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  #1  
Old 11-04-2019, 10:35 PM
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Default Is this controlling behavior?

I donít know where to put this, so feel free to move it. Iíve been writing to a celebrity I wonít name every other month for 5 years because I thought heíd appreciate outside contact that wasnít just fan mail. I understood if he didnít write back because I assumed he got a ton of mail. Well two years ago I proposed the idea of dating. He didnít respond until two years later a month before my marriage anniversary to someone else and implied that he was interested in a more sexual relationship. I talked my husband about having an open marriage and wrote back with more frequency. However he still hasnít written back to either encourage me or discourage me from writing. Itís a very odd relationship and seems completely one-sided. I canít even tell his response to my letters and if they make him happy or angry or annoyed or what. He wonít even email me through Corrlinks. Is this the sign of controlling or manipulative behavior? What is up with that?
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Old 11-04-2019, 10:43 PM
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What?! I don't know what it is but if he can only be bothered to write every few years, I don't see how that's supportive of any type of relationship. Celebrity or not, he clearly is filling his time with other things.

Actually, yeah-- it's creepy. Doesn't write for two years and then drops that he wants a sexual relationship? Pass.
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Old 11-05-2019, 12:06 AM
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Controlling? No. It is disinterested.
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Old 11-05-2019, 02:49 AM
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Itís not a relationship, itís nothing.
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Old 11-05-2019, 04:27 AM
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Controlling? No. It is disinterested.


Telling me that he thinks of me often is not disinterested
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Old 11-05-2019, 04:30 AM
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I just want to know if this is a sign of a cult leader, narcissist, or predator. He only reached out when my correspondence became less and he was afraid of losing me.
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Old 11-05-2019, 05:40 AM
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Again, it's nothing, he just wants to keep you "in the loop" just in case the others won't work out.. you are probably not the only one and he's playing with you.
To be honest - I see the problem more with you than him...
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Old 11-05-2019, 08:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grad0507 View Post
I donít know where to put this, so feel free to move it. Iíve been writing to a celebrity I wonít name every other month for 5 years because I thought heíd appreciate outside contact that wasnít just fan mail. I understood if he didnít write back because I assumed he got a ton of mail. Well two years ago I proposed the idea of dating. He didnít respond until two years later a month before my marriage anniversary to someone else and implied that he was interested in a more sexual relationship. I talked my husband about having an open marriage and wrote back with more frequency. However he still hasnít written back to either encourage me or discourage me from writing. Itís a very odd relationship and seems completely one-sided. I canít even tell his response to my letters and if they make him happy or angry or annoyed or what. He wonít even email me through Corrlinks. Is this the sign of controlling or manipulative behavior? What is up with that?
There's so many WTF moments in this post, that I lost count after 10.
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Old 11-05-2019, 08:21 AM
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Telling me that he thinks of me often is not disinterested
I could tell you I think of you often (I'm not). This means it has to be true.
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Old 11-05-2019, 08:29 AM
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This is like the online dating guy who send a random text every few months to cast his line
It is called taking a heartbeat or a pulse
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Old 11-05-2019, 11:10 AM
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There's so many WTF moments in this post, that I lost count after 10.
Glad I wasn't the only one. Is there such a thing as a celebrity offender? O/P lost me after that statement.
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Old 11-05-2019, 12:10 PM
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Glad I wasn't the only one. Is there such a thing as a celebrity offender? O/P lost me after that statement.
I checked out after "open marriage" and asking your spouse if you can date a prisoner before an anniversary. What in the actual hell....? That's a pretty big oxymoron. It actually is possible for one person to make you happy. To each their own.
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Old 11-05-2019, 01:22 PM
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I can just picture the anniversary dinner. Awkward. hahah

"Can you pass the gravy please? oh and Hey can we have a open marriage?"
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Old 11-05-2019, 01:37 PM
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I can just picture the anniversary dinner. Awkward. hahah

"Can you pass the gravy please? oh and Hey can we have a open marriage?"
" He didnít respond until two years later a month before my marriage anniversary to someone else and implied that he was interested in a more sexual relationship

LOL? marriage anniversary to "someone else". Respectful there. How is this even a real post. Just when I think I've read it all here... magic happens.
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Old 11-05-2019, 01:56 PM
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It sounds like he isn't interested in a relationship at all. Every couple years isn't caring at all. It sounds like he contacts you when another relationship ends and stops when he finds someone else.
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Old 11-05-2019, 02:34 PM
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I I don’t think it’s controlling behavior. A controlling manipulative person usually shows more interest than an every other year check in. I think it’s disturbing behavior but not surprising coming from a “celebrity inmate” who is probably a narcissist. What I find disturbing is the fact that you can’t figure this out yourself and actually care what someone with this much disinterest is thinking. And what possible kind of sexual relationship is he offering? And when? He sounds psycho
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Old 11-05-2019, 03:39 PM
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No its bizarre behaviour. If you want an open marriage so you can get involved with a guy who can barely write to you once a year then go for it.
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Old 11-07-2019, 11:33 PM
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Talk about an off-again/on-again relationship. I'll check back on this thread in a couple of years.
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Does anyone spiral into control?
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Old 11-18-2019, 10:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grad0507 View Post
I ...I can’t even tell his response to my letters and if they make him happy or angry or annoyed or what. He won’t even email me through Corrlinks. Is this the sign of controlling or manipulative behavior? What is up with that?

From what you wrote it seems like he only writes to you when he has nothing else to do. I doubt he's trying to control or manipulate you. I doubt he's interested in having any sort of relationship at all.
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Old 11-18-2019, 08:33 PM
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I just want to know if this is a sign of a cult leader, narcissist, or predator. He only reached out when my correspondence became less and he was afraid of losing me.
Youíre flattering yourself. Go have dinner with your husband.
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Old Yesterday, 01:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grad0507 View Post
I donít know where to put this, so feel free to move it. Iíve been writing to a celebrity I wonít name every other month for 5 years because I thought heíd appreciate outside contact that wasnít just fan mail. I understood if he didnít write back because I assumed he got a ton of mail. Well two years ago I proposed the idea of dating. He didnít respond until two years later a month before my marriage anniversary to someone else and implied that he was interested in a more sexual relationship. I talked my husband about having an open marriage and wrote back with more frequency. However he still hasnít written back to either encourage me or discourage me from writing. Itís a very odd relationship and seems completely one-sided. I canít even tell his response to my letters and if they make him happy or angry or annoyed or what. He wonít even email me through Corrlinks. Is this the sign of controlling or manipulative behavior? What is up with that?
Im just sort of curious why you are not putting this effort into your spouse? No offense I think you are a little self absorbed and bat shit crazy...
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