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  #1  
Old 12-18-2016, 04:49 PM
Mrsa77 Mrsa77 is offline
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Unhappy Sorry I need encouragement 😞

I guess I just need encouragement... I was so heartbroken and frustrated when my husband wrote to me saying that in the pictures I sent him my wedding band was on the wrong hand apparently he was trying to show me off or whatever and the guy said ""eee she has her ring on the wrong finger" it was a mirror selfie so of course the picture just captures the reflection but if you look at it properly then you'll realize I have it on properly. He's getting so discouraged as he's in reception I write him every day and he's only received 2 in over a month! I'm scared he'd get so discouraged to the point that he'll just break things off with me... any advice... sorry if it sounds childish just a genuine insecurity
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Old 12-18-2016, 05:07 PM
R&R R&R is offline
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Ok. Now you definitely have the right to chalk up at least part of my tone to my mood today, but, gee whiz to your guy.

If he is getting hung up on something like that so much that he doesn't find the time in there to try to think at least a tad logically (i.e. mirror image), then he needs to sit down with himself and start breathing. And thinking. Yes, he is in a stressful situation, but a) he put himself there, and b) he does not have to pass that stress to you ("my husband wrote to me saying that in the pictures I sent him my wedding band was on the wrong hand"). He also has to start to sort out opinions and thoughts on his own - and who to listen to in there ("eee she has her ring on the wrong finger"")

He is going to face more trials and tribulations during his life that he is going to have to deal with. Just as you are. You will need to face them as they come. And put them in to honest perspective. But to worry yourself sick because he is discouraged at the mail room for not passing him his mail that he is obviously straining you. Sorry. He needs to face some realism. "... he'd get so discouraged to the point that he'll just break things off with me" just because of little things like that, what is he going to do if he actually faces a true problem?
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Old 12-18-2016, 05:19 PM
Mrsa77 Mrsa77 is offline
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Wow thank you very much R&R you really actually helped me to put things in to persepective better... I feel dumb for even being insecure over it... I guess it's just stress
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Old 12-18-2016, 07:21 PM
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miamac miamac is offline
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Originally Posted by Mrsa77 View Post
Wow thank you very much R&R you really actually helped me to put things in to persepective better... I feel dumb for even being insecure over it... I guess it's just stress
No need to feel dumb (or to apologize for asking for support, ever). We've all had out "little" stumbles that have turned into mountains to climb. And we'll have them again. They're just different things for different people.

That said...being in reception seems to bring out the worst in people if any place is going to do it. It's boring and yet chaotic thanks to a lack of info, it's looooong, it's limited contact with their LOs.

Here's my take for what it's worth: yes he's acting out, no, it's not ok to put this back on you. R&R covered that one pretty well.

But what can YOU do to take care of you in response? Don't apologize, don't take on his stress. Remind him you love him, you're not going anywhere and that you're doing what you can to keep communication flowing, and ASK him if the guys around him are having the same slow down in mail/frustration with reception conditions. This should force him to look at his own behavior and if you're lucky he'll realize he's not the only fish in that pond struggling with the same damn thing.
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