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  #26  
Old 12-12-2016, 02:41 PM
amyramiro amyramiro is offline
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Originally Posted by miamac View Post
if you're finished then i guess it doesn't matter.

But since you asked--

no, i don't expect money from my incarcerated partner. Maybe some do, those in a position as scott described may have the means and desire. I guess in my mind when you decide to partner with someone who is incarcerated, you do it knowing that they aren't going to be able to contribute equally to the financial part of your relationship. A failure to understand or accept that is going to lead to a lot of hurt and disappointment. When people ask "should i pursue this relationship as mwi?" i always bring up the cost. Whether it's money on their books (which i always see as a gift), the cost of visits, phone time or mail...these relationships are costly.

Better to admit that it's not something you're ok with and back out than punish him for something that's inherent to the situation.
yes but dude never send me pictures or letters was weird do ur write u send u pictures ? I dont really got probllem sending money when i can its just fact dude asking for more to borrrow when i send all i could an he never writes or send pictures a lil weird i ask an ask no request a man wanted be lovely dovely i love love letters
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  #27  
Old 12-12-2016, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by amyramiro View Post
yes but dude never send me pictures or letters was weird do ur write u send u pictures ? I dont really got probllem sending money when i can its just fact dude asking for more to borrrow when i send all i could an he never writes or send pictures a lil weird i ask an ask no request a man wanted be lovely dovely i love love letters
Well, sure. But that's not about money, then, that's about him generally not being invested in the relationship. It sounds like he's using you for what little monetary kick you can give him and that's uncool. I get that. I just don't want to promote the idea than someone behind bars should be expected to contribute financially when that's not the reality for most.

If he's acting like a dog, then walk away and save yourself the headache.
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  #28  
Old 12-12-2016, 06:43 PM
amyramiro amyramiro is offline
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Originally Posted by miamac View Post
well, sure. But that's not about money, then, that's about him generally not being invested in the relationship. It sounds like he's using you for what little monetary kick you can give him and that's uncool. I get that. I just don't want to promote the idea than someone behind bars should be expected to contribute financially when that's not the reality for most.

If he's acting like a dog, then walk away and save yourself the headache.
thanx i did some other guy he writes me an sent me flowers for my bday an all he sweet
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  #29  
Old 12-12-2016, 09:06 PM
redtop43 redtop43 is offline
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When you choose to write to an inmate, you should realize that they have no money to speak of. Only a tiny minority make enough money to buy more than soap and toothpaste and the occasional granola bar.

At a minimum it seems to me that an outside penpal should provide money for writing supplies, and phone if that's part of the relationship. That's just courtesy.

If you chose to date someone in a wheelchair, would you be angry when they don't help you move the furniture?

I would also take issue with the term "dating an inmate." I'm sure others will disagree. Perhaps if you had an established relationship pre-incarceration and you arrange your lives for significant interaction - MissingDee would be a good example. But not a mere penpal, if either or both of you have other penpals.

If you don't feel a connection, stop writing. I've gone on a zillion first dates where there was no second date; a first letter doesn't imply a lifelong correspondence.

Some inmates are just there for the money. Period. I don't know about the men but I do about the women. One girl, who was on the unit with my ex-girlfriend, asked me to help her set up a penpal profile and admitted candidly that she wasn't looking for penpals, she was looking for money. No doubt she'll talk sweetly and promise whatever she feels will get her remunerated well, but she's just there for money.

Most relationships are not precisely 50/50 in every aspect. Why should a prison relationship be? If anything it should be further.
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  #30  
Old 12-12-2016, 09:18 PM
amyramiro amyramiro is offline
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Originally Posted by redtop43 View Post
when you choose to write to an inmate, you should realize that they have no money to speak of. Only a tiny minority make enough money to buy more than soap and toothpaste and the occasional granola bar.

At a minimum it seems to me that an outside penpal should provide money for writing supplies, and phone if that's part of the relationship. That's just courtesy.

If you chose to date someone in a wheelchair, would you be angry when they don't help you move the furniture?

I would also take issue with the term "dating an inmate." i'm sure others will disagree. Perhaps if you had an established relationship pre-incarceration and you arrange your lives for significant interaction - missingdee would be a good example. But not a mere penpal, if either or both of you have other penpals.

If you don't feel a connection, stop writing. I've gone on a zillion first dates where there was no second date; a first letter doesn't imply a lifelong correspondence.

Some inmates are just there for the money. Period. I don't know about the men but i do about the women. One girl, who was on the unit with my ex-girlfriend, asked me to help her set up a penpal profile and admitted candidly that she wasn't looking for penpals, she was looking for money. No doubt she'll talk sweetly and promise whatever she feels will get her remunerated well, but she's just there for money.

Most relationships are not precisely 50/50 in every aspect. Why should a prison relationship be? If anything it should be further.
ya its in my post i said i stop taliking to him an alll, if am sending someone money an letters i inspect him write me back an send pictures wasnt the case not woorry aboout money but when someone ask u after u send em money than its problem ,,,,,,but yeah i been stop talkinng to him an know that
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  #31  
Old 12-14-2016, 12:46 PM
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Maybe give a go at dating a guy who isnt locked up?
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  #32  
Old 12-14-2016, 12:54 PM
amyramiro amyramiro is offline
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Maybe give a go at dating a guy who isnt locked up?
well its dateing before anything else we wwas but he was taking me for granted no pictures no letters but am sending him money not cool ,.. i been move on just got friends lockup now
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  #33  
Old 12-24-2016, 12:09 AM
Faith123 Faith123 is offline
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He can't take care of you unless he is involved in illegal activities. 15 dollars a month isn't much money at all.
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  #34  
Old 12-24-2016, 07:44 AM
Raf's Girl Raf's Girl is offline
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If you want to date him you have to invest in him it is that simple. 15 dollar is just enough to get by a month don't expect him to invest in paper and stamps. If you want him in your life you need to help the guy.
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