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  #1  
Old 08-29-2007, 08:29 AM
masterbains7 masterbains7 is offline
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Default Character Letter Ultimate Act of Betrayal

My brother who is soon to be sentenced for possession of CP has been going through the motions of asking friends and family that has been a support to him through all of this for character letters. Rather then picking dozens of people to say the same thing, he decided to limit his letter request to a sampleing from the best people so as not to bombard the judge and make letters unmeaningful by the massive quanity. Him and his wife decided to use the outline of what to do and not to do from THIS BOARD and also included a personal letter to each person describing the nature of the events that has taken place and his role in the offense. This way every person (while they all knew what was going on) was on the same page with information to write a personal letter of character. With his friends with children he asked them to speak in the letter about how they did not feel he was a danger to them or their children. He felt safe to do this because not only have these friends shown great amounts of support through all of this, they continued to do things as a family with him and his family and have told him time and time again how they never for one second beleive he was a danger to anyone.

A few days ago he got a call from his attorney saying that the sentencing judge received a letter from someone that basically showed all of the coorespondance that my brother sent asking for help, including his personal letter of events that took place as well as his feelings about the case and a copy of the outline on this board. The judge sent copies of this to his attorney, the AUSA and the PO. Some of my brothers personal thoughts dealt with the whole issue of the witchhunt with these sorts of crimes and how the justice system in this district is ill prepared to handle cases of this nature. While it was understood by his friends and familiy, the letter could be taken in a way of an insult to all the parties involved including the judge. But the biggest betrayal came in the part of the letter to where my brother asked this friend to speak about how he was not a danger to anyone. That part of the letter that was sent to the judge included a written caption saying that "WE DO THINK HE IS A DANGER". Not only does my brother have to deal with having what he wrote become public, but also has someone telling the sentencing judge that he was in fact a danger to society!

What the friend who did this was unaware of was that my brother made each letter personal and knew exactly who it was that did it. He and his wife decided to confront this "friend" on Sunday. His wife started by saying "We have not seen your letter of support can we still get help from you" the Friend said "Sure hon not a problem, we have been so busy we have not had a chance to do it, but we are certainly going to do that for you". My bro's wife then told her about how the judge received all of the confidntial information and that he was a danger and that it was her letter. Immediately she changed into the devil woman, we asked her if she did it and she said "yes". When asked why she said because she lived in a family where her siblings were molested by their father and he never had to answer to anyone for what he did and while my brother did not molest anyone, it was all in the same vein. She also blamed him and his wife for fracturing the group of friends that were so close (they did everything together). My bro and his wife asked her if she thought he was in fact a danger to them or their kid and they said no. His wife then asked her if she had any idea what she did when she decided to betray him like that and that he could get 8 years in prison if they took his AOR points away. She said, "no hon, I did not cause him to get 8 years, you didn't cause him to get 8 years, he did that to himself for what he did. We have an open ended ticket to do what ever we want to do to him and what ever punishment he receives as a result is his fault for doing what he did."

The sickest things of all of this was that she did all of this behind her husbands back, he had no clue at all that she did this and was shocked at listening to what she did to my brother. The other disturbing thing is that this "friend" up in till the time she got caught portrayed her self as a strong supporter of both my brother and his family. It takes a certain level of scum to have a person go to you and ask you for help to save their life and have you agree to help them only to stab them through the heart and betray them and then look them in the face to continue to support them knowing full well what you have done to them.

Now my brother (besides the normal things he has to fight at sentecing) has to deal with a judge/prosecutor who basically read his diary of thoughts, and read his playbook on how he asked for letters from people and deal with the issue that the judge has to beleive that he is a danger to someone out there.
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Old 08-29-2007, 09:24 AM
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God! This is deplorable.I wish you had sent the letters to your lawyer for review, that is what my son's lkawyer requested,not to send directly ot judge, as some people , do say stuff , not meaning to do damage and it can be caught. Your sister-in law should re writ e the judge and tell of her past history and that it stiired up old anger and feeling she put on your husband. Geez, this is a mess, I hopethe judge can get a letter from you or the sisiter herself , explaining that she has beeen in support and doesn't have fear for her kids, and that she toook out her personal angfer inappropriaetly on her pages tothe Judge. Please keep us posted as to what happens to your brother................
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Old 08-29-2007, 09:26 AM
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Oh my gosh! I was sick to my stomach reading your post. What kind of person does something like that?? I know that when my son wrote friends and family members asking for character letters...I knew that he would be receiving a lot of support. You would never expect someone who was a friend to stab you in the back like that. I hope that your brother will be okay. My son...who has the same charge...is really having a hard time. I can not imagine having to have the added worry like your brother has. How did the conversation end with this woman? And by the way...my mother who was abused by her father..does not think like that woman. She knows that her grandson is not a danger to anyone. She loves him and is supporting him through all of this. My thoughts and prayers are with you all....
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Old 08-29-2007, 09:33 AM
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I think that anyone reading this should take note that not everyone out there wants to help or is a good person and you should be very careful when "putting things in writting"
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Old 08-29-2007, 10:25 AM
masterbains7 masterbains7 is offline
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all the letters were directed to come back to him so that the lawyer could review them and send them on. The "friend" sent it to the judge on her own beleiving that she could end run my brother and he would never find out what she did.

As for never putting anything in writing, i think it is true to a point, however in these types of cases the need to be open and honest about everything is imparative so that people see that you are trying to take the right steps in healing. Any information left out to close friends and family will only be taken as a sign that he still has things to hide. (11 of the 12 people receiving the letter believed it was very informative and they felt better about things after reading it.
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Old 08-29-2007, 11:04 AM
Mrs.Bike Mrs.Bike is offline
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There is a "Judas" in every group. I agree that putting things you don't want the judge to know in writing is playing with fire. Along the way in life I am afraid we all have to learn, usually the hard way, that good trusted friends can be counted on one hand.

Last edited by Mrs.Bike; 08-29-2007 at 11:13 AM..
  #7  
Old 08-29-2007, 11:19 AM
Zelda50 Zelda50 is offline
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Sickening. I know what that is like - to have someone you thought was a friend turn out to be an enemy. People use all sorts of rationale to justify their actions but it is betrayal, bottom line. Z.
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Old 08-29-2007, 11:57 AM
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Masterbans - talk about fracturing a circle of friends?? What this woman did is just wrong. I'm just shaking my head...in situations like this you ultimately find out who your "true" friends are. Unfortunately this "friend" has made a bad situation worse. Hope you all can salvage something from what she has done. Just remember, "What goes around, comes around". She might justify what she did in her own mind as right, but in the end it will come back on her.
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Old 08-29-2007, 01:09 PM
PTO-97580 PTO-97580 is offline
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Man, I am just speechless. You and I have talked for a long time and I was having a pretty good feeling about a lighter sentence. This just sucks. What a bitch. In the end she will have to live with herself. Dont give her anymore ammunition. Just hold your head high and do as much damage control as you and your attorney can.
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Old 08-29-2007, 01:31 PM
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Wow...
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Old 08-29-2007, 01:53 PM
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I read this and I can not believe someone would do something so cruel. I obviously do not know this person, but the betrayel here is beyond words. I am so sorry this happened to you. I often question peoples motives.. Unfortunately, some people do not care if they hurt someone or not. Sounds to me this person is one of those.
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Old 08-29-2007, 02:59 PM
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That's despicable. What a horrible way to find out someone you believed was a friend is instead a vicious, two-faced back-stabber. I hope your brother will be able to somehow salvage the situation with the judge and that you all will find healing from this terrible betrayal.
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Old 08-29-2007, 03:23 PM
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Angry O M G !!!!!!!

That is horrible what that woman did. Hopefully it can be mentioned that her actions were out of spite for what happened to her as a child. Sounds like she has some major psyche issues. I'll say a special prayer that the Judge will let the posistive outweigh the negative, and that your brother will be home soon.
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Old 08-29-2007, 03:31 PM
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I thought I had seen every guttersnipe move in my case, but this this is salmonella of the mind......OH my....ya know....I have three lists the Gotcott list for everpresent consideration, the Sh&$ list for those that have earned that stature and my favorite the hobby list.....and this bottom feeding sub human guuttersnipe most definitly has achieved HOBBY LIST FAME, I am truly sickened by this kind of 2 bit chickens%&# self righteous and unnecessary act by someone portraying themselves as a supporter and friend and as I ponder this Hienous act I recall someone referring to "Judas" ..... and he hung himself in shame. Gotcott
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Old 08-29-2007, 04:58 PM
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I agree that your brother's friend was absolutely out of line. She should have been up front about her feelings. I do not mean to be a downer, but I too am a victim of incest and molestation. Maybe she was supporting your brother just because everyone else was. I am not making excuses for the lady, because she should have been straightforward. But unless you are/have been a victim of a sex crime, then you have no idea the scars that are left behind. I can relate to the woman, because I was molested by an uncle for years. He has never accepted responsibility for his actions, and he probably continues to abuse other children. I understand that your brother has taken full responsibility for his actions, but until you walk in the shoes of a victim of a sex crime you will have no idea. I wish there were sex offender laws in place when I was a child. I am not suggesting your bro is a bad person, but I thank God for the laws to protect our children. Too many people take advantage of children. Again, I do not know all the facts of your bros case, so I am not here to judge him. I am only expressing my opinion.
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Old 08-29-2007, 05:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby Girl27
I agree that your brother's friend was absolutely out of line. She should have been up front about her feelings. I do not mean to be a downer, but I too am a victim of incest and molestation. Maybe she was supporting your brother just because everyone else was. I am not making excuses for the lady, because she should have been straightforward. But unless you are/have been a victim of a sex crime, then you have no idea the scars that are left behind. I can relate to the woman, because I was molested by an uncle for years. He has never accepted responsibility for his actions, and he probably continues to abuse other children. I understand that your brother has taken full responsibility for his actions, but until you walk in the shoes of a victim of a sex crime you will have no idea. I wish there were sex offender laws in place when I was a child. I am not suggesting your bro is a bad person, but I thank God for the laws to protect our children. Too many people take advantage of children. Again, I do not know all the facts of your bros case, so I am not here to judge him. I am only expressing my opinion.
I can empathize with you as our 14 yr old son was the victim of a sex offense. His abuser is currently in prison which is where she belongs for now. The current sex offender laws however, do nothing to protect children. They are put in place by politicians who refuse to listen to the true facts and statistics regarding sex offenses. They are all put in place because of media hype and sensationalism of a very few heinous crimes. All sex offenders are not "Child Molesters". Statistically you were probably abused by a family member or someone you knew. What is happening now is that even low risk offenders and even innocent people are paying for the crimes of the relatively few dangerous offenders. I hope you are doing well and Godspeed
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Old 08-29-2007, 07:36 PM
Baby Girl27 Baby Girl27 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by outraged
I can empathize with you as our 14 yr old son was the victim of a sex offense. His abuser is currently in prison which is where she belongs for now. The current sex offender laws however, do nothing to protect children. They are put in place by politicians who refuse to listen to the true facts and statistics regarding sex offenses. They are all put in place because of media hype and sensationalism of a very few heinous crimes. All sex offenders are not "Child Molesters". Statistically you were probably abused by a family member or someone you knew. What is happening now is that even low risk offenders and even innocent people are paying for the crimes of the relatively few dangerous offenders. I hope you are doing well and Godspeed

I understand that not all sex offenders are child molesters. In the news, I have seen alot lately offenders are receiving 20+ years for touching a child or any kind of abuse towards children. Those types of cases make me happy, because future children are being protected from those heinous individuals. It is sad that even low risk offenders and even innocent people are paying for the crimes of the relatively few dangerous offenders, but that is how it is with any crime whether white collar, drug, or sex offenses. Penalties can be so harsh for an act that is so minor.

Last edited by Baby Girl27; 08-29-2007 at 07:40 PM..
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Old 08-29-2007, 10:07 PM
dhookemhorns200 dhookemhorns200 is offline
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this whole situation reminds me of something my attorney told me.. trust nobody number 1.. and by the time this whole thing is over people you thought you could trust will let you down.. and you will find out who your real friends really are.. and boy was he right..
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Old 08-30-2007, 09:26 AM
masterbains7 masterbains7 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby Girl27
I agree that your brother's friend was absolutely out of line. She should have been up front about her feelings. I do not mean to be a downer, but I too am a victim of incest and molestation. Maybe she was supporting your brother just because everyone else was. I am not making excuses for the lady, because she should have been straightforward. But unless you are/have been a victim of a sex crime, then you have no idea the scars that are left behind. I can relate to the woman, because I was molested by an uncle for years. He has never accepted responsibility for his actions, and he probably continues to abuse other children. I understand that your brother has taken full responsibility for his actions, but until you walk in the shoes of a victim of a sex crime you will have no idea. I wish there were sex offender laws in place when I was a child. I am not suggesting your bro is a bad person, but I thank God for the laws to protect our children. Too many people take advantage of children. Again, I do not know all the facts of your bros case, so I am not here to judge him. I am only expressing my opinion.
Don't take this the wrong way Babygrl, but this kind of logic of the fact that something happened to you as a child to justfiy what it is that his "friend" did is exactly why the witchhunt of all forms of sex offenders is present. I am not directing this at you as I am that I know alot of people share your thoughts. I am not sure what makes me more sick to my stomach the fact that she did what she did and why she did it, or the fact that really nobody seems to express the outrage that a human being would expect on such an act of betrayl. Outraged was right when he talks about the fact that the media hype and politicians plant a seed into society minds that all sex offenders are the same. We have gone from a soceity that punishes people for what they did (i.e molested a child, you can't be trusted to be around them again) to punishing people for things that they have yet to do (view an image of an underage female abd you rise to the same level of those who molest) His "friend" summed up those feelings by saying to him "Once an alcholoic always an alcoholic,---Once a possess of child pornograghy always a molester?" The nuts and bolts of it is that if this type of actions of impeding on another human beings life as judge and jury are continually tried to be justified then where does it end? I do not mean to be on a soapbox here but when it comes down to it, nobody wants to see their child looked at in a sexual way but to me there is no difference between a man that glances at a provocatively dressed 16yr old female at a mall and naturally produces a sexual image to those that do the same exact thing online. How do we criminilize behavior that is immoral but normal. The only difference I see is by doing the same thing on line allows for evidence to lable that person a sex offender. We all know the response is that when you view a nude image of a underage female online she is violated over and over and fuels an industry that expliots minors, but truth is your daughters are violated several times a day just with a trip at the mall or the beach if we locked up and labled every man that was guilty of that, we would have a hell of alot more prisons.

For those who feel like Babygrl and my brothers "friend". The justice system has heard your pleas and has continued to broaden the base of what is considered a sex offender. EVERY sex offender no matter WHAT he/she has done is automatically raised to the level of a molestor because the government "Cannot take any chances". They have strengthed the prison terms on all cases and closed all the loopholes that would allow people accused of sex offenses a "break" or a "2nd chance". They do not allow Half Way house transition for any of these people to ease them back into society as a way to "protect society further". They even passed more laws that would allow them to keep people in prison even AFTER their prison custody sentence is over. And should these people somehow eventually find a way to get out from custody, the system has the "sex offender lable attached to these people including but not limited to their faces, names and addresses so that all public can continue to punish them in addition to daily changing restrictions of where to live, where to walk, who to talk to.

But through all of this we still have people like my brothers "friend" and babygrl who beleive that it is not enough and they feel justified to make those punishments stronger because they were molested as children or that they are no longer attractive enough. (Don't laugh at this, I actually heard a woman tell my brother that she was sick and tired of men no longer looking at her because she was in her 40's and was constantly jealous of men looking at college girls that she actually referred to those old men as molesters for being attracted to girls that she no longer could be.)
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Old 08-30-2007, 01:07 PM
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Wow....I am speachless.
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Old 08-30-2007, 08:18 PM
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Wow...I'm sorry this happened. I was almost molested as a child by a family friend, but even I can't justify what your brother's "friend" did. If she felt uncomfortable by his request, she should have been upfront & refused to write the letter. To submit all of his personal thoughts to the judge without his permission is outrageous.

All I can say is that I'll pray for the situation...I know it has to be difficult right now.
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Old 08-30-2007, 08:42 PM
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perhaps you could ask her husband to send a letter to the judge explaining his wife's very prejudicial views and stating that he does not agree with them and had no knowledge of the afore mentioned letter...
that might help especially if she signed his name to the letter...and then perhaps she should avail herself of some counselling cause she's wound a little to tight...imo
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Old 08-30-2007, 09:06 PM
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My fiancee' is in a similar situation. He had an "ex" friend that thought she was going to marry him. He had told her repeatedly that he was not even interested in her. She continued to show up on his door step. She would have her daughter drop her off and leave. He would take her back home and tell her to please stop doing that. All this time we were engaged and planning a wedding. He finally told her that he was getting married and she was not to show up at his house again. She told him at that time that she would "ruin" him. A few days later, while he was at work, she entered his house thru an unlocked window.( That was the only way she could get in). She placed several disks of CP in his house in hidden places. Plus she downloaded CP on his computer. Later that evening she went to the police and told them that he had CP in his possession and that she was his fiancee'. Around 1:00am they came to his house, busting down the doors and arrested him. He was asleep in bed and had no idea what they were talking about. Of course they searched his home and tore the place up. They found the disks and confiscated his computer. He had no way of proving himself innocent or proving that she did it. The evidence was in his home. He is now serving 84 months in Federal Prison in Texas. I often wonder how this woman sleeps at night. When he gets out he will have to register as a SO. I know those disks were not there before that day because we have been together for a couple of years and I was there every day. I can only hope that she will have to answer to GOD. In the meantime, we are taking one day at a time. So I guess my point to all of this that there are people in this world that are very vindictive and like to play GOD with other people's lives.
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Old 08-31-2007, 04:34 PM
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Babygirl27,

I was a child victim. NO law currently on the books would have protected me from my victimizers, NOT ONE. All of these laws do is try to catch a horse after it has already left the barn, and prevent offenders from ever re-establishing any kind of life after they leave custody. The U.S. Department of Justice reported in a study of child rape victims under 12 that 96% were assaulted by family, relatives, or someone they knew and trusted. No laws are going to stop that unless you have police officers in every household.

Despite how I feel about those in my past, I could never in a thousand years justify punishing someone I called a friend for the sins of another. I just don't get that. It is beyond me how it could be a justification.

I think the label Judas is quite appropriate. Betray someone under the guise of friendship.
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Last edited by anothersurvivor; 08-31-2007 at 04:40 PM..
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Old 09-01-2007, 04:56 PM
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I stand heavy with Babygirl on this one. Your friends wife had every right to send her letter just as you had every right to send for pleas to help you out of your mess. Bottem line is that that exploitation of children is a crime and needs to be stopped on every single level. You can not compare someone passing a glimpse at a girl on the street to someone using their energy to find them on the internet. Glimpsing on the street is not a crime, however internet CP is. Ask any Psychiatrist how likely it is that once a man strays in that direction how that is the direction they stay in. The reason that child molesters/CP, anything at all to do with a child are segregated in Prison population is clearly obvious. Even murderers will not tolerate you. Everyone should know by now that the Government takes a very heavy, serious stance on CP, don't be surprised or cry to friends for help when you get caught, don't think this is a personal witch hunt, you chose the wrong thing. It is about time Children start being protected.
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