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  #101  
Old 07-12-2017, 03:30 PM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
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I just received a call from her, my best friend. Her mom, someone we both love and deeply respect, has had a long hard day. Our conversation started about her, but it ended being about us. I have never felt so close to someone as I did just now on a phone call.
One of the hardest things for our LOs is not being able to help and comfort those they love. Tammy was wound up tighter than a $2.00 watch when our daughter was having problems.
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  #102  
Old 07-13-2017, 08:16 PM
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Very glad to hear this, Wilkes - and also sad.
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  #103  
Old 07-14-2017, 07:59 AM
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Very glad to hear this, Wilkes - and also sad.
Thanks. I think we outmates might take too much of the world for granted simply because we're immersed in it. We might not notice things like the songs of birds that are only active in the evening or the difference in the way the air smells after sunset. My wife mentioned those and other things I don't think about when she told me about her visit. She said a McDonald's big mac, fries and a shake was a very special treat. I eat Micky D's stuff frequently, pretty much without tasting it, simply because it's cheap, convenient and filling. Seeing things through their eyes can be an eye opener.
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  #104  
Old 07-15-2017, 02:16 PM
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My LO is very fortunate that she gets to eat outside food at least once a month as part of the Children's program that her and her kids are in at the prison. They bring in food like Olive Garden and other places. This is big, specially because they don't get lunch Friday through Sunday. I'm hoping we are downward slope. Today at the visit we were talking about things that need to be taken care of when she first gets home.

We ate our first French toast bacon cheese and egg sandwich out of vending machine today. It was surprisingly good. No maple syrup, it did have a packet of corn syrup. Lol.
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  #105  
Old 07-27-2017, 01:46 PM
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Default Hello guys I am new here.

My wife of 17 years recently received a 4 years sentence, 3 years deffered, and will home on house arrest following 90 days in a minimum security prison in OKC. She is still in county waiting to "break chain". I am learning all sorts of new jail talk. I am able to visit her every Saturday but for only 15 minutes and it is through the glass petition. I write her non stop and other than the boredom and dramatic change in life she is doing extremely well. This is only my second post so hopefully I do it right.
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  #106  
Old 07-27-2017, 02:03 PM
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My wife of 17 years recently received a 4 years sentence, 3 years deffered, and will home on house arrest following 90 days in a minimum security prison in OKC. She is still in county waiting to "break chain". I am learning all sorts of new jail talk. I am able to visit her every Saturday but for only 15 minutes and it is through the glass petition. I write her non stop and other than the boredom and dramatic change in life she is doing extremely well. This is only my second post so hopefully I do it right.
Hi there you are doing really well, it will seemlike no time before your wife is home and you are there to support her so she will get through this and be able to move on with her life.
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  #107  
Old 07-28-2017, 11:31 AM
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My wife of 17 years recently received a 4 years sentence, 3 years deffered, and will home on house arrest following 90 days in a minimum security prison in OKC. She is still in county waiting to "break chain". I am learning all sorts of new jail talk. I am able to visit her every Saturday but for only 15 minutes and it is through the glass petition. I write her non stop and other than the boredom and dramatic change in life she is doing extremely well. This is only my second post so hopefully I do it right.
Hey Mac, welcome to PTO, glad you found us.

The waiting game can be exhausting, can't it? Hopefully she "breaks the chain" soon and you can start that 90 day countdown. Sometimes a short sentence is harder to cope with than a longer sentence because with a longer sentence there's sort of an easing into a routine. A shorter one like this....there's no routine, it's more like a blitz.

I hope you will find good support here.

-E
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  #108  
Old 07-28-2017, 11:51 AM
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My wife of 17 years recently received a 4 years sentence, 3 years deffered, and will home on house arrest following 90 days in a minimum security prison in OKC.
Hi Mac!
Glad you found us and welcome!

PS. Love your name. :P
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  #109  
Old 08-05-2017, 11:07 AM
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This past Monday we were both on cloud 9 with the news her parole. Then life kicked back in and she pulled inward for a few days and went quiet. Finally she called again this morning. It was so good to hear her voice again. I knew she was ok because she was still calling the kids and her mom every night. I knew she just needed time to take in the news, but it was still a wonderful feeling to talk with her, joy.
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  #110  
Old 08-05-2017, 11:11 AM
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Hi Mac!
Glad you found us and welcome!

PS. Love your name. :P
The funny thing is my wife's name is Maria but I call her Mia 😂😂
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  #111  
Old 08-05-2017, 01:07 PM
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This past Monday we were both on cloud 9 with the news her parole. Then life kicked back in and she pulled inward for a few days and went quiet. Finally she called again this morning. It was so good to hear her voice again. I knew she was ok because she was still calling the kids and her mom every night. I knew she just needed time to take in the news, but it was still a wonderful feeling to talk with her, joy.
Thinking about being on parole with the relative freedom it will provide must be daunting. Moving from one society to another always is.
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  #112  
Old 08-05-2017, 05:03 PM
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She knows there is a going to be period of significant adjustment. We have been talking about it. There are some unknowns, but there are some issues we can see coming. Her big worry is somehow letting down the kids again and my big worry is her not taking time to take care of herself. It's great that we can talk about those things now.
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  #113  
Old 08-08-2017, 01:01 PM
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So we found out that her county time does not count towards the "90 day". It was somewhat crushing to hear that. Then we both realized that she was extremely fortunate to only serve 90 days of the 5 year sentence. Sure, county is boring but a few more weeks in county is much better than 5 years!!
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  #114  
Old 08-08-2017, 01:06 PM
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So we found out that her county time does not count towards the "90 day". It was somewhat crushing to hear that. Then we both realized that she was extremely fortunate to only serve 90 days of the 5 year sentence. Sure, county is boring but a few more weeks in county is much better than 5 years!!
Sorry it worked out that way. It's definitely unfair!
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  #115  
Old 08-20-2017, 07:53 AM
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Good visit yesterday; lots of good things to talk about. There were a few hard prison things to talk about. But there were lots to be thankful for. She is healthy and happy. The kids are counting down and they are doing really well. I'm always thinking too much about things that will work themselves out, but I'm good too.
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  #116  
Old 08-20-2017, 09:46 PM
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Good visit yesterday; lots of good things to talk about. There were a few hard prison things to talk about. But there were lots to be thankful for. She is healthy and happy. The kids are counting down and they are doing really well. I'm always thinking too much about things that will work themselves out, but I'm good too.


It's getting close! Soon the conversations and the time spent will be on this side of the fence
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  #117  
Old 08-21-2017, 06:39 AM
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It's getting close! Soon the conversations and the time spent will be on this side of the fence

No set date yet, but we have given the kids the longest likely day to count down to, her TPM, Sept 30. Last week we found out that the Board applied all of her PIC points (earned good time, each one counting for a month, she had 12 which means a 12 month earlier release than her TPM) so in theory she could go home at any point now. But the paper work must be completed and wheels of the system must turn. We had requested an early vote and were granted the vote by the Board, but I'm sure that causes some entropy in the GDC administrative process. Anyway, after so much uncertainty for so long we can live with this uncertainty!
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  #118  
Old 08-21-2017, 08:29 AM
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In two weeks or so we can finally have a visit that is not just 15 minutes long and talking on the phone through class. Our 8 year old son is really looking forward to it. Our 16 year old daughter is refusing to go. Dealing with her has been the most difficult thing out of this whole ordeal. I know kids at school give her a hard time about it, and she is at that over dramatic stage in her life where she thinks her life is over because kids make fun of her. Also, I could start a whole new post on how much she has been acting out. She has the whole "my mom was selling drugs so why do I have to follow any rules" mindset. It is exhausting.
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  #119  
Old 08-21-2017, 12:37 PM
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No set date yet, but we have given the kids the longest likely day to count down to, her TPM, Sept 30. Last week we found out that the Board applied all of her PIC points (earned good time, each one counting for a month, she had 12 which means a 12 month earlier release than her TPM) so in theory she could go home at any point now. But the paper work must be completed and wheels of the system must turn. We had requested an early vote and were granted the vote by the Board, but I'm sure that causes some entropy in the GDC administrative process. Anyway, after so much uncertainty for so long we can live with this uncertainty!
You must both be on cloud 9! I hope she gets released very soon!
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  #120  
Old 08-21-2017, 12:54 PM
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In two weeks or so we can finally have a visit that is not just 15 minutes long and talking on the phone through class. Our 8 year old son is really looking forward to it. Our 16 year old daughter is refusing to go. Dealing with her has been the most difficult thing out of this whole ordeal. I know kids at school give her a hard time about it, and she is at that over dramatic stage in her life where she thinks her life is over because kids make fun of her. Also, I could start a whole new post on how much she has been acting out. She has the whole "my mom was selling drugs so why do I have to follow any rules" mindset. It is exhausting.
I'm sorry your daughter's having such a hard time and you're having one with her. We went through it in spades with our daughter. I'll PM you.
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  #121  
Old 08-21-2017, 03:00 PM
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In two weeks or so we can finally have a visit that is not just 15 minutes long and talking on the phone through class. Our 8 year old son is really looking forward to it. Our 16 year old daughter is refusing to go. Dealing with her has been the most difficult thing out of this whole ordeal. I know kids at school give her a hard time about it, and she is at that over dramatic stage in her life where she thinks her life is over because kids make fun of her. Also, I could start a whole new post on how much she has been acting out. She has the whole "my mom was selling drugs so why do I have to follow any rules" mindset. It is exhausting.

Hang in there Mac, visitation can be very tough on kids and teens. I'm sure you will get some good advice here. I'm glad your 8 year old is up for it. I know it will mean a lot to your wife.
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  #122  
Old 08-21-2017, 03:12 PM
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You must both be on cloud 9! I hope she gets released very soon!

Yes, and the kids and her mom too!
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  #123  
Old 08-21-2017, 07:45 PM
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In two weeks or so we can finally have a visit that is not just 15 minutes long and talking on the phone through class. Our 8 year old son is really looking forward to it. Our 16 year old daughter is refusing to go. Dealing with her has been the most difficult thing out of this whole ordeal. I know kids at school give her a hard time about it, and she is at that over dramatic stage in her life where she thinks her life is over because kids make fun of her. Also, I could start a whole new post on how much she has been acting out. She has the whole "my mom was selling drugs so why do I have to follow any rules" mindset. It is exhausting.
Have you thought about individual therapy, so she has a safe place to vent? Also, maybe family therapy down the line to help everyone heal?

My guys older child is fine with everything, but younger child is more withdrawn from everything. Took him a month initially to answer his phone to talk to him. When he did, he was crying and apologizing. For kids, it is rough.
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  #124  
Old 08-28-2017, 06:51 PM
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It's been tough. I'm currently going through the county to state transition and the wait has been awful. Today marks three weeks since I've spoken to my fiancee' and I'm hoping she gets classified before the week is out so she can at least call me.
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  #125  
Old 08-29-2017, 05:58 PM
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It's been tough. I'm currently going through the county to state transition and the wait has been awful. Today marks three weeks since I've spoken to my fiancee' and I'm hoping she gets classified before the week is out so she can at least call me.
Hey man, we've all been there (or are going to be there soon in a couple cases.) Completely understand. Texas and California's processes are not exactly the same but similar so I know how it feels to go those weeks without a phone call. My thoughts are with you. Hopefully she will be able to call soon.

What are you doing to get through the time right now?

-E
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