still have the occaisional nightmare 5 years out, leaving out what I am sstill going through with the PTSD. I pray that your five children are never as traumatised as my babies were. I pray for you.... All I can say is that I am glad that you and your children are not in immediate danger and I hope that BB never has to knock on your door. HUGS

[Nieves915]

its late ladies and we are all wrapped tight right now... I hope you each have a great night and that when we all wake up in the morning we are all feeling just a little bit better.....

[LifeTraveler]

Having been a survivor of domestic abuse myself, I'm going to say this, and then close this thread. You ladies did an admirable job in attempts to educate. I'm closing this thread because it really has run it's course.