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Maryland General Prison Talk, Introductions & Chit Chat Topics & Discussions relating to Prison & the Criminal Justice System in Maryland that do not fit into any other Maryland sub-forum category. Please feel free to also introduce yourself to other members in the state and talk about whatever topics come to mind that may not have anything to do with prison.

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  #1  
Old 07-05-2010, 10:46 AM
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Question Can anyone help? Struggling to make ends meet while he's gone.

I am trying to hold it down for him and just maintain what we have left, it's harder than I let on. I would never want to say to him.. I just cant do this anymore.. I am really struggling. One income and 4 mouths to feed and clothed is really starting to wear me down. I lost my job last September, so I am doing this on unemployement and child support. When he was home my paychecks were for decorating and purchasing dump stuff really, as well as saving for a rainy day. Well that rainy day has long past. I lost my job in September and have been robbing Peter to pay Paul every since. My job hunt is crazy.it seems to be non existant. I am desperate, I have even thought of working in a McDonalds..well 3 or 4 of them to make ends meet...I cant find a job anywhere near what I used to make at my old job and entry level work is not even more than my unemployment check. Is there anyone out there is Maryland who has the ups on an open job..please feel free to email me personally if you dont wish to blast this information..but at this time my husband and children need me and I feel like Im drowning in debt. Im sure I am not alone in this ..but at this point pride has left the building..just between us ... I need help.

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Last edited by browpa1; 07-05-2010 at 10:47 AM.. Reason: Incorrect spelling
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Old 07-08-2010, 07:27 PM
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where in MD are you located?
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:17 PM
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Times are tough all over right now, but even more when you are a single parent trying to make ends meet without your partner's help. Not only that, the cost of calls and other things just stretch a budget already stretched to the max. I have worked many extra jobs over the years to help out so keep all your options open. Hopefully something will come along soon!
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:24 PM
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I dont know how you feel about it but maybe you could apply for some assistance? Food stamps really help!!!
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Old 09-10-2016, 03:30 PM
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Default Its years later, but I'm having the same issue....

I lost my job the same day my husband had to turn himself in....that day, it didn't really hit me because I was already in so much pain from knowing I was going to have to leave him at that horrible place. But now I have been frantically applying for jobs, I'm out of $, he has $0 on his commissary, our phone acct is almost at $0, our rent AND cell phones are due!!!! I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out, by not letting him know because he has enough to deal with already!!!! Anyone know of any jobs? I live in Baltimore. Or where I can get any assistance (not food stamps, I need $ for BILLS!!!)???
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Old 09-10-2016, 03:36 PM
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Contact a Catholic church in your area. They almost always have resources for families in crisis-- food bank, clothes for kids, sometimes resources to help with utilities and the like. In my city it was called Catholic Community Services and any church was able to direct me in the right location.

As for not telling your husband, you need to let that go and tell him. This is not your burden to carry alone and pretty soon you'll find yourself fighting because there's no money on the phone and he will have no idea why. Save yourself that stress and be honest with him. This is in part his doing, and needs to be, in part, his responsibility to deal with even if that means not having a few extra soups in his cell.
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Old 09-10-2016, 03:43 PM
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Try local churches....sometimes they have a budget and will pay at least part of your rent or utilities. Call a crisis center in your area and ask for numbers for any resources they have to help you financially.

If you get food stamps, ask about the free 500 minutes a month cell phone that you are also eligible for.

As for employment, try temp agencies in your area....often those positions are temp-to-hire and can lead to permanent employment.

I know of no place that will help with his commissary needs.
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Old 09-10-2016, 03:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miamac View Post
Contact a Catholic church in your area. They almost always have resources for families in crisis-- food bank, clothes for kids, sometimes resources to help with utilities and the like. In my city it was called Catholic Community Services and any church was able to direct me in the right location.

As for not telling your husband, you need to let that go and tell him. This is not your burden to carry alone and pretty soon you'll find yourself fighting because there's no money on the phone and he will have no idea why. Save yourself that stress and be honest with him. This is in part his doing, and needs to be, in part, his responsibility to deal with even if that means not having a few extra soups in his cell.
Thank you!!!! He DOES know about everything to an extent....obviously he knows he has no $ on commissary, and he tells me not to worry about him, that he wants every cent I get to stay with me. And he knows the phone fund is running low too....and he knows when our bills are due, so he KNOWS, I just don't freak out as much to him because he has so much to deal with himself. Him freaking out about me in there will do no good for him. He does start the work release program this week, and plans to send $ to me every week once he starts getting paid. It won't be much, but it'll be enough to take care of his commissary (a few bucks every week), the phone acct for our calls, and enough to pay the smaller bills (like phones & car insurance), so I just need to get a job ASAP so I can come up with rent. Thank you so much for your suggestion, I will absolutely call on Monday!!!!
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Old 09-10-2016, 03:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
Try local churches....sometimes they have a budget and will pay at least part of your rent or utilities. Call a crisis center in your area and ask for numbers for any resources they have to help you financially.

If you get food stamps, ask about the free 500 minutes a month cell phone that you are also eligible for.

As for employment, try temp agencies in your area....often those positions are temp-to-hire and can lead to permanent employment.

I know of no place that will help with his commissary needs.
Thank you so much!!!! I really appreciate all the quick replies with such great ideas!!!!
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Old 09-10-2016, 04:38 PM
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Yes obviously there are some big things going on with obvious solutions, like him being incarcerated and you really needing a good job. But I was going to suggest on the side to put your brainstorming hat on. Sometimes the little things also make a difference. When I was a single mom, I had all sorts of clever little things I would do to pad my income, exchange needs with others, and to lower my overhead. Especially if he is to be gone for an extended period of time you may need to make some changes in your current lifestyle/situation.

Loss of control can equal depression, and if there's anything you can't afford it's that!
So even gaining control in little ways can do wonders for your psyche and help you keep pressing forward, until bigger things can come underway and you can breathe easier. Hang in there!!
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Old 09-10-2016, 04:41 PM
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hey wait a second - the OPs post is over 6 years old!! Heh, I didn't catch that. I was feeling really terrible about the plight of her and her 4 kids, because that's really hard. I hoped it all worked out!
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Old 09-10-2016, 04:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TawnyStar View Post
Yes obviously there are some big things going on with obvious solutions, like him being incarcerated and you really needing a good job. But I was going to suggest on the side to put your brainstorming hat on. Sometimes the little things also make a difference. When I was a single mom, I had all sorts of clever little things I would do to pad my income, exchange needs with others, and to lower my overhead. Especially if he is to be gone for an extended period of time you may need to make some changes in your current lifestyle/situation.

Loss of control can equal depression, and if there's anything you can't afford it's that!
So even gaining control in little ways can do wonders for your psyche and help you keep pressing forward, until bigger things can come underway and you can breathe easier. Hang in there!!
Thank u so much....sometimes just hearing that someone else understands really helps. I've definitely fallen into a bit of a depression. I imagine everyone going thru this does. It's a huge life change, no matter how long. He & I have been together for 15 years and have never spent more than 1-2 nights apart at the most. Just feel very alone & lonely & sad....and on top of that, insanely stressed about $. It's a bad combo. I keep pushing, every day I apply for more jobs, I do the things that I absolutely have to do....but once I'm done, I just cry.
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Old 09-10-2016, 05:53 PM
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OK well I'm glad you were able to get something from my post. I saw another one of yours too and I have to say the best thing to do is to get some of this franticness in order. This is big for you and unchartered territory if you have never been apart in essentially your whole adult life.

When I am depressed or overwhelmed I like to invoke the dichotomy of "big mind, little mind" (something I picked up during a residency at a Buddhist temple). Basically it all seems huge to you, but take a breather & give your brain a rest. I can understand it's a tragic situation in your life (would be for anyone) but in the BIG PICTURE it is very small when you use "big mind". Hope this is making sense. So I like to study the mathematics of the universe or watch a documentary about something going on, on the opposite side of the world, etc. Do you see what I mean? You have to give your brain a break or else you might go crazy.

Being in service of another is also a very good way to remove yourself and feel a larger sense. It has a natural uplifting effect. And being thankful. Finding things to be thankful for every day, despite the circumstances. These things are a lot more powerful than people realize. I've definitely been through some hard times and employ these things frequently. They're the tools in my "toolbox".

Also learn a lot here. There's a lot of wisdom and years of postings. There are sections where people are staying with their mate who has a life sentence - so some of their techniques may be able to be translated in a way that will help you too.

To add, I don't know if you're one of those people that likes herb remedies or not. I'm only halfway sold on them and use only what I'm sure works and really need. If I'm really low or getting through a hard period I'll use this herbal pill called "Positive Thoughts" by Source Naturals. It works (without making you tired or high). You can get it on amazon. It definitely has an effect to lift you a bit and take some of that depressive sticky haze off.

Some of this franticness will die down as you adjust. Adaptation will make it easier on you. It's the same thing inmates go through. The first few weeks are really long & hard, but after a few months, when they blend in and are down with the routine, life goes on as usual. It's that way with every tragedy. Time has a way of evening things out.

I don't know if this all what was you are looking for, but as soon as you said depression, I thought oh girl, I have a few things up my sleeve!
Take it easy.
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Old 09-10-2016, 09:23 PM
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When I needed extra cash I ebayed and kept selling on ebay. You can get more for stuff then a pawn shop. And believe it or not clothing sales on ebay! You pay the postage from the proceeds that are not released to you until the item reaches the buyer. But, I was able to make some money from this. Just an idea til you get a job. We all have stuff we dont NEED. Now I buy low and sale high. Kind of gave up for a few months but I made between 100 and 500 a month just from sale or resale items. All legal to sale your own stuff and just make sure you start out with a opening bid that you can live with. Lets say you sale several articles of clothing. Start the bids at 3 or 4 dollars plus ask extra for the shipping. For instance it will guestimate shipping is 3.01 you can charge lets say 6.00 plus 3.00 for the shirt. You profit about 5.00 after fees. If you sale 20 of those that is a 100 for your pocket. Just saying one way to make a dollar fairly easily. Another way if you cant find a job is make a job. Offer to elder sit, run errands and do dishes for the elderly. Post a flier at the senior center. Make it an affordable service and you will be busier then you know what to do. I ask far less then I am worth because it brings me more work and I keep a steady income that way. Also call your electric company and ask for charities to help pay your electric... they will tell you which ones do this. You can get a big bill paid like once a year. Free cell phone from the food stamps. If you are already on FS go on line and find free sale phones for people on food stamps... just google it. You can use computers at the library for free rather then have internet bill. There are ways to make it. Be creative.
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:31 AM
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Default I totally understand

Quote:
Originally Posted by browpa1 View Post
I am trying to hold it down for him and just maintain what we have left, it's harder than I let on. I would never want to say to him.. I just cant do this anymore.. I am really struggling. One income and 4 mouths to feed and clothed is really starting to wear me down. I lost my job last September, so I am doing this on unemployement and child support. When he was home my paychecks were for decorating and purchasing dump stuff really, as well as saving for a rainy day. Well that rainy day has long past. I lost my job in September and have been robbing Peter to pay Paul every since. My job hunt is crazy.it seems to be non existant. I am desperate, I have even thought of working in a McDonalds..well 3 or 4 of them to make ends meet...I cant find a job anywhere near what I used to make at my old job and entry level work is not even more than my unemployment check. Is there anyone out there is Maryland who has the ups on an open job..please feel free to email me personally if you dont wish to blast this information..but at this time my husband and children need me and I feel like Im drowning in debt. Im sure I am not alone in this ..but at this point pride has left the building..just between us ... I need help.

Thanks
First let me say I am sorry to hear about your strong struggles yes I said strong struggles these things make us stronger. I live in Michigan we have this thing called the lsp program it lowers your gas and electric bill to a price that you can afford monthly and then they pay the rest , look into it maybe your state has something similar. Try applying at temp services even if it is $10.00 an hour you can work 10 a day which totals to $100.00 a day. School bus companies always need bus monitors then work at the school during lunch time, it may seem like it is not a lot but trust me it adds up , I made it 4 years by myself using these methods. After a while you will see that you probably are spending money on unnecessary things anyway. It took a lot of sacrifice but the lord saw me through it. Maybe you can start a baby sitting service for working parents, if you need to stay home with your child. If you have a car try being a uber driver. What about house keeping or jolly maid services these are all jobs you can get in quickly.
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:32 AM
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First let me say I am sorry to hear about your strong struggles yes I said strong struggles these things make us stronger. I live in Michigan we have this thing called the lsp program it lowers your gas and electric bill to a price that you can afford monthly and then they pay the rest , look into it maybe your state has something similar. Try applying at temp services even if it is $10.00 an hour you can work 10 a day which totals to $100.00 a day. School bus companies always need bus monitors then work at the school during lunch time, it may seem like it is not a lot but trust me it adds up , I made it 4 years by myself using these methods. After a while you will see that you probably are spending money on unnecessary things anyway. It took a lot of sacrifice but the lord saw me through it. Maybe you can start a baby sitting service for working parents, if you need to stay home with your child. If you have a car try being a uber driver. What about house keeping or jolly maid services these are all jobs you can get in quickly.
Go on Craigslist as well
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Old 09-11-2016, 01:45 PM
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I found a really good job on Craigslist once. Just a word of warning though. Be careful filling out applications or emailing personal information before knowing that they are legitimate. Some people post fake jobs (that look very real) just to get personal information.

Temp agencys are a great option. Sign up for every one in your area. You may get called only for a day or two at a time but as said its a great way to "get in" a company and possibly get a permanent position. Get up and dressed every work day and be ready to walk out the door because some only give you short notice. Good luck!
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Old 09-12-2016, 04:38 PM
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Try going to maryland.gov and click on the link residents, you'll see a link for assistance programs. There's a link for energy assistance that shows the income eligibility to apply for it. You can also look for state jobs on the site. Don't know if you would be interested in a gov job.

Also, you can try Goodwill Industries in downtown Baltimore for job assistance.
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